Chapter 13 #2
“No, I love her. I wouldn’t dream of spoiling a holiday for her. But between you and me, the sweaters suck.”
She idly caressed his jaw as she studied the minute contours of his face.
Hazel had once said that if she wanted to know how a man would treat his wife, all you had to do was look at how he acted toward his mother.
A kind son meant a kind husband. An angry, resentful son meant a bitter, abusive husband.
It was obvious that Ryan cherished his mother, which meant his wife was in for a treat her whole life long.
Meanwhile, his thoughts were obviously elsewhere. “So your mom left and you became alpha female.”
She snorted. “I wish. I never shifted as a teen, so that honor fell to my cousin’s stepmother Mrs. Olivia Merriman.”
“Sounds like you don’t like her.”
She flopped onto her back and stared up at the ceiling. “Oh, she’s nice enough. Lazy and scatterbrained, but she’s actually a very nice person.”
“So why do people follow her?”
“Because she’s a full shifter, and her husband is a badass. He tells her what to do and say, and people go along with it.”
“While you do all the real work of the clan.”
She winced slightly at his terminology. “We’re a pack, not a clan. And I’m hoping that people remember how much I do for everyone.”
“Of course, they will. You underestimate your impact.”
And he underestimated pack prejudice. The most important thing for an alpha was to be a full shifter. It was a symbol of his or her strength. She wasn’t and never would be. But rather than wander in that depressing direction, she rolled back to face him.
“You didn’t finish your first shift story,” she said. “Tell me what happened.”
“Nothing all that unusual.” His lips curved as he spoke, showing that it was a good memory.
“Like lots of kids, I shifted in the middle of the night. A dream triggered it, I think. I was camping with my grandfather and suddenly I was this bear in a sleeping bag going crazy inside the tent. My grandfather started screaming and I was roaring. Then I got scared and ran. Ended up by the river in Gladwin State Park. There’s a grizzly clan there who watches the area.
Lots of Michigan shifters are drawn to the river, and so they were ready for me. ”
“Was it spring?” That’s when new shifters tended to change, and then they went searching for their home place. Like salmon swimming to their place of birth, new shifters went to the place where their genetics began. Apparently for him, that was in Gladwin.
“Yeah. And I was damn lucky that we were camping nearby. I ended up in the river, roaring at my reflection when some of the local shifters started talking to me. I’ll never forget it.
Mrs. Lansky snapped at me to remember I was a person and just get dressed.
” He chuckled. “I was a bear, and she was talking to me like I was a kid late for school.”
“So you changed back?”
“I did. Buck naked and sitting in freezing water. She wrapped me in a blanket, gave me a Tupperware bowl of meatloaf, and then I fell asleep in their truck. I was still asleep when they found my grandfather and brought him to me. Wish I’d been awake for the conversation when they brought him up to speed.
By the time I was up and searching for breakfast, he was telling me how I’d nearly given him a heart attack and my mother was never going to believe it.
” He cocked a brow at her. “She did, by the way, but I had to shift right in front of her.”
“I’ll bet that was fun.” How she’d longed for the moment when she could go wolf in front of her family. It was a major achievement in any werewolf’s life.
“Teenage boys do not like being naked in front of their mothers,” he said sternly. But then he softened into a smile. “But yeah, except for the naked part, I did love it. My sister even screamed.”
“But they accepted you?”
He hedged as his gaze canted away. “They love me. We’re good like that. But they’re not real comfortable with the paranormal.”
“So they don’t accept who you are deep inside. I’m sorry.”
He shrugged. “Maybe they’ll change if there are grandchildren.
” She heard longing in his voice. He wanted kids and a family who loved him for exactly who he was.
That was something they had in common. At least he still had hope.
As for her, she’d always be the disappointment in her family because she wasn’t a full shifter.
Meanwhile her mind skittered back over his words.
She’d followed his career closely, but maybe she hadn’t heard about a girlfriend.
“Do you have a woman in mind to help with that?” For all that she tried to sound casual, she hated that her voice was tight with jealousy.
His eyes widened. “You thought I’d sleep with you while dating someone else? You must really hate bears.”
She felt her face heat. “No, I don’t. I just haven’t gotten to know one before. Certainly not like this.”
