Chapter 29
INA
The restaurant Dane took me to was a surprise. I had expected some trendy spot in Tribeca with a months-long waitlist and a menu full of things I’d never heard of before. I knew he liked the finer things in life. Nothing wrong with that. He had certainly earned his place in the world.
We were in Chinatown, standing outside a slightly run-down restaurant with faded red awnings and hand-written specials taped to the window.
“This is your favorite restaurant?” I asked, not unkindly. Just taken aback.
“This is where my parents used to take me when we first moved here.” He held open the door for me. “When we couldn’t afford much else. Mrs. Chen, who owns it, always gave me extra dumplings when she thought my parents weren’t looking. She said they would make me big and strong.”
“Mrs. Chen might have been onto something,” I said, patting his broad chest.
The interior was just as worn as the exterior.
Red vinyl booths with duct tape holding the seams together, old-school hanging lamps and laminated menus that had clearly been around since the nineties.
Paper placemats with the Chinese zodiac.
But it was clean and warm, and the smell of garlic and ginger made my mouth water immediately.
An older woman appeared from the kitchen, took one look at Dane, and started shouting something in Cantonese that sounded both delighted and scolding.
“Hi, Mrs. Chen,” Dane said, affection in his voice. “I know I need to visit more often.”
She ushered us to a corner booth and disappeared into the kitchen without taking our order.
“What’s happening?” I asked with confusion.
“She’s making us the special menu. Which means we’re about to have way too much food and she’s going to be offended if we don’t eat all of it. There will definitely be leftovers.”
“Breakfast,” I said with a grin.
Heat flashed in his eyes and I knew exactly what he was thinking.
“You really came here as a kid?” I asked.
“Every Sunday for the first few years we were here. My dad would work overtime during the week and my mom was doing night shifts at the hospital where she was training. Sunday was the only day we could all sit down together.” He nodded at the young woman who delivered water and what I assumed were glasses of Pepsi.
“My brothers hated it. They wanted McDonald’s, wanted to fit in.
But I loved it here. I liked that we all got to sit and eat together and no one was judging us for being the odd man out. ”
“Are you close to your brothers?”
He grimaced. “Unfortunately, no. Not really.”
“Why not?”
“As the oldest, I had to be the responsible one and they resented me for it, like I was an asshole for trying to keep them on the straight and narrow. And when I actually became successful?” He shrugged. “It made things worse, not better.”
The first round of food was delivered. Dumplings, scallion pancakes, and spring rolls.
I took a bite and nodded as I chewed. “So good.”
“Told you.”
“Why did success make things worse with your brothers?” I asked.
He sighed. “Story as old as time.”
“Jealousy?”
“Greed,” Dane said with a sad shake of his head. “They showed up with their hands out, so I offered them jobs with Cupid’s Arrow. But they never showed up. They just wanted to collect a paycheck.”
“I’m sorry. That sucks.” I chewed on a spring roll thoughtfully. “You’re probably better off. Working with family can make things messy. Feelings are bound to get hurt.”
He nodded. “You’re not wrong.”
“What about your parents?” I asked. “You said they moved back to Ireland?”
“Three years ago. My dad retired and my mom was tired of the noise. They’d always planned to go back eventually.” He paused. “I offered to buy them a house here. A nice one, in a good neighborhood. They said no.”
“Why?”
“Because they wanted to go home. And New York was never really home for them, no matter how long they lived here.” He looked at me. “They wanted me to come with them. Start over in Dublin, maybe open an international branch of Cupid’s Arrow. They couldn’t understand why I wanted to stay.”
“Do you ever think about it? Going back?”
“Sometimes,” he said finally. “When I’m stressed or tired or questioning what I’m doing with my life. But I’ve been here since I was ten. This is home now, even if it was hard to fit in. Even if it cost me things.”
“Like what?”
“Like my relationship with my parents. Like being close to my brothers.” He stopped, seeming to choose his words carefully. “Like any semblance of a life outside of work. My work is my life.”
Something about that comment settled uncomfortably in my chest.
“Your whole life is work,” I said quietly.
“Pretty much. The company is everything. It’s what I built from nothing. It’s what made me successful.”
I nodded and smiled at the server who delivered platters of what appeared to be some kind of chicken, veggies, and lo mein.
“What?” he asked.
“Nothing. It’s just…” I pushed a piece of chicken around my plate. “What happens when work isn’t enough anymore?”
“What do you mean?”
“I mean, what happens when you want more?”
