Chapter 18 #2
I grab a fry but don’t bother eating it. Simply hold it in my fingers until the salt sticks to my skin.
“I never told him I was back on the team.” My voice is low, as if saying it out loud might make it real. “Didn’t wanna give him the chance to fuck it up again.” I shrug, but it’s a fake one. Heavy as hell. “I still love the game. Last year, when I was playing… damn, I wanted to go all the way.”
Sam lifts her shake, straw near her mouth, but she doesn’t take a sip. She’s watching me instead, not trying to fix anything or fill the silence—just sitting with me in it.
“You still could,” she says, and it’s so damn simple. Three words. That’s it. No pep talk. No pity. Only belief. “You walked away from playing for him. Not from the game.”
It hits hard. Too fucking hard. Knocks something loose I didn’t realize I was still holding onto.
I don’t say shit. Instead, I shove a fry in my mouth to keep it from running.
She bites into her burger, chews, swallows, and doesn’t rush it before hitting me with,
“I’m going to Mayfair next year.”
My eyebrows shoot up. “That’s where Noah and Aubrey are going, right?”
She nods. “Yeah. Lola too. I got a full scholarship. Double major. Psychology and neuroscience.”
I blink slowly. “You’re fucking with me.”
She smirks. “Told you I was smart.”
And fuck, everything clicks into place.
That smug little look she gave when I half-assed the assessment.
The way she kept pushing me to get my act together while I was clowning around, running my mouth just to see her lose it.
And I didn’t even notice. I was too distracted by the way her lips moved when she talked and how satisfying it was to get under her skin.
She takes a slow sip of her shake, keeping her eyes on mine.
“Mayfair has a team, you know,” she says, voice low, not pushing, only putting down the notion. “Maybe you should see about that. For yourself this time.”
I don’t answer. Just stare at her, and for once I really see her— not the girl who drove me crazy in chem, not the one who talks back when I push too hard. Only Sam. The girl who sees things in me I’ve never taken the time to look for.
And it guts me a little because last year I dreamed about college ball. The ideal version. The one where scouts compete for me, and I get to step onto that field knowing I truly belong.
Still.
Tonight was the first time in way too long that it felt right. Not for him or the crowd. Not to prove some bullshit point about being good enough.
For me.
To push myself until my legs give out. To throw my body into every hit and keep getting back up. So that the sweat really means something. To experience the bruises and know I earned every one.
But the idea of playing college ball... that’s a dream I let go of long ago.
I already wrote it off before I even got the chance.
Scouts have already zeroed in on the big names.
Their golden boys. Perfect stats. Clean records.
Smiles for the cameras. Polished players with highlight reels and parents who care.
Sam goes back to her burger.
We sit in silence for a moment. As she eats, I mostly stare at my food and pretend I’m not spiraling.
She’s leaving next year to pursue the future she worked her ass off for.
Fuck, I’m proud of her. Of course I am.
But there’s this sharp ache in my chest I can’t ignore. All I can think about is that I won’t be there to see it. That sharp little ache doesn’t ask for permission; it just settles in.
She finishes her burger and licks the sauce off her fingers.
My eyes fall to her mouth, and it hits low, my cock thickening fast.
Fuck.
That mouth owns me, and she is completely unaware of it.
I don’t even think. I just blurt out the first thing that comes into my head.
“Do you really think you could ever date someone like me?”
Her fingers freeze mid-lick.
Fuck me, I have to shift in my seat because my cock definitely isn’t sitting right in my jeans anymore.
She blinks slowly, as if she’s trying to figure out whether she misheard or if I’ve truly lost my mind.
“I’m serious,” I say, gaze locked on hers. “Would you?”
She pulls her finger from her mouth so fucking slow I nearly groan. Wipes her hand on a napkin as if she’s buying time, but I see it. That flicker of something in her eyes.
“Someone like you,” she says, tasting the words, “You mean the guy who fucked half the cheer team?”
My mouth twitches. “So you’ve been keeping tabs.”
She rolls her eyes. “You weren’t exactly subtle, Reece.”
I lean in, elbows on the table, a cocky smirk slowly curling at the corner of my mouth. “You say that as if it bothered you.”
She doesn’t answer
So I say it for her.
“No, I wasn’t subtle. I was loud as fuck. I acted like none of it mattered because most of it didn’t. But with you, Red… you were never just another name or another body. You were always the one I noticed when everyone else blurred out.”
Her lips part slightly. That perfect mouth stills as she lifts her head and meets my gaze.
“You were never part of the noise,” I say, my heart pounding as if it’s trying to break through my ribs. “You were the thing I wanted to protect from it. The only thing that ever made me want to be better.”
Silence grows thick between us, hot and charged.
“I know I’ve fucked a lot of things up,” I say. “But I don’t want to screw this up. I don’t want to be that version of myself anymore. Not when you’re sitting across from me, looking at me like I might still have a shot.”
My voice cracks a little on that last word, enough to make it real.
“I want you, Red. Not for the night or for a quick hook-up. This is for fucking real.”
“I don’t know,” she says finally, voice soft.
I watch her blink, trying to make sense of me.
