40. I Can’t Hurt Her
I Can’t Hurt Her
Remme
E verything is dark and muffled, like I am underwater. Distant shouting echoes around me, but I can't make out the words. A heavy weight presses down on my chest, making it difficult to breathe.
Where am I? The last thing I remember is the battle raging in the cathedral, and the searing pain as Darius' pierced my side. After that, only darkness.
Sensation begins returning slowly. I become aware of softness beneath me and a dull throbbing in my abdomen. With great effort, I pry my heavy eyelids open. Blurred shapes and colors swim before me, gradually coming into focus. I am in my royal bedchamber, weak sunlight filtering through the arched windows. The familiar opulent gold furnishings and silk draperies surround me.
Turning my head is a monumental effort. I see a figure slumped in a chair beside the bed, face hidden by cascading golden strands of hair. Scarlet. She is here. I try to call out to her, but only manage a faint rasp. Still, it is enough. Her head jerks up, eyes wide.
"King Remme!" Scarlet cries, leaning forward to grasp my hand. "Thank Halisar, you're awake!"
I reflexively flinch away from her touch. A look of confusion and hurt flashes across her face. My chest constricts at that, but I have to be cautious. The curse is still upon me. I cannot risk harming Scarlet too.
"I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t have," she mumbles as she pulls herself away.
I sigh, my voice still rough and weak. "No, please. It’s old habits. I just don’t want to hurt you."
Understanding dawns in her eyes. They soften with sympathy, but she respectfully moves her chair back a bit. "Of course. I'm just so very relieved you're recovering. We were all terrified we might lose you."
My lips quirk up slightly. "Come now, you know me better than that. I don't fall so easily." I slowly push myself more upright against the pillows with a wince. My side still aches fiercely, but the bleeding appears to have stopped. One of the perks to having to always be healed with magic and no physical touch is that all of my healing happens quickly.
Scarlet gives a small smile at my bravado, though her eyes are still shadowed with lingering fear and grief. She has endured so much hardship. I wish desperately to comfort her, but do not dare get closer. Her eyes flick down and I realize that I’m naked and only covered slightly by a golden blanket covering only the most important parts at this point. I adjust it so more of me is covered but find myself enjoying the way her eyes are soaking me in.
An idea comes to me then. "Scarlet, please open the top drawer of my desk. There is something inside I need you to bring me."
She looks puzzled but does as I request without argument. I watch her closely as she slides open the drawer and freezes. Even from across the room, I see her breath hitch and eyes widen. Gently, reverently, she lifts out the bejeweled golden crown and carries it over.
"Why...why does Rose not have this?" Scarlet asks softly. I can see the struggle on her face to contain further questions.
"Because I made a mistake." I take a slow breath before continuing gently. "I must know something, Scarlet, and I beg you to answer me honestly. Was it you who broke into the palace to steal this crown? Twice?"
Shock flits across her delicate features. She stares down at the glittering crown cradled in her hands, conflicting emotions warring on her face. I hold my breath, praying I have not made a grave mistake in my suspicions.
“I promise, you will not be punished. I just need to know.”
Finally Scarlet lifts her gaze to meet mine directly. "Yes," she admits in a near-whisper. "That was me." Then, before I can react, she reaches out and lays her hand softly upon mine.
I freeze, stunned. Her warm, living flesh does not harden to gold at my touch. She is immune to the curse. Which can only mean...
"It really is you," I breathe. "How did I get so lucky that the one who can help me control the curse is also the one I want at my side?"
Scarlet's eyes shimmer with relieved tears even as she nods. Overcome with emotion, I clasp both her hands in mine tightly. For the first time in over a decade, I feel the skin of another. And not just anyone - the woman fate herself intended for me.
I pull her onto the bed beside me and reverently caress Scarlet's face, still barely daring to believe this is real. She leans instinctively into my touch, eyes drifting closed. My thumb gently traces the silken skin of her cheekbone. I have forgotten such tender intimacy could exist between two people. It overwhelms me.
