20. Friends ‘Till the End
Chapter 20
Friends ‘Till the End
E ventually, I reached Frances Street and was met by Jane, Kitty and Raspberry. They all had a little bit to tell me about their day. The first bit of beneficial news came from Raspberry.
“The regiment will be coming through town tomorrow,” she said, “and Plato’s letter has proceeded them. He does know of a Mr. Denny, who will be coming to Milton.”
“That means Lydia is coming!” Kitty cried merrily. “Raspberry, you will love her.”
“But will she love me? That is the question.”
“If she doesn’t, don’t worry,” Jane offered, slicing up some bread on the table. “She’ll overcome it.”
“I’m not so sure about that,” I said. “Rasby, Lydia has not always had the ability to get used to things that she doesn’t want to. But there surely will be no difference. And what else have you discovered?” I asked, putting on my apron.
“This is the bad news. Plato has not heard of any Mr. Wickham in his militia. If Mr. Wickham is still in the army, then that means that he must now be in a different regiment. Your friend will not be in the army that is coming.”
“Very well. His coming is not vital to my happiness. It merely would have been nice to see him. That is all.”
“Oh, come now, Lizzy,” Kitty crowed. “You know that you were once in love with Mr. Wickham.”
“You magnify and augment my emotions too much. I admire him, and greatly enjoy his company. That is all.”
“Very well, keep your secrets.” She whispered something in Raspberry’s ear, and I knew that it was about me. But I didn’t mind it. In Milton, my past was of no consequence to anyone. There were no impertinent remarks for me to suffer under or critical eyes to be cast on me. That was the joys of being of little consequence in the world; there was no shame to be endured because no one cared about you.
Soon after I had come, Raspberry had to depart, so that it wasn’t too late for her to walk home alone.
Now that her attention was more focused, Kitty remembered something.
“Oh, Lizzy! You received a letter today.”
“Who is it from?”
“Charlotte Lucas.”
“Really?” I asked, amazed. “Letters from Hertfordshire don’t always have a habit of being good news.”
“Why would you be afraid of a letter from Charlotte?” Jane asked me.
“For no particular reason,” I replied, sarcastic, “for what harm could there come from receiving a letter from a longtime friend, who rejected an offer to secure her future, to protect our friendship, and for us to be separate, so she feels like she lost everything out of loyalty?”
“Oh,” Kitty remarked, “I see. Well…best to just read it.”
I took the letter, opened it up and began to read it while the rice was heating up on the stove.
Charlotte began her letter very sanguinely, and she gave a pleasant portrait of Hertfordshire. Home sounded like home. Naturally, I had no choice but to see the parallel between Charlotte’s letter and Edith’s when she was happily married in Corfu. They still had the comforts of a pleasant family life, while the rest of us had to toil and suffer the air of the North.
At last, Charlotte’s letter took a turn for the inevitable: of living in Hertfordshire and having to endure being in Mr. Collins’s presence occasionally…
Dear Lizzy, how you must have suffered when he was vying for your hand!
A proper gentleman would not reduce himself toward revenge in my case, but I believe he has, in the only subtle way that he could. When you had first rejected Mr. Collins’s offer of marriage, I was merely being polite and kind towards him, because I sympathized with his position.
Having never had any beauty myself, we humans naturally relate to others who are like us. Mr. Collins has nothing exceptional to his character, from his mind to his face, so I pitied him, while also relating to him. But that really was ALL that there was!
I had no intention of having him think that I thought on him in a romantic way. And it shows, no good deed goes unpunished. But now, things have unfolded in the way that they had no choice but to. He had proposed to me, I had rejected him, he quickly married another woman to save his pride (as father has voiced on more than one occasion) you all lost Longbourn, he inherited it, and now he has become even more conceited. Being landed gentry has fed into his self-assurance, and he has hinted to me, on more than one occasion of my misfortunes for having rejected him.
Lizzy, he is taking revenge on me, and if I were to show any sort of resignation, his revenge would be complete. It is strange—but this all only adds to my resolve. Every day that I am in his company, the more that I am determined how right I was for rejecting him! I could have done my best to have adjusted to marriage to him, but now, I prefer to think that I am better where I am. Even my parents understand my refusal now.
For, as you may recall, our mothers were both alike when they discovered that we both had rejected him. Your mother tried to force you to accept Mr. Collins. My mother tried to influence me. Yet both to no avail.
My father was upset, but soon it gave way to acceptance. Now it has given way to admiration—and the same for mother. They see how Mr. Collins lords his triumph over me, how he evidently does not love his wife, but views her as a sort of trophy. In faith, I do not believe that she loves him either. But Mr. Collins’s self-assurance will not perceive any other reality than the reality that he places over his own eyes.
