Chapter 2 - Hunter
Through my periphery, it's impossible not to notice the way Delilah is munching on that donut, a crumb caught on the corner of her mouth.
While Sean says something to Dominic, my full attention goes to the only one from our friend group who hasn't given me an ounce of attention tonight.
Except when she went to the outside bar to refill her drink. Delilah might have been far from where we'd been standing, but I noticed her stealing a glance back as if she wouldn't be caught.
I’m staring, of course, unable to tear my gaze from her when she's so close, imagining simply touching her golden skin or running my fingers through her smooth, silky, raven-black hair that always looked best cascading across a pillow.
I wonder if Delilah remembers our time together, or if she's avoiding those memories. It's almost as if she's pointedly ignoring me when she thinks I'm looking, treating me as if I'm nobody and nothing to her.
I can't help but feel like that's how she truly feels, especially since I lost the alpha trials in Bloodclaw and have now decided to live out my days as a lone wolf.
Being packless hadn’t been such a bad idea when I thought it meant shedding the woes of my past, dusting off the last remnants of it, and walking away for good. I've made invaluable friendships on my way, and the family I found during black ops is irreplaceable.
No one brought up the loss of the trials or my decision to be a loner. Yet, the way Delilah has been acting since I arrived with Sean and Emily has me feeling like an outsider.
Now that I have the liberty of watching her discreetly as she obliviously eats her sweet treat, I'm ogling her again, ignoring her shunning me as time feels like it's slowing down.
My eyes narrow to sharpen my vision, training on the crumb on the corner of her mouth as her tongue pokes out to gather it.
A stroke of saliva glistens on her lips, beckoning to my inner wolf with such intensity that I almost take a step forward.
The air leaves my lungs as my gaze roams from the lips that ignite a hidden need to the body that sends blood rushing to my core. Hugged by a thin silk dress that whispers over her curves the way my lips should be, awareness grips me and keeps me prisoner.
My eyes flit to the thin streak of gray hair tucked behind her ear—a reminder of how extraordinary she is as a werewolf and witch whose magnificent, mystical powers helped us through many missions in black ops.
My heart swells with the warmth of those memories, and I lose myself in the remembrance of our time together.
Until Sean taps my arm and snaps me out of my daze, out of the memories of Delilah that seem to consume me when I'm not paying attention and staying alert. Tearing my gaze from her, I recall her hostility since I arrived in Portland and sigh as I turn to my friend.
“I think the festivities are coming to an end,” Sean chuckles as he nods toward Nicholas at the bar, who's flirting with a Moonshine she-wolf. “Before he does something he'll regret, we should retire for the night.”
I nod thoughtfully, and Dominic calls his pregnant mate over with a gentle wave of his wrist. It's a strange scene, seeing him be softer and kinder than he'd ever been during our time in black ops.
Even though he'd been the last member to join the squad a year after its formation, he was the toughest cookie to crack, but Cecelia seems to have cracked the code when Dominic pecks her on the lips.
I turn my face away, not out of disgust, but purely out of regret. It's a feeling that still lingers after rejecting Delilah before we retired from black ops, rejecting her claim that we were fated mates, calling the passion we shared “fun”.
I had to minimize it to something so meaningless, so unpleasant, when I rejected her. That was the only way I could let her go, the only way she'd ever let me go.
It's not like I'd be able to protect her if I took on the responsibility of being her mate….
Clearing my throat to stop myself from falling into the clutches of my self-loathing, I look up just as Dominic and Cecelia bid their final goodbyes before they leave. I shove my hands into my pockets, following Sean as he separates from the group to get Nicholas.
“Wolfsbane….” I snicker as I sniff the air around Nicholas. He turns to me with a charming smile, green eyes pulsing with mischief.
“It's a wedding. Tyler can't be the only one having fun,” Nicholas drawls, and Sean and I chuckle as we shake our heads.
“He had the balls to do it,” I say earnestly, sparing a moment of thought for the distant memory of a conversation I once had with Tyler.
He sure had guts to accept his mate bond with Arianna and act on it, since he'd agreed with me that no physical relationship is worth losing a life over.
We all witnessed firsthand what dangers lie outside the boundaries of our packs, and sometimes, those dangers come poking their noses into our territories.