"I thought I might lose you before we ever had the chance to share this," I admit raggedly. "When I saw you walking down that cathedral aisle..."
Scarlet's eyes fly open, filled with sorrow and regret. "I never wanted any part of that," she says fiercely. "Greystone and my stepmother forced me into it. I despised every moment in that monster's presence."
I smile sadly and draw her closer until our foreheads touch. "I know. Forgive me, I did not mean to imply otherwise. You showed such courage facing him."
She lets out a shaky breath, tension slowly leaving her body. We stay that way in silence for a time, simply reveling in each other's presence and the knowledge that we are both safe. I gently stroke her hair, still hardly able to believe she is real and unharmed. She silently traces the golden tattoos that cover my body. Her fingers brushing over my skin giving me thoughts that I shouldn’t have but are only natural considering I haven’t felt anything this tender in so long.
At length, Scarlet pulls back to meet my gaze. "I need to be honest with you about something else as well. I know."
“About what?”
She waves her hand around the room. “About your curse. With us being together now, is it over?”
I shake my head wearily. "No, I fear it remains. I was never going to have it disappear. I was sixteen and foolish. In my arrogance, I thought curses were only tales told to frighten children. I thought I could outsmart them by asking for a way to increase my riches in the kingdom without taking from my people. To give them a better life." I give a hollow laugh. "How wrong I was."
I look down at my hands, which have brought nothing but suffering.
“But that doesn’t fit what Fairy Godmother said,” Scarlet mutters to herself. A look of concern and confusion on her face.
“Who?”
Her eyes widen when she realizes that I heard her.
“She’s a sort of mentor to me. Someone who was there when they looked for a solution to your curse. It was her who cast the spell for you to gain control over it. Wait! She never said it would be broken. The curse will be controlled, not eliminated. Could you do me a favor?”
I look at Scarlet curiously. "Of course, anything for you."
She scans the room, eyes landing on one of the golden blankets folded at the foot of the bed. "Try turning that back from gold to fabric," she suggests.
My eyes widen in surprise. In all these years under the curse's influence, it had never occurred to me to attempt to reverse its effects. I had assumed items transformed to gold were lost to me forever.
I focus intently on the glittering blanket, my foot stretched out to touch it so I don’t have to let go of Scarlet, calling up every ounce of willpower and picturing it as soft woven wool once more. I gasp as the metal ripples, then begins slowly reforming into pliant cloth. Within moments the blanket is fully restored, looking as if it was never touched by my curse.
I shift just enough to reach out a trembling hand to grasp it, almost afraid this is a dream that will shatter at my touch. But the blanket remains blessedly warm and pliant. I clutch it close, overwhelmed by the simple pleasure of feeling something soft once more. My eyes burn with emotion.
After a moment I become aware of Scarlet watching me with a tender smile. There is no judgement in her gaze, only warmth and understanding. Embarrassed to have been so undone by something so mundane, I try to subtly brush the moisture from my eyes.
Scarlet's hand covers mine, stilling it. "It's alright," she says gently. "You have endured so much loneliness with grace. Do not hide your joy now that we can share this burden together."
Her compassion dissolves the last of my restraint. I pull her close, clinging to this sweet miracle in my arms - both the blanket and Scarlet herself. She holds me as the tears fall unchecked, murmuring soothing words. We stay entwined together as my shaking subsides.
Finally I take a deep, steadying breath and draw back to meet Scarlet's eyes. "Thank you," I say hoarsely. "For this gift, and for having faith there was still some humanity left in me after all this time locked away."
Her answering smile outshines the sun. "Of course. We will get through this, one step at a time." She nods encouragingly. "Now, can you try turning it back? We should see if you can control the transformations."
I nod, filled with new conviction. Focusing once more, I watch the blanket morph back to lifeless gold. Another deep breath, and it softens anew at my command. I let out an incredulous laugh.
Scarlet grins and squeezes my hands excitedly. "Control. You truly get to have what you wished for now." In her joy, she throws her arms around my neck. I cling to her, blanket wrapped snugly around us both, cocooned in fragile new beginnings.