Chapter 21
Chapter Twenty-One
SUMMER
I reach for the blindfold again, my heart racing in my chest, blood rushing in my ears. I'm hoping it's not a bad idea to trust Noah, but the second he tied the blindfold over my eyes, I started to wonder if I made the right choice.
Noah gently swats my hands away. "You're going to ruin the surprise if you keep this shit up."
"How would you like it if I tied a blindfold over your eyes, stuffed you in a car, and then started marching you around?" I reach for the silky fabric again, only to have my hands grabbed and twisted behind my back.
I squirm, trying to get free, but he only holds my wrists tighter in one of his hands.
His breath whispers over the back of my neck, the hair along my spine rising.
"You're going to stop that right now, or when we get home, I'm going to teach you a lesson you'll never forget."
I stop, pressing back against him, shivering when the hard outline of his body molds against me.
It's the perfect opportunity to tease him, so I move my hips a little, grinding my ass into his cock.
His teeth graze against my earlobe. "You're going to want to stop that too. I thought you'd be able to hear all the people surrounding us."
"Oh." I do know we have people around us, but to be honest, I don't care. If he brought me here, he can deal with the consequences of it.
"I'd almost believe you didn't know if you didn't turn to look every time you heard someone moving a little too close to you."
"Well, excuse me for being raised in a family where they believe that everyone and everything is out to get you and you always have to stay alert."
He drops my wrists, his fingers skimming the side of my neck before a possessive hand cups the back of it, guiding me along with his touch. "You don't have to worry about that with me. You never have to worry about that with me."
I pause in my tracks again, my body pressed against his.
His hand never leaves me, his fingers tracing patterns like he's trying to comfort me.
Can I trust him to keep me safe? Can I let my guard down around him?
I want to. I really want to.
And I don't know what to do with that information. I don't know if it's safe.
There's no way of telling where any of this is going. I don't have a crystal ball, and I can't see the future. And it scares the shit out of me.
I used to spend most of my life pretending I was the one who didn't care and sneaking out to one party after the next.
And now here I am, with a man far too old for me—one who has shown me the best and worst in him. A surprising amount of kindness despite every single difference we have.
Noah's fingers still when I don't start walking again. "Are you okay?"
I nod. "Yes. I just...this, I don't know. It all seems insane to me. I mean, you're old enough to be my father."
He starts laughing, the sound low and rich. "Out of all the reasons you could be freaking out right now, our age difference is what's bothering you?"
"Don't laugh." I turn around, hoping I'm facing him.
"It's something you should be worried about too.
Not that this is anything between us, but you're dragging me somewhere and surprising me with something, which makes me think that maybe you care a little more than I thought you did, and then there's the—"
Warm lips press against mine, hands cupping my face. One of the hands buries itself in my hair, holding me tight against Noah.
He tastes like a mix of mint and the air after it rains. I don't know what it is, but it's addictive. It draws me closer and closer.
His hands slide down my body, gripping my waist, fingers sinking deep into my flesh.
My lips part more on a moan, his tongue tangling with mine, fighting for the dominance I know I'm going to readily hand over to him.
There's nothing I like more than letting him take control, getting a break from my own mind for once. It's relaxing to know I don't always need to keep my shit together, to have someone to fall apart with.
Except he's been enemies with my family for as long as I can remember. And once he's done with me, he's going to kill me.
Yeah, nothing much to worry about there.
Or about how this will all blow up in my face eventually.
The kiss ends, and he pulls back, his touch softer on my waist. "Where did you go just now?"
"Can't really go anywhere. You've still got me blindfolded, and all I can hear is people talking, so I really have no clue where I am at all, and I'd really like to know where I am since I don't know where you brought me, and you don't really have the best track record with taking me places either. "
He chuckles, taking me by the hand, turning me back around, and leading the way to wherever it is we're going.
I still don't know.
And it's not like he's willing to give me any more information either.
Finally, he stops, letting go of my hand and moving to stand behind me. "You can look now."
The blindfold is pulled from my eyes, and for a moment, all I can do is squint against the bright sunlight.
Birds chirp in the trees, and kids run by me, laughing and tugging their parents along under the sign for the Central Park Zoo.
Noah's hand presses against the curve of my waist. "I know shit started pretty fucked up between us. Thought we could go on a date, and I could make it up to you."
There's no way I heard him right. I couldn't have. Out of all the energy he gives off—possessive asshole being the main energy—I didn't think he'd ever be the kind of man to take me on a date.
I tilt my head to the side, looking back at him. "A date?"
He stuffs the blindfold into his pocket, taking my hand and lacing our fingers together to tow me along through the crowd of people in front of us. "Yes. I'm sure you know what that is. Or maybe not. None of those university boys showing you a good time?"
I snort and roll my eyes, but I can't help but like the feeling of my hand in his. "You wouldn't know what me and those university boys are doing."
He shrugs. "Doesn't matter. They're all too young for you either way."
"And you're too old for me. Besides, most of the guys in my class are only a year or two younger than me." I wait to the side as he pays for our tickets.
When he comes back to me, holding out the wristband and helping me put it on, I eye him.
Noah smirks, pressing his hand to my lower back and guiding me forward toward the first exhibit.
"Worrying about that again, are you?" He shakes his head.
"You grew up fast. You can't tell me you didn't. You lost both of your parents young, and I can't imagine being raised by Aiden allowed much time to be a child. "
"You don't know the first thing about it." I bristle a little, not sure where this conversation is leading.
The last thing I want to do on a day this nice, when the sun is shining bright and there's not a cloud in the sky, is to wander around the zoo fighting. It'd be better to just avoid all topics around our family, but that's not easy, either.
There's too much going on in both of our lives to pretend that there aren't huge barriers standing in our way.
