Chapter 20 - Sienna
There was a soft knock on the door, but I didn’t turn. I lay curled under the covers, staring into the darkness as the hinges creaked and footsteps approached.
Avit had come home an hour ago and told me my father was dead.
Murdered. His greed had finally gotten the best of him.
He’d tried to double-cross Oskar, to squeeze more money out of him.
As if crossing the Safins wasn't enough.
The first mistake he made, I paid for with my freedom… his second? He paid with his life.
I’d been so close to freeing him, freeing us. If he had just waited a little longer.
But that wasn’t who my father was.
He wasn't a very patient man, not when it came to money. And not in the past weeks. He was determined to get out of the US to escape whatever other messes he had created. But men like my father…never escaped. At least not the way they wanted.
A choked sob clawed up my throat as guilt crashed over me. Maybe I should’ve asked Avit for money. Maybe I should’ve swallowed my pride and kept the cash Wexler brought me every day, instead of returning it to Avit.
Maybe he’d still be alive.
The last thing I said to my father was that he was dead to me.
And fate listened.
The words I’d thrown at him now echoed back like a curse I had put on myself. And now, those words are the only goodbye he’d ever get from me.
More tears burned their way down my cheeks. I didn’t bother wiping them away. New ones kept coming, anyway.
“I brought you dinner,” Avit murmured as the mattress dipped by my hip. One hand braced behind my back, the other pressed into the sheets in front of me, shielding me in.
“I’m not hungry,” I whispered.
I curled tighter, trying to keep myself from cracking wide open. I hated that I felt hollow for a man who had broken me in so many ways. Hated that his death could make me feel this empty.
“Angel, you’ve got to eat something,” Avit pleaded.
His fingertip traced a slow line down my cheek before his hand settled gently on my arm.
I didn’t respond.
I squeezed my eyes shut, wishing he would just leave, because his tenderness made the ache worse. But instead of leaving, he slipped beneath the covers and drew me against him, my back fitting to his chest as his arm wrapped protectively around me.
“Do you need anything?” he whispered into my hair.
I shook my head because if I opened my mouth, I’d break.
I’d been avoiding Avit, not only because of how sick I'd been feeling lately, but because I was waiting for the right moment to tell him about the baby. But every time I opened my mouth, the words lodged in my throat.
Because the more I thought about it, the clearer it became: we lived in two separate worlds. He was rich, influential…mafia. I was poor, invisible, and the daughter of a man who stole from him. Our paths never should’ve crossed. They only did because of my father’s sins.
What we had wasn’t real. It was convenient. Proximity. A momentary softness in the middle of a storm.
How could he ever love the grandchild of the man who betrayed him? Attach his name to the lineage of someone who had cost him hundreds of thousands of dollars?
And what would his family do when they found out who I was? Who my father was? News must be spreading already. It wouldn’t take long for them to connect the dots, if they hadn't already done so. The truth always crawled its way out of the dark. Always.
My stomach twisted, and I swallowed the bile that tried to escape my throat. I didn’t even know if I could keep this baby. Raising a child alone was terrifying. And if anyone found out who the father was? We’d be running for the rest of our lives.
Once upon a time, my reason for wanting to leave the country had been my father. Now, I realized it was the man lying next to me.
Whether I kept the baby or not, I’d have to leave the country. To protect the child’s identity, or to make sure I never crossed paths with Avit or his family again.
Still…a small, fragile part of me had hoped he’d ask me to stay. After the second time we’d made love, something between us had shifted. I hoped that maybe he felt it too.
But who was I kidding? Men like Avit had wives and mistresses. I'd be a fool to believe that he had remained faithful while we were married.
Besides, he made one thing perfectly clear, repeatedly—that when this was over, so were we.
Love couldn’t be begged for. It couldn’t be forced into existence.
I refused to become my mother, trapped in a loveless marriage, clinging to a man who never chose her.
I wouldn’t make that mistake.
According to him, we'd get a divorce, and I'd get my freedom and return to the life I had before I met him.
The only problem was that life no longer existed.
How pathetic I was, falling in love with a man who’d only married me because he was forced into the mess my father created.
A man who, in any other world, would’ve walked right past me without a second glance.
And then I made it worse. I slept with him without protecting myself, didn’t guard the one thing in this world that had always been mine, my future.
Now my body carried the proof of that mistake, and whether I kept this baby or not, no decision I made from this point on would come without consequences.
A sob tore out of me so violently it felt like if my chest had been split open.
Avit reacted instantly. He flipped me toward him and hauled me against his chest. My fists twisted in his shirt, needing to hold onto something, anything, to anchor me.
