Chapter 19 Elsie
Elsie
I’d spent far too much energy avoiding Lukas, and I felt terrible about it. Not only did he take me home and send me comfort food because he believed I was sick, but he was also respectful enough to stop messaging me after I gave him such a brief reply.
It wasn’t his fault. And I hated to think he might believe it was his fault.
But nearly being caught in the restaurant by my father was too close a call. And to leave only for my father to find out anyway that I had indeed been seeing Lukas Bristol was enough for me. I needed to keep my distance, because in the end, it would hurt Lukas and me both if we continued.
Because I already liked him too much. Already cared about his opinions and loved watching him talk about something he was interested in. Loved how he listened to me so raptly anytime I spoke. Enjoyed his humor and easy, fun spirit.
Yet the second he discovered who my father was, it would all be over. I was protecting us both from the pain by leaving this now.
Today, however, I couldn’t avoid him.
No, today, I couldn’t miss Henri’s call to the witness stand. I had to be there to listen to everything she had to say. To support the person who had saved us all from the love potion attacks.
Before I’d gotten entangled with Lukas, I had never spoken to Henri before.
We’d crossed paths a few times, but I doubt she even knew who I was.
Yet once she uncovered the truth behind the potion attacks and revealed the antidote she and Noah Lawrence had created together, everyone knew her name. And I felt personally indebted to her.
Since then, I’d interacted with her a few times to discover she was exactly who I thought she was—a kind, brilliant witch who deeply cared for others. And of course, her studies.
Therefore, I marched into the courtroom, and instead of hiding in the back as usual, I picked a seat in the middle of the spectators’ rows so that I could show Henri my support.
I decided I didn’t care what my father thought of me being there, because I deserved to do this.
I deserved to show that I took a stand against Aster, despite who my father was.
As more and more people filed into the courtroom, I realized there might not be enough seating. Many people wanted to view today’s proceedings, to hear what Henri Baker had to say against Aster. Understandably so.
As the clock neared the time to begin, I looked around to see that there were no available seats in the gallery and that ushers were leading incomers to different rooms to view the video feed. I smiled, knowing that my father would be furious about this.
Good.
The defense and prosecution filed into the front of the courtroom that was blocked off from the public gallery, and I looked away quickly when my eyes met Lukas’s gaze.
I waited through the beginning of the proceedings, eyes wandering the room. In the front row of the gallery, just behind the prosecution, sat Noah Lawrence, whose back was ramrod straight as he stared ahead. Terrifying guy, really. I’d always thought so, and even still found him quite intimidating.
Noah stiffened further, and I looked to the side door that opened as an usher walked through, Henri close behind him. The room was utterly silent.
“The next witness is Henrietta Baker.”
Henri, with her chin held high and an air of confidence, walked toward the witness stand, where she would swear in and then be questioned. My stomach turned in anticipation of what her answers would uncover.
But that feeling quickly turned to fear.
Henri stumbled for a moment, her perfect posture lost as she lifted a hand to her head, blinking rapidly.
She took one more unsteady step toward the witness stand, but her legs buckled and she collapsed.
A loud thump could be heard over the silence as she hit her head on the wooden molding of the stand.
Her limp body rolled just a bit, showing the beginning of blood trickling down her temple.
The silence was shattered, and chaos erupted. The public began shouting, hurling accusations and questions. I stood, jostled by the people in my row already rushing out of the aisle.
Noah had jumped over the barricade to get to Henri, but was being held back by enforcers while the usher who walked Henri in crouched at her side. Noah was shouting profanities at everyone, and Lukas was there, trying to calm him down.
Around me, everyone either rushed to the barricade or ran to the door.
There was no decorum left. Especially once my father and Aster stood calmly, faces blank, and walked out their side door, with enforcers closing the door behind them and the rest of the defense leaving.
Spectators were screeching and yelling and clambering to get over the bannister, but more enforcers were pouring in, holding back those who wished to jump the barrier.
I had to get out of here.
I tried to push through the crowd but was met with shoving hands, forceful bodies, and no space for me to squeeze through.
“Excuse me,” I cried out, trying to wiggle between two men who were shouting at the enforcers to bring Aster back. My breaths were fast and laboured, as if there were cotton in my lungs. I tried to force myself to calm down as I attempted to leave, but I couldn’t.
The shouts around me became only noise, and my vision started dimming around the edges. Everything turned hazy, and my ears rang. A panic attack was already beginning, and there would be nothing I could do about it while I was in the crowd.
It was a too-familiar feeling—the need to get out. The desperation to get away, yet held there by the crowd of people lost in the chaos.
“Elsie!” I heard my name called, but didn’t want to risk looking back. I needed to get out of here. The same voice shouted, “Move!”
I wasn’t sure I was even making steps toward the exit anymore, or if I was just being jostled. The more my vision darkened, the less I understood my placement.
“Elsie,” repeated the voice, this time with a light touch on my elbow. Sluggishly, my eyes moved to my left, where Lukas stood. “Come on.”
I could only nod as he took my elbow and pulled me behind him. I left no space between the two of us, hoping that this would get me out of here.
My throat was tight, and I squeezed my eyes shut, relying on Lukas to direct me out.
In. Out. In. Out. I forced myself to focus on breathing, knowing what would happen if I didn’t.
“Out of the way!”
In. Out. In. Out.
Now, the only sound I could distinguish was my own ragged breaths that were nearly stuck in my throat. There were so many bodies still bumping and jostling me, making it harder to focus on breathing.
