Chapter 9 Lana #2
Nobility in Ellevail would scoff and look down on most of the Fae here as unimportant.
Yet I knew better. These were the people our kingdom relied on.
The Fae allowing our kingdom to flourish.
I’d always known it, feeling more comfortable in the lesser Fae parts of Ellevail than among nobility.
All this did was solidify that knowledge.
I sighed. “They’re considered lesser Fae, yet they’re so much greater than the nobles flicking their wrists around, showing off parlor tricks.”
Corbin turned, standing in front of me, and placed his hands on my shoulders. “You see them. You always have.”
I met my friend’s determined gaze as he continued.
“You ran through the palace as a princess, greeting the lesser Fae by name. Those living in the lower parts of Ellevail know you better than most of the nobles combined. When you take your place on the throne, you will change everything. These people will be seen because of you.”
I smiled. “Thank you for reminding me. For always saying what I need to hear.”
He nodded once and moved to stand next to me again as we watched our people.
When we won this war, things would change. The division and insinuation that these Fae were lesser in any way with all that they accomplished would cease. We would live as one people.
While I should have been feeling scared or nervous because of everything to come, I couldn’t help but feel such an overwhelming sense of calm. I was honored so many had answered my request. I would not let them down.
Two children ran around a small patch of flowers at the base of a tree by the forest’s edge.
“How do you think my garden is holding up?” I asked wistfully.
Corbin glanced over at me as a grin appeared on his face. “I too learned tricks with my magic,” he said. “If the flowers have died or withered, the soil will remember them. It’s a sort of protection spell.”
My jaw dropped. “How?”
He shrugged. “Self-taught.”
I shook my head in amazement. “So all the flowers you’ve created, we can bring them back year after year.”
He nodded. “Yes. Or change them. Whatever you’d like.”
I threw my arms around him, feeling him tense slightly beneath me. He was, after all, the most formal of everyone. But I didn’t care. “You’re amazing, Corbin. Thank you for always being here.”
“There’s nowhere else I’d rather be, my queen.”
I let go, sighing. “When we finish this and get home, I think we should share some of your beautiful creations. I’ve been hoarding your talent all to myself.”
Kalliah bumped into me from behind, surprising both of us with her appearance. “Tommy would love a huge garden outside the pub. Especially having to take care of it after his patrons vomit in it.”
I shoved her right back. “I bet Tommy would adore the shit out of some roses.”
Corbin chuckled beside me. “Make a list of what you want to dream up next, my queen. We’ll have much to do once you return home.”
My smile spread as I allowed myself to dream about what life would be like after all of this.
As I continued to take a moment to admire everything, Jax, Raya, and Storm walked up from behind us.
Raya looked brighter and healthier. She had a noticeable energy about her that had been missing since our escape from Mysthaven.
Her eyes shone, looking clear for the first time since our battle at Mount Legion.
She carried her sword over her shoulder as if ready to enter battle right this moment.
Whatever Cassandra had done clearly helped.
“I have to admit, I’m impressed,” Storm murmured. “Looks like the Hidden Henchman crew came through after all.”
Turning, I smiled. “Brookmere helps their own. Just you wait, we’ll double this in the next few days. I just know it.”
Jax threw his arm around my shoulder. “You know, Queeny, if you need a general for your army, I’ve always thought I’d be an excellent choice.” He waved his hand in front of our faces. “General Jax Wilder. It’s got a nice ring to it, right?”
“Jax, you barely held our operation together while Kade and I were gone,” Storm chided. “You think you can lead a whole army? My friend, think again.”
Jax furrowed his brow. “I would say I did just fine while you were off gallivanting at the marriage trials, which, by the way, I will forever be upset I wasn’t invited to participate in.”
Raya snickered. “Do I really need to remind you about what actually happened when they were gone? You may have succeeded in running routes, establishing a new safe house—”
“A feat of epic proportions, mind you,” Jax jumped in.
“However,” Raya continued, “I seem to remember being the responsible one every damn day. Waking you up every morning, forcing you to train, ensuring you didn’t slip into a sullen fit that we were left behind.”
“You are no fun, Raya.” Jax pouted before returning his attention to me. “How about master sparer? Commander of shifters? Trainer extraordinaire?”
“Speaking of, we do need to start training soon.” Storm crossed his arms. “We need to assess everyone’s skills and place them into battalions. When Ian returns, we can start the assessments.” He turned to face me. “And you need to start training your magic as well.”
Kalliah’s eyes shot wide open as she gasped. “Did you say magic?”
Grinning, the warmth of my magic tingled. “He sure did and, get this—Kade’s my mate.”
Kalliah rested a hand on her hip as she faced me, ignoring everyone else. “I’m listening.”
“The two go hand-in-hand really. When I finally accepted Kade as my mate, my light exploded out of me. I’ve used it a couple of times, but I don’t really have any control over it yet.” I shrugged. “Turns out there was something to the prophecy after all.”
“Fates help us.” Kalliah ran a hand over her face, but then she paused. “So, you’re saying there’s a chance? A chance your new unprecedented magic can get us out of this mess?”
I couldn’t help but chuckle. “I’m saying there’s a chance.”
Storm interrupted our moment, coughing to get our attention. “Look, as fun as this all may be, you can’t afford to have any more outbursts and incinerate us all. You need to be trained by someone who can get your magic under control.”
I sighed, knowing it was true. Unless my emotions ran high, I couldn’t even call on my magic. “But who can do that? I don’t know anyone who has ever had light magic like this, have you?”
“No, we haven’t, but light and fire feel like they could be similar.” Storm created a ball of fire in his hand before blowing it out. “I’ll train you for now until we can figure out something else. At the very least, I can teach you the basics of feeling for your magic.”
“Apparently we’re tabling the discussion about my promotion,” Jax huffed.
