Chapter 35
Chapter Thirty-Five
Margot
Istand in the darkness, silhouetted by the enormous palace windows, just staring out into the moonlit night.
I’m wearing a beautiful light gray ballgown but my shoes are abandoned by the door of the living room.
I press my hands to my face, feeling the heat that rushed to my cheeks a few minutes ago.
I snuck away from the rest of the dinner party and ran up here as soon as I could. That’s only after I made a complete fool of myself by talking over Stellan, though.
It didn’t seem like that big of a deal to me. It’s just a normal part of the conversational flow, at least in America. But apparently it was enough to stop every other conversation and draw all eyes my way.
My cheeks still burn just thinking about it.
“Haj.”
I turn a little, seeing Stellan standing there, filling up the doorframe. His face is mostly in shadow but I would recognize his tall frame anywhere. My mouth turns up at the corners.
“Think his name and he shall appear.”
Stellan moves forward, his face emerging from the shadows. “I noticed that you were gone and I came to check on you.”
I walk across the room to the couches, falling onto one of them. Keeping my tone light, I look at him as he walks over. “You found me. Hiding upstairs from my own shame.”
His lips twitch. “It wasn’t that bad.”
I roll my eyes. “Everyone at the dinner thought I was raised in a barn.”
He gives me a funny look as he sits across from me. “What?”
“They thought I was lacking in manners.”
“Ah! I wouldn’t worry about what they think, honestly.” He sits back, steeling his fingers.
“Well, I am worried. I’m worried from the second I wake up until the second I’m asleep. I don’t want to embarrass myself… but more importantly, I don’t want to embarrass you.”
Stellan shrugs a shoulder. “I wouldn’t worry about it.”
I squint off toward the window. “I wasn’t cut out for this…
this caring about what everyone thinks. I just want to be able to wear my ratty old t-shirts and listen to my loud punk music and walk around taking photos.
I don’t want everyone else’s opinions about how I walk funny and who I should be associating with. ”
I stick out my tongue to make a disgusted face. My expectation is that he will laugh, or make some funny remark. But to my surprise he leans forward, his face looking serious as the original sin.
“Margot. If you don’t want this lifestyle, please tell me right now. There is still time to turn the car around.”
My eyes widen. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to complain…”
He shakes his head. “No, I’m serious. Can you be a royal?
Can you deal with the invasion of privacy and the world judging your every move?
” He stops, then exhales a long breath. “I know it isn’t very romantic to have this conversation.
But I really need you to think about your answer.
You’d have to give up any kind of job. You’d have to put down roots here.
I will move heaven and earth to make you my wife… but you have to meet me halfway.”
For a second, I can only blink. For Stellan to say these things to me, so bluntly and without pretense or the disguise of humor… it’s unusual, to say the least.
“Stellan— “
He holds up a hand. “I want you to consider what I am saying, Margot. There is an escape option for you… but that window is growing smaller by the day. Do you understand?”
I flush, sitting up and looking at my hands in my lap. “I do.”
He put my conundrum into words, which is more than I have been willing or able to do. As I sit there, his words swirl against me and wash over me again and again.
Can I be the queen that Stellan needs? Am I dignified enough? Humble enough? Resilient enough?
Simply put, do I have what it takes?
Half a minute of silence lapses before I realize that he’s waiting for an answer. I glance up at his darkly handsome face, biting my lower lip.
“I don’t know,” I confess. “I’m sorry. I wish I did.”
Stellan sits back on the couch, looking upset. “I thought that you wanted this.”
“I love you. That part has never been in doubt. But… you’re asking me to make a major decision that will affect the rest of my life.
And it’s just… it’s hard.” Screwing up my face, I sigh.
“If you were anyone else, I would just say yes right now. But… your honor, your sense of duty… they are a part of you. And I’m trying to figure out whether I can put honor and duty first like you do. ”
He frowns. “You make me sound selfless. I’m anything but that. If I really only cared about duty, I would’ve just picked a wealthy Danish girl to marry and sired an heir by now.”
I wrinkle my nose. In my head, I can just picture Stellan and some willowy blonde standing in a royal portrait, holding a baby. The question is, can I put myself in the place of the blonde?
“I know,” I say with a shrug. “I’m trying my best to figure out whether I can commit to the royal lifestyle. You already know that I’d commit to you in a heartbeat.”
His smile is a little heartbreaking. “I know, skatter. We are just running out of time. A decision has to be made.”
I suck in a breath and nod. “I know.”
Stellan stands up, holding out his hand to me. “Come.”
Getting to my feet, I slip my hand into his, relishing how warm his skin is. “Back to the dinner?”
His mouth curves up. “No. It’s been two days since I’ve even seen you naked. I’m starving for your body, skatter.”
My heart beat drums a staccato rhythm against my ribs. Pressing myself closer to Stellan, I pull his head down, kissing his mouth. He growls and sweeps me off my feet, carrying me to his bedroom.
He strips me naked and tosses me on the bed, then undresses himself. When he comes after me, his touch tender and brutal, I can’t get enough.
He takes me from behind, pulling my hair and caging my body in with his.
He fucks me, slowly at first, his thrusts growing more and more rough.
He soon has me calling out his name, panting breathlessly, as he drives me closer and closer to the brink.
And I’ve never felt so free as I do in the midst of our sweaty, mind-blowing sex.
Trapped under him, pinned like this, is exactly where I want to be. It’s all the rest that has me questioning whether I can commit to being his.
Later, when we are done, our sweat cooling as we suck in hasty breaths, I cling to Stellan.
“I love you so much,” I whisper against his chest. “I always will.”
He just pulls me closer, still struggling to pull air into his lungs. The way he holds me, like I’m some fragile thing that is too precious to break… it almost makes me cry.
As I drift off to sleep, the last thing on my mind is a question.
Am I really going to let this wonderful man slip away just because I can’t stand being scrutinized by strangers?
I really, really hope not.