Chapter 3
CHAPTER
THREE
EMERSON
My mind couldn’t comprehend that a guy this hot wanted me. The broken and bullied part of my soul kept waiting for the punchline. Any minute now…
The best orgasm of my life cleared away the doubt, and I leaned into trust. Worst case, this was a prank, and the orgasm was a nice parting gift. But on the off chance it was real, I wanted to be fully present in case this was the only time I ever felt this desired, sexy, and treasured.
This accepted and wanted.
To feel like I mattered to Holden, that he cared about my pleasure above his own, soothed that broken piece I’d carried for the past six years.
“Which door, Wildcat?”
“Last one,” I squeaked, clinging to his shoulders. He kept picking me up, and I didn’t know how to feel about it. I knew some girls liked to be hauled around, but it made me self-conscious. I’d come a long way in accepting myself and learning to love my body after years of shame. The number on the scale might fluctuate, but it didn’t determine my worth .
However, it didn’t change the reality of how much I weighed, and being dropped or hurting this hot guy was an embarrassment I didn’t want to experience.
“You can put me down, Holden,” I whispered.
He stopped, lifting his brow. To his credit, he didn’t appear to be straining—there was no grimace or sweat on his brow.
“Are you saying that because you want me to or something else? Because if you don’t like it, I can stop. But if it’s out of some misguided?—”
I shook my head, placing my fingers over his lips. “I don’t doubt you’re strong; it just makes me anxious.” My teeth sank into my lip, my eyes pleading with him to let this go.
He searched my eyes and then kissed my forehead. “Okay, Wildcat.”
The simple gesture melted my heart, and I had to fight the tears that wanted to fall. Holden squeezed my butt once before he sat me on my feet. I stepped away and turned on the LED lights around the ceiling, casting the room in a soft turquoise glow.
Holden peered around my room, glancing at it before returning to me. His aquamarine eyes shimmered in the soft light, the hue magnifying the blue. Not wanting to overthink anything else, I pulled off my shirt and unhooked my bra, tossing them both to the ground. His eyes fell on my breasts, and I fought the urge to suck in my stomach and cover it with my arms.
Holden growled, stepping forward as he yanked his shirt over his head with one hand. He invaded my space, erasing my view, and I frowned. The desire to trace his body with my eyes so I could remember it forever was so strong. The amount of muscles on his body was insane. The need to touch them, to ensure they were real, came over me and I lifted my hand, then hesitated.
“Don’t be shy now, Wildcat. Touch me. Please . ”
Lifting my eyes to his, I saw the yearning and need reflected there, encouraging me. Trailing my fingers lightly on his abs, a jolt of pleasure hit me when Holden sucked in a breath and his lashes fluttered closed. Leaning forward, I followed my fingers with my tongue. A hiss of breath escaped his lips and spurred me on. I added my second hand, mapping out his body with my fingers and tongue.
Sitting on the edge of the bed, I unbuttoned his jeans and pulled them down to reveal baby-blue boxer briefs. His cock strained against the fabric, and a distinctive wet patch drew my eyes. Glancing up at him from under my eyelashes, I watched his reactions as I gripped his dick through his boxers and squeezed. Holden moaned, his head falling back at my touch.
Pulling the band lower, my eyes widened when his dick popped free. I’d never seen one so big before. I licked my lips, wanting to taste him, but unsure if I’d be good at it. Tentatively, I snuck out my tongue and tasted the salty precum. Wrapping my lips around the tip, I sucked and moved lower, only taking in a fourth of him.
“Shit, Wildcat. That feels phenomenal.” He groaned, his big hands softly touching my face. Brushing my hair back, he stared into my eyes as I stroked and sucked. I got so lost in watching him that I forgot to be nervous about my skills. His constant praise and attention made me enjoy this more than I imagined.
“So good. Your mouth is perfect, Wildcat.”
Spreading my legs, I teased my clit as I took him deeper.
“Fuck, that’s sexy. Sink your fingers deeper for me.”
I did as he asked, my eyes rolling back at the dual pleasure. Holden cursed and pulled away. My eyes flew open at the sudden loss of him. I watched in a daze as he shoved his jeans and boxers down and kicked off his shoes.
“Sorry,” I mumbled.
“What for?” he asked, taking out his wallet and thumbing out a condom. I waved my hand in front of my face and gestured to his dick.
“I’m not that good.”