“Jax, come on. If you were ‘trainer extraordinaire,’ Lana would get injured somehow and Kade and his shadows would literally kill you,” Raya said, waving at Jax to come to her. “Let’s go see if anyone needs help. Or maybe someone wants to spar for fun.”
At the mention of Kade’s name, my heart dropped.
“Come on, Lana.” Storm grabbed my hand and gave it a squeeze before I could even think. “Let’s go train for a bit. It always helps me when I am upset.”
I waved to the others as they dispersed in various directions.
Storm and I walked the few minutes in silence to an empty area just north of the inn.
It was a small space, on the other side of a hill, away from the rest of the Fae bustling in the fields.
No one would see us practicing here, for which I was thankful.
I didn’t need an audience watching me fail at using my magic before we even started this battle.
Storm had me sit crossed-legged in the swaying grasses, and he did the same. “Let’s start with the basics. Can you feel the well of power in your body? Is there a place it has settled?”
My eyes slid closed, and I reached, anxious to grab on to any bit of magic wanting to make itself known. The only thing I felt inside my chest was an ache in the space connecting me to Kade.
I gritted my teeth, trying again, this time attempting to ignore that cavernous emptiness.
I came up short. Frustrated, I opened my eyes to meet Storm’s gaze.
“No, I feel nothing. Nothing at all.” I rubbed my chest as if it could lessen the pain throbbing inside.
“My magic just happens to show itself when I am overly emotional in some way or if someone is threatened. But I can’t feel it inside of me. ”
Storm reached out and grabbed my hand. “We have been practicing for our entire lives, but your magic appeared only a week ago. It is not surprising you’re struggling.
” He released my hand and lifted his palm in front of his face.
A tiny flame floated above his hand, no larger than a pebble.
“For me, I focus my mind and reach down in my core. Breathing deeply used to help me pinpoint where it settled. Jax says his magic lives in his heart, encompassing all of it. He yanks his power from there. Once you find your ‘well,’ that place it feels like your magic rests, it will be easier to access.”
Storm’s gentle and patient approach to talking me through how to access my magic was in stark contrast to the way Andras tried to torture it out of me. What would have happened if he had actually succeeded?
“While your magic is beautiful, Lana, it would be normal to have some negative emotions tied to it,” Storm whispered.
I swallowed. “I was just thinking about Andras.”
Storm stayed quiet, allowing me space to process.
“If I’d been able to bring it up back then, would Ian have been spared? Would we have had an easier childhood, free of the things that haunt us both now? He became a target for Andras because of my deficiency.”
“Stop,” Storm said firmly. “You are not, and were never, deficient. Fate determined when your light would show. Your magic pouring out of you in that moment saved us all. As for Ian, I promise you he wouldn’t change a thing about you or your past because none of it was your fault.”
My lip trembled at his words. I didn’t realize how much resentment I had for my magic. There hadn’t been time to really process it thoroughly.
“Our magic is a part of us. I wish we had the luxury of time to let you work through your feelings about it, but we don’t. Only you can come to terms with that and build the connection to your light.”
Storm was right. Holding on to anger over my repressed magic did no one any good.
In fact, it gave Andras the power back that I’d worked so hard to take away from him.
I wouldn’t go back to that place of helplessness.
Too much time had passed. Too much was dependent on me learning to harness this power now that I had it.
“Close your eyes again. This time, start with your mind. Clear your thoughts so we can invite your magic to simply be here with you. Just be calm.”
I opened one eye and shot him a look.
Storm rolled his eyes. “Just try it, okay?”
I wasn’t good at calm, but I would try.
Storm continued, speaking softly. “Okay, after you’ve cleared your mind, I want you to relax every part of your body, limb by limb. Start with your toes, up your legs, and so forth. Notice how each part of you feels. Does any area feel different?”
Breathing in and out, I tried Storm’s method, but with my guard down and logic slipping away, every part of me demanded I run toward Mysthaven. All my mind could think of was Kade.
The part of me that felt different was the ache in my chest where my tether to him lay quiet.
Every moment of every day that we had been apart, my soul longed to be near him.
Even for a second, just to ensure he was all right.
It hurt so much, I had to physically restrain myself from leaving.
Digging my nails into my thighs, I forced the pain to ground me here. My head dropped.
“I miss him so much.” A tear rolled down my cheek and I let it fall onto the leather of my boot. The droplet stuck to the end of my woven lace before falling onto the ground. “What if he’s not okay? What if he can’t be saved?”
Storm reached over and pulled me into a hug as the tears flowed faster and harder. “I know, Lana. I miss him too.”
“I feel like I should be able to harness this ache, this anger at what’s happening to him, and instead I’m floundering. What use am I if I just sit here sad?”
“You aren’t sitting here floundering. You’re demanding answers from the crazy seer sisters.” He smiled. “You’re softening William to the hordes of Fae coming in to train. You’re moving forward each day. But that doesn’t mean you stop needing Kade.”
“When did you get so wise?” I raised an eyebrow at him.
“If Kade knew you were suffering on your own and I didn’t do everything to help, he’d have my head. You know that, right?” Storm chuckled dryly. “Besides, you also mean something to me, Lana. You forget you’ll be my queen too. And my family.”
I couldn’t form words at his declaration.
So instead, we sat there silently, and Storm held me as I wept.
For the first time I truly had the chance to let all of my emotions out.
Too much had happened in such a short period of time.
It would take me years to work through the trauma of the last few months, but letting myself grieve for a minute helped.
Eventually, I pulled away, and when Storm wiped the last remaining tear from my face, I felt lighter.
“If anyone can save him, it’ll be you,” Storm reassured.
I nodded, sitting up straight again. “Let’s try to coax my magic out one more time. That way I can kick Kade’s ass when we see him next.”