14. More than Curosity
Chapter fourteen
More than Curosity
Miko carried Meca’s words with her for the rest of the day.
“You need to stop asking what I feel and start asking yourself what you feel.”
It sounded simple, but nothing about Miko’s feelings felt simple anymore. She knew she cared about Meca. She knew their connection had moved beyond friendship, and she knew the time they had spent together was no longer something she could dismiss as a temporary experience.
What she didn’t know was what any of it meant for the life she had always understood.
Miko had never questioned her attraction to men. She had never looked at another woman and imagined building an emotional relationship with her. Even when her curiosity about Meca first developed, Miko believed it was something she could explore without allowing it to change anything else.
But it had changed something.
Meca had become the person Miko wanted to speak with when something good happened.
She was the person Miko called when she was irritated, tired, or simply needed someone to make her laugh.
Meca noticed when Miko was quiet, remembered how she liked her coffee, and checked to make sure she made it home safely.
It wasn’t only attraction anymore.
That evening, Miko sat on the edge of her bed with her phone in her hand. She started to call Meca several times but changed her mind before pressing the button. She didn’t know how to begin the conversation, and she didn’t want to say the wrong thing.
Before she could decide what to do, her phone rang.
Meca.
Miko stared at the screen for a moment before answering. “Hello.”
“You sound nervous.”
Miko smiled. “How can I sound nervous after saying one word?”
“Because I know you.”
“You keep saying that.”
“And you keep proving me right.”
Miko leaned back against the pillows. “What are you doing?”
“Nothing. Just sitting here thinking.”
“About what?”
“You.”
Miko became quiet.
Meca laughed softly. “See? Now you’re nervous again.”
“I’m not nervous.”
“What are you?”
“I don’t know.”
“There you go with that again.”
Miko sighed. “Can I ask you something?”
“You can ask me anything.”
“How did you know?”
“Know what?”
“That you liked women.”
Meca was quiet for a moment. “I didn’t wake up one morning and suddenly have everything figured out. I just paid attention to what felt true for me.”
“But were you ever confused?”
“Of course.”
Miko sat up. “What did you do?”
“I stopped trying to make my feelings fit into what other people expected.”
Miko looked down at her hand. “That sounds easier than it probably was.”
“It wasn’t easy, but it was honest.”
Miko hesitated before asking, “Do you think I’m gay?”
Meca didn’t answer immediately.
The silence made Miko uncomfortable. “Meca?”
“No.”
“No, you don’t think I’m gay?”
“No, I’m not going to tell you what you are.”
Miko relaxed slightly.
Meca continued, “You’ve told me that you’re attracted to men, and I believe you. You’ve also developed feelings for me. Both things can be true.”
“So what does that make me?”
“It makes you Miko.”
Miko laughed softly. “That’s not an answer.”
“It’s the only answer you need right now.”
“You make everything sound so simple.”
“No, I just don’t believe you should force yourself into a label because you’re trying to explain one relationship.”
Miko became quiet again.
Meca’s voice softened. “You don’t owe anybody an explanation, including me.”
“But don’t you want to know what this is?”
“I know what it is for me.”
“And what is it for you?”
Meca took a breath. “It’s more than curiosity.”
Miko felt her chest tighten.
Those words confirmed what she had already begun to understand. What started between them had grown into something neither woman could pretend was casual.
Meca continued, “I care about you. I think about you when we’re not together. I look forward to hearing your voice. When something bothers you, it bothers me. When you’re happy, I want to know why. That’s what this is for me.”
Miko closed her eyes.
No one had ever explained their feelings for her so plainly. There was no pressure hidden behind Meca’s words. She wasn’t demanding a commitment or asking Miko to make a decision. She was simply telling the truth.
“Meca…”
“You asked.”
“I know.”
“You don’t have to say anything back.”
“That’s the problem.”
“What is?”
“I want to.”
Meca became quiet.
Miko took a slow breath. “I care about you too.”
She had said similar things before, but this time the words carried a different meaning. They were no longer playful or accidental. Miko understood exactly what she was admitting.
“I think about you all the time,” Miko continued. “Sometimes I reach for my phone before I even realize I’m doing it. I know when you’re having a bad day, even when you say you’re fine. And when you don’t call me…” She paused.
“What happens when I don’t call?”
“I miss you.”
Meca released a quiet breath. “Miko.”
“I don’t know what that means for everything else, but I know I miss you.”
“It means this is real.”
Miko looked toward the window. “That’s what scares me.”
“Why?”
“Because this wasn’t supposed to happen.”
“What was supposed to happen?”
“I was curious. That was all.”
“And now?”
Miko thought about the coffee, the late-night conversations, the laughter, and the way Meca could make the rest of the world feel quiet.
“Now it’s more than that.”
Neither woman spoke for several seconds. The silence between them wasn’t uncomfortable. It was filled with the weight of everything they had finally admitted.
Meca broke the silence. “I need you to understand something.”
“What?”
“I care about you, but I’m not going to pressure you.”
“I know.”
“I’m serious, Miko. I’m not going to ask you to announce anything, choose a label, or become somebody you’re not. If you need time to understand your feelings, take it.”
“What if I never understand them?”
“You don’t have to understand everything to know when something matters.”
Miko smiled. “How do you always know what to say?”
“I don’t. I just tell you the truth.”
“That’s what I like about you.”
“One of the things?”
Miko laughed. “Don’t get ahead of yourself.”
“There she is.”
“Who?”
“The Miko I know.”
They both laughed, and the heaviness of the conversation began to lift. Still, neither woman could take back what had been said.
The next morning at work, everything appeared normal. Miko arrived carrying her coffee, and Meca was already seated at her desk. They exchanged the same greeting they gave each other every morning.
“Good morning.”
“Morning.”
But something had changed.
They both knew it.
During the morning meeting, Miko felt Meca’s eyes on her from across the room. She looked up and caught her staring. Instead of quickly looking away, Meca smiled.
Miko smiled back.
Jemika noticed.
Of course she did.
After the meeting, Jemika walked beside Miko toward their desks. “You seem happy today.”
“I’m always happy.”
“No, you’re not.”
Miko laughed. “Why are you worried about me?”
“I’m not worried. I’m observing.”
“There you go with that observing again.”
Jemika glanced toward Meca. “I see you didn’t listen to me.”
“Listen to you about what?”
“Never mind.”
“No, say what you were going to say.”
Jemika smiled. “I don’t have to. Your face already said enough.”
Miko shook her head and continued walking. Normally, Jemika’s comments would have made her defensive. She would have denied everything and insisted there was nothing to see.
This time, she didn’t feel the need to explain herself.
Later that afternoon, Meca sent her a message from across the office.
Meca: You okay?
Miko looked up. Meca was pretending to read something on her computer.
Miko smiled and typed her response.
Miko: I’m fine.
Meca: You sure?
Miko: Yes.
Meca: What are you thinking about?
Miko stared at the message before answering.
Miko: Us.
Meca looked up from her computer.
Their eyes met across the room.
Meca: What about us?
Miko thought carefully before typing.
Miko: That we are more than curiosity.
Meca read the message and smiled.
She didn’t ask Miko what that made them. She didn’t ask what would happen next. She simply allowed Miko to sit with the truth she had finally accepted.
Miko still didn’t have a label for what she felt.
She didn’t know how long their relationship would last or what complications might eventually find them. She only knew that Meca had become important to her in a way she had never expected.
For the first time, Miko stopped asking whether her feelings were allowed to exist.
She simply allowed herself to feel them.