Chapter 23
Chapter Twenty-Three
ELARIYA
The next morning, the first thing Thayden did when I sat at the dining table for breakfast was lean in to kiss my cheek.
He seemed nice as pie and almost like he couldn’t wait to see me.
I smiled sweetly back at him, wondering how long he’d stayed with Mira last night.
I wanted to get a sense of his movements. If I was to follow him around, I needed to know.
“Did you sleep well?” he asked.
“Yes, quite well, thank you. And you?” I sharpened my gaze on purpose.
“Perfect. The only other thing that would have made it better is you.” He reached across the table and took my hand. “All in good time, though. You’ll keep my bed warm soon enough.”
I’ll slit your throat first, before you ever get me anywhere near your bed.
He kept hold of my hand for a moment before releasing it and reaching for his tea cup.
"I won't be around much today," he said casually. "There are matters requiring my attention in town."
I offered him a polite smile. "That's alright. I wanted to catch up on my journals."
As expected, Thayden had asked to read last month’s journal.
Grandmother worked the same magic she’d used before to make him see what we wanted him to see.
She did a clever job of making it seem like I didn’t write about what was going on, but focused on my confused feelings about my father and memories instead.
Thayden’s expression brightened, pleased by my understanding. "A seamstress will be arriving around lunchtime to begin discussing your wedding gown." He buttered a piece of bread. "A few other people will also stop by over the next few days. Florists. Musicians. The usual preparations."
Oh, so he was going through with the whole thing again. I was curious about what he’d said to people who’d turned up for the last wedding.
“I’ve decided that the wedding will take place here at the manor,” he added. “It’ll be a private affair.”
I was surprised, but it made sense. Privacy meant less to explain.
"That sounds lovely," I lied with the same plastic smile. “I love it here.”
"Yes. As do I." He smiled. "I want everything to be perfect. The manor has memories both of us will cherish. It seemed fitting we should celebrate our union here.”
I nodded, agreeing wholeheartedly with him.
A servant appeared carrying a silver tray laden with pastries. The sweet scent of cinnamon drifted across the table, and my stomach squeezed.
Just days ago, Sirril had made me his beloved cinnamon porridge and pastry rolls. Food was the first thing that bonded us. Wolfe had ordered him to make all my favorite meals, and they were always just right.
I fought the wave of nostalgia as the servant laid the tray on the table.
Thayden reached for a cinnamon roll. "I remember how much you liked these. Thought you’d appreciate a little taste of home."
For a moment, I simply stared at him. His words and intention almost endeared him to me.
Almost. Though he gazed back at me with longing, he was still the kind of bastard who’d express love for me in one breath and fuck the handmaiden the moment my back was turned.
The notion reminded me how dangerous he could be.
It always amazed me that monsters rarely looked like monsters. Sometimes they looked like noble knights, offering pastries with one hand.
"Thank you." I offered up a sweet smile and forced the venomous thoughts from my mind.
Truth be told, I didn’t give a shit about who he was with. As long as it wasn’t me.
The smile he returned was almost boyish. “Like I said, anything for you.”
We tucked into the food. A short while later, Thayden excused himself. He pressed a kiss to the back of my hand before leaving, and I waited until the door closed behind him before releasing a slow breath.
One hurdle down. A thousand more to go.
His absence today would give me a chance to really explore.
The seamstress arrived after lunch with an entourage of handmaidens. They spent the next few hours taking measurements and drawing sketches, then we discussed fabrics, ribbons, fittings, and flowers.
I smiled and nodded, pretending interest as I played the role expected of me.
Mira was around, too. She had a role to play as well. To watch me.
That was fine. I’d summed her up. She liked working here. Liked Thayden, too, and I didn’t think she was too happy that he was getting married to someone who wasn’t her.
Whenever I spoke to her, I kept the conversation neutral, talking about my interest in being a healer and natural medicines. It bored her to sleep. Soon, she started avoiding me—satisfied I wasn’t a threat she needed to watch incessantly.
The seamstress and her maidens finally left, giving me a few hours before dinner to myself.
