Cruel Desire (Rosso Mafia #5)

PROLOGUE

My heart races. Somehow I can feel the effect on other parts of my body as I slowly open my room door. I raise the cover of my hoodie over my head and step into the quiet lobby, praying I don't run into anyone.

It's past midnight. Everyone should be asleep, but I'm fully convinced Vito never sleeps. Besides, the estate is always crawling with security.

I walk down the hall, passing several rooms of people who couldn't find out I am sneaking out.

Avoiding looking directly into the security camera, I push the door to the stairway, releasing a deep breath I didn't realize I had been holding.

Taking the elevator means risking notifying the security team.

I don't want to explain where I am going this late at night and, most importantly, who I am meeting. Each step I take down the stairs fills me with anxiety and excitement.

This is so wrong. I should stay away from him — heck, we should stay away from each other — but Finn made it clear he will come to me if I don't show up at Hell's Kitchen, and I want to see him too. I miss him, even though I feel conflicted, even though I have been avoiding him for some while.

My legs ache as I finally reach the lobby floor.

How do I escape Rosso's estate without too many eyes?

My way to freedom is just a few steps away, but two men stand guard, dressed in black suits and laser-focused.

This is why Finn and I can't truly be together.

Our families are enemies, and in mine, betrayal is the one sin that never gets forgiven.

I think of the last time he held my face in his hands, how he said my name like it was something holy and something damning all at once.

How his thumb had traced my jaw like he was memorizing me for a time when he wouldn't be allowed to touch me anymore.

We both knew what we were. We both did it anyway.

Vito would have my head if he ever found out, and Finn's family would put a bullet in him before the sentence finished leaving Vito's mouth. I hate this life and everything that comes with it. I want nothing more than to be free of it, but freedom in a family like mine is close to impossible.

Despite the ordeal, I manage to escape and hail a cab.

"Where to?" the driver asks as I settle into the seat.

"Willow Grace Chapel," I answer, feeling the adrenaline rush in me slowly fade, only to be quickly replaced by something else — Finn.

My feelings are always all over the place when it comes to him.

We have been doing this for a little while now; sneaking around and hiding our relationship.

But how long does this have to continue?

I once thought he would be my ticket to freedom, but that dream seems to be hanging on a thin thread.

I arrive at the chapel after twelve minutes, and my eyes land on the sign that boldly reads Willow Grace Chapel — one of the many properties owned by the Costellos.

I pull down my hood and step inside. I don't know the best way to describe how exactly I feel in this moment; butterflies, aches, or a combination of both, as I stare at the back of his head and watch him gaze at the statue of Mary.

His brown hair is a mess even from where I stand, and his familiar tropical scent fills my nostrils as I walk down the aisle toward him.

"You're here," he says with that rich, deep voice I have missed dearly, but I don't let that sway me.

"You can't just text me saying you're coming to see me out of nowhere," I say, remembering how frightened I had been when I saw his message.

"Out of nowhere?" His voice fills with frustration as he meets my eyes. The usual light in his green eyes is drained. His white shirt is a mess with a few loose buttons, and I feel worried. Finn is always a composed man, but right now, he looks disheveled. Am I the reason he looks this way?

"You know what would happen if Vito found out about us."

"If you had responded to my calls or texts, I wouldn't have had to say that, Gianna — and trust me, I would have shown up to Rosso's estate if you hadn't come."

I run my finger through my long, dark hair, knowing this argument is pointless. "What are we doing, Finn? You're a Costello. I'm a Rosso."

"So?" He says it like it's nothing, searching my eyes to give him a better explanation.

"So!" I scoff, feeling my anger rise. "This isn't going anywhere, whatever this is," I say, waving my hand between us. I don't want it to end, but things are getting out of hand. I am scared for us both, and scared to lose him in a way out of my control.

In quick strides, Finn closes the space between us, and I suddenly forget how to breathe.

My heart races as he searches my eyes. "So, we just forget about all the time we spent together?

" His breath fans my face, and all the tension I feel pools at my core.

I swallow and look away from those intoxicating eyes, only to land on the few loose buttons that reveal his sturdy chest. My breath hitches, and I can tell Finn is only a few seconds from losing control.

"We are a danger to each other, Finn. We can't spend time together anymore," I try to sound more firm, but it comes out as a whisper.

"Why now?" His voice is rough. "Why is it suddenly so urgent?"

I almost don't say it. I shouldn't say it. But the words come out anyway.

"Vito's arranging a marriage for me. With one of the O'Sullivan boys. The Boston Irish." I swallow. "He thinks tying me to them ends the war on a different front. The contracts are already moving. I'll be promised by the end of the month."

Finn goes very still. "Promised," he repeats. "Promised."

"And you came here to tell me?"

"I came here to say goodbye." My voice cracks on the last word, and I hate that it does. "Once it's signed, I can't be near you again. Ever. So if we're going to end this, it has to be tonight."

Finn steps into me. He trails his thumb over my lips, and a shiver runs down my spine. "Vito doesn't have to know. It doesn't have to make sense to anyone… just us." His voice, touch, and smell are doing things to me.

"Finn…" I whisper, and my body decides for me before my head catches up.

Finn's lips crash against mine, and I lean into them.

I want him just as badly as he wants me.

His hands move slowly up my arm to cup my neck as the kiss deepens.

