Chapter 15
FIFTEEN
margaret
“These dresses are hideous,” Katherine groaned. “They really expect us to celebrate when this is what we have to wear?”
I took in my own reflection. My gown was cream-colored with lace cutouts on the shoulders. It wasn’t skimpy by any means, but it was certainly different from anything I’d ever worn.
I didn’t look like a child in this dress.
I looked…well, I looked good. Not awful, at least. After months in a dungeon, wearing the same tattered clothing day after day, I supposed I’d begun thinking the worst about myself.
But here, in the fabric that molded to my larger-than-most breasts and hips that were starting to curve again now that I was being fed regularly, I felt pretty.
“Relax,” I said with a huff.
She was in the middle of squeezing into another dress she’d pulled from the armoire. There were plenty of garments provided for all of us, and we’d let the other women take their picks before we chose our own. It was only right. They’d been here the longest.
Besides. I wasn’t looking to start any more conflict than I already had.
I was a lover at heart. Not a fighter.
And now, I was a lover in a pretty dress.
“How can I relax looking like this?” she moaned. She straightened the pink, long-sleeved dress and spun around.
It looked good. At least—I thought it did.
But Katherine had about twenty other curse words to describe how she looked.
“Why does it matter, anyway?” I asked. “You’re claimed.
It’s not like you’ll be trying to get anyone’s attention.
” I tore my gaze away from her and busied myself with one of the silver necklaces I’d picked out.
I couldn't look at her without thinking about what I’d seen the other night in the alley.
Her and Benedict? Sure, they were claimed, but I thought they hated each other!
She certainly acted like she hated him.
Maybe they did it for their magic only. Claimed pairs, from what I’d heard, had some sort of weird, freaky sex links.
But even when one despised the other?
Or had I been reading the signs wrong? Had they secretly loved each other this whole time? Had they only been pretending so they could carry on their romance in secret?
No. No way. The word romance and Katherine simply didn’t go together.
“Just help me with this zipper,” she sighed. “We’re going to be late.”
A few minutes later—after Katherine nearly kicked a hole in the wall trying to choose which shoes to wear—we slipped out onto the street and made our way toward the courtyard.
Lanterns and string lights littered the sky above us. Music played in the distance, blending with the laughter and cheering of dozens of people.
From the look of it, everyone was having fun. I didn’t think I’d seen anyone genuinely enjoy themselves since we arrived.
Except Benedict and Katherine the other night.
Anyway… All the women had been so serious. So uptight.
But tonight, they laughed and smiled and joked around.
A massive feast had been prepared near the other side of the courtyard, and nearby, Carter and a few of the others were drinking what I assumed was ale. I’d hardly seen them since we arrived here.
They looked good. Healthier.
Better.
It was strange to see them out in the open rather than forced into darkness or hiding in the cramped, dank dungeons. It was almost awkward—like we were no longer those people, so we no longer knew each other.
And Elijah wasn’t here. That part felt wrong.
“There’s Benedict,” I pointed out casually. That was a normal thing to say, right? Not awkward? Not weird in an I know what you did in the dark way?
“Ugh,” Katherine moaned. “Enough of him. Let’s get drinks and have our own fun tonight, okay?”
I gawked at her.
“What?” she asked.
“You actually want to have fun?” I questioned. “With me?”
She rolled her eyes and clamped a hand down on my wrist. “Don’t be so dramatic, you prude. I’d rather drink with you than any of those gross men or those bitchy girls. Come on.”
I guess she had a point, though past me would have lost all respect for current me for wanting to get a drink with this woman.
She brought me over to a small bar, where one of the few men living here in the village poured drinks with a smile on his face.
“Two glasses of whatever will get us drunk,” she said.
“Katherine!” I chided, eyeing the handsome bartender.
“What?” she asked. “The night will be much more fun this way. Trust me.”
