7. Eleanor
ELEANOR
I stare into my closet and blow out a breath. This is ridiculous. I remind myself that it’s just a family dinner. Heck, I’ve hosted thousands of them through the years, and this is an easy one. It’s just us and the kids.
My phone buzzes on the bathroom counter, and I already know it’s Robert.
I bite back a smile, grab my phone, and read the text. “I’m outside.” That’s it. He’s not demanding or pressuring me; he’s just letting me know that he’s outside waiting for me.
I type back, “Coming.”
I smooth my hands down the front of my black dress and glance at myself one more time in the mirror.
My dress is simple and came from my closet.
I’ve worn it many times, and the family has seen it before whether they realize it or not.
It’s fitted, with long sleeves. It’s one that Bobby always liked because he said it hugged me in all the right places.
My stomach flutters at the thought. Dang, I’m nervous.
I grab my purse, and when I open my apartment door, Robert is standing on the other side.
I should have known he wouldn’t wait for me outside. His mouth drops when he sees me, and the way this man looks at me after thirty-five years should be illegal. His gaze slowly drags over my body, and his jaw tightens slightly. “Fuck, Ellie.”
Heat floods my cheeks. “What?”
He puts his hand at my waist. “You know what.”
I try not to smile as he leads me to the elevator. As soon as we’re shut inside, heat surrounds me. He stands facing me as I look at the closed elevator doors. Blushing, I glance over at him. “What? Why are you staring at me?”
His hand glides up and down my back. “You think you can look like that and I’m not going to stare at you?” He blows out a fast breath. “It’s killing me not having you with me.”
Instantly, I tense. That’s not what this is supposed to be about. This was supposed to be family dinner. This was supposed to be no pressure and no expectations, but before I can say anything, he holds his hands up. “Sorry. I’m sorry.”
He runs a hand through his hair and turns to stare at the elevator doors. “Betsy is fixing prime rib for dinner.”
I smile. “Sounds good.”
When we reach the ground floor, the doors open, and Paul and a few others are standing there waiting. They walk with us to the SUV, and Robert helps me in.
A few seconds later, he climbs in beside me and immediately reaches for my hand like he can’t help himself.
I glance down at our intertwined fingers, and my chest tightens.
Robert strokes his thumb across my knuckles. “You nervous?”
I let out a laugh. “A little.”
His eyebrows pull together. “Why?”
“Because I haven’t been to a family dinner since I left.”
His expression darkens, and I squeeze his hand. “Bobby, I wasn’t trying to hurt anybody.”
“I know.” He says it immediately. “But you did.”
Pain flashes through me. I know he’s right. I hurt him. And even though our boys are grown men who moved out of the house years ago, I know I hurt them too. I didn’t want to, but I didn’t see any other way that would make my husband listen.
He lifts my hand to his mouth and brushes his lips against my knuckles. “The house hasn’t been the same without you.”
Emotion clogs my throat, and I look out the window before I decide to completely give in to him. He has that kind of power over me, and just looking at him, dressed all in black with his smoldering eyes, makes me want to say yes to everything he’s asking for.
The rest of the drive passes quietly, and when we pull through the gates of the Kingston estate, my stomach twists harder.
This is my home. We raised our boys here. Every memory of our family is here. All the birthday parties, the Christmas mornings, the late nights waiting up for the boys to come home when they were teenagers. A whole lifetime was held in those walls.
Robert notices me staring. “You okay?”
I nod quickly. “Yeah.”
But he doesn’t look convinced.
As soon as the SUV stops, Robert is out. I wait for him to come around, and when Paul opens the door, Robert holds his hand out to me. I place my hand in his, and warmth spreads through me as he helps me out of the SUV.
The second we walk inside, noise fills the foyer.
Cole rounds the corner first, and the smile on his face nearly breaks me. “Mom! Oh my God.” He wraps his arms around me and squeezes tightly. “It’s about damn time.”
I laugh, hugging him back. “Hi to you too.”
Luna appears behind him, smiling softly. “We missed you.”
“I missed you guys too.”
Footsteps sound behind us, and Knox walks into the foyer. Knox has been a part of our family forever. He may be Bennett’s best friend, but he’s also a part of our family. Robert depends on him like he’s a Kingston. His eyes go from me to Robert and then back again.
“Well, shit,” he mutters. “Miracles do happen.”
“Knox,” I scold, but he grins and leans down to kiss my cheek.
Then Bennett appears, and instantly, I notice the difference. He hugs me and says he missed me, but something is off, I can tell.
We all sit down to dinner, and conversation flows easily.
Even though I haven’t been to family dinner in a few months, I have stayed in touch with my children, talking to them daily and seeing them a few times a week.
Laughter fills the room, and I can’t stop smiling. This is good, and I’m glad I came.
But I can’t stop watching Bennett. His attention keeps drifting off from the conversation, and his shoulders are tense. Twice during dinner, his phone buzzes, and both times his face flushes as he looks at the caller ID and then quickly turns it over.
Interesting.
Robert doesn’t notice a thing because it seems he’s too busy watching me.
The dinner is loud and chaotic, filled with laughter and the boys giving each other crap, but it feels good. For the first time in months… it feels like the Kingston family again.
I glance over and catch Robert watching me. He’s quiet as he stares down the length of the table.
When our eyes meet, something shifts in his expression. It’s almost like seeing me here has a calming effect on him.
The conversation shifts when Knox casually says, “I saw Audrey Sterling today.”
Bennett immediately stills. It’s subtle, and no one seems to notice but me and Knox. It’s obvious he was looking for a reaction.
Robert keeps eating like nothing happened.
Knox glances at Bennett with a smug smile. Those two have been thick as thieves for as long as I can remember, and Knox’s comment just reinforces my thought that there’s something going on with Bennett and Audrey.
Cole groans. “Why are we talking about the Sterlings during dinner?”
Knox shrugs. “Because she’s living in our territory.”
Luna looks confused. “Why would a Sterling move here?”
Nobody answers immediately.
Then Bennett says a little too quickly, “Maybe she’s smarter than the rest of them.”
The whole table goes quiet. Slowly, I lift my wine glass to my lips to hide my reaction.
Well, that is interesting. Bennett is defending Audrey.
Robert finally looks up. “You got something you want to say, Bennett?”
Bennett leans back in his chair. “Nope.”
But the tension at the table says otherwise.
I glance between them all, and realization slowly settles in my chest. Things are changing, and not just between me and Bobby. The whole family.
Dinner eventually winds down, and everyone slowly filters out.
Luna hugs me goodbye twice.
Cole tells me I need to come back soon.
Knox gives Robert a long look that clearly says they need to talk.
And Bennett? He disappears outside with his phone pressed to his ear.
Robert puts a hand on my lower back as he walks me toward the front door.
“You were quiet tonight,” he says once we’re alone.
I glance up at him. “I was observing.”
His lips twitch. “That sounds dangerous.”
“It probably is.”
He opens the front door for me, and cool night air rushes in. But instead of walking me to my car, he stops on the front steps and turns toward me.
The porch light casts shadows across his face, and suddenly he looks less like the Mafia king and more like my Bobby again.
“Come home,” he says quietly.
There’s no demand in it this time, and that’s what makes it harder.
I step closer and smooth my hand over the front of his tie. “Not yet.”
Pain flickers across his face before he hides it, but then he nods.
“Okay.”
And for the first time since I left… I’m not sure staying away is what I really want anymore.