Chapter 4
Ian
The crisp breeze of the morning air glided between my speckled feathers as I soared above the rolling hills of Brookmere’s lush landscape.
Flying had always been an escape. Not being bound by the confines of one’s own two feet allowed me to observe our world in a way so few ever would.
But as I made my fifth pass over where the border between Brookmere and Mysthaven used to be, the hope I’d been clinging to find Lana dwindled. It suffocated the sense of freedom flying usually provided.
Fates, I’d even be happy to see Kade at this point, but I couldn’t give up hope. It’d only been two days since she left.
She had to come. Had to be safe.
Soaring over the land, the illusion of the sea had disappeared, instead revealing the cracked earth. This new kingdom appeared so different than our own. A clear divide of death and decay between the verdant fields of Brookmere versus the reddish dirt of Mysthaven.
My feathers shook as a shiver tore down my spine. A dark energy simmered in my veins, biding its time, just waiting to be unleashed. It took all my energy to ignore its call.
Slowly, I descended closer to the ground as an ache burned in my chest. It writhed, pulsating slightly each time I drew close to the void to search for Lana and the others.
I must get to her.
I squawked, signaling to my friends on the ground. I’d take one more pass.
Riding the warmer winds of the updraft, I flew until the trees became specks and the moisture trapped in the clouds formed droplets on my feathers as I passed through.
Speed was one of my biggest strengths as a hawk. I could travel hundreds of miles in a single day if I really pushed myself. Fortunately, today I only needed to patrol a ten-mile stretch of this newfound border.
I dug deeper this time, searching not just the miles of land but inside my head as well. I’d spent my time between panicking for Lana’s safety and frantically trying to reach Raya.
Raya, of all people.
I didn’t even know if it was possible for our connection to work for me to call to her.
The last time I saw her, she entered my mind broken and screaming, and a small part of me almost died in fear. Fear for her. For Lana.
Yet there was nothing I could do to help.
Some hours I would have sworn she almost appeared, lingering on the outskirts of my mind. I could feel her presence almost there. So close I swore I might touch her if I wanted to.
Grasping on to that feeling, I tried to clear my mind and call to her once more.
Raya? Are you there?
Silence. Nothing but damn silence. A pain sharpened in my chest, not knowing if her absence meant she hadn’t survived.
I wanted so desperately not to care if she responded to my communication attempts, but it bothered me in a way I didn’t understand. Especially since I didn’t even know if I could get through to her in the first place, or if it only worked one way.
Maybe it was merely my protectiveness for Lana. She couldn’t handle losing another friend, and if there was anything I could do to stop that from happening, I would.
That was all it was.
Besides, I’d had enough of this waiting.
Waiting for news, for Lana, for her.
I screeched, that dark energy pulsing in my chest as I angrily flew straight down toward the ground, barreling into a nosedive at breakneck speed. My wings lay tucked tight to my side as I spiraled closer to the ground.
I didn’t slow down, daring to get as close to the lush blades of grass as possible.
“Ian Stronholm, you stop that this instant,” Kalliah screamed as I finally pulled out of my dive.
Shifting back into my Fae form, I somersaulted my way across the open field before coming to a stop.
Sprawled out on the ground, I lay panting, catching my breath as the adrenaline coursing through me tried to slow down.
I had to pick several sticks out of my tunic as they poked my side from my fall.
Kalliah stomped her way toward me. “You could have killed yourself,” she seethed. “We have enough to worry about without you trying to prove”—Kalliah waved her hands in the air—“whatever that was.”
Pushing myself up on my elbows, I glared at her.
“Aren’t you tired of waiting to see if Lana is all right?
If she’s alive?” I stood and brushed the dirt off my pants.
“The world literally exploded. The barrier to Mysthaven is gone, and what? We are just sitting here, hoping she’ll show up?
” I ran a hand through my hair, worry building into a festering anger threatening to drive me mad.
“Something happened. We have to find them.”
Taking out my frustrations on Kalliah wouldn’t do any of us good. I closed my eyes and inhaled. “I won’t keep waiting.”
