Chapter 31 #2
“Emma, what are you hiding?” My eyes fly to his, and his beautiful face almost makes me stagger. Soul mates. I fidget; he can’t make me talk.
“I have two full days to catch up on. I need to go home and get changed and then go see Bob. Thanks again for your help.”
Oh, and we are soul mates, bye-bye. I smile my bizarre, toothy grin, give him a double thumbs-up for good measure, and then with my thumbs still stuck out, I awkwardly wave goodbye. I hurry out of the room like my bottom is on fire.
The hellhound follows on my heels.
“Stay, talk to me. I want to know what you aren’t telling me, what you are hiding. I know you, Emma. Tell me what’s wrong, let me help.”
“I’ve done nothing wrong,” I squeak as I power-walk to the door.
Oh heck, I don’t want to be in a situation where the hellhound feels the need to interrogate me. I need to get home. My heart hammers in my chest and my hands shake. The scent of my fear will be winging its way up the hellhound’s nostrils.
I pant. I can’t get enough air into my lungs. Oh God, oh God. Coming here was a mistake.
“What are you hiding?” He catches up, grips my shoulders, and spins me around.
He deftly manoeuvres me until I’m pinned against the hallway wall.
His muscly forearms land on either side of my head and I gasp as his massive body presses against mine.
My blouse and his T-shirt are thin barriers between us.
The clothes between us might as well be non-existent for how aware of him I am.
My breasts press against him and with each panting breath and the friction it creates, my nipples harden.
I feel my face turning bright red with embarrassment as his solid bulk against my softness reminds me I haven’t got a bra on.
I swallow a mortified moan.
He cups my face, thumb under my chin as he angles my face until we are nose to nose. He looks into my eyes. “What are you hiding?” he growls. Something in his pupils flares and the orange flames flicker.
The clink of chains.
I shudder with fear. My body shakes as the lust that was dragging me down disappears. I feel nothing now but fear…it vibrates through his fingers.
He draws his knuckles across my cheek and I flinch. “Tell me what you are hiding.”
I swallow. “You…are frightening…me,” I stammer out.
“That is not what you are hiding.” He glides his fingers down my throat and grips the back of my neck. His hand circles my throat. My pulse pounds underneath his fingers. No, I can’t hide how much he frightens me.
“You are my mate.”
Oh bloody hell.
My eyes widen with horror. No-no-no-no, shut up Emma, say nothing else, I scream in my head.
“You’re my mate,” I repeat, because saying it once isn’t enough. “Demons have soul mates, can you believe that? Hahaha…” An awkward, nervous laugh spills from my lips. “Well…if you believe a crusty old book…I am not sure I do.” I try to wiggle away.
If it’s even possible, John moves closer, his eyes heavy-lidded and filled with awe. He dips his head.
“Mate…”
“No.” Oh God, no. I turn my face away, John brushes the wisps of hair from my face and rubs his nose against the pulse at my neck, breathing in my scent. I tremble.
“You love me in my hellhound form…as Riddick, you love me.” John speaks softly, coaxingly, his voice warm and low.
I wave my hands to the side to ward him off. I work them between us and try to push him away. I shake my head as if doing so will stop his words.
No, this is not happening. I voice my thoughts.
“No, it’s not happening, the soul-mate thing.
” I vigorously shake my head. He hasn’t denied it, so John must feel it too.
The awe in his eyes is freaking me out. “You aren’t good…
we…we aren’t good enough for each other.
Fate got it wrong.” Rule number two: Be kind.
“Yes, I loved Riddick as a friend, and I could have loved you too, John.” My voice breaks.
Being honest sucks. “Everything in me wants to love you. Yet I question your motives every second I’m with you. Even now you scare me.”
Like I’d hit a switch, he sucks in a deep breath, and John allows me to push him away.
A rueful expression flashes across his face, and my frightened brain takes in every detail.
The subtle rhythmic movement of the veins in his neck, the tense muscles in his arms and shoulders, his hands clenching and unclenching.
My chin quivers and I press my lips together.
I can’t look at him, his eyes…they are so sad.
“I don’t want to frighten you, Emma.”
“You do, though. You do frighten me, John. What is love without trust?” He doesn’t love me, how could he love me?
“Maybe in another lifetime, but not this one. I’m sorry.
Too much has happened between us.” I implore him to understand, and as my eyes flood with unshed tears, his face becomes hazy.
“I didn’t want to burden you with this. It slipped out.
I am so sorry. Forget I said anything. Forget about me. ”
“I will not let you go. I will prove to you that we can be happy, that I can make you happy,” John whispers as he closes the gap between us and his enormous hands gently caress my face.
I look into his beautiful green eyes. “War is in my blood and war has moulded me. Times change for some people, but not for me. I am a full-blooded warrior—I’m expendable.
I made peace with that a long time ago. But for you, I can try.
I can try to change.” His thumb caresses my bottom lip and dips into my mouth.
The salty taste of his skin floods my mouth.
The urge to flick my tongue across his thumb makes me groan. “You are the first thing that is mine.”
With his words, my heart breaks and my tummy twinges with stress. I drop my head to his chest and suck up the pain.
Ouch, it hurts. God, how this hurts.
“That…” my hand taps his chest, and I slide against the wall and away from him.
The tether between us stretches thin. The tears I was gallantly holding fall.
“…That right there is the problem. John, you said, ‘thing.’ I am not a thing.” I try to lift my chin, but my head is heavy.
I shrug and my lips wobble into a semblance of a smile. A broken smile.
I am not strong enough to deal with this man.
I cringe away from the orange glow that is brightening again in his green eyes.
He frightens me.
Rule number three: Don’t lie to yourself. I am not strong enough. I know that without even trying, without meaning to…he’d destroy me.
So I walk away.
Everything happens for a reason. Pain rips through me and I barely hold in my heart-wrenching sobs.