Chapter 6
DANE
Iwas reviewing the latest subscriber numbers when I heard Lucas’s unmistakable voice echo through the office, followed by what sounded like a parade of jingle bells.
He’d worn a ridiculous Santa costume last month that was laden with bells. The only good thing about the costume was there was zero chance someone didn’t know he was coming. I had considered making him wear a bell all the time.
What the hell was he up to now?
I looked up from my laptop to see Lucas making his way through the open floor plan wearing a pair of glittery pink wings strapped to his back.
They were enormous, clearly homemade, with what appeared to be actual feathers hot-glued to a wire frame.
There were flashing pink lights around the edges.
They bounced with every step he took, jiggling the bells that hung from the contraption.
He was wearing a red shirt and white slacks in one of the tackiest ensembles I’d ever seen.
He was also carrying a large wicker basket decorated with red and pink ribbons, pulling small, wrapped packages out of it like some deranged Valentine’s fairy godmother.
“Happy Valentine Exchange Day!” he announced to the office at large. I watched several of the matchmakers cheer while the IT team collectively groaned.
Of course. The gift exchange. The thing I’d temporarily forgotten about in my attempt to survive the week without thinking about the photoshoot.
Lucas was distributing gifts with the enthusiasm of a man who had clearly mainlined coffee. Through my open office door, I watched him approach Ina’s desk. She looked up from whatever she was working on, saw the wings, and her entire face lit up.
“Oh my God, Lucas, those are awesome!”
“Custom made by yours truly,” Lucas said proudly, doing a little spin that made the wings flap. “Well, technically custom made by a very talented Etsy seller I commissioned, but I added the extra glitter myself. I’m Cupid today, spreading love and joy through the sacred art of gift-giving.”
Ina laughed and I found myself leaning slightly forward in my chair to hear better.
“You look very official,” she told him. “But I thought Cupid wore a diaper.”
He waggled his eyebrows. “I’m wearing red boxers, does that count?”
She burst into laughter. “I guess that’s close enough.”
“I don’t think the boss would let me get away with the diaper, but I’ll run it by him.” He reached into his basket and pulled out a gift. The damn thing was wrapped in what looked like one of the brochures from the lobby.
My frown was automatic. That was Ina’s gift?
What the fuck, Keith? You could have made some effort.
Ina took it with both hands, still smiling, thanking Lucas with genuine enthusiasm despite the fact that her gift looked like it had been wrapped by a drunk raccoon.
Then Lucas turned toward my office.
“And for our fearless leader,” Lucas announced, sweeping into my office with a flourish that made his wings knock against the doorframe. He set a box on my desk with a reverence usually reserved for holy relics.
The box was a work of art. Heart-shaped, wrapped in gold paper that caught the light, and covered in hand-glued pink pompoms. They were everywhere.
Different sizes, different shades of pink, arranged in what might have been a deliberate pattern or might have been chaos.
I couldn’t tell. But someone had clearly spent hours on this.
“Your secret admirer has excellent taste,” Lucas said, waggling his eyebrows.
“It’s Secret Santa, not secret admirer.”
“Secret Cupid,” Lucas corrected. “We’re spreading love, Dane. Try to keep up with the theme.”
“Will you dress up as a leprechaun next month?” I muttered.
“That’s your job, my Irish friend.”
“I’ll wear a Chewbacca costume before I ever insult my heritage.”
He grinned at that. “Ohhh, now that’s a good idea.”
I stared at the box. This had taken time. Effort. Thought.
My eyes flicked to Ina’s desk. She used one of her bedazzled red nails to cut through the twenty-two yards of scotch tape that had been wrapped around the monstrosity that was her gift.
“Well?” Lucas prompted. “Aren’t you going to open it?”
“I’m working.”
“You’re always working. Open the gift, appreciate the love, and then you can go back to being a grouch.” He leaned against my desk, clearly settling in for a show.
With a sigh, I pulled the box closer and lifted the lid. Inside, nestled in pink tissue paper, was a small book.
“Jokes for Those Unfortunate Enough to Have a Sense of Humor Drier Than the Sahara Desert: A Comprehensive Guide to Making Others Laugh (Even When You Don’t)”
I stared at it.
Lucas peered over. “Oh, that’s perfect. That’s chef’s kiss perfect. Who got you? Do you know?”
I ignored him, too busy fighting the smile that was trying to force its way onto my face. Someone thought my humor was dry. And instead of being insulted or trying to change it, they’d leaned into it. Like the person accepted it was part of who I was and not a flaw to be fixed.
I traced the embossed title on the cover and nodded. Not bad.
“Dane? You good?”
“It’s fine,” I managed, carefully placing the lid back on the box before Lucas could see my expression. “Tell whoever it is thank you.”
“You know I can’t do that. It’s a secret exchange. The whole point is secrecy. I swear, you never listen to me. Do I need to make you a PowerPoint or something?”
“I know what the point is, Lucas.” I paused. “You like coming to work in costumes.”
He grinned, adjusted his wings, and took a bow. “It’s good for morale.”
“Well, go spread your cheer down the hall,” I said, nodding toward the door.
