Chapter 28
SAPHIRA
My hands were shaking when I stepped from the waygate, my mind so filled with Kaeleron that I hadn’t even noticed the strange sensation of passing from the mortal realm to this one.
The breath that filled my lungs smelled of him, taunting me.
Teasing me. I halted on the pale flagstones that encircled the golden rotunda of the waygate and turned towards it, staring at the teal and cobalt maelstrom that swirled in the heart of the columns, flecked with gold.
The dagger I gripped felt heavier than usual.
I could scent his blood on the sharp edge of it.
“Saphira?” Sylvan stepped forwards, his eyes on me.
Watching me too closely.
His tone too gentle.
I would not break.
I shook my head, fighting the real tears that wanted to come as I replayed every second, every heartbeat, of what had happened in that square, as I put to memory every shift in Kaeleron’s expression and every graceful movement of his body.
Gods, it had been hard not to run to him and beg him to take me home.
Discovering that my parents really had been deceived by Sylas and the witch they had trusted had shaken me more than I had expected it would, and then seeing Kaeleron had compounded that feeling that I was drowning.
I was drowning and only he could save me.
I hadn’t been able to resist the need to feel him close to me again, to have his dark power curling around me like a tender embrace, banishing all the sorrow and pain, and fear, from my body and mind.
I had needed his strength so badly. I had needed him to stand there, not quite beside me as he usually did, and look at me like everything was going to be all right.
I had needed him to tell me that my blood changed nothing and that I could do this.
I could survive this court, save Danica, and return home, to a place I would still be welcome.
It had been a moment of weakness on my part, but I didn’t regret it.
It wasn’t a crime to need someone to lift you up at times, to rouse your courage and your strength, and make you feel you were worthy, even if it had felt like one.
As if I had failed because I hadn’t been able to handle all of this alone.
But we were a team. We had been a team for a long time now.
And when one of us faltered, the other lifted them up.
I realised that was the difference between fated love and true love.
At least for me. I had tried to lift Lucas up when he had faltered, when things had seemed to become too much for him, but he had never done the same for me.
He had never supported me as Kaeleron did, driving me towards becoming stronger but also holding me together when I was weak.
He was my shelter in the storm, my champion even when I didn’t see what he saw in me, and my calm waters when the sea was raging around me.
“Saphira?” Sylvan repeated.
“I just need a moment.” I looked around at the world beyond the waygate, gaze scanning the meadows and then the blossoming trees. “I need to run.”
That urge bolted through me the second I set eyes on the trees that called to me, offering comfort as they had before, back in the Shadow Court when I had first arrived in this land.
I needed to run as a wolf through them.
I needed to feel the wind in my fur and the twigs breaking beneath my flying paws.
As I did in my dreams.
“The guards will escort—”
My head whipped towards him and I snapped emerging fangs at him as I barked, “No guards.”
He looked as if he wanted to remind me that he ruled this court until I came of age, that he had power over me and not the other way around, that my title was just that—a title and nothing more.
But then he dipped his head and said, “Very well, but return to the castle within the hour or I will send guards to find you and drag you back.”
I didn’t wait for him to finish speaking before I had kicked off my boots and was running barefoot for the forest.
I let my feet lead the way as I tried to clear my head, as Kaeleron remained a permanent fixture in it, as stubborn in my mind as he was in real life.
My wolf side prowled beneath my skin, so restless I was sure I would sense Lorien long before he could attack me if he dared to make a move against me.
When I reached the treeline, I glanced back at the castle.
It loomed like great white blades over the city, sparkling in the bright sunlight, so pure and perfect in appearance.
Wretched place. Wretched people. Kaeleron had been right about them.
They were as dark and cruel as the unseelie, but some among them were also as kind as them.
Meiryn would take care of Danica until I returned. She wouldn’t allow anything to happen to her.
I sheathed my dagger at my hip, but couldn’t convince my hand to release it.
I had wanted so badly to go with him, but I needed to be here.
For Danica. For him. Even when everything felt so much harder now.