He seemed to accept her words, though his expression was still stiff. “For the record, I don’t have a girlfriend. I gave up on dating a couple years ago. It’s hard enough finding someone who would love a cop, try explaining cop and shifter to a woman.”
“I hear that,” she said. “I don’t date outside of the shifter community and the last time I had a date was before my brother died.”
They fell into a silence and she thought they might be heading toward sleep until he stroked his hand over her arm. “Your turn. What happened with your first shift?”
She frowned, not understanding the question. “Nothing happened. I never shifted as a teen. Just many, many nights hoping and praying for something that never came.”
“But it did come. You’re a hybrid.”
She shuddered. That was not a memory she wanted to relive.
But he’d asked, and she wanted to keep this intimacy even if it was for only one night.
“My brother Hunter was always supposed to be the new alpha. He was a strong shifter, smart with money, and people liked him. I would have been happy to support him.”
“But then he died.”
Or Raoul killed him. “Normally, the alpha mantle would go next to Raoul. He’s smart and strong, but my father sees his faults.
Dad would support my leadership if I was a full shifter since there’s nothing to stop a she-wolf from running a pack, but I never changed.
” She grimaced. “I’m hoping he’ll say a hybrid is good enough. ”
“You said you didn’t choose this.”
She shook her head. “Dad invited me to dinner with Raoul and they both pitched the idea to me. Inject the serum, become a full shifter. I’ll admit I was interested.
” She sighed. “Interested, not convinced. But they didn’t wait for my consent.
I passed out from whatever was in my drink, and then woke up screaming. ”
She felt him stiffen beside her as a growl rolled through his body into hers.
It was the animal in him, angry that she had been so abused.
But instead of rousing the wolf in her, his fury filled her with warmth.
She couldn’t remember a male who had ever gotten angry on her behalf.
She knew it was because she projected such an air of competence.
She could handle anything, right? But the fantasy of having a man by her side to cherish and protect her—and beat the crap out of anyone who hurt her—was so tempting that she sunk into it and him.
She burrowed into his side as he gripped her shoulder and she allowed his strength to support her.
Heaven.
“How bad was it?” he asked.
“Really bad. Every joint, every cell burned. Even the air felt like fire.”
“Did you shift then? Into a hybrid?”
“Yes.” She’d thought shifting would ease the pain, but it hadn’t. She’d writhed on the floor, pouring out stink and agony. Both her brother and father had started throwing up and all the while, she’d been screaming.
“How long?” There was tension in his body from his questions. Raw fury that he held in check while he encouraged her to talk. And it helped. She was able to give him the information he wanted.
“I don’t really know. It felt like eons, but I recovered faster than my brother did. He was still gagging on the stench when I managed to stand up.” She grinned, sitting up. “I beat the shit out of him.”
“Wish you’d killed him.”
Sometimes she wished it, too. If she had, then none of this nightmare would have happened.
Raoul would never have gotten her father and most of the pack addicted to the serum, he wouldn’t have dumped it into the water supply and brought the city to its knees, and he sure as hell wouldn’t have rounded up Hazel and started a war with the bears.
But hindsight was 20/20 and even in the depth of agony, she hadn’t been able to kill her brother.
She wasn’t entirely convinced she could do it now.
Then Ryan adjusted so they sat face-to-face. His expression was shadowed but he caressed her cheek with heat and emotion. She read anger and respect. She didn’t want to think the word “love” but she felt that, too, though she had no idea if it was real or not.
“Let me kill him for you,” he said. “I know he’s your brother and a pack mate. You can’t pull the trigger, but I can.”
Overcome, she just stared at him, her mind reeling.
“I can do that for you,” he said.
“Become a murderer?”
He shrugged. “I’ve killed before.”
“In cold blood?”
He nodded, but she didn’t believe it. He was all about law and order.
She knew that because she’d followed his work in the gang task force.
He developed relationships with kids no one else wanted to even talk to.
He cooled tempers, talked about respect for oneself and others.
He was not one to go out and assassinate anyone even with good reason. It’s part of what made her lo—
She stopped her thoughts from that thought. It’s part of what made her like him so much.
“When?” she pressed. “When have you killed in cold blood?”
He arched a brow. “You want me to confess my sins to you?”
“Yeah. You got a problem with that?”