Tyler saw it, too, when a rogue wolf threatened his pack, and the son he hadn’t even known was his own. Yet, he overcame the fear of not being able to protect his mate and claimed her in tonight's ceremony.
I sigh, realizing that my demons are too strong to overcome, even if it means I have to greet Delilah’s cold shoulder every time I glance at her.
She sticks out from the crowd in the red dress that matches her lipstick shade, or maybe I only see her, notice her, because that's what it means to be a fated mate—you only have eyes for them.
Rejecting the mate bond is what allows me to tear my eyes from her again, reluctantly, but with the recognition that Nicholas is a friend in need, and he deserves my unwavering attention right now.
Before he does something he'll regret later.
It wouldn’t be the first time.
“Grab the left,” I tell Sean as I grab Nicholas's right arm to straighten his legs. Sean does the same, draping Nicholas's left arm over his shoulders, and we both carry him out toward the guesthouses on the outskirts of town.
“It's…not…fair…” Nicholas slurs as we drag him toward our designated thatched-roof hut. The girls, Emily and Delilah, are entering their guesthouse, and I catch Delilah's brief glance my way before she disappears into the hut.
“Yeah,” I concede as I pat his chest. “It's not fair, buddy.”
“None of it is…” he pouts as we drag him to the first room and lay him on the bed. I shake my head at him as Sean throws a thin flannel blanket over his legs, but I can't be upset with him.
I know exactly how it feels when life seems unfair.
It's unfair that I had to let Delilah go just to keep her safe.
It's unfair that she hates me for it now, as if she can't bear to look at me. Like I'm a disappointment. A failure. It's humiliating, and I feel my pulse ignite with the anger of things left unsaid between us.
She's made it abundantly clear that what we shared during black ops no longer matters to her. I shouldn't be angry with her, because I had my reasons, good reasons, to reject her.
But my inner wolf is stirring.
My inner wolf doesn't have a moral compass strong enough to stop me from going back outside. It's a beast, a primal creature who knows only hunger.
Hunger for fresh meat.
Hunger for the bare flesh of its mate.
“Stop!” I growl under my breath, chastising myself as I mentally reel in my inner wolf. The uncontrolled outburst of rage and desperate need took me as far as the guesthouse Delilah is staying in with Emily, and I catch myself just as I’m about to burst through the door.
Taking a deep breath, my ears ring with the sound of Sean's distant voice calling out to me. As the hot flash of emotion subsides with every breath, I hear my name.
“What are you doing?” Sean asks with a frown as he hangs by the door of our guesthouse.
“I, erm—” I turn toward him and point to Delilah and Emily's door, walking away as I scratch my head. “I was just checking if the girls were alright. Habit,” I shrug indifferently, and Sean's expression eases up as he chuckles.
“Missing the old days, huh?” He pats my back as I enter our guesthouse, a nervous half-chuckle dryly leaving my lips.
Sean has no idea.
I was the master of alibis when Delilah and I began sneaking around, maintaining our usual dynamic in the team to keep up appearances and ensure that we didn't complicate things in the squad.
A grueling mission one night led us into each other's arms, but we couldn't risk ruining the strength of the team if they knew we were hooking up.
It would have become messy, but not as messy as what has become of us now.
There's a part of me that wishes she knew why I rejected her, but she wouldn't have accepted my reasoning. I did what I had to do to keep her safe, but now I'm paying the price for it, restless and unable to fall asleep when I know she's only a few meters away from me.
My mind is at war with my inner wolf, who demands that I go to her and stake my claim because it's a birthright, but morally, I don't have any leg to stand on. I rejected her, and her hatred of me is justified.
But seeing her again, after three months that felt like a lifetime had gone by without her in my life, wreaks havoc on the peace I thought I found when I walked away from everything.
Even Delilah.
Groaning in frustration, I leave the bed I'm sleeping in to go outside, not to disrupt our lives in the early hours of the morning, but to run freely in wolf form.
My wolf is about to burst through the seams of my sanity, anyway.
***
Entering the diner, there's a team of staff members at the door, ready to greet us.
It's not because they're eagerly anticipating the tips they'll receive, but because their alpha must have given his instructions.
That's how the Moonshine Pack operates in Portland—trading amongst themselves and running independently, away from the restrictions of the government, much like Bloodclaw.