Chapter 4 #2
“I’m not—it’s not selfish.” I sounded like I was begging. Maybe I was. “I don’t want to hurt anyone. I feel out of control.”
“You. You don’t want to hurt anyone.” The Seer paused. “It’s all about you.”
“But—”
“You don’t want to feel guilty. You don’t want to get in trouble. You don’t want to be seen as unstable.”
“I mean, yes. But I also genuinely don’t want to hurt anyone. I didn’t ask for these powers, but I got them anyway, and I need to find a way to master them for my sake and everyone else’s.”
“You’re ungrateful for your powers.”
“No, it’s not that.” I felt like I kept putting my foot in my mouth. “I’m just saying that I didn’t have a choice. I realize my magic is a gift. It’s just… not that simple.”
There was no answer from the faceless man in the darkened house.
“Please, I need your help desperately. From what I understand, you’re the only one with a chance of helping me figure things out.”
“I will help you when—and if—you’re ready.”
“I am ready now! I need to be ready. The Furies might have been defeated, but there are other dangers facing this island.”
“My training doesn’t begin on command; it begins when you prove you’re ready. You’re missing important pieces for training, pieces that I can’t provide. When you are ready, you may return.”
“But you haven’t told me how to get ready?”
“As ruler, people look to you for answers and not the other way around. You need to figure this out on your own, Alessia.”
“But—”
“That’s all for today.”
“I stopped court hours to come here—”
“Selfishly.”
I licked my lips, unable to argue with this figure in the darkness. He seemed determined to declare me selfish and ungrateful, no matter how much I tried to convince him otherwise. Sticking around longer wouldn’t help me get through to him.
“Very well,” I said. “Then, I suppose I’ll see you soon.”
I turned, feeling a wave of defeat on my shoulders like sandbags.
I’d completely and utterly failed at my first attempt at training.
I hadn’t even gotten through the front door, quite literally.
If Seer Goddard was my only chance of mastering my magic, and if I didn’t have any time to waste, none of this boded well.
On top of that, I wasn’t sure holding court hours at the castle had helped anything at all.
There’d been some whispers of support, but I’d gotten an overwhelming amount of pointed, cutting questions that had shaken my confidence, no matter how much I’d tried not to take it personally.
I’d needed three security guards just to get through it.
When I reached the bottom of the hill, I meandered down the path that would take me back to the castle. I stilled outside of the gleaming white structure, now empty since the Rangers had cleared the crowds.
I stood, gazing up at the throne, wondering how I could ever feel like I’d earned the seat.
The way I saw it, not very many people liked me much, and the one person I needed to train me seemed to want nothing to do with me.
I wasn’t going to give up this easily, but it was hard not to feel a little beaten down after the last few days.
“Aren’t you the queen?”
The voice of a little girl shook me from my reverie.
I glanced down, seeing a little girl in a thin, gingham dress with tiny straps for sleeves and a threadbare skirt.
She was barefoot, and her hair blew freely in the wind.
Her body was lean with wiry muscle, and there was dirt on her cheeks.
She looked like childhood summer incarnate.
“You’re wearing the crown?” The girl nodded up at me. “Isn’t this your castle?”
“I guess technically, that’s what people are saying,” I said. “It’s complicated.”
“I mean, either you’re the Fae Queen, or you aren’t.”
“That’s a good point.” I knelt to be on her level. “I am the Fae Queen. I’m just not used to the title yet.”
“Are you going to fix our lands? The ones ruined by the curse?”
“I’m trying. It will take some time. Are you from this area?”
“I’m a Forest Dweller,” she said. “But our lands are still hurt from the curse, so we’ve had to move to safer zones. Want me to show you what I mean?”
“Sure. I’d like that very much.”
The little girl took my hand, and together we crossed to the other side of the island via the castle bridge. She flitted ahead of me, dropping my hand as she entered the canopy of the dark woods and scurried ahead of me.
“Are you sure you should be in here by yourself?” I asked. “Is there a parent around?”
The girl shot me a truly quizzical look. “I live here.”
The girl darted nimbly through The Forest, not making a sound.
She knew these woods like the back of her hand; I could see it in the way she darted over logs and under branches with close to no effort.
I felt like a bull in a china shop, cracking through foliage and inadvertently snapping twigs as I strove to keep up with her easy grace.
“You’re kind of clumsy,” the girl noted. “Have you not been in The Forest before?”
“Not exactly. I hail from the concrete jungles of New York.”
“Is that in the village?”
I gave a short laugh. “It’s a sort of village, but it’s not on the island.”
“Look.” The girl pulled up short, gesturing before her. “It’s destroyed. This is where we used to live.”
I followed her gaze forward. Sure enough, she’d led me to the edge of charred earth that stretched from here to the cliffside.
Some of The Isle had been completely destroyed by the curse—I’d seen the curling blackness when I’d been releasing the original wards.
There was nothing I could’ve done to stop it, and now I wondered if there was anything I could do to heal it.
“I’m sorry,” I said. “I never meant for this to happen.”
“You can fix it.” The girl sounded more confident than I was. “If you’re the Fae Queen, you have all the magic you need to repair the damage. You’re the one who placed the new wards, right?”
“What’s your name?” I asked her. “You seem to know a lot about the Fae, considering the species was thought to be extinct for centuries.”
“The Forest Dwellers care a lot about stories. Passing down history around the campfire. I’ve heard lots of stories about the time of Fae Queens. Probably some of it is true.”
“Probably.”
“My name is Liza.”
“Liza, it’s a pleasure to meet you,” I said. “I swear to you that I’m going to do my best to repair your home. I’m just not sure if the land here is too dead to fix.”
“There’s still magic in the ground; it’s not dead.” Liza stepped forward so her tanned, bare toes dug into the scorched earth. “If you took your shoes off, you’d feel it, too.”
I slipped off the strapped sandals I’d been wearing beneath my dress and followed her onto the deadened earth, feeling a little snap beneath my feet as the brittle grasses and forest debris crumbled beneath my toes. Then… nothing.
Liza reached out and took hold of my hand. When she closed her eyes, I followed suit.
“Do you feel that?” she asked. “It’s still alive.”
I bent down and, with my free hand, touched the soil. I sensed it then; Liza was right. I detected the magic, faint like a weak heartbeat, but still the slightest buzz of energy. Enough to think there was a chance of restoring it.
“You’re right.” I opened my eyes and looked at Liza. “How did you get to be so smart?”
“Nothing to do with being smart.” Liza perched on a fallen log. “This is my home. I just pay attention.”
“Well, thank you for showing me all of this. You’ve given me a lot to think about. Can I walk you home?”
“No. Do you need me to walk you home?”
I smiled. “I think I’m okay. But if you have any other ideas, Liza, you be sure to come visit me at the castle.”
“Okay.” Then she was gone like a gazelle loping through the darkness.