Our meeting and what I had learned in the fae town had rattled my courage, and my mind whirled with thoughts of what I needed to do, and how quickly I could do it so I could get back to him.
I couldn’t rush. If I did, I would probably slip up and expose myself.
No matter how much I hated it, I was going to have to be here a little longer.
There was so much to do. I needed to train and practice with my magic until I could get Danica to safety without either of us being discovered and killed.
I wasn’t sure how much training I would need if I was going to have to get Danica out of the castle and across the Summer Court to High Vellswater.
The waygate.
I could use the waygate.
I knew how they worked and if I thought hard enough about High Vellswater I was sure it would get us there.
All I had to do was get her out of the castle unseen.
Easier said than done. The guards patrolling it had multiplied recently, and I had seen them in the lower city too, pairs of them posted on street corners or walking down the avenues.
I would need to be able to hold my invisibility for long enough to get out of the castle and from there I might be able to teleport us, but it was risky.
I hadn’t teleported anyone before and my control over it was flaky at the best of times, and the last thing I needed was to lose my grip on the teleport and land us inside a wall or in front of a guard.
Using invisibility would be the safest option.
But it might take weeks before I had enough control over my powers to get Danica to the waygate.
I wouldn’t let that deter me.
I would use the time wisely, splitting it between practicing daily and hunting through the journals in the library for evidence about Kaeleron’s brother and the attack on Belkarthen.
Then when I got Danica to Malachi, I could leave with them.
Nature embraced me as I walked deeper into the forest, the feel of it surrounding me and sinking into my bones tugging at my wolf instincts and that need to run that pounded through me.
Wolves didn’t have much in the way of modesty, but I still checked to make sure I was alone before I stripped off my blouse and trousers, bundled my dagger up inside them and tied them with the belt. I let the shift come over me, and it felt like coming home.
This was me.
I was a wolf.
I shook out my white fur and tilted my head up, ears twitching as I breathed in the forest and felt it in every molecule in my body.
That connection to this land bloomed as I let my animal instincts rise to the fore, dampening my human ones, and the dirt beneath my paws warmed in response, as if Lucia was reaching through the earth to funnel solar magic into my limbs.
I found comfort in that connection, as I always did in my dreams, and as I had back in the Shadow Court.
So strong and beautiful.
So breathtaking as it filled me with light and warmth, and a deep sense of hope that soothed my raw nerves and banished my fears.
I had a plan.
A way of getting Danica out of this court.
I was one step closer to going home.
To Kaeleron.
I picked up the bundle of clothes in my fangs and trotted in the direction I could scent water, picking up a trail before I increased my pace, until my paws were flying over the fallen blossoms and leaf litter.
It felt good to run as a wolf again, to shed all the weight of my fears and sink into my animal instincts, returning to a state of mind where everything seemed more distant and so much simpler.
I still missed Kael.
His absence was a hole in my chest, in that spot where his brand had been.
I ran harder, faster, galloping through the trees, leaping over streams, losing track of the world and my place in it as I followed my instincts, letting the scents and the whispers of nature guide my paws.
Until I reached a part of the forest that felt different.
I trotted to a stop, head tilting as golden motes of light danced in the air, illuminating the pink blossoms that fell like rain from the trees and the flowers nestled in the long grass.
A sensation that the forest had brought me to this place, as if the goddess of this land had wanted me to see the beauty and feel the calm of it, flowed through me, sinking like warmth into my bones.
Dropping my clothes, I let the shift come over me again. I stepped over the bundle, uncaring of the fact I was nude, and breathed deep of the forest, absorbing the power of it that flowed through me.
The sound of water rippling over rocks competed with the sweet song of the birds, filling the forest with so much life that it was almost overwhelming.
I grabbed my clothes and tugged them on, fastening my belt around my waist as I padded through the cool, dewy grass in the direction of the stream I could hear.
It danced over crystalline pebbles and around boulders, the clear water sparkling in the sunlight that filtered through the trees.
I stooped and scooped some into my mouth, quenching my thirst, and then stood again to follow it deeper into the magical heart of this part of the forest.