Determined not to waste the time, I explored the estate—that was what anyone watching would think.
In reality, I was searching. Observing anything unusual.
I wandered the manor, going through the library and all the rooms—including Thayden’s study. Then I went outside.
I was as thorough as I could be, but I found nothing. Just servants doing their jobs and nobles pretending they had important things to do.
Soon, it was dinnertime, then dusk settled across the estate, and frustration gnawed at me.
Either I was looking in the wrong places, or whoever was involved had become very good at hiding.
It was frustrating.
I didn’t even know what I was looking for and honestly… Thayden wouldn’t hide involvement with dark forces in plain sight, would he?
Such a thing would be hard to find. Practically non-existent.
A storm arrived sometime after midnight. Rain battered the windows in relentless sheets, turning the shadowy world beyond the glass into a blur of darkness with streaks of lightning.
Sleep refused to come. I stood by the window dressed in a silk nightgown, watching the sky split above the mountains.
I thought of Wolfe.
It was strange feeling him in my heart and not hearing him. I hated not being able to reach through the bond and speak to him.
The sensation in my heart was close enough to comfort me yet too far away to touch.
I dared not risk reaching for him again.
Missing him like I was going to die was not a reason to blow my cover.
So… silence it was.
A soft creak sounded in the hallway. A footstep.
Who the hells could that be? Everyone had retired for the night hours ago. I was told Thayden wouldn’t return until late, so as far as I was concerned, I wouldn’t see him until tomorrow.
I turned, slowly, observing the shadows beneath the door. The handle turned, then the door creaked open just enough for a head to appear.
Thayden.
Gods be good. I wasn’t prepared to see him again tonight.
"Sorry," he said quietly. "I didn't mean to startle you."
Wow. An apology? From Thayden?
Blessed Mother. That was new.
Usually, he wouldn’t even knock. He just came and went as he pleased.
My surprise must have shown because he offered an awkward smile. "I thought you'd be asleep. I saw the light beneath your door." His gaze drifted toward the candle burning beside the bed. "I thought I'd check on you."
I blinked. "That's sweet of you."
"Couldn't sleep?"
I looked back toward the rain. "It's the storm." As if to help me out, thunder rumbled in the distance. "I've never liked sleeping when it's raining."
A soft laugh escaped him. "You were always like that."
I glanced back. "Yeah, I guess."
"You'd hide under blankets whenever a storm rolled through Stormfell."
"Some things never change, I suppose."
Another flash of lightning illuminated the room. I allowed my shoulders to tense slightly.
"The thunder makes it worse. Especially when I'm trying to sleep."
His expression softened, and I spotted that version of Thayden beneath the layers of cruelty who appeared thoughtful and considerate.
An idea formed. I’d use that to my advantage. If I wanted to get close to him, I had to take small steps that would have giant leap effects.
"Would you stay?" I asked, holding his gaze.
The question caught him off guard. His eyebrows lifted. "What?"
I clasped my hands and held them close to my chest, allowing a little uncertainty into my voice. "Just until I fall asleep."
For a moment, he simply stared at me. Then something victorious flashed across his face. "Of course.”
I smiled and made my way back over to the bed.
His eyes were glued to my body, and I remembered what I was wearing.
The silk nightgown clung far too close to my skin for comfort—around him.
Still, it served its purpose. By the time I reached the bed, Thayden looked like he would tell me anything if I allowed him to touch me.
Not that I was about to throw myself at him, but if I did, he'd know something was up. He wanted the real me. Whatever version of love he thought existed between us, he wanted it willingly. He'd never settle for anything less. Marriage would get him that.
I slipped beneath the blankets and settled against the pillows. To his credit, he helped pull the covers over me before stepping back.
He dragged the bedside chair closer and sat beside me.
For a few moments, neither of us spoke. We simply stared at each other. The storm continued to rage beyond the windows, rain tapping steadily against the glass.
“Are you going to be out again tomorrow?” I asked, snuggling against the pillow.
“Yeah, but not all day.”
“Are you going to be busy all the time like this when we’re married?”
