Chapter 5
CHAPTER
FIVE
EMERSON
My dad stood and walked over to Rose, kissing her before pressing a peck on Hope’s cheek. She beamed at my father, and rage bubbled within. Hope had taken so much from me, but I wouldn’t let her have this.
My dad wrapped his arm around Rose’s waist, and the three of them stood side-by-side in a picture of perfection.
They fit together.
Looking down, I couldn’t help but compare myself. I was the before image—the frumpy daughter with undetermined stains on her clothes, stringy hair that hadn’t seen a brush in days, and never said no to dessert her whole life.
They were the after—the put-together family, sleek and stylish. The type to do charity races in matching shirts for fun!
I didn’t belong. Not Hope.
The fight left me, and uncertainty engulfed me. Would he really pick me over love? I wanted to believe yes, but looking at their smiling faces, I was no longer confident.
“Lunch is ready,” Rose said, and my dad turned to me, his smile dropping at my attire. I cringed, and shame for embarrassing him heated my cheeks. It didn’t matter that I hadn’t known of their arrival or that appearance had never been necessary before. My dad had never been embarrassed by me, so to see him battle to find words filled me with utter mortification.
“I should change,” I mumbled, hoping to save some dignity by not having him ask me.
“Yes, that’s—” my dad started.
“Nonsense. I love how Emmy doesn’t care about her appearance one bit. Don’t change on our behalf,” Hope said, her voice sickeningly sweet.
Rose and my dad melted, hearing what they wanted and not how she’d decimated my self-confidence with a few simple words.
That was the thing about Hope. She struck with veiled threats and comments. Heard back, they never sounded as vicious as they were, so she remained innocent. Then, when I had something legitimate, no one believed me. It was debilitating to constantly be reminded of how invisible and worthless you were.
“Regardless, I want to change,” I whispered, staring at the patio.
“Hope’s right,” Rose cut in. “The food’s getting cold, so we might as well eat.”
I glanced at my dad, urging him to step in, but he only had eyes for Rose.
“It’s settled. Let’s eat.”
He turned and entered the house with Rose, the two making lovey-dovey faces at one another. Hope’s face morphed into the one I knew best the second they were gone—a sneer. She marched toward me, stopping at the edge of the pool bed, and towered over me, reminding me of my place beneath her.
The exact moment my life had changed from a mediocre existence to an utter living Hell was one I’d never forget. That was the thing about tragedy; it followed you around like a dark cloud, tinging everything it touched. All my good moments could be sorted into one column: the before , and everything else into the after.
And the person featured the most in the after… Hope Adler.
She sneered at me, her lips pulled tight to the side as she glared her big brown eyes at me. Her dark hair lay perfectly down her back, the top portion pulled back into a half ponytail. There were no flyaways, no misbehaving bumps to be seen, almost as if they didn’t dare to defy the queen herself.
“Did you miss me, Princess Muppet?” she asked, using the nickname she’d bestowed on me in ninth grade. “You’ve become so hard to find these past few years, barely showing your face around town. Just think of all the fun we can have now.” She cackled, the shrill sound grating in my ears. I yearned to cover them to ease the pain, but that would show weakness, and I already had enough of that when it came to Hope.
My eyes darted to the floor, but not before I caught her perfectly applied makeup and mocking smile. She dared me to say something, to push back, but I never did. This was our dynamic:
She pushed, and I caved. Always.
“Don’t call me that,” I whispered.
“But it fits you so well, Muppet .” Hope kept her gaze locked on me until the silence became unnerving and I glanced up. She gave me a smile that on anyone else would look serene but on Hope spelled trouble. “I looked at all the rooms and we can both agree I deserve yours. It’s the biggest and has the most amazing private bathroom.” She sighed dreamily and my stomach knotted.
“You want my room?” I gasped.
“It’s the least you can do for your step-sister.”
“But— ”
“We can do this two ways, Muppet. You give me what I want and I’ll leave you alone and we can pretend to play happy family. Or , I’ll make your life worse,” she paused, glancing at the pool bed in disgust. “More than it already is.”
I gulped, my body shaking. I didn’t know how much further I could sink, but Hope would find a way.
“Girls, everything okay?” my father shouted out the backdoor. He looked between us, and I pleaded with my eyes, begging him to intervene. His brow furrowed, and vindication that he knew me and cared arose.
“Everything’s great, Milton. Emmy offered me her room to welcome me into the family.”
My dad frowned. “Are you sure, Pumpkin? I know?—”
“That’s a wonderful gesture, Emmy,” Rose cut in, and my dad yielded to her, smiling at his new wife like he was the luckiest guy on earth.
“My step-sister is just the best.” Hope beamed, and I had to hold back my gag. Casting my eyes down, I prayed they’d leave me alone to wallow. Hope abruptly wrapped her hand around my arm and yanked me from my spot. The rudeness threw me off, and I stumbled, skinning my knee on the concrete.
“Oopsie, you’re heavier than I thought.”
I closed my eyes, self-hatred brimming and barely keeping the tears at bay. I could not cry in front of Hope.
“Pumpkin?” My dad hovered over me and offered his hand. The simple gesture shouldn’t have been that meaningful, but it was the last straw, and my tears poured out as I stood. “You girls go ahead. It’s been a lot for Emerson,” Dad said. I hated that he needed to make excuses for me when I’d done nothing wrong.
His arm wrapped around my back, and I sobbed harder into him. My father took me through the side entrance where the half bathroom was. Neither of us said anything as he cleaned my knees and wiped my face free of tears .
“What’s going on, Emmy? Something tells me it’s not that I’m married.”
