Chapter 26 #2
He moves closer, his delicious scent swirling around me, and I try not to react.
Try not to show how much I want him because Lizzy doesn’t know, which is really annoying.
If they had just allowed me to tell her and have her sign some sort of NDA as well, then I could talk to someone about this…
situation. My eyes flicker to Sophie for a moment. I guess I could talk to her.
Would that be weird?
Sophie stands up, kissing either side of Jax’s cheek. “How are you, darling?” she asks, grabbing both his hands.
“Doing well.” He mirrors Sophie, nods hello towards Lizzy, then moves to give me a hug. His large hands press onto my lower back. “Glad you came.”
“Not yet,” I tease, causing him to chuckle.
“Not yet.” He repeats before pulling away and taking a seat between Sophie and me.
Lizzy's curious eyes meet mine, but her lips remain sealed.
Sophie and Jax pick up a conversation talking about her new restaurant in France when I feel a vibration between my legs again.
Fuck. Shit. Motherass. My orgasm is edging closer, becoming harder for me to hide.
My eyes quickly dart around the floor looking for Callum, waiting to lock eyes with him so he can watch the torture he’s executing on me, but find him deep in a conversation with Knox. And both of his hands are visible.
The vibration stops.
Shit.
My eyes slowly turn to Jax, whose hand is in his pocket, coolly carrying on a conversation with Sophie.
He asks her another question, but I don’t hear it because the vibration picks back up. He’s toying with me.
“Are you okay, Ev?” Lizzy asks, clearly noticing my semi-panicked state and flush on my cheeks.
I nod. “All.” It vibrates faster, causing the word good to be elongated before the toy shuts off again.
Is there a range for this thing? Do I want that?
Jax keeps the vibrator off for a while after that, letting my body relax and ease into a false sense of security, but I know it won’t last forever. The not knowing is exciting, though.
After some time, Sophie suggests we go downstairs and dance, to which Lizzy and I agree. The music is pumping and with only the three of us girls up here it really isn’t a dance scene.
Jax stands up with us and casually buttons his jacket. “I need to check on some things, but Knox will check on you in a little.”
Emmett is at Bo’s tonight and is upset he can’t be here, but apparently Sophie spent the day there, working in his kitchen.
When we head downstairs, Lizzy grabs my arm gently. “What’s with you and Jax?”
“What do you mean?”
“The way he looks at you.”
“How?”
“Don’t pretend you don’t see it.”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Like he just ate you for lunch.”
Dinner, I want to correct. “That’s just him.”
“Well, don’t let Callum see.”
Callum would love to see. A flashback to Valentine’s Day in the bathtub causes my stomach to tighten. I let my mind wander as the heavy bass from the speakers thumps through our bodies.
“This is great, no?” Sophie shouts to both of us, grabbing our hands and guiding us onto the dance floor.
“So fun.” She’s impossible not to like. I literally tried not to like her, but she’s this little ball you want to wrap your arms around.
A prickly feeling tingles on my neck, and when I glance up, Jax, Knox, and Callum are standing shoulder to shoulder watching us. Wanting to put on a little show for them, I rub my hands up my dress and over my breasts, then through my hair, never breaking eye contact.
Big mistake.
I’m dancing with the devil, and I don’t even have a pitchfork.
The vibration starts again, slower this time. Lizzy grabs my hand and starts swaying her hips from side to side, working her way down, wanting me to follow. I try, but sticking my ass out and swaying from side to side nearly sends me into convulsions.
The boys must have seen, because the vibration stops. They’re toying with me. Bringing me to the edge, then cutting it off. My panties are a sopping mess now, but at least I’m standing and not sitting.
“You’re acting really weird tonight.”
“Sorry. I felt my hip pop,” I lie.
“Do we need to get your cane, Grandma?”
“Shut up.” I push her back and sway all the way to the floor and back up.
“There she is,” Lizzy cheers excitedly.
The three of us dance in our little bubble for a while, and when I look at the clock, it shows just after midnight.
“I’ll be back,” Lizzy calls over the music. She signs the word for bathroom.
As soon as she’s gone, Sophie is by my side, holding my hands. “How are you doing with all this?”
“All what?”
“The four of them?”
I hesitate for a moment because it feels weird. If I share, then would she share? Did I want to hear that? No, but the other part of me is dying to talk to someone about it, so I go for it and hope I don’t regret it.
“It’s tough.”
She nods. “You may think you want it long-term, but it’s hard.”
“How so?” We’re still half swaying to the music, but anyone could see we’re more interested in having a conversation than dancing.
“Callum says you’ve only had one group event?”
“Yes.” I frown, and she laughs.
“It’s addicting, but then feelings become real.
Attachments form. You will make yourself believe it can be a thing, all of you, but then you have to step outside of your bubble and the real world hits you.
The world doesn’t see love the same way the guys do.