He shook his head. “Hopefully not. As the new Lord Commander, I have duties Prince Maelor has entrusted to me, but he understands that I want to focus on starting a family with you.”
I tried not to gag. “Oh good, so you’ll be around more?” In the past, he’d used to loathe when he brought the subject of children up and I’d look like I was going to throw up. I made a point of not doing so now. He noticed.
“I’ll be around. Of course.”
I smiled briefly. “Are these duties you’re doing… dangerous?” I needed to know where he was going.
“I won’t lie. Yes. King Varis is on the verge of death. I imagine he’ll pass any day now. The kingdom is in a state of unrest because people don’t know what’s going to happen. They hate change. My job is to keep people who defy the crown in line.”
He meant kill them. Eradicate the problem by the process of elimination, so they’d never defy the crown again.
“Where do you go? Is it just the town?”
“Mostly, but the neighboring villages, and I patrol the woods.”
I’d have to get off the property to keep a better track on him. That might not be completely impossible, but it was hard when there were people here keeping an eye on me. At least I had some idea of what he did during the days.
“Please be safe.”
“I will,” he promised.
A long moment of silence settled again. He broke it by clearing his throat.
“I hear closing your eyes helps if you’re trying to sleep,” he teased.
I laughed easily. “Sorry. I was just thinking.”
“What were you thinking?”
“About us.” I pulled in a slow breath. “I think you must be truly fond of me to have stood by me all these years.” That’s something I would definitely say.
Surprise widened his eyes, and he gazed down at me, lost for words. “I’m more than fond of you,” he confessed. “But I think you know that.”
“I don’t remember. It’s so awful to forget something like that.” The weight of experience settled in every word. “To see you looking at me like that and have no context about why.”
He nodded slowly. “I understand. I… would move the heavens if I could fix you and make you love me again.”
He meant that, and I realized I’d been right.
The enemy probably did promise him me. They didn’t know about my curse and he didn’t know the connection between the ring and the curse.
He just knew it had something to do with my father.
Perhaps he hoped they’d break my curse and make me love him once they were finished with me.
I wondered how they’d do it. I’d been within their sight for two days, but they hadn’t struck. It was the same as last month after the reset. They didn’t strike then, either.
They just moved things around to get me to the mortal lands then nothing more.
I offered Thayden a small smile. I wouldn’t figure it out tonight. “I appreciate you, and I wish that, too.” The lie left a bitter taste in my mouth. It hit its mark, though. His expression softened.
To add more weight to the connection we were forming, I reached my hand out to him. He took it and held it against the bedsheet.
"Tell me about us. Grandmother said we’re madly in love. We must have a lot of stories.”
The liar nodded. "Tons."
"Tell me your favorite."
A faint chuckle escaped him. “There was this one time when I took you riding by the sea in Southvalee. We spent the day there. It was summertime, and it was hot and beautiful. You were beautiful. When we took a break, you lay amongst a sea of daises, gazing up at the sky. I looked at you and knew it had to be you. You had to be my wife one day. I would have asked you even if your mother didn’t arrange our marriage. ”
Great story. But none of that ever happened. I’d never been riding with Thayden. Never been to the sea with him, either.
He made that all up.
I beamed at him. “That’s beautiful.”
“Get some sleep, love.” He squeezed my hand.
I smiled and closed my eyes. Slowly, carefully, I relaxed my body, slowing my breathing until it looked like I was asleep.
Mages with elemental air magic could slow their breathing right down to the point where you could be fooled into thinking they weren’t breathing at all.
At least I’d mastered that.
The room fell quiet. Minutes passed. Then the chair scraped softly against the floor.
Thayden stood, and a warm pressure touched my forehead.
A gentle, almost reverent kiss from his lying lips.
"All in good time, Elariya," he whispered, his hot breath fanning over my skin. "All in good time, my love."
He moved back and his footsteps retreated.
Seconds later, the bedroom door opened and closed shut.
The comfort of silence settled once more, but I waited until I was certain he was gone before opening my eyes.
Moonlight spilled across the ceiling.
A slow smile tugged at my lips. "Yes, Thayden," I whispered into the soft light. "All in good time."
All in good time.