“With pleasure.” He sauntered out of my office, already calling out to his next victim. “Grant Monohan, it’s time for a visit from Cupid.”
I pulled the book back out of the heart-shaped box and opened it to a random page.
“What do you call someone who’s always negative? A pessimist. What do you call someone who thinks everything is terrible? Correct.”
I snorted despite myself.
I looked up to see if Ina had managed to get her gift unwrapped.
And yep. She did. She was holding a black stapler.
My eyes drifted to the exact same stapler on the corner of my desk.
The damn thing had clearly come from the supply closet.
Even worse, it was completely at odds with everything else on her desk.
Her desk, which she’d carefully curated over the past month with a pink desk organizer, a mug full of colorful pens, and about six different types of sticky notes, all in neon colors.
The stapler looked like it had been dropped there by accident. Or as a joke. A mean one.
I watched Ina turn it over in her hands, clearly trying to figure out if there was something she was missing. Maybe it did something special? Maybe it came with a gift card tucked inside? Or maybe there was a note explaining the sentiment behind it?
But no. It was just a crappy stapler.
Two of the matchmakers walked past her desk on their way to the break room.
“What’d you get, Ina?” one of them asked.
Ina’s face immediately brightened into a smile that didn’t quite reach her eyes. “A stapler! It’s actually perfect—mine broke last week and I’ve been meaning to get a new one.”
That was a lie. I’d seen her use her stapler this very morning. The ka-chunk of it had annoyed me, but the intense look of concentration on her face was cute as hell. The tip of her tongue stuck out between her pursed lips as she made sure each staple was perfectly aligned.
Her attention to detail was weirdly sexy to me. She worked like she gave a shit, even for something as simple as stapling packets for a meeting later. It spoke highly of her character.
The matchmakers oohed appropriately and moved on. Ina’s smile faded the second they were out of sight. She set the stapler on the corner of her desk and went back to her computer.
Something hot and uncomfortable twisted in my chest. The same feeling I’d had when I’d seen her at that deli counter, being pushed around and talked over and nearly in tears over trying to order food.
The feeling that someone wasn’t treating her with the respect she deserved.
Which was ridiculous, because Ina wasn’t my responsibility beyond her role as my assistant. What she got from her Secret Cupid was none of my business. The exchange was supposed to be fun and lighthearted.
Ina had gotten a stapler.
From Keith.
Because I’d given Keith her name.
Fuck.
I sat back in my chair, rubbing a hand over my face.
This was my fault. I’d traded with Keith specifically to avoid having to buy gifts for Ina, and Keith had responded by putting in the absolute minimum effort.
Of course he had. Keith didn’t actually care about the gift exchange.
He had clearly just wrapped up a stapler from the office and called it a day. Lazy prick.
Ina deserved better than this crap.
I was still stewing about it when Norma appeared in my doorway, knocking lightly on the frame even though the door was wide open. “Got a minute?”
I gestured for her to come in. “For you, absolutely.”
“Quick question about tomorrow’s commercial shoot. Do you want me to have someone cover Ina’s desk while you’re both gone? It’s going to be an all-day thing according to Heidi’s production schedule.”
I frowned. “All day? It’s a thirty-second commercial.”
Norma gave me a look that was equal parts patient and pitying.
“Dane, you know how this works. It’s a professional production with a full crew.
There’s going to be multiple takes, costume changes, lighting adjustments, makeup touch-ups.
You’re going to be there from at least six in the morning until probably six at night. Maybe longer.”
The thought of spending twelve hours with Ina, pretending to be in love with her for the cameras, made my collar feel too tight. And my pants.
“Fine,” I said. “Have someone cover her desk. As long as whoever it is takes that ridiculous stapler she got and throws it in the dumpster behind the building.”
Norma blinked. “I’m sorry, what?”
I hadn’t meant to say that out loud. Definitely hadn’t meant to say it with quite that much bitterness.
“Nothing,” I muttered. “Never mind.”
Norma looked at me for a long moment, but before she could question me, Lucas’s voice cut through the awkward moment.
“My baby!” Lucas exclaimed.
We both looked out the door to see Lucas spinning in a circle, his wings flashing as he held up a pair of cufflinks. It was difficult to tell from a distance but they looked like they were shaped like little dogs.
“My secret Cupid got me bulldog cufflinks!” he shouted to half of Manhattan. “Custom bulldog cufflinks! Look at the little faces! They have little grumpy faces just like Bruce!”
Several people clapped. Someone whistled. Lucas looked like he might actually cry with joy. Now that was a thoughtful gift.
Norma smiled and shook her head. “I sometimes wonder if that boy ever has a sad day.”
She left me alone in my office.
I had three more weeks of this exchange. I looked at the stapler on Ina’s desk again.
One more week. I’d give Keith one more week to prove he was capable of putting in even a modicum of effort. And if next week’s gift was another disaster?
Then I would step in.
It wasn’t about Ina specifically. It was about fairness. I wanted to make sure the exchange was actually fun for everyone involved.
I slipped the joke book into my briefcase to read later.