My parents feel as if I avoided an awkward fate that would never have made me happy. I now see the same.
I say this now because I am safe too. Lizzy, there was a time where I had considered accepting Mr. Collins’s hand in marriage. For a fleeting moment, when he proposed, I entertained the idea of accepting him.
Imagine if I had said yes! What a fate I would have shackled myself to. Thank goodness I kept my wits about me.
Now, despite all the manifold advantages that I would have inherited from our match, I have no regrets.
Maria is now being courted by Mr. Long’s nephew, who had come into town. He actually is landed gentry in Surrey and has a nice country seat. My brother, Gregory, is also amidst a courtship with Mr. King’s sister-in-law, who has a respectable dowry, and he is making plans to be a midshipman in the Navy. My eldest brother will inherit Lucas Lodge, and he has no plans of marrying, so he will need me to help run the household. I shall fall somewhere, better than I would have fallen if I had married your cousin.
Elizabeth, I don’t think that I ever wish to get married. It is just…not who I am. If it ever was.
I miss you, dear friend.
Other than what I have mentioned, Hertfordshire remains one of the best places on earth.
Hope you are well and please write to me soon.
C.L.
When I closed the letter, I felt elated.
“Lizzy, the rice!” Kitty cried.
The rice began to boil over.
“Right!” I cried. I tended to it immediately and stirred it till the water stopped boiling. “Never fear, I got it. All is well.”
“What did Charlotte write about that turned your head?”
“She is not angry with me. She knows what she did was right.” I laughed. “She is not angry with me.”
“Of course, she isn’t,” Jane voiced. “She never could be.”
“I know. It’s just nice to hear it.”
We sat down to dinner and began to eat. As we did so, Jane began to tell us of the children who she looked after.
“The Kirkpatrick sons are as lively as ever,” Jane said. “Getting them to sit still is not the easiest thing, nor is it getting any easier. But they both are lovely boys, who have large hearts. The eldest is Master Oswald? 1 , and the second is Master Rodger. Little Rodger is not as handsome as Master Oswald, but I like Master Rodger a little more. He is very interested in nature and is always asking me about the creatures that I saw in the country. I wish that I could take him back to Longbourn and have him run amongst the hills, plains, rivers, and streams, so that he could see everything. The poor thing would be so much happier in the grass and dirt. And then there is the difficult situation; the daughter.”
“What?” I asked. “Is she unruly?”
“She has a distinct personality, which is very sweet, but her mother doesn’t seem to have much interest in her. Her mother loves her—to the best of her ability. But little Cynthia deserves more.”
“The girl’s name is Cynthia?”
“Yes. Her name comes from her mother, Hyacinth.”
“Hyacinth?” I asked, with a raised eyebrow. “Now that is a unique name.”
“I like it, but the stuffier parts of the country would find a natural prejudice toward her.”
“I noticed that,” Kitty remarked, “people have problems with the stupidest things to have problems with.”
“True,” I supported.
“Well, little Cynthia is a lovely girl with obvious winning ways, but she needs a friend. Her life is so secluded and confined to the classroom, that she has no acquaintances with other children, especially with other little girls.”
This sparked my interest.
“This Mr. and Mrs. Kirkpatrick,” I inquired, “do they have any prejudices of who their children associate with? Nationality or class preferences? For I know a little girl, who is very lovely, but her parents are gone, and she is raised by her uncle, who is a professor. And she is from Australia. Her name is Molly Gibson.”
“Well, I cannot say for certain if my employers have such preferences, but I can always speak to them about it. Mrs. Kirkpatrick can be reasonable, and if you come with this Miss Gibson and visit her home one day, then it might work.”
I smirked.
“A plan is afoot. I wish, for one moment, my brain would stop working. But this is who I am!”
I chuckled and kept eating.
Later that evening, Jane and I were in bed, amidst falling asleep.
“Lizzy?” Jane asked me as she was facing the wall, looking away from me.
“Yes?”
“Whenever you speak to Mr. Darcy, does he ever mention Mr. Bingley?”
“No,” I lied. “He does not.”
“Oh.”
“Should I ask him about it?”
“No. I do not want you to embarrass yourself.”
“I’ll ask him.”
“Thank you.”
“You did want me to say something, didn’t you?”
“Yes.”
Sometimes, in life, it’s all about reading the words through people’s silence on things.
1 ? Oswald, Rodger, and Cynthia are all names taken from characters in Wives & Daughters .