The man gave her a flirty smile and poured a clear, bubbly liquid into two tall glasses. “Anything for the two prettiest ladies at the party tonight.”
My face heated instantly. Ugh. Silently, I cursed myself. Darn you, Margaret! At least pretend like you’ve been complimented before!
“You say that to all the women here, don’t you?” Katherine teased.
She was good at flirting. Natural, almost.
Me? I was a train wreck on two feet.
But it was better that way. I wasn’t looking for romance. Not after what happened back home.
Elijah had done all he could to protect me. He’d suffered so much—all because of me. The things he’d done…
I shook my head, forcing the thoughts out of my mind. Thinking about that would ruin my night. Besides, Elijah had told me for years to forget that stuff.
But how could I? After what our father had done to him…
I wouldn’t throw that away. Not for anyone.
But that didn’t mean I couldn’t have a drink and have a little fun, right? Awkward or not, we’d been invited.
Embrace the awkwardness, Margaret. They don’t like you as it is, so what’s the harm?
Katherine finished her casual conversation with the handsome dark-haired bartender and turned to face me, glass in hand.
“Cheers,” she said, smiling.
“You’re strangely happy,” I admitted. “But whatever it is, I’m enjoying it. Keep it up.” I clinked my glass against hers and we both drank.
I’d never tasted alcohol before. Elijah and I never drank—not after watching our father get drunk and sleep in his own vomit more times than I could count.
But this was different. This felt fun.
It felt normal, and god, I wanted to be normal, just for one night.
These people didn’t know Sinner. They weren’t thinking of me as the little sister of the big, scary guy.
I was just a girl.
Half of them hated me, yeah, but wasn’t that better than pretending to like me so my brother didn’t kill them with his phantoms?
I liked to think so.
Katherine and I finished our first glass of bubbly liquid and quickly ordered another. Then another.
My head spun, my vision blurring, but the giggles from dancing and twirling around the cobblestone dance floor came easily.
I hooked my elbow through Katherine’s and spun her around, not caring about what the people around us thought. We laughed and laughed, she pulled the stray pieces of hair out of my face and I did the same for her.
An hour passed. Then two.
I lost track of how many drinks we’d had. How many trips to the bathroom she’d drunkenly assisted me with. How many times she’d held my pale lace dress up for me while I peed.
Just girly things like that.
I was supposed to hate her.
But here—with the defiance, the rebels that were supposed to change our lives, who were supposed to fight for my brother’s freedom—I actually started to like her.
No, not just like.
Love.
Not love love. Though, I wasn’t sure I’d totally deny an advance if the day ever came.
But the raw friendship I’d developed with her was a weird one I never saw coming.
I’d seen the ugliest pieces of her, and LORD, they were hideous. But I was still here, wiping the sweat from her face as she tipped me back on the dance floor.
She didn’t know the ugliest pieces of me, though.
Would she look at me the same if she knew?
If she discovered how damaged I was?
“If you two keep dancing like this, you’ll die of exhaustion.” Benedict's voice cut through our spouts of laughter.
“Excuse me.” I held up a hand. “We’re just getting started, thank you very little.”
My words mostly came out correctly, though a burp slipped through Katherine’s lips, and I fell into a fit of giggles.
“Just getting started?” he asked, his hands in his pockets. “It’s well past midnight.”
My breath caught. Past midnight?
It wasn’t possible. There was no way that much time had passed.
I scanned the area around us, willing my vision to stop spinning.
Sure enough, most of the crowd from earlier had disappeared.
A few others still danced under the night sky, but the food was mostly gone, and the handsome bartender had already packed up the bar.
My heart sank. Bummer.
“Come on,” Benedict said. “You two need to get to bed.”
Katherine was too drunk to hide the desire on her face as she stared at him. And though he was much more sober, he stared at her, too.
“You two go,” I pushed, taking a step back. “I’m going to cool off a bit first.”
