Chapter 19 #2
“Your soul will die.” He spoke quietly, but with the calm of someone describing the weather, not the end of my existence.
“Then you'll become a shell. A hollow vessel that walks and breathes but has nothing inside it.
Eyes that see but don't comprehend, lungs that breathe without purpose, a heart that beats without feeling. Like the undead.”
“Undead?” My blood turned to ice.
I remembered the crow I'd awakened with my blood spell. How its dead eyes shimmered with emptiness, the unnatural jerk of its movements, the utter wrongness that clung to it like a miasma. But that had been just a bird. Imagining a human—myself—trapped in such a state made my soul shrink in terror.
My hands began to tremble uncontrollably and I clasped them together to hide the weakness. But Wolfe noticed. Wolfe always noticed everything.
“It would be a waste,” he murmured, his eyes traveling over my face. “To lose such fire to nothingness.”
“The spell sounds dangerous.”
“It is dangerous.”
“I don’t want to lose my soul.”
“Then let’s hope it doesn’t come to that.”
“Does my soul not mean anything to you?” I fumed, balling my hand into a fist.
“If that were true, we wouldn’t be talking about it.” His voice dropped to a dangerous timbre. “I’d simply rip you open with my sword and bleed every last drop of blood from your body.”
I stopped breathing, realizing he was serious as fuck.
“This way, you have a chance to comply.” He gave me a curt nod, highlighting the gravity of the situation he’d laid out before me. “And we work together for a common purpose. I’m sure you’d like to be free of your curse.”
“Of course I would.”
“Then be wise and comply.”
I bit into my lip, weighing the choices I had. Everything pointed at being compliant if I wanted my life back. So what choice did I really have? “How long will the spell take?”
“We don’t know that yet. The words and procedure are simple, but we don’t know how long it will take to work. If we’re lucky, we can get through it on the first try. Or we may need to try the spell several times with modifications. We’ll just have to see what happens.”
“Gods, that sounds like it could take a long time.”
“It will take as long as it needs.” He relaxed his shoulders and drank the rest of his wine. “The spell cannot be rushed. Neither can it be done recklessly if you don’t want to lose your soul.”
“Fine. I get it.” Although I didn’t like any part of it. The more I knew, the harder everything felt. The only good thing about this whole ordeal was it would lead me to my father and break the curse. I had to think about that part to stay positive.
“You’d do well to work on regaining your magic.”
I blinked at him, wondering how he knew I’d lost my magic. Since he knew so much about me already, I decided against asking. “I don’t know how.”
“Arielle will help you. You need to listen to her.”
Arielle, whom I’d told to leave me alone? After the way I spoke to her earlier, I doubted she wanted to see me again. “Is there a better way? Something I can work on by myself?”
“No. You will do whatever Arielle tells you. Things will progress faster and smoother that way. We can’t afford to take unnecessary risks. Neither do we have the luxury of time.”
He was right, so I couldn’t argue.
“You’ll be staying with me at my home in Vyrenth Hollow.
It’s an island on the coast of Galaythia.
While you are there, you will not breathe a word of our plans to anyone outside those you have met on board this vessel.
Neither must you tell them about your curse.
Do you understand?” He gave me a long piercing stare.
“Yes.” I narrowed my eyes, finding his request strange. “Is there some other danger I should know about?”
“All you need to know for now is to be wary of everyone. There is more to the mystery of my father’s murder than what either of us know.
It is better that no one knows anything about you.
” His gaze grew sharper. “People will assume you’re from the Ravenwood Realm because of your hair color, so allow them the assumption. ”
I glanced down at the loose strands of my hair resting in the crook of my elbow. My hair color had always given me trouble in the mortal lands. Now it seemed it would become an asset.
All mages from the Ravenwood Realm had hair this color. The only other hair color was silver like grandmother’s, which they got when they were substantially older.
“Is there a chance of someone knowing I’m tied to my father or my family?”
“No. I will create a new persona for you that aligns with our story. That way if anyone decides to dig around they won’t find anything that links you to your family.”
“What is my story? It can’t just tell people I’m from the Ravenwood Realm. I know nothing about the place. And won’t they be able to tell I’m half human?”
“You will say you are an apprentice in training for the Royal Court,” he answered and I could see he’d thought through this plan in great detail.
“That you lived in the human realm and have now decided to live in the magical realm now that you’ve come of age.
Mages from the Ravenwood are highly favored by House Nightblade so no one will question my reasons for wanting you to be part of my court. ”
My pulse quickened despite myself. Everything Mother had forbidden me was now being handed to me on a silver platter by my captor. The twisted justice of it made my stomach clench.
Mother would have locked me away before letting me anywhere near the magical realm, yet here I was—captive and under a guise, yes, but also being offered a position in the royal courts because of my lineage. The irony of this opportunity tasted bitter and sweet.
“What about my name?”
“You can keep Elariya. It’s quite common in the magical realm and amongst Ravenwood mages. I’ll find another surname for you.”
This felt surreal. As if I was stepping into someone else’s life. “That’s it?”
“For your safety, yes. Of course if you speak to the wrong person you’d obviously risk exposure. The laws of Galaythia would demand that I hand you over to the citadel for imprisonment. Execution would follow once we use your blood to track the ring. So I’m sure you’ll want to be cautious.”
My skin crawled beneath my clothes and acid burned my throat. I was right when I feared the worst—imprisonment and execution. I truly had to be careful.
“Why aren’t you handing me over to them?” There had to be a good reason.