Holden’s eyes narrowed as he rolled the condom on, the latex protesting against his size. “Whoever told you that was a fucking liar.”
“But you stopped…”
“Because I refuse to come in your mouth before I have your sexy pussy, Wildcat.” He bent down, scooped my thighs over his arms, and tossed me further up the bed. I squeaked again, my cheeks heating at how many times I’d made that sound around him. So not sexy!
Holden chuckled, and my breath caught at the sound. His body slotted perfectly between mine, his cock resting on my lower belly. We stared at one another, unspoken words passed between us before he pounced.
Lips smashed against mine, and his mouth stole my breath. His tongue plowed in, sending electric bolts racing over my body. Holden lifted my hips, and I wrapped my legs around him. Everything between us felt so natural. I didn’t have to think about what to do next or question if he liked it. Our bodies moved together, anticipating one another like great choreography.
Sex had never felt this good before. Everything with Holden felt intensified, and I had no clue if it was because of how hot he was or something else.
I broke the kiss, my mind spinning from sensation overload. Holden moved to my throat, his mouth leaving hot kisses down my body. I didn’t know what to focus on—his mouth or hands. While he kissed me, his hands caressed every inch he could touch. Whimpering, I rocked against him, needing more.
“ Please , Holden.”
His lips slanted against my skin, and I knew he was smirking. Thankfully, he didn’t call me out on my begging and notched himself at my entrance. He pressed in, stretching me wide, and my breath hitched. His eyes were fixed on the spot where our bodies met, and we created quite the sight with my legs draped over his muscular thighs, his hands spreading them wide.
Gripping the sheets, my eyes rolled back the deeper he pressed. My heart pounded in my ears at the fullness, and I held my breath. Tensing my muscles, I worried I couldn’t handle him. He was too big.
“I can’t,” I gasped, panting now that I’d let myself breathe.
“You can, Wildcat. You can take me.” His thumb stroked my clit, urging me to relax. Pleasure eclipsed the pain, and my muscles loosened. “Good girl, Wildcat. I love how responsive you are, showing me exactly how I make you feel.” He let out a breath, his next words strained. “Almost there.” He gritted his teeth, his forearm muscles tense as he conquered the last few inches.
Fucking hell, he was big.
I whimpered at the fullness, and my body twitched with the built-up orgasm needing an outlet. “Move, Holden. I need…”
“I got you.”
His sweet words, combined with his thrust, were my undoing. He withdrew, and I instantly missed the fullness. Thankfully, he didn’t leave me wanting for long and slammed back into me. Watching the rapture on his face was almost as intoxicating as the way he felt inside me. Now that he was moving, the pain lessened and pleasure returned.
Gripping his forearms, I dug my nails into him harder with each forward thrust of his hips. Babble fell from my lips, and I had no control over what I said. Everything in me pulled taut, waiting for the last tug to pull me over that edge. Holden growled, shifting and yanking my hips higher until my ass left the bed .
With the new angle, he hit me deeper, and I lost it. My back bowed as I came, tiny explosions setting off in my body. It was the most powerful orgasm I’d ever experienced, proving I’d never be the same after this.
I wasn’t sure if that was good or bad yet.
Holden shouted, my body spasmed around him, and I felt him tense as his thrusts faltered. He stalled, holding me tight to him, his head back, and his lips slightly parted as he came. He was even more beautiful like that.
Coming down from the high, I relaxed into the mattress. Tiredness crept around the edges of my mind, but I wasn’t ready for this to be over. For him to leave.
Holden pulled out and climbed off the bed, and I reached out to grab his hand. I didn’t want him to leave.
“Stay,” I whispered. He paused, turning back to me, and lifted a brow. I licked my lips, my throat raw from screaming. “I’m leaving in the morning, so I’m not trying to turn this into something else. It’s just late, and I dunno, maybe we could do it one more time.” I shrugged, trying to hide my flaming cheeks.
He smirked. “Told you I’d rock your world, Wildcat.”
Rolling my eyes, I dropped his hand. “Nevermind. I forgot how cocky jocks were.”
Holden chuckled. “You can’t deny it’s not true. Besides, I was only getting up to toss this.” He held up the condom.
“Oh.” I pointed to the bathroom door and waited for him to disappear before I climbed out of bed and pulled on an old T-shirt. It was my senior shirt from high school. It was soft and fit well, making it a favorite despite it being the wrong size. Hope had changed my original order from an XL to a 3XL, saying she wanted to ensure it fit. The joke was on her since it worked perfectly as a nightshirt.
