Chapter 5
Chapter Five
JADE
I try to shake out the nerves, but it feels impossible. It’s like I’m being waterboarded by anxiety as I walk back to my apartment, Haven beside me.
She hums to herself before grabbing my arm and pulling me to a stop. “You look like you’re holding back the biggest shit of your life. Why don’t you tell me what’s going on?”
“Okay, well, no, I’m not, just in case you were worried about the health of my bowels.”
Haven cackles and loops her arm through mine, walking with me. “Thanks for telling me, but I really wasn’t worried about it. Now, tell me what’s going through your head right now because you look like you’re on the verge of losing your mind.”
“It’s not that I’m losing my mind, but more so that I have no clue what to do when I meet this guy. I mean, I thought we were going out for dinner, but now we’re going to coffee, which means that the entire plan I had of how this date was going to go has gone out the window.”
“I don’t think you can plan a date down to every minute detail. Especially when you don’t really know the guy or what the two of you are going to talk about.”
I sigh as we enter my building. “I know, but I feel better thinking that I can. I mean, like you said, I don’t know this guy. I mean, sure, we sext and all that, but sexting is just a bit of fun. He’s actually going to see me in person, and what if I don’t look anything like my pictures?”
Haven wiggles her eyebrows at me as we step off on my floor. “I’ve seen a lot of the pictures you sent him. Now I know that your body is just as hot in person as it is in pictures.”
With a roll of my eyes, I open my door. “You know that I couldn’t handle you.”
“Oh, honey, you’re not my type. You have too many big brother issues.”
I burst out laughing.
No matter how many times we have this back and forth, it never ceases to amuse me.
She’s been my best friend for as long as I can remember, and there’s not a single time she doesn’t figure out something to say to make me feel better.
Haven follows me into the bedroom and drops down onto the bed. “Okay, you’re going to show me all the outfit options, and we’re going to go with the one that says cute, but also willing to get on my knees and suck your dick.”
“Oh, fuck off. That happened once, at a frat party.”
“I’m sure this Jameson guy would be happy if you made that offering to him too.
” Haven smirks and nods to the little black dress hanging on the back of my closet door.
“You should wear that. Dress it down with that pale pink leather jacket and those tights you have with the lines down the back of your legs.”
My eyebrows pull together. “Why the tights?”
“Because they are bend-me-over-and-fuck-me tights, and you need them. I think that might help a lot with how tense you’ve been lately.” Haven purses her lips and props herself up on her forearms. “Have you tried that little rose vibrator I bought you? It’s the best damn one I’ve had.”
“It was fine.” I shrug and grab the dress. “I have other ones I like better, but it got the job done.”
Haven’s mouth drops open. “We need to get you laid immediately. If you think that vibrator was just fine, then your pussy has gone numb, and you need to get out there and have a little fun.”
She rolls onto her stomach, but something rustles beneath her head.
When she pulls out a piece of paper, reading it, before handing it to me, my stomach drops.
Hello, love,
Seems like you’re going out without me tonight. Bad idea, don’t you think?
I hope you liked the pictures I sent you the other day. You looked beautiful with your niece and nephew. I’ve been thinking a lot about the children we would have. However, you going on a date throws a wrench in that plan, don’t you think?
Personally, I wish you would cancel this date, but I understand that you have a few things you may need to get out of your system before we’re together.
I’ll be waiting for you, though.
Xoxo
Swallowing the bile that rises in the back of my throat, I take the note into the bathroom and put it in the sink. Then I grab a match and burn it, needing to see the edges of the paper curl and turn black.
Once the note is nothing but ashes, I wash it down the drain.
For a moment, I can’t do anything other than lean over the counter and try to catch my breath.
It’s like there’s a hand wrapped around my lungs, squeezing tight.
Haven hurries into the room, wrapping her arm around me and pulling me into her. Her hand runs down the back of my hair as I bury my face into her shoulder. “It’s going to be okay. We’re going to get through this together. You just need to breathe.”
“I don’t know what to do. If I tell Aiden, I’m going to lose all the freedom I have, but if I don’t tell him, then I just have to keep dealing with this.”
My breath comes in sharp bursts as I pull away from her and link my hands together behind my head, opening my chest and trying to calm down.
I pace out of the bathroom and across the bedroom floor, turning one way and then the other.
Haven sits on the edge of the bed again.
“You might not want to lose your freedom, but can’t you see that it’s exactly what’s happening right now?
You’re terrified to set foot out of your apartment, and I can’t blame you for that, but it’s not healthy either.
This guy is making you scared to do anything other than sit here and wait for him to scare you again. ”
I pause and look at her. “Maybe he’s just going to give up. I mean, nothing is coming of this relationship he seems to think we have.”
