Chapter 20
CHAPTER 20
Ben
I knew the media frenzy would be overwhelming, but I didn’t anticipate how much. There were cameras everywhere, at all times. I was used to attention. It wasn’t like I was the kind of man who could go to a pub with friends and not expect to be noticed, but I was still able to go out. These days, that seemed nearly impossible. I got Pilar though. I reminded myself of that. And they hadn’t pried too much into my personal life, so that was nice. I knocked on the door again and waited with a sigh. When it opened, I smiled at my ex, Tamara, who was standing there wearing a large t-shirt and shorts.
“Well, if it isn’t the newest member of the royal family.” She opened the door wider. “Should I bow to you?”
“Don’t be silly.” I laughed, walking inside and looking around for a second before hearing little footsteps running full speed toward me. Then, I crouched and opened my arms as my son ran into them. I lifted him and turned as he laughed.
“Daddy, you were supposed to come earlier,” he said as I set him back down.
“I wanted to, but I had some things to do.” I ruffled his curly hair and smiled.
“Stay right here. I want to show you what I made in school.” He ran off.
“Did you look into the football camp I sent you?” I looked at Tamara.
“I did. But, Ben, I have a million things going on right now. I haven’t even properly moved in.” She pointed at the boxes scattered around the living room.
“Tam, it’s been two months.”
“You try juggling moving with a four-year-old and a job.”
“I told you I’d hire people to help you. You’re too stubborn.” I shook my head. “Where’s the American, anyway?”
“The American’s name is Jack,” she said, rolling her eyes with a smile. “And you know very well that he’s in New York for work. He’s moving here at the end of next month.”
“In here?” I raised my eyebrows.
“He’s going to pay rent, don’t worry.”
“Hmm.” I walked around. I’d gotten her this flat when I leased the one upstairs because I wanted to be close to my son. I hadn’t anticipated what would happen if her boyfriend became more serious and actually wanted to move in with her. I guess that answered my question though.
“Ben, we talked about this.” She sighed. “I told you I’d pay for this place, but you insisted.”
“Tam, I don’t care. I really don’t.” I turned to look at her.
Tamara was the closest I’d ever gotten to marriage. She was the relationship nobody knew about. I fucked it up by cheating on her with Kayla and regretted it every single day afterwards—not only because I missed out on my chance to be with a great woman, the mother of my child, but because I hurt her deeply, and she was one of the most caring people I knew. It had been a turbulent time for me, not that it was an excuse for doing what I’d done. Kayla had been there for me my entire life though, before, during, and after Tamara. My brother had just died from an overdose, I was alone in a big city with a million-dollar contract, and I was twenty-three years old. Back then, I’d been sorry I hurt Tamara, but not sorry I did it. I figured there was no way to stay faithful under those circumstances. I had been taught, by every man in my life, that it was okay to not stay faithful. Everything with Tamara was before I’d lived and seen things and met men who were decent and respectful to their significant others. These days, I regretted the hell out of all of it. To lose a woman like Tamara over someone like Kayla was just plain stupid, but if I was completely honest, Kayla sleeping around with my teammates was really what made me finally realize how much I had screwed up. Now, Tamara had Jack, the American, a great man who loved her fiercely. It helped that he was a fan of mine and also adored my son. In the beginning, it took me a while to embrace him, but seeing him with Asher was enough to sell me on the whole thing. So, him paying rent or not paying it was the last thing on my mind. If he was going to move in here with my son, I didn’t need him to pay for anything.
“Jack isn’t going to want a freebie anyway. He’ll want to pay.” She shot me a look as she started to wash dishes.
Asher ran back into the room, waving fistfuls of paper at me. I felt myself smile. I always smiled when around him. The kid made me happier than anyone else in my life.
“Look. I drew this and this.” He showed me the first paper. It was a house with a family. There were four people drawn on the paper.
“Who are they?”
“You, Mommy, me, and Jack!”
“Ah.” I chuckled, looking at Tam, who was watching me closely.
It was as if she half-expected me to flip out about her boyfriend half of the time. I didn’t blame her. I’d been a different person when we were together, though I really hoped to show her that I was much calmer nowadays.
“I really love it.” I cleared my throat and then looked at the rest of the artwork.
“I have to show you something else.” He grabbed the papers from my hand and ran off again.
“He’s non-stop,” I said, shaking my head.
“You’re telling me.” Tamara turned the kitchen sink off and dried her hands. “So, what’s going on with you and Princess Pilar? Is it serious?”
“I think so, but I don’t know yet.”
“You don’t know yet?” She raised an eyebrow. “Do you want it to be serious.”
“I do.” There was no use denying it, but I hadn’t spoken to Pilar about how she felt about it yet.
“Have you told her about Asher?”
“Not yet.”
“You probably should.”
“I will when the time is right. She has a lot on her mind right now.”
“I’m sure she does. What happened to her and her brother was horrible, but you should consider telling her sooner rather than later.”
“I know.” I stood up and walked over to her. “I just don’t want the paparazzi hounding you guys, and they will. The moment they find out about either of you, they won’t leave you alone.”
“They’d leave us alone if you’re honest about us. Besides, we take some photos, sell them to a magazine directly, let the story run its course and be done with it.” She shrugged.
“We agreed.” I paused. “You were the one who told me you didn’t want to be in the spotlight.”
“I don’t, but Ash is older now. I’m tired of playing dress-up every time we go out together. Or saying I’m your sister.” She shot me a look.
“That was one time.”
“One time too many, Ben.” She rolled her eyes and continued organizing things in the kitchen. “Are you scared she’ll like you less if you tell her?”
“No.”
“Are you scared she won’t like Ash?”
“No,” I said vehemently. “Who wouldn’t like him?”
“All I’m saying is, if you’re really serious about her, you’ll tell her. But then again, I thought you were serious about Sophia, and you never told her.”
“Sophia and I were never serious.”
“The media thought so.”
“The media is full of lies. You of all people should know that.”
“Does Pilar know about Kayla?”
“Yes.” It was something I hated to discuss with Tam, of all people. “Kayla approached her while we were in Ibiza and again the day of the accident.”
“Why was Kayla even in Ibiza? You invited her?”
“I had to.”
“I will never understand how someone so smart can do so many stupid things.” She rolled her eyes.
Thankfully, Asher ran back into the living room with some toys, and I busied myself playing with him. After bath time, I went back to my apartment, upstairs, away from the family I should be thrilled to have but had thrown away because of carelessness and selfishness. It was so the opposite of the version of myself I wanted Pilar to know, and I really wasn’t sure I wanted to tell her anything at all.