Turning abruptly, I stormed back toward the Knotted Willow where Corbin stood, leaning against the front door.
“Do not walk away from me,” Kalliah shouted.
Immediately, Corbin pushed off the door, coming toward us.
“We cannot just go running off into this unknown land and hope that we find her.” Kalliah jogged to keep up with my pace, reaching out and grabbing my arm to stop me. “We know nothing about Mysthaven, Ian. We have to stay here. This is where she will come.”
“What’s going on over here?” Corbin folded his arms across his chest. His brows furrowed, as his gaze shifted between Kalliah and me.
Kalliah positioned herself between us and took a deep breath before continuing. “Ian wants to go flying off into the unknown to try to find Lana.” Her eyes narrowed in my direction. “Even though he’s a brilliant captain who knows that is the least helpful thing to do right now.”
Logically, I knew she was right. Why, then, did this entire thing feel so wrong?
“You know we can’t do that.” Corbin sighed heavily. “I know you’re worried. I am too. But what good are we to her if we don’t follow the instructions she left for us? She is our queen, and she gave us an order.”
My blood boiled as uncontrolled rage welled deep in my belly. We’d always been a team, but a clear divide in ideology started to form.
“She needs us.” I rammed my finger into Corbin’s chest, articulating each word.
Corbin grimaced. “She needs us to trust her.”
I shoved him, unable to grasp my sanity. A small part of me knew I was spiraling. I wasn’t fully myself, slowly losing my grip on reality and fighting bouts of rage.
“Ian.” Kalliah gasped. “What are you doing?”
She moved to stand next to Corbin, mimicking his stance. “We stick to the plan. We get Lan an army and wait for her to return. That is what you can do. We’ve never let her down before and I sure as Fates am not going to start now.”
My whole body twitched, darkness clouded my vision.
Hate, vile and bitter, swelled up in my throat, burning like fire.
“Who are you to say what I can and cannot do? You’re a lady’s maid, Kalliah.
” Striding forward, I stood directly in front of her.
“Who died and made you queen?” I exploded in a fury unlike anything I’d ever felt before.
Kalliah’s jaw dropped, and she took a step back in shock.
“You dare speak of the fallen like that again, and you won’t live to tell the tale, Ian Stronholm.” Corbin flicked out his wrist, and thorny vines shot out from the ground, separating me from them.
He grabbed Kalliah’s hand, turning back toward the Knotted Willow, and they walked away, leaving his thorny barrier standing between us.
Corbin had never spoken to me that way before. In fact, he’d never spoken to anyone that way before. The burst of magic and sternness from him shattered the anger latched onto me, loosening it to a place where I could wrestle it back into submission.
What the hell had I just done? And said?
Shaking my head, I tried to rid myself of this inexplicable feeling of doom. What was happening to me?
“Kalliah, wait,” I shouted, dodging around the vines as a few thorns ripped at my pants, scratching my legs when I tore them free. “Wait.”
She’d taken three more paces before she finally faced me, a tear slipping down her cheek.
“I’m sorry.” I grasped her hand, bringing it to my chest. “I’m so sorry.”
She pulled her hand from my hold.
“I don’t know what came over me,” I continued. “Something happened to me when I was in the dungeons with Andras.” I swallowed, then whispered, “Anger or hate is just festering inside of me, and I don’t know how to stop it.”
Kalliah murmured something to Corbin, and he took off inside the inn without sparing me another glance.
“I know you’ve been hurt. Tortured. Nothing will make that okay,” she said.
“I’m here, Ian. If and when you’re ready to talk, I am always here.
But don’t forget, I want my best friend back too.
I want to storm Ellevail and ensure Leif is alive and breathing.
” Her voice trembled as she wrapped her arms around herself.
“If you ever speak to me that way again—” She choked on her words.
She didn’t need to say anything else. We had been friends long enough for the rest of that sentence to linger unspoken between us with complete understanding.