She gives me a flat look. “J, you can’t just sweep this under the rug and pretend that everything is going to be okay. You need to tell Aiden.”
My shoulders slump as I finally draw in a deep breath. “Fine. I’m going to go on this date because I need to show this guy that he can’t control my life, and then I’m going to go talk to Aiden.”
“Good.” Haven gets up and rummages through my closet. “Now, I don’t think the dress is the right move since you’re going to go talk to Aiden after this. You need to be able to kick his ass if he’s not willing to listen to you.”
I laugh and sink down onto the bed, my chest still tight. I don’t think I’m going to be able to relax throughout the date, but I have to try. At least a little.
I deserve a bit of fun before my life comes to a screeching halt.
Haven tosses me a pair of jeans I can move in and a blouse. “Keep that unbuttoned real low and hold it in place with a bit of boob tape. It’s going to show off your killer body and then when you have to hand Aiden’s ass to him, you can button it up so you don’t pop out a tit.”
“You know, I love how concerned you are about the duality of my outfit.” I force a smile but inside, I want to scream.
This isn’t the way my life is supposed to go. I’m supposed to finish business school, then take over some of the family businesses so Skyla can spend more of her time in Vermont with Joshua. And then I don’t know what comes next, but it sure as hell isn’t getting stalked by some psycho.
Haven kneels and digs around in my closet until she finds a pair of boots. “Here. Wear these too. They make your ass look great, and you can stomp in eyeballs with them.”
I laugh and get up, heading for the shower. “I’m going to go get cleaned up. Maybe you should pick the bra and thong I wear just in case your plan to get me laid works.”
“That’s the spirit!”
I shouldn’t be here right now. I should be at Aiden’s house, begging him not to put me on lockdown or kill the security team he’s had following me.
I don’t even know how the hell the stalker has managed to slip through them.
Not that it matters right now.
I’m sitting in the middle of a café, staring at the coffee in front of me, wondering if this is a bad idea.
Actually, I don’t need to wonder. I know it’s a bad idea. I should’ve spent time at home, figuring out what to do before I told Aiden.
A handsome man with sandy blond hair slows down beside the table. I look up at him and smile. He looks at me for a moment longer before continuing on to a table in the corner and sitting down with a woman.
I suck in a sharp breath and blow it out.
Well, that was embarrassing.
Maybe Jameson is going to stand me up.
I was stupid to think that some guy from a chatroom was going to want to meet me. Especially when I’ve been sending my pictures to him constantly.
Nope. I look good in those pictures, and I’m not going to regret it. Not even a little. I’m not going to have this body forever.
I take a sip of my coffee for the first time since I sat down, hoping that it might do something to calm the nerves. The butterflies are tossing and turning in my stomach, but they feel like they’re at war with the constant feeling of being watched.
Except, there’s nobody staring at me. Nobody is paying attention to me or anything I’m doing.
I’m free. I’m a normal person in a city with millions of people. The chances of my stalker knowing where I am are low. It’s a large city. I’ve checked for trackers.
I’ve told myself those things over and over again, but nothing settles my stomach.
If anything, I feel worse. The room starts spinning around me, and there’s this pounding in my head.
Taking another sip of the coffee, I lean back in my seat, looking up at the gold chandeliers hanging over the tables.
The lights on them start to spin in circles before they dance, bouncing across my vision like little balls.
I should cancel the date.
It’s clear I’m not feeling well. I put the back of my hand to my head.
Though it feels warm, I don’t think it’s any worse than it normally is. But something still doesn’t feel right.
As I pull out my phone to send a message to Jameson, the ground slips away from my feet.
There’s a tiny man with a jackhammer in my head. There has to be. It’s the only reason my brain would be pounding against my skull the way it is.
Groaning, I try to sit up, hoping that once I get my eyes open and my ass out of bed, I’ll be able to go on with my day.
Except, when I open my eyes, I’m not in my bedroom. I’m somewhere I’ve never been before, and there’s plastic all over the walls.
And knives on the counter.
I try to scream, but only a muffled sound comes out.
There’s something stuffed deep in my mouth.
I choke, head whipping from one side to the other, but all that surrounds me is plastic.
That’s when I see the wall covered in pictures of me. Hundreds of them spanning nearly a year.
Fuck.
“Oh, good,” a man says as he walks into the room with a copy of Peter Pan in his hand. “Now our date can begin.”
He’s still in the shadows of the room, his face hidden, but a wave of his cologne hits me.
It’s the same smell that’s been lingering around my apartment.
Tears burn in the corners of my eyes as I try to scream again.
This can’t be happening. There’s no way this is happening.
“Calm down, Jade, this is only going to hurt a little bit.”