For a moment, I decide to forget everything — no family drama, no Vito, no expectations.

Finn's groans are music to my ears as I bite his bottom lip.

One hand moves to grab my waist, and the other slides slowly to the zipper of my hoodie.

His tongue seeks entry into my mouth, and I open for him with a gasp.

Our tongues fight for dominance as his hand moves from my waist to grab my ass, and I moan as all my senses come alive.

The pool at my core grows wetter, and I want nothing more than to feel his hands on every part of me.

This is wrong, so wrong, for so many reasons. I am supposed to remain untouched until marriage. That is what good mafia princesses do — they wait. And if I lose it to an enemy, that will be the ultimate sin. But part of me wants to give in so badly.

My silent prayer is answered as he pulls down my zipper, revealing the tank top I have on underneath.

I thought I had felt desire before, but when his hand grabs my breast, I moan into his mouth.

The warmth of his lips disappears, and I immediately feel like I am being punished.

His eyes are filled with want for me, eliciting a different type of hunger from me.

His thumb traces my lips as he squeezes my breast harder.

"This is the last time you ignore me, Gianna," he whispers, his coarse voice sounding like a command to my body.

Words evade me, but my answer is clear to him when my lips find his this time.

One minute we are making out in front of Mary's statue; the next, I am being guided up the narrow stairwell into the tiny apartment above.

"Are you sure no one's coming?" I ask breathlessly as he pushes the creaking door open to the bare-bones room meant for preachers in residence.

"No one is coming. The only worship happening now is me bowing down to you."

My body vibrates with the weight of his words. Our lips meet again, crashing desperately against each other. Finn takes off my hoodie, and our lips remain glued as my back hits the small bed.

"You taste like heaven," he murmurs against my lips.

I shiver, my body responding to every touch, every word.

I run my hands along his shoulders, tugging at his shirt.

Finn helps me, pulling it over his head and revealing the chiseled muscles beneath.

My hands explore him, tracing the lines of his chest and abdomen.

Finn groans softly, capturing my lips again as his hands move to my jeans.

This feels like freedom. Maybe this will be what finally wrenches me free from the prison that is my family.

"I want you, but are you okay with this?" He knows I am a virgin and what this moment means to me. My breathing comes out ragged as I manage to speak.

"Fuck me."

That is all it takes for him to lose total control. He unbuttons my pants with practiced ease, sliding them down my legs along with my underwear. I kick them off, leaving myself completely bare before him. Finn pulls back just enough to take me in, his eyes dark with desire.

"I'm going to make you mine," he declares.

The words land somewhere deep, somewhere I have been keeping locked.

I look up at him and he is already looking at me, green eyes dark and steady, and for a second there is no Rosso, no Costello, no war.

Just him. Just me. Just the terrifying, stupid, beautiful truth that I am about to give him something I have never given anyone, and I want to.

"I'm already yours," I whisper, and I barely recognize my own voice.

Finn exhales against my mouth like I have just broken something in him.

Then he pushes into me, slow and full, and a part of him fuses with me as his shaft slides into my already dripping core.

I feel a sharp pain, but what follows is pure bliss.

A feeling I can't put into words. He feels right inside me as he moves gently at first, allowing my insides to adapt to his size.

"Are you okay?" he whispers into my ear, and I nod, relishing the feeling.

"Good, cause I'm about to fuck you."

Those are his last words before I feel myself move into a different realm. A place where it is just Finn and me. He kisses my shoulder, his hands sliding to my breasts as his thrusting becomes urgent.

"Finn…" I moan, my head digging into the bed as he moves. Finn's hands stay on me, teasing and caressing as his thrusts grow deeper, more purposeful.

"You feel incredible," he murmurs against my ear, his voice rough with pleasure.

I wrap my hand around his neck, pulling him close as I dig my fingers into his back.

The heat between us builds with each touch, each movement pushing me closer to the edge.

Finn's hand slides to my hip, holding me steady as he thrusts harder, his other hand cupping my breast and pulling me flush against him.

I cry out, wrapping my arms around him as we both tumble over the edge.

The moment I come, all the tension disappears and I feel euphoric.

Finn collapses onto me, our bodies tangled as we catch our breath.

"Don't pull away from me again," Finn whispers, pulling me into his arms.

"I won't." I press my face into his chest, letting his heartbeat slow against my cheek. "I couldn't even if I wanted to."

He kisses the top of my head. We lie like that for a long while, his fingers drawing lazy circles on my bare shoulder.

"I hate that you have to go back," he says finally.

"I know."

"Is it bad right now? At the estate?"

I laugh softly, because what else can I do. "It's Vito. It's always bad."

"He's still got everyone locked down?"

"Not everyone. Rina went to Milan with him last week. Sofia's been moved again. She hates it out there — says the Hamptons house feels like a mausoleum with too many guards." I shake my head against his chest. "Vito won't even let Mamma visit her without three cars of security."

Finn's fingers still for half a second on my shoulder, then resume their slow circle. "That bad, huh," he murmurs.

"That bad." I yawn, my eyes already getting heavy. "I don't want to go back there. Not tonight. Not ever."

"Then don't." He tilts my chin up to kiss me, slow and soft, and whatever half-thought was forming at the edge of my mind slips away. "Stay. Just for tonight."

I close my eyes against his mouth. I can't remain caged by my family. I need freedom, I want it — and Finn is going to be my ticket to it.