Chapter 11
ELEVEN
sinner
The next day was filled with the same kind of absurd bullshit. Though instead of watching half the cadets get pummeled by the sea, we were put through an intense round of physical training.
I participated without complaint, thankful I didn’t have to watch Athena nearly drown again.
I’d take physical pain over that torture any day.
A couple of the cadets threw up. Some cried.
Athena stayed silent the entire time. She worked quietly, diligently, as if she had a mission to accomplish.
Maybe she did. Survival was the mission here, and after being cooped up in that damn dungeon, we needed all the exercise we could get.
The magic training? That was another story.
We weren’t actually a claimed pair—as wrong as that felt to admit—so we couldn’t train our magic like everyone else.
Luckily, for now, we weren’t allowed to anyway.
And if that changed, we’d figure it out.
If we played our cards right, nobody had to know.
Athena was powerful enough on her own, and she could wield my shadows if she wanted to.
That was undeniable—that our magic was linked, even without the claiming.
I’d wielded her magic, too—once before. Surely I could do it again.
Though this wasn’t the place to push our limits. For now, it was best to stay quiet. To keep our strengths hidden.
I fucking hated that everyone knew Athena was a four. It made them look at her differently. She was no longer the weak, useless new cadet she could have easily pretended to be.
She was an asset to everyone. An asset—or an enemy.
I did my best to keep my distance from her. She didn’t need hovering adding to her fucking stress levels. I stressed her out. And I’d set a boundary with her, so I needed to stick to it.
But damn, it was hard. Especially with dozens of other cadets trying to get close to her.
For three more days, this continued—combat training, basic magic tests that Athena and I avoided, more unwanted interrogations from the other cadets.
On the fifth day, I forced myself to eat the ground beef they’d given us for dinner again, then took a walk beneath the moon.
My body ached with a satisfying soreness, my muscles adjusting to the increased activity. Good. If we were going to make it out of here alive, I needed to be strong. If I were going to save the others, I needed to push myself.
Mags. She needed me. No—I needed her. I needed to know she was all right, that she wasn’t in danger or in pain. I couldn’t fucking live with myself if she had to endure any more anguish in this life.
Why was it that those who didn’t deserve the pain, like my sister, were the ones who ended up bearing the most of it?
Mags, of course, did it with a smile, because that was just the type of woman she was.
She was stronger than me, that was for damn sure. If I’d endured what she’d endured, I didn’t think I’d ever have the ability to smile again.
But she was light. Innocent. Pure.
And she deserved everything she wanted in this life. If that meant I had to kill every single cadet in the war games, then I would do it. For her—I would do it.
And then there was Athena.
I huffed a breath and kept walking. The sea washed in and out, in and out, the sound of the waves clearing my head.
That’s what I needed. A clear fucking head.
I couldn’t sit around thinking about her.
She consumed far too much of my brain. I was constantly thinking about the way her shoulder muscles flexed beneath her shirt as she threw practice punches during training.
Or the way her hair clung to her long neck as she got dressed after the bath.
The way her breathing lulled me to sleep after hours of lying in bed, thinking about what I would do if we weren’t—
What? If we weren’t what?
Aggravated, I kicked at a stone on the ground. For god fucking sake.
This kind of thought was exactly what I was trying to avoid. There wasn’t a world where we were anything but this, anything but two people who hated each other and were forced to work together for survival.
That was it.
I would never let her care for me. Not if it meant she could get hurt.
That’s what happened to the people I let in.
They ended up dead.
“You don’t strike me as the type for a moonlit stroll.” Alexander stepped out of the shadows to my left, matching my stride without hesitation.
Immediately, fury churned in my gut. Fuck, I wanted to kill someone.
I wanted to kill him.
Just the sound of his voice made me murderous.
“Leave me alone,” I gritted out.
“And miss out on the pleasure of your company?” He kicked a loose rock, unbothered by my attitude.
The beach and the large rocks were to our right, the steel buildings full of cadets who were eating, resting, and bathing to our left.
“Fine.” I pulled up short. “What do you want?”
At least it was mostly dark out. I could hardly fucking look at him. Not without seeing his hands all over her body.
It wasn’t fucking real.
That didn’t stop my heart from racing or my hands from sweating. My muscles from tensing.
His smile dropped.