“I don’t know.” He shook his head. “I don’t know if that will ever happen.”
My beautiful fantasy of me and him and a couple of kids was evaporating in front of my eyes. What had I been thinking? Dane was never going to be the suburban husband and father. It just wasn’t in him.
His phone buzzed on the table. He glanced at it, frowned, and I saw his whole demeanor shift.
“What’s wrong?”
“Another IT emergency. The update rollout is causing problems.” He was already standing, pulling out his wallet. “I need to go in. I’m sorry, but I promised Henry I wouldn’t leave him in the lurch.”
“I’ll come with you.”
“You don’t have to.”
“I want to.” I was already grabbing my coat. “Besides, it’ll save me from having to catch up on Monday or getting pulled in on the weekend.”
“You don’t have to pull my arm,” he said. “Let’s go.”
The drive to the office was quiet, both of us lost in our own thoughts. I kept replaying his words: my whole life is work. I kept wondering where that left us. Where that left me. What happened when he got bored? What happened when work emergencies piled up?
I couldn’t work for a man I had fallen for and seen naked. A man that had seen me naked. Then just pretend nothing ever happened. A relationship like this would end up all or nothing.
The office was mostly dark when we arrived, just a few lights on in IT and the matchmaking area. I followed Dane off the elevator and we dove right into the IT kerfuffle. I didn’t know much about IT but I was able to help once they told me what I was looking for.
I got absorbed in the work. Before I knew it, I blinked and two hours had gone by. My eyes needed a rest and my mouth needed some coffee. I went to the breakroom to make some.
A few matchmakers were sitting at one of the tables, one with a laptop and the other with a tablet. They looked stressed.
“Late night?” I asked.
“Difficult match.” One of them said, rubbing her eyes. “Guy created a profile that’s so specific and so contradictory that the algorithm keeps failing. But we think we finally found someone who might work.”
“That’s great.”
“Yeah, if we can get the new interface to cooperate long enough to actually make the match.” She turned back to her screen. “What are you doing here?”
“Emergency with the update. I came in to help.” I stretched my back. “I’m starting to drag ass, though.”
“That’s dedication.”
Keith appeared at my elbow before I could respond. “So,” he said, leaning against the counter. “You and Dane. Out on a Friday night. Together.”
My stomach dropped. “He takes me out occasionally. For the campaign. You know, publicity for Heidi’s Valentine’s thing.”
Keith’s expression shifted to something calculating. “Right. The campaign. The fake dating thing.”
“Exactly.”
“Makes sense. Company policy prohibits inter-office dating anyway, so obviously it’s just for show.” He was watching my face too closely. “You’d know that better than anyone, being his secretary.”
“Of course.”
“Although it’s interesting that you came in to help with an IT emergency. You’re a real team player.”
“I’m just doing my part.”
He smirked. I couldn’t say what it was exactly, but I knew I didn’t like Keith. I reminded myself he was Dane’s friend and had helped him get the company off the ground, but I was pretty certain he was a snake.
“Yeah?” Keith said, that smirk still in place. “I guess you’ll do just about anything for a company you just started working at. I wonder what lengths you’ll go through to keep your boss happy.”
My stomach churned. There was no way Dane would have told him, which meant he was just guessing. But it still made me feel icky. “You’re a real weird guy, Keith. Has anyone ever told you that?”
“It was nice of you to come in to help with the IT issue,” Dane said, breaking in. He approached us. His eyes were apologizing even as his words contradicted what I’d just told Keith.
Something cold settled in my stomach. “Yeah. Of course. Happy to help.”
Keith’s head turned toward us, and I saw the suspicion bloom on his face.
“I should drive you home,” Dane said. “It’s gotten late.”
“I actually have some work to catch up on. Since I’m here anyway.” I couldn’t look at him. “I’ll talk to you tomorrow.” I realized my mistake immediately. “I mean Monday. Obviously. Since tomorrow is Saturday.”
The correction only called more attention to my slip.
“Monday, then.” Dane’s jaw was tight. “Have a good weekend.”
Keith was still watching me from across the office. The matchmakers were still working on their difficult profile, oblivious to the disaster I had just created.
I had just lied to Keith about why we were together. And then Dane had immediately contradicted that lie. And now Keith was looking at me like he’d just figured out a secret we’d been trying to keep.
I went back to making the coffee. I didn’t know what else to do. I felt ridiculous. I knew my cheeks were red.
And Keith was still standing there watching me like he’d just been handed ammunition he’d been looking for.
And I had no idea what he was going to do with it.