Chapter 25
Ian
Istared at the bloody blade in my hands.
They trembled as I clutched Corbin’s sword and my eyes welled with tears.
Fuck.
This was my first moment alone since his death. I hated that I’d never see him again. I sucked in a sharp breath that felt more like a dagger to the chest than a breath of air.
I turned the weapon over in my palm. I’d gifted it to him years ago, when we first agreed to be a part of the Hidden Henchman. The fact that he still fought with it to this day filled me with a profound sense of admiration, yet cracked my heart in two at the same time.
Corbin had been the first one on board with the Hidden Henchman.
I watched him for months and walked away each time in awe of his loyalty to the crown.
Where some gossiped, Corbin didn’t just ignore the comments, he put people in their place for speaking ill of the royal family.
He spoke highly of the king and queen, and especially of Lana.
He’d seen right away her love for her people.
I’d trained him first, befriending him to get to know him, and he never wavered. Not once. Corbin was always himself. There were never masks or fake niceties to contend with. What he portrayed to the world was truly who he was.
And Casimir had snuffed him out.
I winced as a wave of pain and regret clawed at me. Had I ever expressed how much he meant to me? How grateful I was to him for his friendship and all that he did for us?
The blade fell from my hands, clattering against the marble floor. I rubbed the heels of my palms against my eyes, leaning forward as I let go of the emotions desperate to be free and grieved my friend.
The door to my chambers clicked open and closed quietly. I didn’t look up or even try to gather myself.
As the footsteps shuffled closer, this newly formed bond inside of me tightened.
I finally lifted my head, and Raya reached out, placing a hand on my shoulder before she sat next to me.
Her touch calmed the agony in my chest enough so I could breathe again.
I inhaled deeply before wiping my eyes.
“I’m so sorry, Ian,” she whispered. “He was a good man.”
I nodded. “A great man.”
“What can I do?” Raya asked, tentatively running her hand in a circle on my back.
I closed my eyes, simultaneously so grateful for her presence while also wanting to rage. To punch something.
Instead, I clenched my hands into fists. “It should have been me.”
She didn’t say anything, just continued rubbing slow, reassuring circles on me.
“I should have kept up with Lana. I should have been the one who got to Casimir first.”
“So he could have stabbed you instead?” Raya asked plainly.
“No, but maybe I would have caught the movement faster, or moved out of the way more quickly—”
“Was Corbin a poor fighter?”
I looked over at her, my brows furrowing at the question. “No, he was better than half the guards, but I’m the one who should have been leading. I’m the captain and he’s dead because of me.” My body slid to the ground and my head hung low.
Raya shifted to the floor and kneeled in front of me, taking my hands in hers.
“He is dead because of Casimir. Corbin was a strong fighter—you’re the one who trained him.
Fates, I saw him through your eyes during your escape from the dungeon.
If it had been you chasing after Casimir, you would be dead instead.
He died a warrior’s death. Do not let your guilt take away from his valor. ”
I shook my head. “I wish it was that easy.”
“I understand, Ian,” she said squeezing my hands.
I met her gaze, soft and filled with compassion in a way so unlike anything I’d experienced with her. Or maybe this was who she was when she let her guard down.
“After Dargan used me to betray my friends, after everything that happened, I broke,” she said, her gaze dropping to the floor.
“The guilt consumed me. I couldn’t help but think that if I had been stronger, if I had done something differently, then the people I love wouldn’t have been in danger.
Storm wouldn’t have been tortured.” Her shoulders heaved, and I reached down, tilting her chin up and wiping a tear that had escaped.
“I still struggle. It’s why I’ve been distant with everyone.” She pulled back away from my touch. “I don’t think I deserve these incredible friendships. Much less”—her voice broke as she whispered—“a mate.”
She cleared her throat, meeting my gaze. “My point is, don’t let guilt destroy you. This was not your fault.”
“So it’s okay for you to feel guilty? But no one else?”
She didn’t answer, looking away. I gently caressed her chin, turning her face back to look at me. “I’ll try to forgive myself if you will too.”
“Ian—”
I rubbed my thumb over her beautiful lips.
“Ian, I just came to check on you,” she whispered, leaning away from my touch. “I should go.”
I shook my head. “You asked what you could do, did you not?”