“You confuse me like crazy, Reece. One minute you’re an asshole, throwing out bullshit to piss me off.
Next, you’re telling me stuff no one else gets to hear.
Things that really matter. It’s hard to keep up. ”
“I confuse the hell out of myself too,” I admit.
Sam watches me. She is cautious, waiting for whatever disaster I’m about to create next.
“But I want to date you,” I say, and fuck, it slips out so fast. No filter or safety net. Only the truth, crashing through my chest and into the space between us. “And yeah, I’ve never done that. But I want to try. With you.”
Her lips part. She looks at me as if I’ve completely thrown her off balance.
“Reece…” she breathes, her voice soft and shaken.
“I know what you’re thinking.” My voice is firmer now. “That I’m that guy. I fuck around. That I say the right shit to get what I want and do the wrong thing. That I’m a dick. And I was. I won’t pretend I wasn’t. But not with you, Red. Not anymore.”
She lowers her gaze, and it hurts to watch her fold into herself like that. I can tell she’s uncertain whether to trust me.
“What about the bet?” she asks, voice barely there. “How am I supposed to trust this isn’t just another game?”
I shake my head. “I’ve never told anyone we hooked up. As far as I am concerned, there’s no fucking bet. Not anymore. Not for me.”
She looks up again, and that stare... It pierces through every wall I’ve spent years building.
“I’m not asking you to forget what I’ve done,” I say, voice rough. “I’m asking for a shot to show you I’m not that guy with you.”
Her teeth catch her bottom lip, and I notice it. That flicker of hesitation. The part of her that’s bracing for the punchline. Expecting me to turn this into another fucked-up joke or one of my bullshit games.
“I know my rep’s shit,” I say. “I’ve earned every rumor. Every name I fucked and forgot. I’ve been a dick. No arguments there. But I wouldn’t fuck this up. Not with you, Red. Not when I’ve finally got something real in front of me.”
She watches me like she’s waiting for the cracks to appear, for me to flinch. But I don’t.
Her fingers curl around her cup’s edge. Her eyes remain on mine.
Then a gentle, hesitant nod. “Okay.”
I blink. “Okay?”
She swallows and then lifts her chin.
“I’ll date you,” she says, and my heart fucking jolts. “But on one condition.”
“Anything.” It slips out, breathless. I mean it. I’d crawl across broken glass for a maybe with her.
“No one knows. Not yet,” she says. “Not Jace or Lola. Not anyone. I need time,” she adds.
“To see if this is real. If you’re true to your word.
If I do this, I don’t want eyes on us. I don’t want whispers or bets or people waiting for you to fuck it up.
I want to know you’re choosing me because you mean it. ”
I nod, and this dumb grin pulls at my mouth before I can stop it. “Deal. I’ll keep my mouth shut.”
“Good, because if Jace hears he’ll tell Lola. And if Lola hears—”
I interrupt, saying, “She’ll announce it over the damn school intercom.”
She smiles. I laugh, and it comes out more easily than I expect. A real, full-body laugh that makes my chest feel too big for my ribs.
I’m buzzing. Heart pounding, blood hot, this wild happiness surges through me so quickly I don’t know what to do with it. I want to climb onto the damn table. I want to shout it from the parking lot that she’s my girl.
But I don’t.
I keep it quiet, just like she asked for us.
Still, the grin won’t leave my face. Because for the first time in my loud-as-fuck, fucked-up life, I don’t want to be the center of the chaos. I want to be hers. Quietly. Completely. No games. No noise.
She grabs a fry, pops it in her mouth without realizing she just turned my world upside down.
“Okay, real talk,” she says with her mouth full. “What the fuck is going on with Lola and Jace?”
I raise an eyebrow. “You noticed that too?”
“Please. They practically eye-fuck each other across the cafeteria. Tell me something juicy.”
I lean in and lower my voice. “I’ll tell you something if you keep it to yourself.”
She narrows her eyes. “Spill.”
“Jace has a thing for her.”
Her jaw drops. “No.”
“Oh, yeah.”
“No,” she says again, as if saying it twice will make it less true. “Jace. Mr. I Don’t Catch Feelings. I don’t kiss on the lips. Mr. I’d fuck a shadow if it stood still long enough?”
I smirk. “Well, apparently shadows aren’t doing it for him anymore.”
She shakes her head, stunned. “Holy shit.”
“Dude’s been acting weird for weeks. More moody than usual. Even for Jace.”
She leans across the table, eyes wide. “Do you think Lola knows?” She grins, and damn, the way her whole face lights up, yeah, I’d hold onto this quiet moment forever if it means I get to be the one who makes her smile like that.
I take a bite of my burger, finally hungry now that the world isn’t falling apart around me.
“I think it’s Jace doing his usual player stuff,” Sam says, popping a fry into her mouth. “Dropping charm and showing off that whole emotionally unavailable thing he thinks makes him irresistible.”
She grabs her shake, swirls the straw with her finger, and keeps her eyes on me as if she’s waiting for backup.
“It’s his classic move,” I say, smirking. “Works every time.”
“Not on Lola.” She shakes her head, grinning. “That girl’s got a bullshit radar that could bring down an aircraft.”