They are all, for the most part, one man, one woman.
It’s archaic. Sure, same-sex couples are being accepted more and more, but could you imagine showing up for Thanksgiving dinner with four men or going on a date?
The world will put pressure on you.” She’s speaking from her own experience.
They thought they could be something more, but something must have happened.
“Polyamory is a thing, though.”
“Right, but they usually get away from city life, from the public, to avoid the daggers and swords being thrown.”
I sigh because I agree with what she’s saying, but I don’t want to believe it. I want to believe we can make it work. They’re all different and I can already feel myself getting attached. It hasn’t been long at all, but it’s easy to get swept up in their life. Their world.
“I’m not trying to be a Debra Downie. I was you.”
I chuckle at her mispronunciation of Debbie Downer.
“I always get it wrong. That’s what you were laughing about?”
I nod. “Debbie Downer.”
“Yes, that. But as I was saying, I was you until I wasn’t. I had to make the choice to leave them. It was hard, but we were wrapped up in a cocoon for so long we fooled ourselves into thinking it was all going to be okay.”
“The contract I signed limited our engagements to a few, but no more.”
She smiles. “From what I’ve heard, you’ve already had a few, and some.”
My lips tug to the side. “Maybe I can just have sex with them one at a time and never have another group play, and then we can go on?” I tease.
She gives me a hug. “I don’t think they will let that happen. They have to protect themselves too. They aren’t robots.” She gives me a hug, ending the conversation just as Lizzy walks back.
“What did I miss?” she asks, jumping right back in.
“Oh, nothing much, darling. Want to go back upstairs and rest our feet?” Sophie asks.
“Sure.”
We walk upstairs where the three men are waiting for us, looking as handsome as ever.
“We saw you dancing and were just about to come down and join you,” Callum teases.
“You lie.” Sophie boops him on the end of his nose.
“You’re right. They weren’t, but I was,” Knox coos.
“We came back up to rest our feet,” Sophie says, walking over to our booth.
“Everlee and I will get you all some drinks,” Callum offers, placing his hand on my back as he ushers me towards the bar, but stops short. “What were you and Sophie talking about?”
His face is somewhere between playful and curious. Before this moment, I thought he’d instructed Sophie to lay the groundwork, but now I’m not so certain. “Nothing much.”
“Everlee.” His voice lowers and his head falls to the side.
“She was talking about you all and how I need to be prepared to let you go when this is done. Whenever it’s done.”
He looks down his nose at me.
“That’s all. I mean, she said the world isn’t ready for a relationship like ours. Sorry. Not to imply we’re in a relationship. I know we’re just having fun. But that’s also what she said. That this needs to end before feelings get attached.”
His lips harden into a flat line. “Yes, that is all very true.”
His tone and the look on his face tell me there is a but coming, so I wait. Am I hopeful for a but? But we don’t want to give you up. But we can find a way to make it work. But you’ve shown us we can have it all.
We walk up to the bar, and I’m too enthralled with all the ways that conversation could have gone that I don’t even pay attention to what he orders.
They may not be robots, but I feel like one right now.
I want to be a robot, because whether or not I want to admit it, I’m getting attached.
How could I not? I wouldn’t call it love, but I know I don’t want this to end.
Whatever this is. It’s all so new, but with them…
I just feel… happy. At peace. Something I never felt with dickface.
I feel enough for them. Which I know is stupid. But… I sigh out in frustration.
When we get back to the table, Callum hands out the round of shots and I knock it back, then sit the glass on the table and walk over to the bar and order another.
“What’s wrong, jellybean?” Lizzy asks, meeting me.
“Nothing toucan Sam.” Her brows furrow. She definitely knows something’s wrong now. Anytime I add two things together that don’t make sense, it’s a dead giveaway.
She grabs my arm. “Everlee. You tell me right now. Do I need to lay someone out?” She starts taking her earrings out.
I laugh, grabbing her arm. “Keep your earrings in. All is good. I just… I like them.”
“Them?”
I shake my head, scrambling. “I like Callum and all his friends. They are just… they just seem great. So much better than dickface. You can tell a lot about a person by the friends they keep.”
“Is that why you keep me around?” She nudges my arm.
“The only reason. I’d have gotten rid of you a long time ago, but then people would think I’m super boring.”
She throws her head back, laughing. “Yes. Yes, they would have.” She Z snaps the air before we walk back over to the group.
Callum pats the seat between him and Knox, so I sit down, then lean over to give Knox a hug, and he manages to plant a quick kiss on my ear. “You look so hot tonight.”
I put my hand on Callum’s leg to hold up appearances that we’re in an exclusive relationship.
Guilt rips through me that I can’t be like this with all of them.
But they seem to understand their roles in front of people who don’t know.
If Lizzy weren’t here, would it be a problem?
It doesn’t matter because I wouldn’t choose them over her. No matter how good the sex is.