She swallowed and I moved my hand from her chin and down her neck. “It’s okay to tell me if you think we’re going to make this work. That we’re going to stop fighting it and give us a chance. Give in to the mating bond.”
My fingers tingled touching her delicate skin, and she closed her eyes, slowly exhaling a breath. She was perfect.
Fucking perfect.
“You can give me everything, Raya. I don’t know what tomorrow or, Fates, the next hour will bring, but I don’t want to live this life pretending you are not my mate. I want you.”
“Why?” she asked after a quick breath. “I’m not someone who deserves a mate. So why?”
I smiled, continuing to brush my thumb over her soft brown skin, transfixed by the way it erupted with goose bumps.
“You stayed with me in the dungeon.” If she needed an explanation before she agreed to our bond, I’d bare my entire soul.
“You showed me that you could easily pull away, but you stayed. You shielded my mind, and when it came time to escape, you didn't leave. You experienced it all with me. Seeing every thought, all the pain. It didn’t make you run. In my weakest moments, some of the worst of my life, you endured it alongside me before you even knew anything about me.”
“You wanted nothing to do with me when we met in person.” Her lips twitched. I studied her face, unable to hide my smile at the thought that I could continue to study her. Learn everything about her, what each facial expression meant. Forever. She was mine.
“I didn’t know how to handle you seeing me so vulnerable. Lana’s been the only other person who ever saw so much of me before. I hated knowing someone who might be my enemy saw my struggles.”
“And now?” she breathed out, flicking her gaze to my lips, leaning forward just slightly.
My smile spread. “Now?” Cocking an eyebrow, I squeezed my hand at her neck and leaned forward too, lowering my voice. “I will give you every part of me—pain, guilt, joy. You name it and it’s yours, Raya.”
I pulled her forward, crashing my lips into hers as if I needed them to breathe.
She hesitated, stiffening for only a moment, before wrapping her arms around my neck and returning my kiss with an unguarded passion. The bond inside of me, inside of us, connecting and strengthening with every passing moment.
My hand moved to cup the back of her neck, tilting it to expose her enough to trail kisses down her silky skin. She arched into my touch, moaning into my ear. “Ian, are you sure you want to do this now, after everything that happened today?”
Stopping, I returned my gaze directly to hers. “I have never been more sure of anything in my entire life.”
Raya smirked, then tackled me to the ground, straddling me before leaning forward and kissing me once more. She ran her hands through my disheveled hair, and every part of my body tingled at her touch.
I raked my hands up her chest and cupped her breast as she gasped into my mouth. “Show me what you’ve got.”
Grabbing her black tunic, I lifted it up and over her head, longing to see and feel every inch of her. I stared, drinking in how beautiful she looked. “You are perfect.”
A small smirk tilted the side of her lips, and fuck me, I needed her closer.
Without breaking our kiss, I sat up and grabbed her body, picking her up by her ass.
She wrapped her legs around my waist, as I stood, carrying us both.
I returned my mouth to hers, using the momentum of rocking to my feet to swing us backward until we landed against the wall.
A framed map of Ellevail, clattered to the floor from the force.
We stood breathless for a moment, and I savored the feel of her beneath my hands. She trembled briefly before she let go of my waist and stood flat against the wall. Raya moved quickly, ripping my shirt so hard, I lost two buttons in the process of getting it off.
I couldn’t care less.
“Pants, now,” she commanded, as she hastily rid herself of hers.
I grabbed her hands, stopping her as she tried to shimmy her pants down her thighs “My sweet mate, I am in charge here.” I grinned, nipping at her bottom lip once as I brought her hands over her head and against the wall. “So you will do as I say, or you’ll be punished. Do you understand?”
A glimmer of excitement shone in her eye. “Yes, Captain. What are my orders?”
Fates above, I might be in love.
“Stay still, and don’t move.” I gave her a knowing look, and she nodded and left her hands resting above her head. “Good girl.”
A soft whimper escaped her lips. My cock hardened at the delicious sound.
Sliding my hands slowly, I trailed down her arms, over her breasts, and down her stomach. I grazed my fingers over almost every inch of her before reaching down her thigh and slowly sliding her pants all the way to the floor.
Raya arched away from the wall, still leaving her hands above her head. I grinned up at her as her eyes flashed with heavy desire. Trailing kisses up her legs, I took my time rising to my knees.
“Spread your legs,” I commanded as I positioned myself closer.
