Chapter Sixty-One. Lavante.
Sixty-One
Lavante.
As I walk out from behind the register of cash and wind my way through the wives, Ronl pushes his glasses back into place and gives me a wave—but then loses his smile as he sees the saddlebag I’m taking with me.
At the door, I lift a hand to him, and after a moment, he does the same.
He seems very grave, no doubt because he’s thinking about the very same thing his wife told me about.
Demons have come to the Badlands. So now is not the best time for anybody to leave.
Outside, I take a moment to enjoy the sun, and then walk back down to the stables.
As I arrive, I look out to the realm tree.
The chestnut gelding has been covered by a lovely white drape with a pattern on it, and I watch the other horses nibbling at the grasses, drinking from the stream, and standing together in a herd—
“He’s all ready for you, mistress.”
“I’m sorry?” I murmur absently. Then I turn around.
And don’t know what else to say.
The magnificent golden horse with the white mane and tail is saddled with the gelding’s saddle, but not the bridle, no doubt because of the size difference.
I immediately shake my head. “I cannot take this horse—”
The girl keeps her voice low. “I know what you did. Last night.”
Going absolutely still, I say levelly, “I beg your pardon.”
“The cook never left the pub kitchen. Ever. Not for an errand, not for a wander, not even for a breath of fresh air. Except for last night, when your husband came down and the two of them talked.”
“I don’t know what you speak of—”
“My sister told me you approached her and begged her to let you help yesterday. That you saw what that animal did to her and so you were compelled—” She has to collect herself.
“For so long, I’ve tried to get her to come and stay with us.
The stabler and his wife are very kind and good people.
They would have taken her in in a moment. She wouldn’t leave though.”
Because the cook had threatened to take her sister in her place, I think to myself.
The stable hand continues, “I never understood why he picked on her the most, but I was certain that one night, he was going to…” She looks away.
“My twin is the other half of me, and the guilt I feel that she’s lived with what she’s had to and I have everything so safe and contented with the horses—it wasn’t fair. But you changed that—”
“I’m afraid you’re mistaken. I did talk to her, yes, and I asked her to allow me to—”
“I know what you both did for her.” She presses the reins into my hands.
“And you must take him. He is the only thing I possess in this world other than the clothes on my back. I raised him from a foal, and though I have been offered money enough to live on my own … I haven’t wanted to let him go. Until now.”
“And you must keep him—”
“Tell me you did not put your own lives at risk to save my sister’s. Tell me, and upon your honor, do not lie.”
I open my mouth. Close it. “You don’t have to do this.”
“You didn’t have to save her.” The girl brushes the tears from her cheeks and then looks at the horse. “I always had the sense that I was just holding him for his real destiny. I feel as though this is all working out the way it was supposed to.”
I look at the horse properly, although not in the eyes, of course—
Oh, he is even more magnificent up close. And I am struck with the conviction that this big, strong stallion, with his intelligent head carriage, and his long, powerful legs, might well be the only thing that can get me where I need to go.
“I will come back,” I hear myself say. “And I will return him to you.”
This is a terrible vow to make. I can no more ensure I can make the journey, much less swing back through here as a war is started.
“He’s very smart.” The girl runs her hand down his gleaming muzzle. “He’ll pull his head if you let him. And watch his back left shoe. He throws it when he gets bored.”
Then she winds herself around his neck and squeezes. I want to tell her no, just as I tried to stop Lena, just as I wished the maid wouldn’t cook anything special for me. But these gifts that refuse to be denied are filling a place in me that’s so broken, I can’t bear to look too closely at it.
In the village where I spent all my days in service to others I was a pariah. Here, at the Outpost, among strangers, I’m embraced and taken care of.
So much of this destiny of mine has been unexpected and difficult to bear or believe, but this … is a lovely surprise.
The girl smiles even though her heart is clearly breaking. “I would have wanted to give him to you, even if you hadn’t lost your horse. I couldn’t have you leave with what you both did without paying you back in some way.”
“Thank you.”
Though I duck her eyes, I draw her in for an embrace, and I feel her tremble as she holds on to me. Then she pulls back, and straps the pack full of Lena’s clothes behind the saddle.
Where I used to sit.
The enormity of what I’m about to do hits me. Merc was my sword and shield. Now I’m on my own.
The girl offers me a lift up, and the instant I am in the saddle, I feel as though I’ve been astride this horse already. Beneath me, he prances and tosses his head, his platinum mane like a spray of water, but he doesn’t buck and he doesn’t bolt.
Maybe he’s just minding his manners for the moment and all the misbehaving comes later.
“What’s his name?”
“Lavante. In my language, it means wind from the east.” She steps back and crosses her arms over her chest. “He’ll eat anything, by the way. No worries there.”
As she looks out to the pasture, I can feel the energy coursing through the stallion, and he minces his hooves into the slop.
“I’ll take very good care of him.”
“I know you will.” She glances back in my direction. “It’s your nature. And when you find the way impassable and have to return, come here and I’ll check that back shoe while you wait for the water to recede.”
Her sister must have told her my plans.
I’m not coming back, though. And I don’t know what awaits me, but there’s no more time to waste.
“Thank you,” I say again.
Upon the signal of my heel, the stallion—Lavante—surges forward, plunging his hooves into the mud.
As we head off in the direction the maid told me to go in, his stride, even with the lousy ground, is smooth as a breeze, and my seat takes to him with such facility, I can’t believe it’s my first time on his back.
He also seems to behave himself, listening to the signals of the reins.
I don’t intend to stop again, but as I come up to the pub, the maid is out in front and she has a bundle in her arms. She starts waving as she sees me, and there’s no way I can pass her by.
The stallion comes to a halt as she steps off the shallow porch, and given his nicker of greeting, it’s clear they know each other.
“Emma told me she was going to give him to you,” the maid murmurs as she strokes his muzzle.
“I tried not to take him … but she insisted and I am very grateful.”
“I have this for you.” The maid holds out a cloth-wrapped weight. “There are utensils, more bread and cheese, and bladders you can fill for water.”
“Oh, I have half of what you prepared—”
I am roundly ignored. The maid secures her gifts to the saddle by rising up on her tiptoes. When things are settled to her satisfaction, she steps back.
“You will return,” she says, “when you see for yourself that the way is impassable. I shall save your room.”
There’s nothing else to say on that front, as far as I’m concerned. “Please take care of yourself.”
The girl looks down at her hands. “I…”
I want to hug her. “It was never your fault. You did nothing wrong. The problem was him.”
“Emma says that your husband…”
“You know what I’ve found helpful, in life?” I wait until she glances up at me, even as I don’t meet her eyes. “Only forward, never back. Your future is ahead of you.”
And indeed, I’m trying to heed my own words as I contemplate leaving here without Merc.
“I shall do my best.” She takes a step back. “And I will see you soon.”
No, I think to myself. You won’t.
In the heartbeat that follows, I know it’s time to go. I know I must nudge my heels into the stallion’s flanks, and loose the reins, and—
The center double doors open.
And Thale emerges.