Cry Madness

Chapter 1

ONE

“Begin at the beginning and go on till you come to the end: then stop.”

—King of Hearts, Alice in Wonderland

Wonderland

Hilltop Academy

Graduation Night

Ishould be afraid.

Any girl in her right mind would be terrified.

But I’m not any girl…

…and Maddox Hathorne isn’t just any guy.

Wonderland’s wicked bad boy has me pinned against the purple wisteria next to the giant chessboard that lies at the heart of the maze behind my house.

My every erratic heartbeat pounds almost painfully against my sternum as his hands explore my body.

He growls my name low against my lips, the deep rumble of his voice a delicious vibration under the hypnotic melody of Soap&Skin’s “Me and the Devil” playing on my cell phone lying somewhere nearby.

But Maddox breaks the kiss, just for a moment, to catch his breath before he dives back in with renewed vigor.

He tastes like sin, sweltering nights, and other dark and taboo things.

Countless times throughout the years, we’ve been here, in this very spot, but only as friends.

Tonight, though, everything feels… different.

The air around us seemed to crackle with anticipation as I followed him inside the maze.

I felt the shift and knew that, for the first time, I’m not here with my best friend.

Tonight, Maddox is someone I’ve only caught glimpses of over the years.

Tonight, he’s the person everyone in Wonderland fears.

We both received an invitation to Ivory and Scarlett’s party.

Yet, when Maddox mentioned he didn’t plan on attending the celebration that would mark the end of our time at Hilltop Academy, I felt like there was an underlying meaning to his decision.

I knew right then and there that I wouldn’t be going either.

And now, we’re here, alone, with the entire world faded into the background.

Well, maybe not the entire world.

My father’s shadow is still cast heavily over me. How can it not be? He’s dying, and there’s not a thing his doctors were able to do to slow the cancer.

My mother put away my father’s beloved, two-foot-tall chess pieces even though I begged her not to. Little by little, she’s erasing him, wiping his legacy clean. In her relentless effort to keep Maddox and me apart, she likely mistakenly believed that we would stop coming here if they were gone.

Wrong.

When we couldn’t play chess anymore because she took away the pieces, we still kept the center of the maze as our private little spot.

We’d sit here for hours on the chessboard, playing cards while listening to our favorite songs.

From poker to war, he taught me all of his favorites—and he’d win almost every time.

Fair.

He’s fabulous at cards but terrible at chess and never bitched when I’d beat him at the game.

But tonight…

We didn’t come here to play cards.

Against the thick and knotted trunk, Maddox kicks my legs apart at the ankles and steps in closer to occupy the cozy space he created. The last thing on my mind is to stop him as he glides his smooth palm up the outside of my bare thigh. His touch sparks a delightful burning in its wake.

With my arms wrapped around his waist, I hug him tighter, loving how the warmth of his body seeps through my breezy yellow sundress.

I’ve waited years for his lips to touch mine and his hands to roam my skin.

Now that I have him right where I need him, I never want to let him go, and when he pulls his mouth away and offers me that confident, crooked smile, it stirs a flurry of butterflies in the pit of my stomach.

Never have I seen anyone as devastating as Maddox Hathorne. He’s lethally beautiful—especially considering the rumors people whisper about him.

I made a promise to myself that whoever he is when he’s not with me is none of my business.

All I care about is that he’ll never hurt me.

Never make me cry. He’s always been my strength when I’m weak, my humor when I’m sad, and my champion when I’m scared.

Breathing him in, I savor his signature vetiver aroma.

It’s rich and earthy—very…him. He studies my face as he trails a finger down the bridge of my nose.

Then he traces that finger along my lower lip, his touch a slight tickle that has me smiling.

His other hand playfully fidgets with the spaghetti straps of my dress, sliding them up and down over my sunburnt shoulder.

“I want to tell you a story.” His voice is deep and rough, with the words spoken slowly and almost thoughtfully, which is unusual for him.

Maddox exudes frenetic energy and often behaves impulsively. March—another orphaned boy who has become a brother toward him—and I made a pact. It’s our mission to keep him grounded.

My brows shoot up. “A story?”

Nodding, he begins, “Once upon a time, there was a lonely and bitter little boy who lost everything the day his parents died. This little boy began having manic thoughts buzzing around inside his head. Jumbled thoughts. Loud thoughts. Dangerous thoughts. These thoughts drove the little boy crazy, making him want to do even crazier things—sometimes terrible things, which Roman McQueen has always used to his benefit. But one day, a little girl arrived like a ray of sunshine, wearing a whimsical blue dress with a floppy bow right here.” He taps the space below my collarbone.