She obeyed, opening herself up to me. “Yes, Captain.”
The time for soft and delicate would be saved for another day. This moment was desperate and wanting. I couldn’t wait any longer.
The first taste of her sent shivers down my spine. It was intoxicating, and I wanted to get drunk off her. I lapped against her with long, smooth strokes of my tongue.
“More,” Raya panted.
I grabbed her leg, throwing it over my shoulder and positioning myself further and deeper within her. She was so wet for me, so perfect with the way her hips moved against my mouth, and I loved every fucking second of it.
“Is this all for me?” I asked, looking up at her.
She stared at me, squirming and breathing heavily. “Yes,” she said in a breathy exhale. “Fates, yes.”
I reached two fingers up toward her lips. “Suck.”
Her mouth parted and she moaned as she ran her tongue over my fingers.
After a moment, I pulled them back, moving them to her entrance. “So wet, so perfect. You’re mine, aren’t you, Raya.”
Before she could respond, I pushed both fingers inside of her. As much as I wanted this hard and fast, foreplay was my favorite part. After the tension between us from her fighting this bond, watching her squirm and writhe until she begged seemed a fitting way to spend my time.
Raya gasped. I looked up to watch her, and she began massaging her breasts, flicking her nipples as my fingers began a steady rhythm inside of her. She knew what she wanted and wasn’t shy about taking her pleasure. Fuck, she was a sight to behold.
The taste and feel of her all at the same time was exquisite. I added a third finger, slowly easing into her as she cursed and bucked against my mouth.
“That’s it. Come for me, Raya.”
I could feel the tension inside of her, eager to be released. With a few more flicks of my tongue on her clit and my fingers pumping inside of her, she screamed my name.
My cock nearly exploded out of my pants, it was so damn hard. I’d enjoyed myself plenty of times before this, but nothing had come close to turning me on as much as tasting Raya and watching her come undone.
“Good fucking girl,” I murmured into her as I stood to kiss her once more. “Do you know how good you taste?”
“Show me.”
Kissing her this time was a sloppy, desperate thing. Her tongue stroking mine sent my head spinning.
“More,” Raya practically begged. “I need you inside of me, Ian.”
Discarding my pants, I stroked myself, ready to feel her come while I was inside of her. She moved forward, reaching for me. “Now, what did I say about not following the rules? Back against the wall.”
She gave a sheepish grin, but the blush coloring her cheeks told me she liked it. She liked being taken care of, and I would make it my life’s mission to care for her. “Are you going to punish me now, Captain?”
“You did bring your hands down, sweetheart.” I licked my lips watching her eyes darken. “Turn around.”
Her eyebrow raised, but she followed my command. I grabbed her ass, massaging it, before spanking her once. Moaning into the wall, she stuck her butt out for easier access, “Again.”
“Shh,” I said while I happily obliged.
The head of my cock rubbed against her entrance, absolutely dripping with desire, and I coated it, readying myself.
I leaned forward, biting gently at the side of her neck. “Hold on tight, darling.”
Gently, I inched myself inside of her before pulling out and thrusting until I was deeply seated within her.
Placing my hand against the wall, I set a punishing pace. Her head leaned back against my shoulder, as I breathed in the scent of her, kissing her anywhere I could.
“Harder,” she moaned.
I chuckled, running one hand over her hips and up to play with her nipple. “Getting greedy now, are we?”
“If this is what this feels like with you, I will be begging for the rest of our lives for more.”
I gave her what she asked for, thrusting harder as sweat dripped down my back, and I felt her walls tightening around my cock. This time, she wouldn’t be finishing alone. “Do not come,” I whispered.
She made a sound of protest.
“Do not come, until I tell you to. You’ll wait for me.”
Three more hard, deep thrusts was all it took. “Now, Raya,” I commanded. “Come for me.”
I hurtled us both into oblivion, riding out our orgasms together. I rested my head against the back of her neck. Her damp skin matched my own as we stood there panting.
Slowly, as if sliding out of the best dream of my life, she turned to face me and wrapped her arms around my neck.
She tilted her head up, leaning in, and kissed me softly.
“I could live a thousand years, and this moment will always be my favorite.” She placed her head against my chest as we attempted to regain our composure.
I stroked a hand over her hair and kissed the top of her head. “A thousand years will never be long enough for all I have planned for you.”