Chapter 17
Ian
As soon as we returned to camp, the four of us spent an hour discussing whether we should try to use the dagger—Apollo—to rid the darkness from Kade and me here or back at the inn.
There was something to be said for trying this crazy experiment away from the others in case something terrible happened. Kade’s biggest concern was a valid one: What if the darkness tried to fight back?
What if I tried to fight back against Lana and hurt her?
No. I wouldn’t think about what could happen if this seemingly haphazard plan went to absolute shit. If Queen Evelyn said it would work, I had to hold on to the hope that it would.
I would be lying if I said there wasn’t a small part of me that worried what my life would look like if I had to live with the darkness forever. What kind of life would that leave me?
I shuddered as soon as the thought entered my mind. Queen Evelyn made it clear no darkness could remain if we wanted to defeat Thames. The only options were remove the darkness, or have no life at all.
Jax stood leaning against a tree in the clearing, observing and ready to shift if necessary.
Lana took a step toward me, the white dagger in hand. She trembled ever so slightly as she approached. “Are you ready?”
Tilting my head to the side, I placed my hands on my hips. “Normally, I’m the one taking care of you, not the other way around. Perhaps Kade should be the one to do it. We know he wants to after all.”
Lana gave me an incredulous look. “Well, he doesn’t have light magic, so you’re stuck with me.”
All I could do was sigh in response. There was no talking this stubborn queen out of anything she wanted to do, especially if she thought it would help me. I wouldn’t let this darkness flare inside of me and lash out at her. “Come on, let’s get this over with.”
“Good luck, sucker!” Jax called out from the sidelines. “You know, I was just starting to like you too. Such a shame.”
Lana glared at him. “Careful, Jax, I might just call in a strox or two for a panther snack if you don’t zip it.”
Jax’s eyes widened for a moment in feigned shock before playfully growling and swiping a panther paw in the air in a mock attack.
Lana rolled her eyes. “Moving on. Shall we?” She reached her hand out to mine.
“Ian, just in case this doesn’t work, I need you to know it changes nothing.
You are my best friend. You have been my best friend since we were children, and no amount of darkness running through your veins will ever change that.
I love you.” She squeezed my hand and smiled at me reassuringly. “But I’m confident it will work.”
“I love you too, Lan.” I wrapped her in a hug and held her for a moment longer than usual. Anticipation collided with fear at whatever would happen next. I closed my eyes, inhaling slowly before squeezing her once and letting go. “Do your worst, Your Majesty.”
Kade moved to stand behind me, his shadows pooled at his feet, ready to act if needed. With our differences set aside, we already made a pact that it would be up to him to protect Lana no matter what in case this experiment went horribly wrong.
I took off my shirt and turned to my side as the unhealed scars of my torture were exposed to the woman closest to me.
Lana swallowed uncomfortably, and I swore I heard a low whistle from Jax.
Rolling my shoulders, I tried to ignore their reactions.
I couldn’t look Lan in the eye right now though, or the wall I erected during my time in Brookmere’s dungeons might break.
“I know we talked about my arm or leg or something.” I cleared my throat and shrugged. “But I don’t know, something about where he infected me seems like it might work better.”
Lana warily took a step closer and placed her hand on my chest. “I will kill him for what he did to you.” She gently touched the scars, saving the biggest for last.
I swallowed a lump in my throat at Lana’s inspection. “It’s no more than what he did to you,” I said softly.
She looked up at me, shaking her head. She sniffed, eyes misting.
“I’m okay,” I reassured her. Part of me didn’t know if that was true.
The time in the dungeons haunted my dreams still.
I’d had my own nightmares from our time as kids with Andras, but now, they were accompanied by my most recent torture.
Though I’d never admit that to Lan. She had weathered so much torture as a child herself.
“We’ve got this,” she said. “Here we go.”
I nodded, picking up on Kade breathing heavily behind me. I wondered if he was as worried as I was about all of this, or if his concern was merely for Lana.
“Three, two,” Lana counted, and before she got to one, she made the tiniest cut on my side, not even big enough to draw a drop of blood.
I held my breath as we waited.
Nothing happened. No release of a magical dark mist, no cry in agony, nothing. Kade just stared at me blankly. My heart dropped.
“So much for what ghost lady said,” Jax quipped.
