Chapter 22
Elsie
My stomach rolled over itself as Lukas pulled his car up to my house.
I knew with certainty that my father wouldn’t be home until late tonight, because even before the chaos of today, he’d made plans to eat dinner with colleagues in Anthrod.
The city was a forty-minute drive away, in a high-wealth area, and he would surely be there drinking through the night.
That was my only comfort I felt right now.
Remy had vocalized a suspicion I was too scared to allow myself to consider: that my dad was somehow involved with what happened to Henri and the other two witnesses who had gotten sick.
I didn’t know what Father’s intentions would be in doing something like that, or why he’d want to delay the case. But it made a horrible kind of sense that it was his doing.
Hope was a nasty thing, and I clung to it anyway. I clenched it in my fist, praying my father wasn’t involved at all.
Lukas helped me out of the car. He’d refused to let my hand go for the entire ride, and the closer we got to home, the tighter I held him back. I led him up the path to my front door, unlocked it, and pushed it open carefully.
No lights were on, and I listened carefully for any signs that my father was here. I knew he wasn’t, but my fear made me paranoid.
“The library is right through here.” I pulled Lukas along, but he stopped me.
“Eat first, Elsie. You’ve barely had anything today.” He held up the bag of takeout we’d picked up on the way here. I’d already completely forgotten about it in my nervousness.
I led him to the kitchen, where we sat down at the eat-in table.
Lukas pulled out the sandwiches and crisps and passed me the ones I’d ordered.
I ate, my mind elsewhere. Lukas seemed to be in the same frame of mind, so we spent the meal in silence.
Once we were both finished, I took the trash to the bin.
Now I felt uncomfortable, but Lukas seemed to understand. He stood, waiting for me to lead the way to the library. I grabbed his hand and led him down the hallway.
As soon as we were in the large room, Lukas drew in a long inhale. “This is huge,” he commented in amazement.
I laughed uncomfortably. “Yeah, it’s a bit ridiculous. But I’m not one to get rid of any book.”
Lukas stepped further into the room to examine all it offered.
There were custom-built floor-to-ceiling shelves that covered every wall, except where the windows were.
Rolling ladders were hooked to bars at the top of each shelf, allowing access to the higher rows.
At each window, benches connected neighboring shelves, creating perfect seating areas.
The room had dark leather couches with coffee tables, and old medallion rugs covering parts of the wooden floor.
And there wasn’t a single open space on any of the shelves. In fact, there were tomes stacked on the floor in front of shelves, waiting for me to find homes for them once I reorganized parts of the room and made more space.
“You said a lot of these are your mother’s?” Lukas turned to me, a smile written on his face.
“Well, it was. She was the one who taught me to love literature.” I walked up to the nearest shelf, brushing my fingers over the books fondly.
“She collected books throughout her entire life. In our house, we didn’t have anywhere near this kind of space, so they became part of the home décor.
Some stacks we used as side tables; some stayed on the coffee and dining tables.
There were always books scattered throughout every room of the house.
” I smiled at the books, remembering a night with my mom when we’d stayed up all night reading on the couch together, laughing as we exchanged information.
Lukas didn’t speak for a while, allowing me to reminisce. “And your mom…is she—”
I wasn’t going to let him finish the question. “She died seven years ago, unfortunately. She was really sick. It came on quick, and within a few months she was gone.”
“Elsie, I’m so sorry.” Lukas was behind me, hands on my shoulders.
I nodded and shrugged as I turned to him.
His brows were pulled together, and those blue eyes held a new softness I hadn’t seen before.
“She gave me the best years of my life. It’s unfortunate that she had to leave me with my father.
Before she died, I didn’t really have much of a relationship with him. Holidays and birthdays only.”
I moved away before we could continue the conversation. Desperately, I needed to tell him who my father was, but my emotions were too high, and this was too urgent. We needed to get to work, not keep talking about my family history.
“If we have anything that could help us, it will be in this section. I organized all of this myself when I moved in here. Father had it built so I could keep all of Mom’s books, and I’ve added quite a lot to the collection.
” He followed me across the room to the section I secretly titled Banned and Forgotten.
Most everything on this shelf was rare and old, yet I hadn’t studied most of them.
Yet. They had served more as trophies for my shelves thus far.
Some books were my mother’s, and some were what I’d found in deep corners of secondhand shops.
“Impressive,” Lukas muttered as his eyes scanned the shelf. His features were still softened, but I was thankful he allowed the subject change.
“Honestly, I’m not familiar with most of them. So I don’t exactly know where to start.”
Lukas turned his gaze to me. I pushed away the desire to guard myself against him and took a step closer as he spoke.