I opened my mouth and urged the words out. I wasn’t sure if it was shame or protection, but I’d dealt with Hope for so long on my own that it felt dumb to say anything now.
“It’s nothing, Dad. It’s just a lot to adjust to. I know Rose made lunch, but I just need some time alone to process. Would that be okay?”
His shoulders slumped, and he smoothed his hands over mine. “Of course, Pumpkin. I know I should’ve told you sooner. That’s on me. I didn’t want to jinx it, and there’s no handbook on how to tell your daughter you’re seeing someone new.”
I offered my dad a watery smile. “It’s okay.”
It was absolutely not okay, but what else could I say? Your stepdaughter is a bitch who made my life hell? Yeah. Even I didn’t believe me, and I’d lived it.
“Take some time this afternoon. We’re going to go out to dinner later to celebrate. That’s the important one.”
I nodded, no more lies willing to form on my lips.
Dad opened the bathroom and led me toward the kitchen. An electrical awareness overtook my body, and my brain caught on way too late. Voices rumbled down the hall, one deeper than Rose’s or Hope’s. My dad kept walking, pulling me along, not noticing I’d frozen. My heart beat against my chest, my vision blurry, and I wondered if it was too late to fake an illness.
My body came alive, the feeling I’d been craving all summer roaring to life. But now that I had it, I didn’t want anything to do with it.
“Milton, look who made it,” Rose said, spotting us at the doorway. Aquamarine eyes turned to where I stood, and for one second, it felt exactly like that night in the club. An electrical current stretched between us, connecting our two souls, and everyone else disappeared .
His eyes widened, shock covering his face as he stared. One side of his lips curved up, and heat filled his gaze. For that one second, I believed that maybe it would be okay. If I got Holden, then I could deal with everything else.
I sucked in a breath, my body tingling with anticipation, and I held myself back from running into his arms. Hope’s hand wrapped around his bicep, and just like that, the connection between us snapped. He bent to listen to her, and his smile morphed into a sneer. It was so like Hope’s; it had to be because he’d looked at me with lust that I hadn’t noticed the similarities before.
His eyes scanned me, but they were filled with disgust instead of the heat I’d come to know from him. Losing the way he’d looked at me was the last blow I could handle. I covered my body, remembering how I looked, and pivoted on the balls of my feet. I sprinted down the hall and up the stairs.
Hey! It looked like I found something that would make me run.
Ignoring my father’s shouts, I ran into my bedroom and slammed the door, but when I glanced around, I couldn’t spot anything familiar. Boxes stood against the wall, and the bedding had already been changed. Yanking open the closet, the hangers held dresses and tops in a size I hadn’t worn since middle school. Buzzing filled my head at the realization Hope had already taken over my room—the last place that had been mine.
Stumbling out of the room, I grasped the doorknobs of the spare rooms as I passed, not finding any of my belongings in them. They held boxes of stuff labeled with Rose and Hope, but none were mine.
Maybe Taylor’s assumption about me being Harry Potter was coming true. Should I check under the stairs?
I stared down the last hallway at the two bedrooms that remained. They were on the opposite side of the house from everything else, so knowing Hope, this would be where my stuff would be. Sighing in resignation, I opened the first door and frowned when it was empty. Turning to the last door, I hesitated.
What if my stuff wasn’t in here? Then what? Would I say something to my dad? I wanted to believe I would, but history told me I wouldn’t.
Slowly, I opened the door, my shoulders relaxing at the sight of my familiar belongings. Closing it, I leaned against it and took a breath. I glanced at the doorknob and knew I’d need to change it so Hope couldn’t get in. She’d already proved she didn’t care about boundaries by moving my stuff.
Opening boxes, I slowly unpacked and placed my belongings around the room. I brushed my hair and changed my clothes, spraying on some body spray for good measure. Once I had unpacked everything, I realized I’d left my phone by the pool. Fear that Hope would get her hands on it filled me and I took off, needing to get to it.
Taking the back stairs, I avoided the kitchen and snuck out the back door. No one was at the pool, so I unhooked my phone and gathered my stuff from the pool bed. My heart slowed now that my phone was safe, and I returned the same way I had come to avoid everyone. Voices stopped me in the back hall, and I froze halfway up the stairs to listen.
“Do you hear how crazy this sounds, Mom?” Holden asked. “You married a man after six weeks! How is this any better than last time?”
Intrigued, I stayed hidden and urged my heart to slow, convinced they could hear it.
“Shh, Holden. It’s different this time. Milton’s a nice man.”
“Who also happens to be loaded?” he scoffed. “Please tell me you’re not taking advantage of him.”
That shocked me. Was Holden more worried about my dad than his mom?
“It’s not what you think. We’re helping each other. ”
“Gross. I don’t want any part of this. I’ll find somewhere else to stay until school starts.”
“Don’t you dare leave!”
“Stop! Both of you,” Hope whispered-yelled. “Holden, you’ll stay here. You promised.”
“That was before she was here.” I could almost hear him grinding his molars, my heart sinking at the vitriol in his words.
“Don’t take it personally. Milton said Emerson’s always been shy and has no friends. You two could help her. It won’t be easy starting her junior year somewhere new.” Ouch, Dad.
“This year is too important for me to show around a stray,” Holden gritted, my heart turning to sand.
“Don’t worry, Mom. I’ll make sure Emerson fits right in.”
I couldn’t stomach hearing anything else and was too worried I’d throw up on the stairs if I stayed. Climbing on shaky legs, I made it to my new room and shut the door. The conversation I overheard was a stark reminder of my life and how everything was slotted into before and after.
Before Mom died and after.
I’d had two years where life had been good, and I foolishly believed my future would be different.
But nothing had ever been okay after , and this wasn’t any different.