Lana whipped her head around so fast and stormed over to him.
“Wait.” Jax held up his hands in front of her. “I’ll give you one hit. Just not to my gorgeous face.”
She smacked him on the side of his head as he laughed.
Returning my attention to Lana, who had huffed her way back in front of me, I looked her straight in the eye. “You are going to have to cut me more than that, it seems, if this is going to work.”
She hesitated for a moment. “I just don’t want to hurt you any more than you already have been.”
Her pain shone in her eyes. I knew I would have a hard time doing the same to her, if the roles were reversed.
“Lana, you could never hurt me. Nothing you could do would ever hurt me. I want you to do this—no, I need you to do this. This is not torture. You are not Andras.” I cupped her cheeks, tilting her head so she had to look at me. “This is saving my life.”
Kade chimed in from behind, “Lana, you can do this. It’s just a cut. Even if it doesn’t get rid of the darkness, he will heal before we’ve even made it back to the inn.”
Lana straightened her body and gripped the dagger tighter in her hand. She closed her eyes and whispered something inaudible before opening them again, determination etched into her brows.
This time when she placed Apollo against my skin, I looked down and a soft glow of light emitted from her fingertips. The blade seemed to hum as she sliced into my scar, deeper this time, until blood flowed freely down my side.
I inhaled, surprised as a dark mist left my body in coiled strands. I felt a weight dragging uncomfortably through my body from my extremities as it cascaded through me and out of the cut on my side.
Gasps echoed around me as Kade’s shadows swirled at my feet, waiting to pounce. My head tilted back, and I let the sun’s rays warm my face.
I fell to my knees as tendrils smoked from my side, slowing.
Freedom.
I immediately felt lighter, happier. The evil plaguing my body was gone. I knew all the darkness was out of me just from the way I felt in complete control of myself again. The lingering anger and rage diffused, gone with the evil it entered with.
I leaned forward on my hands, breathing through the relief, as I realized how much the darkness had consumed me. How exhausting fighting this internal battle had been.
Even Kade’s shadows seemed to be happy with the outcome as they swirled between my legs before returning to Kade.
“Ian?” Lana whispered, kneeling down beside me.
I grinned at her before jumping to pick her up and twirling her around. “You’ve done it. I’m free. Lan, it’s gone.”
Her face beamed, radiating pure joy. “I can’t believe it worked. Oh, Ian. I am so happy for you.” She returned the dagger to its sheath and proceeded to dance around the clearing, reveling in the achievement. “We can save everyone. No one forced to turn has to endure it anymore.”
The joy in this moment was endless. “Well, you live to see another day,” Jax chuckled. “Guess we’ll have to see who the better shifter is after all.”
Even through his teasing, I knew it came from a good place. Jax wasn’t mean-spirited, he just didn’t like to take life too seriously unless he had to. He’d make a wonderful addition to the palace if he stuck around when all this came to an end.
Lana returned from her celebratory dance, and the excitement in her eyes made me feel like we were unstoppable. We could do anything together, just as we’d always done.
The cut on my side had already healed as I put my shirt back on, covering the rest of my scars.
“Kade, come on, let me save you too,” Lana ordered, beckoning him over. “If it worked for Ian, it will work for you.” She grabbed the side of his tunic and tried to untuck it from his pants.
“Whoa, Lana.” Kade took a step back. “Save that for when we’re in private.” He bopped his finger on the tip of her nose.
“I’m going to vomit,” Jax muttered under his breath.
“Besides, you’ll never be able to reach this over my head anyway.” Kade winked at Lana before discarding his shirt off to the side.
I moved to stand behind Kade, just like he had done for me. Although, I at least was much more confident that nothing would go wrong now, since it had been successful already.
Lana wasted no time and removed Apollo from its sheath once more, gripping it tightly. Her hand trembled as she looked from it back to Kade. His gaze never strayed from her, his face softening the longer he stared. He brought a hand up to her arm.
“Are you ready?” she asked him. The slight tremor in her voice was impossible to miss.
Kade smiled at her. “If anything could rid this darkness from me, it was always going to be you.”
Lana blew out a steadier breath this time, nodding at his words. She looked down at the dagger and the same soft glow of light filled her palm. She sliced into Kade’s side, and he didn’t even flinch.
We watched, but this time, no inky black mist left his body.