6. Haven #3
We both jerk at the sound, turning to look at the phone lying forgotten a foot away.
His mom has the worst timing in the entire fucking universe.
“Leave it,” Kai mumbles against my mouth, his fingers working in and out of me again.
I shift away from his touch, pull my hands out from under his clothes. He grabs my wrist, sucking his blood off my fingers, but I pull it free.
“Answer it, Kai.”
He rears back, eyes glittering fiercely. “You fucking kidding me right now?”
I just stare up at him, silent.
“Jesus fucking Christ.” He rushes to his feet, snatching the phone off the ground as he heads into the kitchen area.
The ringtone cuts off like he declined the call, but then he answers with a curt, “What?”
I roll onto my stomach, still breathing hard as I watch him move around the kitchen, his back to me. His shoulders are tense, his free hand clenched at his side.
I can’t hear what his mom is saying.
“No,” Kai snaps. Then, after a pause, even louder, “I said no. I got midterms next week.”
Kai’s hand goes to his hair, tugging hard. He paces, face going slacker and slacker.
“I don’t care what he wants. I’m not—“
His whole body goes rigid as he cuts off. Then he laughs. The sound is so ugly and bitter it makes my stomach churn.
“You really expect me to believe that?”
He listens for another few seconds, then hangs up without saying goodbye.
For a long moment, he just stands there, staring at his phone’s screen. Then he shoves it in his pocket and looks up.
His face is blank. Eyes dark. Mouth a thin line.
“What did she want?” I ask.
“Something she can’t have.”
I push up from the floor, frowning as I move closer. “Come on, Kai. What did she say?”
He won’t look at me, even when I go to stand right in front of him. “Forget it.” His lips twitch into a pathetic attempt at a smile. “Where were we?”
He grabs my waist, pulling me against him, but I plant my hands on his chest and push.
“Don’t.”
He frowns, gaze sullen as he finally makes eye contact. “Don’t what?”
“Don’t try to fuck me so you don’t have to talk to me.”
His jaw tightens. “That’s rich, coming from you,” he mutters.
My voice sounds too shrill compared to his, even while my heart gives a guilty jump. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
“Nothing. Forget it.”
“No, say it. What do you mean?”
He shakes his head, stepping back. “I need to get out of here.”
“Are you serious right now?”
“Kruger invited me for a drink.” He’s already moving toward the door, phone out to order an Uber. “I’m gonna go.”
The air leaves my lungs like I’ve been punched. “You’re seriously going to leave right now?”
“I need to think, Haven.”
“About what?”
He doesn’t answer. Just shoves a hand in his pocket and taps on his phone, not looking at me.
“Kai. Talk to me. Please.” My voice cracks, and I fucking hate how desperate I sound.
How utterly pathetic.
He pauses at the door, hand on the knob. For a second, I think he’s going to turn around. Going to explain. Going to let me inside the fortress in his mind where he hides when life is too ugly and messy for him to handle.
“You can come with me if you want,” he says, still not looking at me.
It’s not an invitation. It’s an obligation. A half-assed offer he’s making so he can tell himself he tried.
“Yeah, because it’s so fucking obvious you want me there,” I say sourly.
His shoulders tense.
“Just go, Kai. Get drunk with your friends so you can think.”
The door slams shut behind him.
Silence rushes in to fill the space where he was, pressing against my eardrums until they ache.
I stand there like an idiot, staring at the door, waiting for it to open again.
Waiting for him to come back and say he’s sorry, that he didn’t mean it, that he won’t abandon me somewhere that used to be so fucking perfect five minutes ago.
He doesn’t.
Why would he?
He has Kruger. Friends. Options.
He has places to go and people waiting when he gets there.
I’ve had no one and nothing for fucking years—
The first tear catches me off guard, even though the pressure behind my eyes has been building for minutes.
It slides down my cheek before I can reach it, hot and wet and infuriating. I swipe at my face so hard my cheek grinds against the bone beneath, but more tears follow.
More always follow.
My vision blurs until the door is nothing but a smear.
“Fuck this.” My voice comes out cracked and pathetic. “Fuck you.”
But the tears don’t listen. They never fucking listen. They just keep coming, faster and harder, and suddenly I’m not crying anymore.
I’m sobbing—ugly, gasping, heaving sobs that rack my whole body and steal my breath and make me sound like a dying animal.
“No! You don’t get to do this to me!” I scream at the empty room, at the door, at the mental snapshot of Kai as he left. “Not again!”
The words dissolve into another sob. And God, I hate him all over again, bright and hot and vicious as the day I sent that angry letter.
Rage burns through the heartbreak so fast it leaves me dizzy.
“You don’t get to make me need you and then just fucking—just fucking l-l-leave—“