Lukas pulled me faster, and the air seemed cooler.
“You’re okay. You’re out.”
With eyes still closed, I grounded myself slowly. There were no unwanted touches anymore—Lukas had even dropped my arm. The sound was quieter, though I could still distantly hear the chaos in the courtroom. A faint smell of cleaner replaced the smell of too many bodies in one space.
“Sorry, I need to calm down,” I rasped out, my breathing still too fast.
“Do you need to get out of the building altogether? Tell me what you need, Elsie.”
I took a few more deep breaths before opening my eyes, realizing that tears were pouring down my cheeks. Quickly, I reached up to wipe them away, feeling the wetness.
“I’m okay.” I nodded, seeing the worry in his eyes. “I’m okay,” I repeated, more to myself than to Lukas.
Standing straighter, I looked around to see that he had gotten us out of the courtroom and well away from the exit or the main entrance of the building, where people were slowly filing out. Enforcers were escorting many spectators out, ensuring they made it to the exit.
“You got me out,” I whispered, overwhelming gratitude taking over.
New tears formed as I wondered how long I would have been stuck in the throng of people if Lukas hadn’t strong-armed his way out.
If he hadn’t come to save me. And as soon as he got me out of that mess, he stopped touching me and gave me space to relax.
“Hey,” he said, stepping closer and ducking to meet my eyes, which were blurry with tears. “You’re okay now.”
I nodded, feeling ridiculous as the tears continued to stream. “Thank you.” My voice broke into a sob. I was overwhelmed by it all, and I just needed…
I closed the distance between us to wrap my arms around Lukas’s waist, needing the contact from someone who felt safe.
He wasted no time encircling his arms around me, pulling me tight against him.
My face rested against his chest, and I let out a sob that I desperately wished to hold back.
But I couldn’t. The wave of emotion had taken over and I was subject to its will.
“You’re okay,” Lukas said, and he kept repeating those words over me, rubbing light circles on my back and pressing long kisses to the top of my head.
It worked to soothe the burning panic that still lingered, while securing the safety he made me feel.
I nodded against his chest, assuring him and myself that I was fine.
There was no one cornering me or crowding me anymore.
“Do you want to leave?” he whispered.
I nodded, taking a step back and reluctantly pulling my arms away from him. Vulnerability crept in once I wasn’t in contact with him anymore, as if someone could snatch me away in an instant.
Wiping tears from my face, I asked, “Is Henri okay?”
Lukas ran a hand through his dark hair, looking away from me for only a second. “I don’t know. They put her on a stretcher and were taking her out of the courtroom when I found you.”
I couldn’t imagine how something like that could have even happened. Did Henri have a history of fainting? She didn’t strike me as the nervous type, so I didn’t find it probable that nerves caused it. And the wound on her head…
“I’ll call Noah as soon as we get you to the car.”
Taking a deep breath, I took Lukas’s outstretched hand and walked out of the building with him. A blaring siren joined the cacophony of people leaving and gossiping around the courthouse. My gut twisted to think about Henri.
The whole way to Lukas’s car, I wondered if my father would see us. In a way, I hoped he would. If it weren’t for Lukas, I might not have made it out of the courtroom. I could have collapsed from the panic attack that would have taken over and rendered me helpless in the middle of a crowd.
Lukas, whom I’d been avoiding because of who my father was. Who didn’t deserve the way I’d treated him, especially when it was so sudden. Who I had started to fall for against all reasoning.
I had to tell him who my father was.
As Lukas opened my door, I scanned the parking lot, not seeing my father or any of his colleagues. His car was still in the lot. What would he do now that today’s hearing ended so violently and suddenly? Would he go home? I surely didn’t want to be around him.
The lot was plenty full of other individuals leaving, so after Lukas got in the driver’s seat, he turned the car on and just waited.
“Do you want me to take you home?”
He barely got his question out before I responded, “No!”
Lukas nodded quickly, reaching over to grab the hand I was clenching and unclenching in my lap. I squeezed his hand a bit too hard, probably.
“Where do you want to go? I’ll take you anywhere.” His face held such sincerity and worry. I bit my lip, trying to think of anywhere I would feel safe that he could take me.
But was there anywhere?
I didn’t want to go anywhere public—any size of crowd at this point would be too much for me. My breathing was evening out, which I was thankful for, but just the thought of going home was threatening the state of my lungs.
My thoughts were jumbled as I tried to determine where Lukas could take me that would feel safe.
“I-I don’t know,” I whispered, my eyes watching the people who moved about the lot. But I wasn’t really looking at them—my mind was far, far away, lost in memories of fear.
Soft fingers caressed my hair, pulling my attention back to the present. I glanced over at Lukas, who still wore a look of great concern. His thumb gently brushed over my cheek, wiping more tears away. They were a steady stream that I had no power to control.
“I don’t know where to go.” I took a deep breath, calming myself before talking. “Nowhere public, and not my house.”
“I can take you to my flat if you’re comfortable with that? I live alone, so there won’t be anyone else there.” His touches grew even lighter with his offer, as if he were afraid that I would crumble just at the thought.
But it was the best idea. Because no one would be there to watch me try to gather myself.
As I nodded, Lukas added, “I can drop you off if you would feel safer there by yourself.”
I was already shaking my head. Biting my lip, I tried to determine how to word my thoughts. “I don’t…think I want to be completely alone…if that’s okay?”
Lukas ran his hand over my hair again, leaning across the space between us to place another kiss on my forehead. Then, he righted himself in his seat and pulled out of the lot.