Chapter I
I
She returned from her run with Sango feeling lighter. The madness that had seized her was abating. She would throw away Mama G’s products, she would bare her heart to Golden Boy and they would make it through the chaos. Fuck the curse. She wasn’t going to let that stop them from being together.
When she saw him standing at her gate, she took it as a sign. Destiny was on her side. They exchanged a chaste kiss and then he followed her inside.
“How was your trip? Has your uncle been thoroughly guided to the great beyond?”
“You’re a funny one. The trip was all right. I spent most of the time wishing you were there.”
She resisted the urge to point out that he could have invited her. She poured water into Sango’s bowl and then joined Golden Boy in the east living room, sitting beside him and wrapping her arms around his waist. She was sweaty but guessed he wouldn’t mind.
“Mo, you stink,” he grumbled as he tried to pull away. She raised herself and rubbed her cheek against his. “Ugh, Mo!” He succeeded in disentangling himself and went to the bathroom to clean up.
Across the room, Sango was nudging her handbag with his nose.
She had forgotten to give him his snack but was too lazy to stand up.
When GB re-entered, drying off his face with the bathroom hand towel, she pointed to the bag.
“Sango expects a treat as a reward for going on a walk,” she said. “Would you mind?”
“He expects to be rewarded…for walking?”
“Yup, and if I don’t comply, he might never follow me outside again. It’s in the front pocket of my bag.”
Golden Boy leant forward and scooped up the handle of her bag, spilling half the contents on the floor with his sudden motion.
As he picked up lipsticks, a wallet, several pens and pencils, Monife spotted the pad.
She had completely forgotten about it. She stood up just as Golden Boy lifted the object from the floor; time slowed.
Perhaps he wouldn’t look closely at it, perhaps she could grab it from him, perhaps…
but it was too late. He had noticed the text.
His name was hard to miss; it was written in capitals, black ink against the white paper pinned to the fabric.
He raised his head and looked at her, his eyes stony.
“What is this?”
She didn’t answer him. Her brain wasn’t working fast enough. It was obvious that a lie was needed, but what lie?
“Mo?”
“It’s nothing.”
“This isn’t nothing, Mo!”
“It’s…I was…” He was waiting. He would be patient. He would wait for her to speak. But this time, she wished he would talk over her. How to explain his name on a pad? “I don’t…”
“You don’t have anything to say?”
“I may have made a mistake, Kalu, but…I didn’t even go through with it.”
“For God’s sake, Mo, juju? I thought you were better than that.”
“I just wanted us—”
“No. This is about you. About your needs and your insecurities. You’re not thinking about me at all.” He was looking at her as though he was seeing her for the first time; and he was disgusted with what he was seeing. “I would never have thought you would go this low.”
“Babe, I’m sorry. I was out of line. I…I…just panicked.”
“I don’t want to hear your excuses. You could have talked to me.”
“I tried that…”
“So you don’t get your way and…you decide to use juju?!” It sounded terrible the way he phrased it. It hadn’t been that way at all. She had to get him to see reason.
“I barely used it.”
“Oh! Great! You barely used it!”
“I was just afraid I would lose you.”
He swore. He never swore. “I told you you could trust me.”
“But you’re still seeing her!”
He rubbed the middle of his forehead with his fingers, as if he were some long-suffering husband.
“If you can’t trust me, what are we even doing?”
“Kalu, please…” She began to walk towards him, reached for him; but he ignored the gesture and took several steps back.
“Maybe what my mum says is true. Maybe you’re not…not right for me.”