Chapter 19 #5
“Oh, I can easily kill Leslo for you if that’s what you want, my darling. But I can never be mad at him for bringing you to me.”
She sighed heavily, not rushing to accept my generous offer of the brack’s murder.
“What are we going to do after you get your silk?” she asked instead.
“We’ll go back home,” I said more cheerfully than I felt.
The home was now in ruins. My ancestral palace, where hundreds of generations of Olathana’s monarchs lived, ruled, and died, was no longer there. Jahanam might’ve been the one who crashed it, but I had made it possible for him. I’d broken the crown. I’d weakened the wards.
Despite my mother’s best efforts, my birth prophecy had been fulfilled completely.
Whether or not I believed in it didn’t matter anymore.
It had all come true. I broke the crown.
The ancient ruling bloodline was ending with me.
And last night, I quite literally razed the royal palace to the ground too.
Now I should probably wallow in self-loathing, crushed under another mountain of guilt.
But I had Maren. I was responsible for her life and wellbeing.
And I didn’t just want to keep her alive and well.
I wanted her to be happy, too, which gave me a purpose.
My life gained a new meaning. My future no longer seemed pointless or bleak.
“We’ll build a new palace,” I said to my little savior.
“One that isn’t made of glass. Once I have the silk, I won’t be turning everything I touch to glass anymore.
Odine will have to come to Lyrei with us.
Our combined magic should be enough to ward our new home properly.
We can have a more ordinary life, my dear.
Who would’ve thought that the arrogant, spoiled, cursed King of Olathana would look forward to having an ordinary life? ” I laughed.
“How about Arnon and Dorelea?” she worried. “What are you planning to do with them?”
Execute them, most likely.
I might be able to forgive their personal betrayal had they not put Maren’s life in danger. After what they did to her, there was no forgiveness left in my heart.
They will have to be executed for treason. As much as I disliked the idea, Lord Tal had to be executed as well. Sparing their son’s life would only complicate things in the future by leaving the doors open to revenge and all that.
But I wasn’t going to tell Maren that. There was no need to upset her, not now anyway. I had a feeling that despite everything my only surviving family had done to her, my gentle butterfly would be upset to hear about their imminent deaths.
“I’ll deal with them,” I replied vaguely. “Whatever happens, you’ll be safe, Maren. I’ll keep you safe from now on.”
She said nothing, and I feared her faith in my words might’ve been shattered after everything that had transpired last night.
How could it not?
I sent her to Arnon’s. I promised her it was for her own safety. She trusted me. And then she nearly died a devious, unnatural death. I gritted my teeth. But all the rage in the world wasn’t going to right the wrongs perpetrated against this woman.
I’d kill and die to make her happy. Only I didn’t think that either killing or dying would bring her happiness.
She leaned her cheek on the pillow, but her eyes remained open. She stared down at the floor, looking lost in thought.
Her silence bothered me. I would far prefer her yelling at me. Fuck, I would even take tears over that ominous calm. For once in my life, it wasn’t the tears that disturbed me but the absence of them.
“Darling?” I prodded carefully.
“Someone is walking in the cabin under ours,” she stated in a dull, flat voice.
Like the rest of the ship, the floor was glass and perfectly see-through. Two men brought in a large trunk and placed it by the wall in the cargo hold below. I sat with my bare ass on the floor and my cock resting on the glass ever so aesthetically.
“Well, let’s hope they don’t look up or they'll get an eyeful,” I quipped.
She threw a hand over her mouth, but her laughter burst out between her fingers, nevertheless. At least by some divine miracle, I still retained the ability to make her laugh.
Sadly, her laughter waned quickly. The men below had long left, and she was still staring at the floor, her gaze unseeing.
“You need to rest, sweetheart,” I cooed, soothingly. “Why don’t I sing you to sleep? We still have a few hours—”
“Let me go, Kye,” she said unexpectedly.
Her words came like a blow to my chest, depriving me of air and instantly shutting me up.
She sat up in bed, fixing her gaze on me.