“From that day forward, the little boy did his best to be a good person for the little girl.” He brushes the tip of his nose over mine, and I struggle against the urge to melt into him.

“I mess up a lot, Alice, and I’m no Prince Charming, but I always strive to be my best self. For you. Only for you.”

I didn’t think I could love Maddox more, but his story proved me wrong.

I also know it wasn’t easy for him after he lost his parents in that fire.

He was only six when it happened and was immediately brought to Horizons, the orphanage owned by Roman McQueen.

On the surface, it’s a haven for abandoned boys.

Dig deeper, and the truth bleeds out—that Roman handpicks those five children to mold into soldiers in his relentless quest to maintain his hold on Wonderland.

Maddox, eighteen now, is Roman’s most prized weapon.

“You don’t have to be better.” I lift onto my tiptoes to feather a kiss across his lips. “You’re perfectly imperfect exactly as you are.”

He thrusts his hips forward to grind his hard length against me. “Thank God you think so.”

I’m breathless, those butterflies beating their wings wildly in my belly as he slowly slides the straps down my arms. His fingers graze my skin, and I part my lips with a soft sigh when he bares my breasts.

No one has ever seen me naked, but it doesn’t even enter my mind to be embarrassed.

Not with him, and when I kick off my sandals and let the dress pool at my feet, I’m standing there in only underwear as if it’s the most natural thing in the world.

“Oh God, Alice,” he breathes. “You’re fucking beautiful.” His gaze scorches me as he runs a single finger along the elastic of my hideously plain white panties. “Let me take these off, yes?”

With a stilted nod, I whisper, “Yes.”

He pushes my underwear down my legs, and again, embarrassment stays tucked away inside a little box at the back of my mind. I watch in amazed silence when his fingers fumble with the button of his black, baggy cargo pants. “You make my hands shake,” he mutters, struggling with the zipper.

That’s the nicest compliment he’s ever given me.

I stop him, placing my hands over his. “I’ll do it.”

As I carefully remove the gold watch from Maddox’s front pocket, he allows his arms to fall to his sides and fixes his unwavering gaze on me.

I delicately place the timepiece on the ground, watching with a mix of curiosity and awe as he removes his top hat, exquisite military-inspired brocade waistcoat, and boots.

He lifts a brow, and the arrogance etched all over his beautiful face makes me want to meet the challenge in his eyes.

But my fingers tremble, fumbling as I pop open the buttons of his pants…

…only for me to gasp again—this time in surprise. “You’re pierced!”

“Am I?” Feigning shock, he looks down at the silver barbell speared through the head of his very long and very thick penis. “Holy shit.”

I roll my eyes and give him a playful punch to the chest. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

He shrugs. “Don’t know. Guess I wanted it to be a surprise.”

“Oh, I’m surprised, alright,” I admit. “Did it hurt?”

“Like a motherfucker,” he confesses with a gruff laugh.

I chew the inside of my mouth a second before asking, “Can I… Can I touch it?”

His sexy smirk damn near ruins me. “Yeah, I’m yours. You can do whatever you want to me, Alice.”

Good Lord…

Those words send a delicious rush through me.

I’ve never felt as alive, so aware of…everything.

Of him. I reach out with a mix of hesitation and curiosity, amazed by how he truly is a living work of art.

His skin feels warm and tightly stretched over taut muscle that flexes gently under my touch, and as I glide my hand lower, I can feel his well-defined abdominals tensing beneath my palm.

“Keep going,” he rasps, and when I take him in my hand, his moan sends a thrill skidding up my spine.

This most intimate part of him feels…odd. Silky and smooth, yet hard as steel. He hisses when I run my fingers over the metal barbell. I leap back, rushing out an apology. “Sorry. Oh, God, Maddox, I didn’t mean to hurt you.”

“You didn’t.” His assurance is a broken rasp. “It’s a glans ampallang piercing, in case you’re wondering, and if you keep playing with it, this won’t last long.”

Curious about the intricacies of the piercing, I ignore his warning and go right back to playing with it, relishing how he squirms when I stroke him and tug on the jewelry. The hoarse sounds he’s making encourage me as I slide my palm up and down his rigid shaft.