I turned off the lights, climbed under the sheets, and waited for Holden to return. Worry he’d regret it now that it was over rose the longer he took. When he climbed in, he pulled me into his arms and kissed my forehead, soothing it away.
“I need to be somewhere at eight,” he whispered.
“Okay. I’m leaving around then, so I’ll make sure you’re up.”
“Thanks, Wildcat.”
“No problem, Jockstrap.”
We slept for a few hours before waking and having sex again, this time slower and softer, but just as amazing. My body felt well worked out, and I’d feel him between my legs for days.
When my alarm sounded an hour later, I groaned before rolling over and brushing his hair off his forehead. Holden’s eyes blinked open, taking me in. I waited for him to freak out, but he only smiled and nestled my neck with his lips.
“I don’t want to go,” he mumbled.
Giddiness filled me, and I tried to clamp down on the excitement building. “Me either,” I admitted.
“You here this summer?” he asked, hope lining his words.
“No. I’m headed home for the summer.”
“Bummer.”
He kissed my neck before pulling back and rolling over. Pushing the covers off, I stood and turned on the light. “You can shower first,” I offered, shuffling on my feet.
“Thanks, Wildcat.” Holden rubbed his eyes, stretching as he stood. My mouth watered at the sight of his body in the daylight.
“Northridge High School. The one in Oak Hills?” he asked, breaking my stare off with his abs.
“Um, yeah. You know it?” Nerves took flight, my confidence evaporating with each second at the mention of my alma mater.
“Sorta. My sister went there. What year are you at Brighton U? ”
“I’ll be a junior in the fall.” My heart pounded in my ears, the air leaving my lungs.
“Same for my sister. She’s at Hayward with me. Do you know Hope Adler?”
Everything went white at her name, and I reached out to brace myself against the wall. “Hope?” I squeaked out, praying I’d misheard.
“Yeah. She was on the dance team,” he said as he gathered his stuff.
“Oh, that Hope.” I laughed, the sound high-pitched. Holden glanced at me, his brows furrowing.
“Everything okay?”
“Yup. Uh-huh. Low blood sugar in the morning,” I stuttered. “Gotta eat.” I patted my stomach.
He nodded, not looking thoroughly convinced. “Right. I’m gonna…” He pointed at the bathroom, and I nodded. The second he was gone, I fell to the floor, my breathing sporadic, and I tried to calm my breaths so I didn’t embarrass myself further.
How was he Hope’s brother? I vaguely remembered her having one, but it wasn’t clear. Shit. Had it all been a lie? Another Hope scheme?
No, there was no way to fake our chemistry. He’d wanted me. But it didn’t matter. Hope would never allow it and only come after me harder.
I couldn’t put myself willingly in her line of fire.
By the time the shower turned off, I’d slowed my breathing and gotten dressed. I needed to get him out of here. I tossed the last few items I needed to pack into my bag, scanning the room for anything I’d missed. The furniture wasn’t mine, and the bigger items I’d leave for next year.
“So, I was thinking,” he said as he exited my bathroom, drying his hair. “I know this was a hookup, but maybe it doesn’t have to be. I’m at camp most of the summer, but I’ll be in Oak Hills a few weeks before school starts. ”
His words were everything I wanted to hear, but the fear outweighed the lust.
He dropped the towel into the hamper, walked over, and grabbed me by the hips to pull my body into his. “I’m not ready to say goodbye.” He dropped kisses on my neck, and my body melted.
The reminder of who he was overruled my heart, and I jerked out of his arms and pushed him away. Hope could never find out.
“Sorry, but I don’t date. Especially jocks ,” I added when he looked ready to launch into a spiel to convince me. His face hardened, hurting my heart, but I knew it was for the best. If Hope knew I’d slept with her brother, she’d kill me.
“Message received,” he gritted through his teeth. Holden picked up his shoes and scanned the room once before heading to the door. I trailed behind him all the way.
“It was great,” I said, my words leaving me now that I needed them.
“Yep. Take care, Emerson.” I suddenly missed his nickname for me, and pain lanced my heart. His eyes scanned me over before opening the door and leaving, taking all the oxygen with him. I fell to my knees, tears pricking my eyes, but I held back the sob.
I knew it was the right choice; it sucked all the same.
Just another thing Hope Adler had stolen from me.