Chapter 35
INA
Iwas sitting at the kitchen table, nursing a cup of bitter coffee, when Abby stumbled in.
“You’re here,” she said.
“Where else would I be? I’m unemployed, unloved, and unhinged.”
“Exactly.” She walked over to the coffeemaker and poured herself a cup before sliding into the other chair at our tiny little table. “I thought maybe you’d be out slashing Dane’s tires or spray-painting obscenities on his building.”
“I don’t slash tires,” I said.
“I could show you.”
I frowned. “I don’t think that’s something you teach people. I don’t break laws.”
She shrugged. “I slashed my ex’s tires when I was in high school. Did it solve anything? No. Did it make me feel awesome? Hell yeah, baby.”
“Abby! You could have told me I was moving in with a criminal.”
She waved a dismissive hand. “Says the insurance fraudster.”
“I guess we’re both hardened criminals,” I said.
She giggled. “So, how are you doing?”
“Terrible.”
“Have you talked to Dane?”
“Absolutely not.” Three days. It had been three days since I spoke with him.
“What are you going to do?”
“I don’t know,” I sighed. “Maybe I’m having a breakdown. Is this what a breakdown feels like?”
“Probably. Want to talk about it?”
“Not really.”
“Talk anyway.”
I sighed and took another sip of my coffee that had gone lukewarm. “Abby, am I being too hard on him?”
“Yep.”
“That was fast.”
She looked at me with a soft smile. “Look, what Dane said to Keith was shitty. I’m not defending that. But you have to consider the context. He was cornered by someone who was threatening to destroy both of your careers, and he panicked.”
“He said love wasn’t real. He said it was just a transaction.” I put my mug down too hard. “I know for a fact he used to believe that. Now he says he’s changed, but behind my back, he’s still singing the same old tune. Which version of Dane should I believe?”
“He said a lot of things he didn’t mean to protect you from Keith’s vendetta.”
“Did he though?” I felt tears threatening again. “Or did he just say what he actually believes and I accidentally overheard it?”
Abby was quiet for a second. She sipped her coffee and then looked at me. “You think he doesn’t know how to love you.”
“I think he doesn’t know what love is outside of what he can see on a screen. He’s all about the science. Guys like that can’t see beyond the lines they live in.” I wiped my eyes. “It was about how he sees love in general. And that makes me so sad, Abby. Maybe he’s incapable of love with anyone.”
“Or maybe he’s just scared and stupid, like most men. You know they are emotionally stunted.” She shrugged. “In my experience anyway.”
“Maybe.” I grabbed my laptop from the coffee table. “Can we not talk about this anymore? Please? I need to forget about him. I want to pretend he never happened.”
“Oka, what are you doing?”
“Job searching.” I pulled up Indeed and started scrolling. “I need to find something fast. I have savings, but not enough to last more than a month in this city.”
Abby leaned over to look at my screen. “You’re looking at jobs in Wyoming.”
“So?”
“So you promised me you wouldn’t run back home at the first sign of trouble.”
“I promised I wouldn’t move back. I didn’t promise I wouldn’t look.
I’m letting destiny steer the way. If my dream job is in Wyoming, I’ll know where I’m supposed to be.
” I scrolled past an administrative assistant position at a hospital in Cheyenne.
“Besides, what else am I going to do? I can’t work at Cupid’s Arrow anymore.
And with my limited resume, I can’t compete with the hundreds of other applicants that are going to be vying for the same job. ”
A listing for an office manager position in Jackson caught my eye. It offered a decent salary by Wyoming standards. Benefits. Normal hours. No billionaire bosses who needed algorithms to validate their feelings.
I clicked to save it and felt tears start falling again.
“Oh, honey.” Abby pulled me into a hug. “You know you don’t want to leave.”
I sobbed. “No.”
“You really love him.”
“I really do. And I hate that I do. I hate that I can’t just turn it off. I hate that every time I close my eyes I see him and I remember what it felt like to think he loved me back.”
She nudged me with her elbow. “Maybe he does love you back.”
“Not the way I need him to.”
I felt tears running down my face. I wondered how many times a person could cry over the same thing before they ran out of tears. Apparently, I hadn’t reached that limit yet.
My phone rang, giving me the distraction I needed. I pulled back to check the screen. Unknown number.
“Don’t answer it,” Abby said. “It could be Dane. He might be getting smarter and blocking his number. Or he could be using a burner.”
I answered anyway, if only to have something to do other than cry. “Hello?”
“Ina, it’s Norma. Do you have a few minutes to talk?”
My stomach dropped. “Um, maybe Mr. Kavanagh didn’t tell you, but I quit.”
I had zero desire to hear the findings of her little investigation. Shame on Dane for not telling her and making her waste her time.
“Dane did tell me. Can we meet? There’s a coffee shop near the office. I can be there in twenty minutes if you’re free.”
“Norma, if this is about what happened with Dane, I’d rather just move on.”
“It’s not. Well, not exactly. Please, Ina. Twenty minutes.”
She hung up before I could argue.
I looked at Abby. “Norma wants to meet.”
“Why?”
“I don’t know. But I didn’t say no.”
“Do you want me to come with you?”