Benedict frowned, looking around. “That doesn’t sound like a good idea. I don’t want to leave you here all alone.”
“Please,” I gently pushed Katherine toward him.
She stumbled, but he caught her easily.
“This place is safer than anywhere I’ve ever been,” I told him. “I’m too hot to go to bed right now.” I wiped the sweat from my forehead with the back of my hand for emphasis. “You two go.”
“Fine,” he said. “But be careful.”
I waved dismissively. “Yeah, yeah.”
He gave me one more look. Then he wrapped an arm around Katherine’s waist and started down the narrow path to the lodging buildings.
I wanted to follow them. To demand they admit the truth to me, to stop living this lie.
I wanted to admit that I’d seen them. That I knew the truth.
But what good would that do? Clearly, neither of them trusted me enough to tell me.
That hurt.
Yet it was no reason to be hateful to them. It was no reason to make them uncomfortable.
So I left it alone.
The river in the distance trickled, audible now that the music had mostly died down.
Some party. It flew by, and I didn’t remember an announcement being made.
I probably shouldn’t have had so much to drink.
Oh well. It was fun, and I hadn’t had fun in such a long time.
I took a stroll down to the glittering river. Though the need to cool off had been an excuse, it turned out that I really could use the fresh air.
The music faded as I made my way down to the edge of the valley.
Mean girls and useless work aside, I actually didn’t hate it here.
I only wished I could share this with Sinner. Athena, too. They deserved a peaceful place like this. They deserved happiness.
Sinner and I’d never had a beautiful night view like this to look out on. We’d never had the peaceful echo of owls hooting in the distance. We’d never had quiet. Not without fear, anyway.
Back home, the quiet had always come with a silent warning. It reminded us to be on guard, that dangerous could strike at any moment.
“Walking all alone, little snake?”
I almost screamed, spinning around to find a dark-haired man leaning against a tree trunk to my right. He wore a long black coat and was dressed like he’d been at the party, but I hadn’t seen him. And I definitely would have noticed him.
“Ugh,” I groaned. “You again. Following me, now?”
He pushed himself off the tree and took a few steps toward me. A normal woman might’ve been freaked out by a strange man approaching her in the dark.
But I was far from normal.
“Why?” he asked. “Does that bother you?”
What a strange man. “Only if you have bad intentions,” I answered honestly. “I’m not sure I can trust you yet.”
He smiled, wicked and handsome. “You probably should not.”
Head tilted, I studied him. “Why haven’t I seen you around here before?”
“Maybe you haven’t been looking, little snake.”
A huff escaped me. “I would remember if I’d seen you.”
“Why?” He smiled, those eyes gleaming. “I’m that memorable?”
“Maybe.” I blushed. “Or maybe I’m just that observant.”
He circled me slowly, a predator sizing up its prey.
While I might look like prey, and I might even act like prey at times, he had no idea what getting tangled up with me meant.
I wasn’t afraid of him. I’d gone up against much, much bigger monsters and survived. He was simply a man.
A man dressed up with a pretty smile and a slick black coat, but alas, only a man.
“Observant,” he repeated, “yes, you are.”
“What do you want with me?” I asked.
He knelt at the edge of the river, his coat brushing the wet grass behind him, and picked up one of the gray rocks from the bank. “I did not expect someone like you to walk into this camp, Margaret.”
I stilled. “How do you know my name?”
“I know a lot about you,” he mused. “But I admit I’d like to know much more.”
“Have you ever heard of stranger danger?” I asked, taking a step back. “Because I don’t even know your name, yet you’re following me around and demanding to know things about me.”
“My name?” he repeated.
I nodded, my feet moving me closer to the running water instead of farther away like they should.
“My name is Gideon.”
My heart stuttered. Gideon? The one man we weren’t supposed to speak to?
No—that couldn’t be right. This handsome, charming stranger couldn’t be the one they warned us about.
Scratch that. This was exactly the type of thing that would happen to me.