“Go where?” I finally found the words to ask, praying for an easy, acceptable explanation. Maybe she just wanted to get some fresh air? Or needed to use the bathroom again?
“I want to go back home. Please. Back to my world.”
Fuuuck...
I leaned back against the wall. Breath left me. Dread filled me instead.
“Do you really want to leave me?” I refused to comprehend her request.
“I don’t belong in this world,” she said in a voice so small, it made me want to cuddle her to my chest and never let go.
“But Maren...” I crawled closer to her, as close as I dared. “You belong with me. I need you.”
She was just frightened, I told myself. She didn’t mean it. She had a terrible night. She was tired, exhausted really. Things often looked their worst when we were tired and scared. I knew that better than anyone.
“I’m not your property, Kye,” she retorted with a fiery flash in her eyes.
“Not some comfort creature delivered to your door for entertainment. I had a life, a future, and a purpose back home. I was snatched away from it all against my will. I can’t spend the rest of my life afraid of powers I don’t understand, caught in a deadly game I don’t want to be a part of, played by the rules I don’t know. ”
“I give you my word, my formal promise that your safety—”
But she wouldn’t let me finish. “Tying yourself with a promise that puts your life in danger is not going to solve anything. I can’t be your pet, even a pampered one.
Don’t you understand? I can never be happy in a cage, no matter how pretty you promise to make that cage for me. Please, just let me go.”
The idea of parting from her terrified me more than any god or monster ever could. I was ready to fight anyone for Maren. What I was not prepared for was fighting Maren herself.
“No,” I snapped, sitting straighter and rolling my shoulders back defensively.
“You can’t leave. I won’t let you. You can’t go back, remember?
There is no way to predict where the River of Mists would take you.
What if you end up landing way in the past or far into the future?
When anyone you knew is either not born yet or has long died already.
You’d have no friends, no family to help you. ”
“I’m stronger than you think. I can make it on my own. Or I can at least try.”
She was stubborn, I had figured that out about her on the first day we met. Maybe she was even willful enough to succeed in the impossible. But “maybe” wasn’t good enough for me.
“What if you don’t make it? What if you suffer and die? And I would never know what happened to you?”
She drew in a shuddering breath, running a hand down her face.
“Whatever suffering I may encounter back home, at no point in our history did humans have to deal with what I went through last night, Kye. I hate how weak, lost, and helpless I feel. I’m not myself here. I can never be what I want to be in this place.”
I felt her slipping away from me, like the tiny shards of the shattered glass butterfly trickling between my fingers, and I couldn’t grasp them or put them back together again. It was as if I’d already lost her, and I couldn’t bring her back.
“But I’m in love with you,” I blurted out in desperation.
That was a low blow. Selfish and unfair. The timing was all wrong. It made me look like I was trying to manipulate her feelings. And maybe I was. I’d try anything—everything—to make her stay.
I realized the problem was that I didn’t just want to keep Maren at my side. I wanted her to be happy about it. I needed her to crave my company as much as I craved hers. I wanted her to want me. To adore me. To love me back.
Of course, she knew me well enough by now to parry my selfish confession with an equally brutal answer.
“Kye, let’s be honest here. You fall in and out of love more frequently than people change their bedsheets.
” She smiled to soften the blow. “There will be someone else soon enough. Let’s face it, if Leslo dragged in any other woman here instead of me, you’d be just as much in love with her now as you think you are in love with me. ”
“Only if she was everything you are,” I muttered stubbornly.
I’d never had to deal with rejection before, and I had no idea how to handle it now. Do I beg her to reconsider like a love-sick puppy? Or should I put my foot down and order her to accept me like the fucking king I was?
Neither of these options seemed particularly good or even real. I couldn’t beg or force her into emotions she didn’t feel.
She sat in silence, absentmindedly spinning the diamond ring around the finger on her left hand.
I suspected her fiancé gave her that ring.
She hadn’t spoken about him for some time now, and I’d been hoping he was safely out of her mind already.
She didn’t mention him now either, but I worried about what might be going on in her head.
All I could do was buy us some time in hopes that she’d come back to her senses soon.