We wouldn’t survive this if I let myself act this way, if I hurt those around me because I was hurting.
At least I hoped that was all this was.
I reached out my hand. An offering.
Hesitantly, she intertwined her fingers with mine and squeezed. “We can’t turn on each other.”
I kissed her head. “Never again.”
Together we walked in silence into the inn.
An hour later, I held two trays of food in my hands, climbing the stairs to Vivienne’s room.
She had disappeared soon after the earthquake, only to return with a woman wearing the same wild look in her eyes.
Ever since, the two had been locked away together, refusing to leave Vivienne’s quarters.
Fates only knew what was going on there.
There were endless questions we wanted to ask, but had not yet been afforded an opportunity to speak with them. Kalliah attempted to eavesdrop on their conversation last night, but the doorway had been magicked to block the sound from within.
I had questions of my own that went unanswered. Like where had Vivienne gone? Who was the stranger now holing up with us? Did the woman know Lana?
The only way we knew the two were even remotely okay was because their food trays returned empty after each meal. Lana already felt so much guilt for how she’d treated Vivienne throughout the years, she would want us to give her the space to be at peace.
So none of us pushed, allowing them the time they apparently needed.
Gently knocking on their door, I murmured, “Lunch is here.” I waited only a moment before bending over to leave the trays of cheese, bread, and jam on the floor like we had each been doing the past few mealtimes.
Just as I regained my full height, Vivienne’s door flung open, and she grabbed my arm. “Ian.”
Startled, I flinched but didn’t jump back, forcing myself to remain calm. “Vivienne, are you okay? Can I get you something?”
“Have you not heeded the words of your queens?” Her once wild, wiry hair lay smooth in ringlets against her shoulders. The color in her cheeks had returned, her eyes clear of that eerie white usually present when she received some sort of vision. She looked almost sane.
Staring into her eyes, I searched for a hint of context, any sort of clue as to what she could be implying. “Of course I obey my queen, Vivienne. I—”
She released my arm and whipped her finger in front of my face, stopping me. “Not one but two queens gave you a command, Captain. You have a critical role to play in this war. Or have you forgotten so quickly of the vows you made to your queens?”
I almost didn’t know what to say. Vivienne never spoke so bluntly or called me out for my actions. How she even knew of any vows I’d made, I’d never know—probably didn’t want to know. That was two people in one day putting me in my place.
Standing straighter, I replied, “I always honor my vows.”
Vivienne stared at me. Not backing down, finger still raised. She sighed and moved to cup my cheek, nodding like she wanted me to say something else.
I watched her, seeing her take in parts of me that I wasn’t sure I knew I was sharing. Until finally, taking a deep breath, I whispered what I had been too afraid to say out loud these last few days. “I’m afraid I’ve lost her.”
Vivienne shifted on her feet as the white-haired woman approached behind her, laying a hand on her shoulder.
Tilting her chin, Vivienne looked me in the eyes.
“The only thing worthy of your fear is never finding out what could be. You must do your part and trust the Fates if we hope to survive. Be the leader your father died knowing you’d be.
Be the captain not one, but two queens entrusted with their lives. ” She patted my cheek once.
“I can’t leave without knowing she’s safe,” I confessed.
Vivienne smiled at me. “Be the man Lana chose as her closest confidant and friend. The one stronger than any darkness. Let her return to the army she commanded you to obtain.”
Without another word, she somehow managed to move the trays in the room and close the door before I could even blink.
Vivienne was right. I needed to be the man my father raised me to be. The man I’d vowed to be for Queen Roxana. The man Lana, my best friend, my queen, needed me to be.
Determined and with a newfound sense of purpose, I practically ran down the stairs and back into the dining area of the inn, where I had last seen my friends.
Kalliah and Corbin sat at a small wooden table, eating their rabbit stew in silence. Their bodies hunched and tired. The toll of the unknown weighing heavy on their shoulders. We wouldn’t sit around any longer. We couldn’t.
“We move out tomorrow, Corbin,” I said. “Tomorrow we begin building an army for our queen.”