Chapter V
V
The next time the house was empty, Mo called him. When he showed up, very few words were spoken. She took him straight to her room. She did not give herself a chance to think about anything else. It was surprisingly easy to shut it all out. She was almost ashamed of how easy it was.
Afterwards, they lay in the bed together.
She thought of how many times she had imagined this, how they would fit together perfectly, and they had.
And where things did not flow organically, she would tell him how to touch her, where to touch her.
He received the feedback gallantly and learnt quickly.
She only ever had to mention a need once.
She rested her head on his chest and closed her eyes as he gently stroked her hair.
“How are you feeling?”
“I’m not entirely sure…”
He didn’t say anything else for a while. She looked up at the clock. Her mother would be back from work in two hours. But she couldn’t bring herself to say this out loud. She did not want to burst the bubble they were in.
“I didn’t think I would be back.”
“Why are you back?”
“It is impossible to resist you. God knows I tried.”
She felt a little fizz of anger at his words. Several choice responses were piling up in her mind, but how many times had her aunt told her that quarrelsome women drove men away.
“Aren’t you happy? In your marriage?”
Several minutes went by, and she began to doubt that she would ever get an answer. But then, “I…Amara is a good woman. And she deserves heaven and earth. But I miss you so, so much, Mo. I knew I would miss you. But perhaps I underestimated just how much. I’m sorry. I’m sorry for all of this.”
He began to disentangle himself from her, but she used her thighs to grip his leg, preventing him from moving.
“You can think about all your sins after you leave. But stay present with me. For the rest of the time we have together. We don’t have to talk.”
So they didn’t. She listened to his heartbeat, and she breathed in his scent. Eventually he fell asleep and she was rocked by his gentle snoring. She pretended that they were married, in their marital home, on their marital bed; and that she could have true happiness too.