Chapter 13
Thirteen
“Hey, hey,” he says. “Don’t cry, don’t cry. Ivy, why are you upset? I’m not upset. Surprised, yeah. Impressed, very much so. Slightly shocked to find out magic is real, sure, but I’m not upset. There’s no reason to cry.”
For some reason that just makes me cry harder because he’s being exactly the person that he’s always been. Kind, accepting, calm, generous. And I kept a secret from him because I was so afraid that he would never look at me the same, or that he would think I was crazy.
But here he is, kneeling next to me, putting his arms around my body and letting me cry into the soft space between his neck and shoulder.
It’s not even a pretty cry. “I’m sorry,” I choke out the words. Pretty sure there’s snot bubbling out of my nose, which is slightly mortifying, but it’s not like Caleb hasn’t seen me sick before. I’m pretty sure he held my hair back the first time I got drunk.
That was a long time ago.
And yet here he is, taking care of me again when I’m falling apart. Somehow it feels like I’m being put back together. Finally.
I sit back a little, sniffling, wiping my nose. I’m staring at Caleb through watery eyes.
“I’m sorry,” I apologize. “I don’t know why I started crying.”
He rubs my shoulders, looking up at me earnestly. The same Caleb he’s always been.
“A witch, huh?” he asks, then looks at Gunner, who nods in confirmation. “It’s pretty damn cool. So what does that mean? Is there like unicorns, dragons and shit?”
I laugh and it comes out just as soggy as the crying I’ve been doing.
“I have never seen a unicorn and I’ve never seen a dragon, and there’s really not much to it. There’s a few of us scattered around. My friend in Texas is one. She found another witch down there too. But we don’t have, you know, a government or anything. It’s kind of lonely.”
“Ivy,” Caleb says, holding my hand gently. His calluses on his palms and fingers rub against the soft skin of my hand.
I sniffle again, taking a shaky breath.
“You’re not alone. You have me. You have three sisters. You have the entire town of Silverlight Shore that loves you.”
He takes a deep breath, blinking, the long dark eyelashes I’ve always been jealous of fluttering slightly as he smiles at me.
“Everybody loves you. How could we not?”
I’m lowering my mouth to his before I can think better of it. It feels so right.
The way his hand moves up my body, cradling the back of my head as our lips meet. It tastes like rain. The salt water of my tears.
But most importantly, he feels like home.
Caleb’s always been my perfect fit. And as the kiss deepens, his hands pulling me closer, mine fisting the back of his damp shirt, I realize that he still is my perfect fit. Or maybe with a little work, he could be.
The thought scares me a little bit. Enough that I hesitate and pull back.
His eyes are wild, as stormy as the night outside, and no sooner has the thought crossed my mind than another peal of thunder rattles the windows.
“Too fast?” The side of his mouth quirks up into a grin. It looks good on him. Everything looks good on him.
“It’s just a lot,” I say, pushing a lock of damp hair that’s drying in a strange wave behind my ear. “I didn’t mean to trauma dump on you.”
“Ivy,” he says, “you told me you’re a witch. I am not sure how that’s trauma dumping. And even if it were, I think I just proved that I liked it. Unless you told me you do human sacrifices or something.” He cringes. “You don’t do that, do you?”
That earns a little laugh from me, and the rest of the tension dissolves like I’d imagined it.
“No, oh my God, of course not.”
How much of the tension have I been imagining? Could it have been this easy the whole time and I’ve made it harder for myself?
“That’s good. That might be a red line for me.”
“Might?” I ask. “Human sacrifice might be a red line?”
“Well, it’s you, Ivy. I’d want to know more details before I passed judgment.”
“It’s a red line for me,” I say on a laugh.
I lick my lips, wondering about another kiss.
But knowing that if I do anything else tonight, I’m going to talk myself out of being around him more.
But I’ll tell myself I got swept up in emotion and hormones and needing something from his body that I haven’t had in a very long time.
“I don’t think the kiss was too fast,” I tell him. “Honestly, I think it was a long time coming. And I’d like to do it again. But I think maybe we should take it slow. It’s been a really long time, Caleb. I don’t know if I’m the same person I used to be.”
He laughs, the sound low, rasping in a way that does something to make my belly flop, heat rising all the way up to my face at the sound.