And that's even if I want a relationship with him.
I bite the inside of my cheek, not sure of what I want. Hell, I don't even know what I'm going to get even if I did want something at this point.
I know I like him in a way I shouldn't, in a way that's going to piss Aiden off when he finds out.
And there's no way Aiden isn't going to find out. Not when Noah's brought me out in public, and I know there are people following me and trying to get a glimpse of what's going on.
Noah's thumb rubs my back in small circles. "You know, you spend a lot of time in your head, but I think this might be worse than normal."
I approach the fence lining the sea lion enclosure, several of them lounging in the sun. One paddles its way to the water and slips in, swimming around with swishes of its flippers.
Noah leans on the fence beside me, his arms dangling. "You know, whatever's going on in that head of yours, you can talk to me about it."
"I think you're still going to kill me. I don't know what I want from this or from you because I don't know what's going to happen when this all comes to a head.
I know Aiden is never going to be the one to forgive you for anything that's happened if this were to be something between the two of us. "
"Do you want this to be something?" Noah drums his fingers on the metal of the railing, looking like he isn't sure of what he's asking.
"I don't know." I sigh and push off the railing, turning and starting down the path to the tropical animals section.
He follows me, dodging some running children who almost manage to headbutt him in the balls.
A mother shoots him an apologetic look, pushing a stroller with two more children in it and looking like she's wondering what her life has become.
Noah tucks his hands into his pockets, and though there's still a dangerous look to him, it's not like looking at him every other time and seeing that he could kill you with his bare hands.
In a setting like this, away from everyone else in our world, he looks like just a man.
And I wish I could believe that.
As we enter the tropic zone, I head straight for the mongoose exhibit. "If there wasn't this predetermined life set out in front of you, what would you do?"
There were days when I was younger when I would come to the zoo when life felt too hard. I'd sit and watch the animals for hours, looking at the birds perching in the trees high above and going to look at some of the other animals when the tropical zone got too warm.
Noah says nothing for what seems like an eternity, then he glances at me. "Sometimes, I think about a life where I don't have to do all this. I'm getting older, and I have to be honest; this is the life I thought I'd have for myself at this point."
"Elaborate."
He reaches out, taking my hand again, linking them together as we walk from one exhibit to the other. "When I was younger, I didn't see the point in having a family of my own. I hit thirty and started thinking I might want something. Now I'm in my forties and have nothing to show for it."
"You have a nice house and a good life."
He scoffs and shakes his head. "I have a half-brother who spends most of his day coming up with new ways to try and fuck me over because he can't think of anything better to do with his time."
"You could kill him. Isn't that your family motto?"
Noah's look is flat as he stops and pulls me in front of him, pointing at some of the bats hanging upside down in their enclosure as he brings his lips to my ear. "If that were true, why the hell would Gia, Zoe, and Ezra still be alive?"
"You make a point." I lean back into him as he stands behind me.
His heartbeat is steady beneath me. "I might be a monster, but I'm not nearly as bad as you make me seem. At the end of the day, I want a family to go home to, and that's just not something that's going to happen for me."
"Well, I'm only twenty-five, and I don't think that's going to happen for me either, so I don't think your age has much to do with it." I tilt my head to the side, looking up at him in time to catch his hard swallow.
"You might be right about that."
I step away from him, making my way out of the tropical zone and leading him down the path toward the red pandas. "Then what's the plan going forward? If you don't think you're going to get the life you want, what comes next?"
"To be honest, I have no clue." His hands slip back into his pockets like he's closing himself off from me again.
The wind ruffles the leaves on the trees. Children's laughter rings out, some of them darting around with binoculars, taking part in the zoo's scavenger hunt.
I turn my face to the sun, soaking up some of the rays, then glance at him as we stop in front of the red pandas. "Come on, you have to have some idea of what comes next."
His fingers drift up and down my spine. "I want to hand over more of the business to someone else, but I don't know who I can trust right now. Most of my family is starting to turn against me."
"I thought the only one you were having problems with was Robert." I lean against the railing, wanting to get a closer look at some of the red pandas.
"Because he wants you. He wants to take over the family, too. He's not getting either, though. Even if he does keep trying to turn more and more of them against me."
That's news to me.
I don't know if I should tell Aiden or not. It could be something he'd be able to use in the war, but I don't think I can give Aiden any information that's going to get Noah killed.
Fuck. The sex is good, but this has become more than that.
Noah turns to me, cupping my face in his hands. "I'm not going to let him take you from me."
I pull back, putting a bit of distance between us.
"First of all, Robert sucks. Second, I'm not something you can determine is just either kept locked up or handed around from person to person.
If this is something you want, then you need to start treating me like a human and not a prize to be won. "
"I'm not going to let him get to you, and if that means I have to keep you locked up, then that's what I'm going to do."
"Like fuck." I cross my arms over my chest, taking a couple of steps backward.
"It's only until this is over and I've dealt with Robert."
I scoff. "Please, you said it yourself. You didn't take care of the others, so what should make me think you're going to take care of him? This sounds like I'm going to spend the rest of my life locked in your house."
Without another word, he grabs me by the hand, hauling me to a small stone building hiding beneath vines creeping up the walls. He opens a door and pushes me inside, following me in and flicking on the light.
The room smells like chemicals, and there are several mops and brooms shoved to one side. There's a sink in the corner and some gardening tools on a shelf.
I could use one of those as a weapon if I need to.
Noah advances on me, forcing me to take several steps back, cold stone brushing against my shoulders.
"You're going to do what I tell you. You don't have a choice in this. I'm not going to let anyone get to you."
"You can't just keep me locked up and away from my life!"
I was wrong. Whatever the hell this is between us is never going to work.
It can't work.
I refuse to be a bird trapped in a cage...even if he does have me trapped right now.