20 #2
My cheeks flamed. “Am I?”
“I thought being back in Noctis would feel the same, but it doesn’t. It’s heavier. Sharper.” He hesitated, gaze flicking back to my lips. “It’s vexing. And you are—”
I didn’t let him finish.
I boldly leaned in, closing the space between us, and pressed my lips to his. He groaned in surprise as he kissed me back even harder, stoking the flames under my skin. My kiss was meant to be soft and light, but the moment our mouths met, something broke. A dam, a wall, I couldn’t say.
“I’m what?” I asked coyly, enjoying another of his delighted groans.
“A beautiful temptation,” Erebus bit out, cradling my face as the kiss deepened, intense and searching. I tasted the spice from the cider we’d shared earlier, felt the scrape of his teeth against my lips. “A craving I’ll never sate. A dream I never wish to end.”
My heart pounded as his other hand faltered at my waist. He was still holding back.
“You can touch me,” I assured, tilting closer. “I want you to.”
He drew back, shuddering. “I—” His breath caught, fingers flexing as if he was fighting himself. “I don’t want to hurt you.”
“You won’t,” I whispered. “I trust you.” I brushed my fingertips over his chest, feeling the tension in him, the restraint. His breath hitched as I traced higher. “So don’t hold back,” I added, lips curving as I lifted my jaw toward his. “Because I won’t, either.”
He exhaled sharply, restraint cracking as he pulled me closer.
I encouraged his exploration, guiding his hands across my body.
Showing him every soft, hidden place I wanted him to touch.
When I couldn’t handle it any longer, his powerful frame rose to cover mine, mouth trailing down my neck, finding my shoulder.
I loved the weight of him over me, the way his hips ground into mine and how his hair tickled my face. My skin was glowing, heating, burning.
We weren’t in armor or leather, only soft wool and thin cotton.
But I wanted more.
I wanted to feel his bare skin against my own, as I had that night we’d spent swimming under a kaleidoscope of swirling stars.
I wanted to savor his heartbeat, his warmth, his scent.
Every soft shudder and hitched breath. My hands found their way to his hair, still damp, and I tugged him closer.
Still kissing me, he removed his shirt, tossed it to the ground.
I followed suit, pulling my nightgown over my head.
“Maker, you’re exquisite,” he growled, making me liquid. “My undoing. My salvation.”
Still covering me, Erebus sighed in delight as he swept his tongue against mine. I melted into his embrace, caressing his shoulder blades, his spine, lower. He let out another tense, delicious breath, continuing to do incredible things with his tongue inside my mouth.
“Erebus…”
“Do you want to stop?” he asked, leaning back to look at me. His silver eyes were heavy-lidded with desire, his skin flushed and warm.
“It’s funny—I once told you to ‘stop kissing me like it’s our last.’ Do you remember that?” I asked, fighting the lump rising in my throat. I was trying to ignore my anger—my grief—but it was worming its way up regardless. “But then we walked free. We left your castle and became Shadow Weavers.”
“Of course I remember,” he said roughly.
“Is that what you want? For me to stop kissing you like it’s our last?
” He pressed a gentle, almost reverent kiss to my forehead.
“If you want me to kiss you softly, I will. If you want to be held, I will hold you. If you want me to stop, I will.” He found the lone tear trailing down my face and swept it away.
“If you want me to tell you I love you until dawn, I will speak the words until my voice is raw.”
I shook my head. “I want none of that.”
He blinked, brow furrowing as he searched my face. “None?”
“I want you to kiss me like it’s our last,” I corrected, cupping his face. He went completely still. “We have no idea what tomorrow will bring. I’d like to savor this night.” My face was thoroughly flushed. His was, too. “Properly,” I added.
Erebus nodded, shadows churning in his silver eyes. He understood well enough.
“Then let us savor it,” he said, his voice a molten whisper. “If you will it to be so, if you should ask it—I would have all of you.”
My flush spread to my neck, my chest. That was exactly what I had in mind.
“I’m yours, Erebus. Always, I’m yours.”
“You’re certain?” he breathed, ghosting his thumb across my lips. As if he couldn’t believe it.
“Yes,” I said, shivering in anticipation. My hands were at his pants, ready to undo the laces.
He made a dark, eager sound—a delicious mixture between a sigh and a growl.
And then he pulled me even closer.
The world outside disappeared. There was no Istralla, no Light Bringer, no demons, no Corruption. Just him—his hands, his lips, his warmth—and the way we fit together, as if we were made for this, for each other.
Nothing but him.
Nothing but us.
He pressed dizzying kisses along my throat as I worked at the laces of his pants, hands clumsy with anticipation.
When the last tie came undone and the fabric slackened, he stilled, forehead pressed to mine, as if this moment demanded reverence.
And perhaps it did. Because when our bare skin finally met—his chest against mine, our hips aligned—I forgot how to breathe.
I could feel every line of his body against mine, from the taut planes of his stomach to his muscled thighs.
It was overwhelming, being touched like this.
Completely and fully, without pretense or distance.
There was no armor between us now. No silk, no shadows, no shame.
And Maker, he was beautiful. Terrifyingly so.
Not in a delicate way, but in the way of storms and seas and midnights.
I curled my hands around his shoulders, needing him closer, needing that contact, needing him.
I wanted him all. The hardened edges, the quiet fears, the unwavering strength he didn’t always know he carried.
And I wanted to give him all of me—the parts I guarded, the ones I thought too strange, too much, too unworthy.
With him, I didn’t feel small or fragile or broken.
I felt incandescent. Like the slow build of sunrise.
I wanted more.
The low ache in my belly was a need I didn’t know how to voice, so I wrapped my legs around his waist, asking without words.
He kissed me again, this time on my lips, and it didn’t feel like lust. It felt like surrender.
Devotion. A silent vow we both understood.
One of his hands found both of mine, guiding them above my head, and for a moment I swore I saw a pulse of shadow spill across the room like a wave.
We were a tide swelling beyond the edge of control. Wild. Scared. Eternal.
In another world, we’d have all the time in the universe. We’d have our entire lives stretched ahead of us—and maybe even more than that. We’d marry. We’d have a family. But for tonight, we had only each other. Tomorrow wasn’t promised, but tonight was.
And it would have to be enough.
“I love you,” he sighed into my mouth, my legs, my spine.
“I love you,” I echoed into his neck, his hair, his hands.
We moved together like shadows across a bed of starlight, breaths mingling, hearts pounding in sync.
It was both too much and not enough, and when it built to a crest, when we both trembled and cried out and clung to each other as if the world was ending—as if the world was beginning—tears fell down my face.
Fell down his, too. We stilled, tangled together beneath the quilt.
The weight of the world had returned, but it was lighter somehow.
His arm rested across my waist, his breath gentle against my hair.
“Esmer,” he murmured. I shifted just enough to look up at him, to take in the rare vulnerability in his expression. “Whatever happens tomorrow—”
I pressed a finger to his mouth, cutting him off.
“We’ll face it together,” I finished.
He tenderly kissed my palm, nodding his assent. And when I rested my head against his chest, listening to the steady rhythm of his heart, I let myself believe it. For just this night, the rest of the world could wait.
“Erebus?” I murmured, unsure if he was still awake.
“Hmm?”
“I’d like to do that again,” I said, face heating as my thoughts wandered to the pulse of shadow that I thought I glimpsed. “I can think of some things I’d like to try in the Dream Realm.”
He gave a surprised laugh, the sound absolutely brimming with delight. It was the kind of emotion I wanted to coax from him the rest of my life.
“That can be arranged,” he said, kissing my forehead. I could feel him positively grinning against my skin. “Because I can think of some things, too.”