29. Haven #3
My body responds in all the wrong ways, of course. Face flushing, pussy clenching as his touch sends an electric thrill racing up my spine.
“Kai! Stop!” There’s a frantic edge to my voice as I try to tug his hand away. “What are you doing?”
It’s raining harder now. Not just a cute little drizzle. The pool is emptying out. Everyone’s going inside, where it’s warm. And dry. And shit isn’t going down that they can potentially be witnesses to.
People look, then look away.
Nobody’s going to save me.
And Kai fucking knows it.
It makes me so mad I want to punch something.
Kai will have to do.
There’s a satisfying crack of bone against bone when my knuckles meet the side of his face. But other than working his jaw a few times, he barely acknowledges the strike.
He’s too busy trying to slip his finger behind my underwear. And I’m too busy trying to force myself to stop him.
“Stop it!” I grab his wrist again. “I’m on my fucking period.”
“And?”
“And unless you’re planning on getting a pair of tweezers to pull my tampon out when you’re done, those fat fingers of yours aren’t going inside me.”
That makes him stop.
But for all the wrong reasons.
He leans back, slides a hand into my hair, and wrenches my head back. There’s a frantic smile on his mouth that makes a part of me shudder, and another come alive.
“That’s why you were bleeding last night.”
I roll my eyes. “And here I thought I’d have to paint a fucking picture.”
His lips form into a hard, cruel line. “You played us both.”
“Huh?”
He laughs, and it’s even worse than the smile. Kai releases my hair, grabs the railing, leans his head on my shoulder and starts rocking back and forth.
“You fucking played us, Miss H.”
So…I’m getting vibes.
Like how maybe Kai isn’t sober. Not in a ‘whoopsie, too much tequila’ kind of way. But like hardcore mind-altering chemicals have been introduced to his blood stream and have flicked on switches that should always, always be turned off.
Ducking my head to get a better look at his pupils, I whisper, “Are you on something?”
“Fuck off, Haven.”
“You’re acting—“
“What? Crazy?” His laugh sounds it. “Because anyone who doesn’t swallow everything you say, hook, line, and fucking sinker, they gotta be crazy, right?”
He presses his nose against the side of my neck, inhales a sharp breath. “I can still smell him on you. It’s like he’s soaked into your skin.”
My body’s shivering now, and it’s got nothing to do with the drops of rain reaching us under the porch roof. Or the odd gust of wind driving them to us.
It’s the way Kai’s voice drops so low, it’s rumbling.
With his face so close to mine, all I can think about is kissing him. Like I did this morning. He wouldn’t taste the same. He had Bastian’s cum in his mouth.
Bitter. Salty. Warm.
And then sweet and wet the longer we kissed.
Fuck, how can I get this turned on by someone who obviously despises me so much?
Because in that tiny sliver of a moment this morning, it didn’t feel like he hated me.
…I fucking love you…
The memory of those words he whispered to me last night send a jolt through my body.
Did that really happen? And if it did, was it genuine, or just the drugs and the sex?
The thought that it might be real, like real real, makes my chest close up. I can’t deal with that level of mindfuckery right now. It’s easier to believe he hates me than to hope, even for a second, that he maybe doesn’t.
“Why’d you try so hard to make me believe you were a virgin? You really think it matters anymore? I know what a fucking slut you—“
My knee slams into his groin.
Because seriously, I’ve fucking had it with him.
…HAVEN IS A FUCKN WHORE…
I wish I found it satisfying, watching him crumple onto the floor like a used napkin. But all I feel is pity.
Pity…and a tiny, annoying morsel of concern.
I’m the one who has to get my head examined?
I crouch down beside him, grabbing onto the railing when the world bobs a little too much on the way down.
“Stay away from me, Kai. If you see me walking down the hall, go the other way. Because I’m done being your fucking chew toy. If you follow me again, I’ll make sure that cop finds me, and I’ll make sure not to leave anything out when I tell him how inappropriate you and Bastian were last night.”
I pull myself up by the railing, not trusting my legs. “And for fuck’s sake, see a therapist.”
Kai grabs the front of my dress, hauling me down so hard that I end up on my knees beside him.
“Think I won’t sink this ship?” he hisses, pushing past the pain so evident in his tearing eyes so he can sit up and put our eyes on a level.
My heart hammers in my chest, and that sickening dread weighs down my stomach like a lead ball.
“You forget, Haven. I can afford a fucking life boat now.”
Kai grabs my jaw, his fingers sinking in hard enough to make me wince.
“I have friends, influence. You’ve got nothing. No one. Last I checked, you can’t even fucking swim.” He drags me closer until his breath is tickling my lips. “If I throw you overboard, Heavenly, you’ll drown before anyone even notices you’re gone.”