My sobs came out broken and gut-wrenching.
I cried for the father I’d lost the day my mother first got sick…
and for the father I still couldn’t save, even when I tried.
He murmured soft, comforting words against my hair, his hand rubbing slow circles on my back. And for a moment, I almost let myself collapse into it. Into him.
But the more I cried, the more his comfort felt like a slap in the face. It was something borrowed. Not something I could have permanently. No matter how much I wanted it.
What I wanted didn’t change anything; it didn't carry any weight in Avit's world. He held all the cards.
And my reality was that he didn't want me.
Not beyond the deal. Not beyond the terms. Not beyond convenience. Everything between us—the touches, the softness, the bonding—wasn’t real.
I needed to get out of here. Now.
Slowly, I pushed myself away from him, my hands trembling as I peeled myself out of his hold. Then I made myself meet his eyes.
“It’s time for me to leave.”
A look of confusion washed over his features. “What? Why?”
“My father is dead,” I said, my voice cracking though I tried to steady it. “I helped you uncover who he was supplying. And now that he’s gone, there’s no reason for me to stay. Our deal is over. So is my time in your home.”
It felt like someone was twisting a blade in my chest. Every word hurt. Leaving him would hurt, but staying would hurt worse.
“Sienna…you just got word your father passed. You’re hurting, you’re angry, you don’t have to leave right away.”
I forced my tone to harden as I shifted further away from him into a sitting position. “Are you going back on your word, Mr. Avit?”
He froze. “Sienna, it’s not that. Let me help you through this. You don't have to do it alone. Losing a parent isn’t easy.”
I let out a bitter laugh. “You seem to have forgotten that I had a life before you. Friends who would support me without needing a contract or benefits.” He flinched, and I continued, my voice rising with each word.
“My world didn’t start when I stepped into your house, Mr. Avit.
I had one before I came here. And I’ll have one after I leave. ”
He sighed. “Sienna, you’re lashing out because you’re hurting. I know you are. Please…I don’t want to fight with you. Let me take care of you. Stay as long as you need.”
I shot off the bed. “Stay and let you take care of me? Until when? Until your family realizes this marriage was a farce? Until they find out my father stole from your family? Do you think they’d still accept me when they find out the truth?
Staying here will only keep me under their scrutinizing gaze.
I've already paid for a crime I didn't commit.
It's time for me to be released from this prison.”
His eyes darkened as he rose. He wore the same stoic expression from the first time we met.
“If you want to leave now, then it’s your choice.
I’ll honor our agreement. Wexler will contact you when the divorce papers are ready.
You’ll sign them, and that’s it. I wish you the best, Ms. Romonoff.
I hope you get the life you’ve always dreamed of. ”
He turned and walked out, closing the door behind him, signaling that what we had had come to an end. Every dream, every hope I had dared to cling to about us shattered in that moment.
“I dreamed of a life with you, Avit Safin,” I whispered, my voice breaking. My knees gave way, and I sank to the floor, pressing my hands to my chest as the pain exploded through me like an electric shock.
I wanted to scream, to rage, to fight, but all that came out were choked sobs. The man I had loved, the man I had given pieces of my soul to, was gone…forever. And now…so was any life we could have had.
I curled into myself on the floor, the world narrowing down to the ache in my chest, the grief in my throat, and the tears that wouldn’t stop. My time with Avit was over. My life had shifted on its axis, and there were hard choices to make, and not much time to make them in.
I stood shakily, made my way to the nightstand, and reached for my phone. My fingers trembled as I sent Mandy a text, asking her to come for me. Her reply was immediate—she would, and to send the address. I did, my hands still unsteady.
Slowly, I made my way to my desk and packed away all my books, then my laptop into my knapsack.
Next, I went to the closet, removed my duffel bag, and only packed the clothes that I had before marrying Avit.
I refused to take anything that would remind me of him; the baby growing in my belly would be a reminder enough.
I blocked every number—his family, and their guards. The only contact I kept was Wexler’s. Once the divorce papers were signed, I’d block him, too, change my number, disconnect completely from the life I had grown to love, grown to feel accepted in.
I had no clue where my father’s body was, but I hoped Wexler could help. When the time came, I would have his remains cremated, his ashes scattered in the ocean to be free, like he'd always wanted to be.
After one last look around the room, I inhaled deeply. Then I made my way out of the bedroom, down the stairs, and through the front door, for the last time.
It took everything in me not to look back as I stepped through the front gate. My past offered nothing. As for my future? I wasn’t sure I was ready for it.