“No. I should handle this myself. It’s not like she can fire me. I already quit, so ha ha. Joke’s on her.” I stood up and looked down at my sweatpants and oversized T-shirt. “I should probably change into something a little more dignified first.”
“Probably.”
Twenty-five minutes later, I walked into the coffee shop to find Norma already there, two coffees on the table in front of her.
“I got you a latte,” she said when I sat down. “Oat milk, right?”
“Right. Thank you.” I eyed her warily. “What is this about? I’m not going to sue you, if that’s why you’re being so nice.”
Norma shook her head. “I want to offer you a job.”
I blinked. “Oh, no, is this a stress dream? I used to have one where I showed up to class with loose teeth. Is this going to replace it?”
“Ina, no.” Norma laughed. “This isn’t a dream.”
“Okay, because I haven’t been getting a lot of sleep and everything is kind of running together now.” I took a long swig of latte. “Work your magic, sweet caffeine.”
“So the job,” Norma said, getting me back on track.
“It’s a different position within Cupid’s Arrow.
Head of the Matchmaking Department. We’re separating the matchmakers from IT, giving them their own budget and autonomy.
You’d be responsible for building the team, managing operations and basically overseeing the department. ”
I stared at her. “Norma, I can’t. I don’t work for Cupid’s Arrow anymore.”
“I understand that,” she said, waving my words away. “Which is why I’m offering you a new job.”
“Is this Dane’s idea?” I snapped. “Promoting me? Moving me to a different department? Is this his way of trying to fix things? Is he trying to buy me off?”
“No.” Norma’s voice was firm. “This is my idea. And before you interrupt again, let me finish.”
I closed my mouth. Norma could be very commanding when she wanted to be.
“I’ve been working on this for weeks, even before everything happened with you and Dane.
The matchmakers need their own department.
Dane and I already talked about opening the position last week.
The job wasn’t created just for you. I’ve been interviewing people, but I already know you’d be perfect for this role. ”
“I don’t understand.”
“You know this company inside and out. And you actually believe in what we do. You believe in love. You understand it in a way that most people at Cupid’s Arrow don’t, including Dane.”
I laughed, but it came out bitter. “I don’t know anything about love, Norma. If I did, I wouldn’t have fallen for my boss who needed an algorithm to tell him it was okay to care about me.”
“You know more about it than anyone at this company,” Norma said quietly. “You know that it’s messy and complicated and doesn’t always make sense. That’s exactly what the matchmakers need in a leader.”
“Even if that were true—and I’m not saying it is—I can’t take a job from Dane. I can’t work at Cupid’s Arrow anymore. Not after everything that happened.”
“You wouldn’t be working for Dane. You’d be a department head, same level as Heidi and Lucas. You’d report to the board, not to him. Completely separate chains of command.”
“That doesn’t change the fact that he’s the CEO. I would have to see him. I can’t see him every day and know he’s never going to reciprocate those feelings.”
Norma sighed and almost looked sad. “You misheard him.”
“What?”
“What Dane said to Keith—you misheard him. Or misunderstood him.” She seemed to be choosing her words carefully, which I didn’t understand. “He was lying to protect you and said things he didn’t mean.”
“He said love wasn’t real. Those words came out of his mouth, Norma. I was standing right there.”
“Keith was threatening to destroy both of your careers, and Dane was trying to make it go away.” She leaned forward. “I’m not saying what he said was right. It wasn’t. It was stupid and hurtful and exactly the wrong thing to say. But it wasn’t true.”
“How do you know?”
“Because I was in a board meeting with him this morning. And when they tried to make him fire you and gave him the easy out, he told them the truth. He put his entire position as CEO at risk to protect you.”
I felt like I’d been punched in the stomach. “What?”
“The board wanted him to fire you. It would have been the easiest solution. But Dane refused. He told them if anyone should be reprimanded, it should be him. He admitted everything, knowing it could cost him leadership of the company.”
I couldn’t breathe. “Why didn’t he tell me?”
“Are you taking his calls?”
I winced because obviously I hadn’t. I stared at my coffee with my mind racing.
“Dane believes in love as much as you do,” Norma said quietly. “He’s just never allowed himself to feel it. He doesn’t know how to trust it. Trusting it means being vulnerable, and Dane does not do vulnerability.”
“I can’t fix him, Norma. I can’t be the one to teach him how to love without needing data to back it up. That’s not fair to me.”
“I’m not asking you to fix him. I’m asking you to think about taking this job.
A job you’re qualified for. A job that would be yours because you earned it, not because of any relationship with Dane.
” She slid a folder across the table. “The job description. The salary range. The benefits. Look it over. Think about it. And if you decide you want to interview, let me know.”
“I don’t know if I can work there knowing he’s there too.”
“Then don’t decide now. Take a few days. Think about what you want—not what Dane wants, but what you want for your career.” She stood. “For what it’s worth, I think you’d be fantastic at this. And I think the matchmakers would be lucky to have you.”
She left, and I sat there staring at the folder.
Head of Matchmaking Department.
It was an amazing opportunity. Probably the best opportunity I would ever get with my limited experience. It was a chance to do something meaningful with a team I actually liked.
And all I’d have to do was work in the same building as the man who broke my heart.
I picked up the folder and walked home. I tried to figure out what I actually wanted.
I didn’t know.
But at least now I had options.