“We’ll just have to look at them all, then.
” He reached an arm out and wrapped it around my shoulders, pulling me into him.
Slowly, I looped my arms around his back, leaning into the hug as he pressed a kiss to my forehead.
I loved how much he did that. “Thank you for helping.”
“Of course,” I whispered back.
When we broke apart, we silently got to work. Both of us started at different spots on the shelf. I pulled a rolling ladder to the left of the section and climbed to the top, reading over the titles on the highest shelf. Lukas sat on the floor, pulling books from the bottom.
In the silence, we fell into a routine. When we found anything that seemed worth reading, we stacked it on the closest table that sat in front of a dark grey loveseat.
I couldn’t help but watch Lukas, though I tried to be discreet.
He was so invested in his search, meticulously looking through the books to find anything that could help Henri.
Help the other witnesses. Help us. He cared deeply about this case and his friends, and his determination was inspiring.
More than that, I thought back to all the ways he’d been determined with me, yet not pushy.
And I couldn’t help the swell of emotion in my chest.
I found it very difficult to look away from him when his hair fell into his face and he didn’t push it back. It made me want to jump down and confess my feelings.
But I didn’t.
Instead, I climbed down the ladder and moved across the room to the ancient gramophone my mother used to play vinyl on. I picked out a record and set it in place for the music to start. We’d spent long enough in silence, and it had given me too much time to think.
As I walked back to the Banned and Forgotten section, Lukas stood up, navigating around the stacks of books he’d set around himself. His eyes were set on me with intention, and my steps faltered.
“I think it’s time for us to take a break,” I suggested. There was a smirk on his face that had my insides fluttering as he closed the remaining distance between us. We stood in one of the clearest spaces in the room. “Dance with me.”
My cheeks were immediately hot as I automatically took a step back. His eyes flickered before he caught my hand and pulled me back to him.
With a deep breath, I stepped further into him and rested my free hand on his shoulder as his other hand came to rest on my waist. The music floating from the gramophone was lilting and romantic. Lukas led me in a slow, swirling dance there in the middle of the library.
Neither of us spoke, and there was a very different tension between us than there had ever been before.
Everywhere our bodies touched was on fire, and I wanted more from him.
More contact, more words, more time. I finally accepted that I was going to be with him regardless of whatever rules my father imposed upon me.
This man was so intentional and careful with me.
He was persistent, even when I didn’t deserve it.
When I looked into his crystal-blue eyes, affection that matched my own shone back at me. Something purely magical hung in the air between us, making my heart pound in a new rhythm. He was so much taller than me, and I wanted to reach up and pull him down to—
Lukas bent to meet me halfway, our lips brushing.
It was soft and questioning at first, as if he were making sure I was okay with this—because of course he was.
When I responded with assured fervor, he leaned into the kiss even more, moving his lips in a gentle yet commanding way.
All the waiting, the wondering, the wishing melted away as both of his arms pulled me tighter, our bodies flush against each other.
One hand moved to cup my face, his thumb brushing just beside my mouth where his lips continued to pour out affection.
For one spectacular, beautiful moment, it was just us in the world. No court case, no love potion, no one to tell us no.
Yet as quickly as the moment was built, it shattered.
The door to the library opened, and I tried to jump away. Lukas, of course, had no reason to understand why this was more than just a moment of bashfulness, so he held onto me.
I didn’t even hear what my father said as his eyes landed on Lukas, but I saw the realization strike him square in the chest.
He stepped away from me like I’d burned him, and something I could only describe as fury took over his features as he looked at my father, who was yelling in the doorway.
My hands shook as I took another step back from Lukas, who still refused to look at me.
His attention was solely on my father. But Father’s attention was on me as he shouted.
I caught words about how stupid I was, how irresponsible, reckless, and disobedient.
And when Father took steps closer to me, Lukas rounded the room to get nearer to the door. But he didn’t leave.
In fact, when my father got within arm’s length of me, Lukas hesitated and took a step back toward us. His eyes were still filled with betrayal, but now there was worry as he glanced between me and my father.
“Just go,” I whispered weakly when Lukas finally looked at me. Hesitantly, he stepped closer to the door. I nodded at him, and he left.
My hearing seemed to fully return once Lukas was gone, though I wished it hadn’t.
“I don’t know what I ever did to deserve such an ungrateful, disobedient daughter! I told you multiple times to cut ties with that boy and stay away from him, and yet you intentionally went against my command!”
He continued, and I just listened, keeping my mouth shut, allowing tears to flow down my face. Because I would only ever know the briefest taste of Lukas. I’d lost him for good.