“Well, that’s good,” he says, “because I’m definitely not twenty-one anymore. And thank God for that.”
He rolls his eyes and it’s my turn to laugh, because he’s got a damn good point about that.
I settle back, staring at him kneeling in front of my chair, Gunner’s tail thumping on the wood floor, rain pelting the window panes.
“It’s funny, huh?” I ask. “We thought we were so old when we were twenty-two, twenty-one, even. I thought I was grown. I look back and I think I was a baby.”
And he nods knowingly, and I know that we’re both thinking of all the times that we shared together.
Maybe it’s a good thing we broke up when we did — like it gave us time to become who we are.
I don’t say it out loud. The thing between us is too new, too tender to say something like that to it, like some spell that could undo this fragile bud. I don’t want it to wilt.
“Are you going to drink your cocoa?” he asks. “Spent a lot of time making that from scratch.”
He nudges the cup towards me and I laugh as he gets up off the floor with more grace than I would have. When he finally sits down next to me, I realize I’ve been staring at him.
A slow grin kicks up the corners of his mouth.
“Like what you see?” he asks.
I cut my gaze to my cup, feeling a blush heat my cheeks, and I grab it for support, taking a long drink. Thankfully my little confession sob kiss combo gave the cocoa time to cool down so I don’t burn off all the taste buds on my tongue.
“I have to say—” he pauses, leaning back in his chair, then takes a sip of his own drink.
“I am dying to know more about the magic thing. So there’s not like a witch and wizard school you went to or anything?
Flying broomstick? Use toads and eyes of newt or whatever?
You know, I also think that it makes sense that you’re magical because I’ve never had anything like the candy you make at Sugar & Salt. ”
I put the mug down and grin at him.
“The magic definitely gives my work a certain something. As far as broomsticks, no, don’t know how to do that.
Not sure if it’s possible, but that’s not how my magic works.
Maybe witches that have wind power could do that, but I don’t know.
We’re all slightly different.” I shake my head, coming up short on explanations.
Maybe I should have planned this speech better. I probably would have practiced it in front of the mirror if I thought I was ever going to actually tell anyone.
I rub the little charm on my necklace before soldiering on.
“As far as toads, I’m sure that you could have a toad that’s a familiar, but I have to say I’m pretty happy with Gunner. I don’t think I’d like carrying around a toad as much as I like hanging out with Gunner.”
Gunner rolls onto his side, wagging his tail. “Damn right.”
“Eye of newt is actually just mustard seed, so yes, I do use mustard seed if I’m trying to make a potion that calls for it, but I don’t really make potions very often unless we’re sick or needing a boost. Sometimes it’s better than caffeine, but all of that kind of comes with a cost. It takes a lot of energy to do that sort of work and, you know, as boring as it sounds, most of the things that you can get from the drug store are just as good as some of the magical remedies that we have.
” I pause. “Although I have a really killer cure for a hangover that Hazel and I came up with right before her twenty-first birthday.”
“When you say killer…” he trails off. “You don’t really mean killer, do you?”
That really gets me. I let out a long laugh.
“No, of course not. I just mean that it helps with the headache and the nausea. A little goes a long way though, as Hazel found out on her twenty-second birthday.” I sigh, shaking my head.
“I worry about her.” It’s more of an aside, and I didn’t really mean to say it out loud because I never want to talk bad about my sisters.
Not to anybody outside the family at least. I know the rest of us all talk about each other, but we’re only trying to help.
I don’t want Caleb to think that there’s something wrong with Hazel.
I’m not sure. I think there’s something wrong with Hazel, but I do worry about her.
“I understand that,” Caleb says slowly, nodding as he rotates his mug around on top of the wooden table. “She’s not a teenager anymore, though, Ivy. She might be your little sister, and she’ll always be your little sister, but she’s a grown woman. And she’s making her own path.”
I let out a slow exhalation, pursing my lips. His words tumbling around in my mind like unpolished rocks.
“I know, I know she’s not a kid anymore and I know she’ll always be my baby sister.
I think it’s just that I miss her. I miss her being home with us and being in Silverlight Shore, and I want her to be happy.
And when she’s so far away and we never hear from her, I don’t know if she’s happy.
And maybe that’s controlling and maybe it’s the older sister in me, but I don’t know.
I can’t do anything about it. All I can do is love her and hope she’s alright. ”