“I like to do things my way with less interference from certain people.”
That could explain why he’d taken so few with him to get me. I supposed the fewer people who knew about me, the better. Or rather the fewer people who knew about his plans, the better.
Wolfe crooked his finger toward the shelves, and a little notebook floated over to him. He guided it so it rested on the space on the table before me. It was beautiful with a pink satin cover that had embroidered lilies in the center and on the edges.
The feminine design looked out of place in here amongst the strong, dark, masculine colors. I didn’t remember seeing it on the shelf, but then again I didn’t get much of a look before Wolfe arrived.
“It was my mother's,” Wolfe explained, an undertone of sentiment softening his voice, the first genuine tenderness I'd heard from him. He reached across and brushed the embroidered lilies with unexpected gentleness. “Use it to record your memories.”
I looked up at him, grateful for the gift. Now I had some way of remembering.
The mention of his mother sparked my curiosity. What was she like? What kind of woman had raised this complicated monster?
“Is your mother in Galaythia?”
“No. She’s dead.” The answer came flat, all emotion scoured from his voice, his face a perfect mask. But his fingers curled protectively over the notebook for the briefest moment before withdrawing.
Sometimes, subtle actions gave away more emotion than you wanted to show. In that careful blankness, I saw oceans of grief.
Wolfe had no living parents. Maybe that's why he was so wretched. And it couldn't be easy sitting here in front of me, the daughter of his villain, a constant reminder of the pain my blood had caused.
For just a moment something impossibly fragile pass between us. Not forgiveness, not even understanding, but recognition. It felt like the light of understanding shared between two people bound by a fate neither had chosen.
“I’m sorry for your loss,” I offered, impliedly expressing my sorrow for his
father, too. A muscle ticked in his jaw, betraying the careful control he maintained.
“Thank you.” At least he didn’t look like he hated me. He glanced back at the notebook and placed his focus there as if we hadn’t been talking about his mother.
“Do what you usually do on your resets. If you run out of space, there are more notebooks where that came from.”
“Thanks. I tend to write a lot, so I usually fill one journal per reset.” I had a feeling this time there would be a hell of a lot to record. Who knew what could happen to me in the magical realm.
“Do you read all of them?”
“Pretty much. On the first day of the reset—once I’ve calmed down—my grandmother hands me my journals and the ones she keeps for me. I spend the day reading backwards. Most recent memories first.” I drew in a gentle breath.
“Sometimes I start with hers, because she records my last moments before the reset and how the curse takes me.”
“How does it take you?” He seemed genuinely curious.
“My mind goes right back to Gryffyn Forest, as if I’m there again watching my father being swallowed by the vortex.
Every new memory vanishes even if it happened seconds before.
Then it knocks me out. Sometimes my grandmother puts me to sleep, so it’s less stressful, but I still wake once the curse takes effect. ”
“Let’s hope we get the ring back before then.”
“I truly hope so.” Vulnerability cracked my voice. “I don’t know what I’ll be like when my memory resets.”
“We’ll worry about that when we have to.” His jaw tightened.
“What are you going to do with me after you get the ring back?” That felt like the question of my life and I waited with baited breath for his answer.
Wolfe’s gaze sharpened and he leaned back in his chair, studying me. “I haven’t decided yet. But I suppose your willingness will be key.”
Bastard. The reminder was that I was helpless. The balance of power had tipped again, right into his lap.
“What about my family? They’ll be looking for me.”
“They will be contacted as soon as we find the ring.”
“But I told you they’ll suffer if I don’t marry Thayden.”
“Yes, you did tell me.” The nonchalance flowing through his voice and his stare made my pulse thunder.
“You don’t understand the chancellor and lords of Stormfell want my family gone. They hate us because we’re magic born. They—”
“I’ll see to it that your family won’t suffer.”
“What will you do, though? I need to know. I—”
“That’s enough. I said I’d take care of it and I will.” He glared back at me with a sternness that stopped me from challenging him again. “Unless you have any questions about how you can be more willing, we’re done here.”
What an absolute asshole. He couldn’t even act civilized for five minutes. “No, I have no questions about that.”
“Very well. From now on, Arielle and Garrick will take care of you. Sirril will bring you food and tend to your needs. You may roam the vessel freely. And I don’t think I have to remind you that you can’t escape me.” He tugged on the shackle and I felt it rub against my wrist.
“Can I go now?” I’d had more than enough. My head was going to implode if I stayed a minute longer.
“You may.”
I stood and grabbed the notebook, then made my way out without looking back. Wolfe’s eyes followed me all the way, and even when I was no longer within his line of sight, I still felt him watching.
I stopped on the deck and leaned against the wall.
I was shit scared. The odds were not in my favor and I didn’t have a hope in the hells of escaping this nightmare by running.
But this was step one, and at least I had somewhat of a half promise that my family wouldn’t suffer while I was away. It would help to know what Wolfe was going to do, but thankfully I had something to hold on to so I wouldn’t have to worry myself sick.
Grandmother always said the first step felt the hardest, so I needed to keep my head clear and my emotions controlled to be brave.
I couldn't jeopardize my chances of breaking the curse and finding Father. That was key. But I also had to watch for opportunities to escape.
Much as I hated to admit it, I shouldn't leave before we found the ring. Yet if I got the chance to return home with all this information, I'd take it. Grandmother would find a way to fix everything. I had faith in that.
Until one of those opportunities arose, I'd play Wolfe’s game.
I'd be compliant to survive, and pray to the Blessed Mother for a way out.