The expression was strange for him. He wasn’t a serious guy. Even when he’d been on the brink of fucking death during that test in the sea, he’d been making jokes, breaking into flirty smiles.
But he was somber as he stepped closer to me. “I know you’ve been having a hard time here. And Athena’s had some trouble adjusting.”
My heart rate ratcheted up another notch. “Don’t say her fucking name to me.”
“Whoa, man.” He held out his hands. “No need to get defensive. I’m not a threat to you.”
“You think I’m threatened by you?” I made a big show of eyeing him up and down. “I just don’t want you lurking around in my shit.”
He guffawed. “Your shit? And you consider your claimed to be your shit?”
“What I do and do not consider her is none of your business.”
Sighing, he tilted his head toward the sky. His breath created a cloud of fog. “Okay, this isn’t going the way I hoped it would.”
I stayed quiet. If he had something to say, he could get it over with and leave so I could enjoy five fucking minutes of peace.
“The war games are coming up,” he started. “And it’s serious shit.”
“Considering it’s all anyone fucking talks about, yes, I figured.”
“Then you should know that some of the others have formed alliances.”
I scoffed, puffing up. “Are you insinuating that you want to form an alliance with me?”
Unbothered, he crossed his arms. “It’s a decent idea. One you should consider.”
God, this guy had lost his fucking mind. “This is because of Athena, isn’t it? Of course you’d want to form an alliance with the only tier four here.”
“I’m not blind to that,” he continued, “but we have strengths that’ll help you two in return.”
“I don’t care about what you can do. We don’t trust you.”
“We?” He chuckled. “I’m not sure your claimed shares that sentiment. You should listen to her, you know. She’s smart.”
“I know she’s smart.”
“Do you?” He cocked his head to the side, and I suddenly felt like we were in a fucking dick measuring contest. “Because you two barely spend any time together. She trains alone. Eats alone. Bathes alone. I bet she’s alone in bed right now.”
“Are you fucking spying on us?” I spat, fiery anger flooding me.
“No. I’m just observant. And I’m not the only one.”
What the fuck? The people here were more nosy than the guys in the dungeons, and that’s saying a lot.
“Great. Good to know people care about how often Athena and I hang out. What do they expect? Candlelit dinners and walks on the beach?”
“They expect you to keep your strength up. And bonding with your claimed partner is an important part of that.”
I turned and strode back toward the barracks. “I’m done with this conversation.”
He stopped me with a hand on my arm before I’d made it two steps. “Just think about it. You’ll want allies, and you can trust Karlyle and me.”
I yanked my arm away from him. “Stay away from me. And stay away from Athena, too.”
Fuming, I stormed back to the barracks. God, I didn’t need another reminder that we couldn’t trust anyone here. No matter what he said, I didn’t trust him. Even if I did, I wouldn’t let Athena near him. Not after what I’d seen.
The war games were coming up. She would be a target.
Maybe I needed allies. Or maybe that was all a trick.
No matter what, I didn’t trust a soul here. Nobody had given me a fucking reason to.
Athena was more trusting than I was, but I’d ensure no one took advantage of her. They wanted to be close to her so they could use her magic. Or, more likely, so she wouldn’t use her magic on them. Fear. That’s what it was.
They were afraid of her.
And they wanted to ally with us so they could avoid being targeted by her.
I scoffed. They had no fucking idea what she could do. What I could do. What we could do together.
And the wildest part?
We weren’t even claimed.
And nobody here had a damn clue.
The next morning we ran.
And we ran.
And we ran.
I didn’t mind it. I’d run for hours at a time when I was younger. It had always cleared my head. And a clear head meant I could act rationally.
A clear head meant I was slightly less dangerous to myself.
My lungs burned as I pumped my legs until they ran on muscle memory alone. The pain faded into a welcomed agony that allowed me to let go of my thoughts.
Let go of her.
Six miles into running the perimeter of the Ministry’s land, I slowed my pace, waiting for her to catch up.
She wasn’t alone. A woman ran beside her. One I hadn’t noticed before.
“It would strengthen your magic. Just like it did when you first claimed,” the girl said between breaths.
Athena was short of breath when she replied. “Sinner wouldn’t approve of that.”
Clearly, she hadn’t noticed me. Either that, or they thought my hearing was much worse than it was.
“He would if it kept you safe. It would keep you both safe, actually. Everyone benefits from a large claimed group.”
A large claimed group?