Chapter 12
MADDOX
Quitting time, at last. What a shit day. I wasn’t sure I’d ever been a bigger fuckup at work than I had just been. I was normally the shark of the office, but today I had missed one great trade after another.
Fucking Ryder swept in and scooped up what should have been my wins. Ryder! The guy couldn’t read a balance sheet to save his life, but today he was the one crushing it while I sat there with my thumb up my ass.
But honestly, how could it be anything other than that? Was it any wonder I couldn’t focus on work, given my situation? All I could think about was the doctor’s appointment I had made for tomorrow. My last chance at finding a way out of what Callie had done to me.
I still struggled to understand how she could have found it within herself to do something this severe.
I mean, fine, I understood now that the cheating had been wrong.
But people make mistakes! When you’re married, you’re supposed to talk it out and work through it together!
Why hadn’t she just confronted me, told me how much I’d hurt her, and given me a chance to apologize?
She hadn’t given me any opportunity to make it right.
Instead, she went straight to permanent, irreversible dick curse. How was that fair?
Her punishment was not proportionate to the crime! I deserved some punishment, but not a life sentence!
And there was no one to take my appeal to. Callie had been my judge, jury, and executioner. Her sentence trapped me forever. Why not just put me in a permanent coma? At least then I wouldn’t be aware of what I’d lost.
Duke interrupted my self-pitying reverie. “Fuck man, you look like hell.”
I hadn’t even noticed Duke had entered my office. I’d totally zoned out at my desk, and he’d found me staring blankly into the middle distance, my despair naked on my face.
Not for the first time, the overwhelming terror that one of my buddies might learn of the curse surged through my body.
If Duke or Ryder or any of the guys discovered what had happened, I’d never live another moment where I wasn’t the butt of every joke.
None of them would allow me to live it down.
They’d broadcast my shame to everyone we worked with.
The entire financial industry would love gossiping about my ruined member.
I’d have to quit my job, delete my entire online presence, leave town, and live off the grid for the rest of my life.
I couldn’t face the world if the world knew I couldn’t fuck.
So, I better get a convincing mask on before anyone figured it out.
“It’s nothing. I’m fine,” I insisted.
Duke’s raised eyebrows told me I needed to provide an actual excuse.
“I’m still hungover from last night. I had a fucking wild night, man!” I hoped this claim sounded more believable than it felt.
“Oh, Gwen again?” Duke asked knowingly.
His assumption that I was getting laid with my perfect mistress hit me like a two-by-four to the head, and painfully twisted my expression. I had no idea how to respond to that.
Fortunately, the pressure was taken off when Ryder also appeared at my office door. The three of us had been brought on at the same time a few years ago. We were great friends, and/or bitter rivals, depending on when you caught us.
“Mad Dog, you clearly need a pick me up. Come on, we’re going to Tit For Tat,” Ryder announced.
Oh god no. Tit For Tat! Our regular after-work strip club hangout. Put me in a literal torture chamber, but don’t make me go there, not in this state. I was used to spending all my time there with a raging hard-on, and then carrying that energy to the bars to find a lucky lady to hook up with.
I stood up and started hastily gathering my stuff, trying to affect nonchalance and failing badly. “Rain check, boys, I’m just not feeling it tonight—”
At that, Ryder grabbed one of my arms, and Duke grabbed the other.
“We’re not taking no for an answer, Mad Dog,” Duke demanded.
“You’ve been in a mood all week. You need this,” Ryder said.
I pulled against them, and they tightened their grip.
“We’ll drag you there.”
“You know we’ll do it.”
True to their word, they started dragging me toward the door, and I realized further resistance was hopeless.
There was no way to get out of this entirely.
I’d never passed on Tit For Tat before. They already knew something was up, so it would be way too suspicious if I didn’t go at all.
I had to maintain some semblance of normalcy.
I could go along for a bit, and then make a break for it once they’d settled in with some dancers.
A trip to the strip club couldn’t be that much more punishing than what I was already enduring, could it?
* * *
This was hell on earth.
I huddled miserably in my chair at Tit For Tat. We were in a corner, and Ryder and Duke had blocked me in. There was no getting out of here unless I climbed over the stage or climbed over them.
Which was not possible, because they were both getting lap dances.
And not from just any strippers, but from Candy and Monica. My two favorites!
When I thought of how many fun nights I’d had with those two grinding away on me, as I tucked one $20 after another into their G-strings, I felt dangerously close to freaking out.
On stage in front of me was a new dancer, one I hadn’t met before. As she gyrated against the pole, her focus never left me.
I had to get her to move on. I tossed a single dollar bill at her feet. Keep the amount contemptibly small, and she’d mark me as an unprofitable cheapskate and move on to better financial prospects.
I deliberately turned away from her and fixed my attention on a blank spot on the wall. Maybe that wasn’t enough to suggest “stay away”? I forced out some fake coughs. Hopefully, she’d be worried about getting sick and keep her distance.
If Duke and Ryder weren’t both so focused on the gorgeous breasts being bounced in their faces right now, they would wonder what the hell was going on with me. Fortunately, Candy and Monica’s skilled moves consumed their attention completely.
Suddenly, before I’d seen her coming, the new girl had slid right off the stage and onto my lap.
“Hey baby, I’m Destiny. What’s your name?” she whispered in my ear as she began her lap dance.
I squirmed around in the seat, trying to slide her toned ass further down my leg and off my humiliatingly limp dick.
“The quiet type, eh?” she purred.
My only response was a nondescript “hmm.”
“You look like you’re having a rough night, sweetie.
Just relax and let Destiny make you feel better.
” Still straddling me, she pulled my face into her cleavage and slid right back onto my crotch.
Damn, this was a gifted stripper. Her lap dance technique was exceptional.
In the old days, she would have instantly become my new favorite.
But the old days were over and gone. I had to stop this lap dance somehow, and quick. My lack of excitement was going to become very obvious very fast, and I had no clue how Destiny would react to that.
I tried to slide back a little to get her off my dick again, which just inspired her to clutch me more tightly.
Duke and Ryder were glancing over at me. My squirming was growing so disruptive it had even become noticeable through the ministrations of Candy and Monica.
I despairingly accepted that there was nothing to do but let this happen, as Destiny continued to grind away, her hands and breasts and bare skin rubbing all over me.
Until she suddenly slumped in defeat, sinking down on my lap and becoming still.
“You’re gay, aren’t you?” she groaned in frustration.
Of course, Duke, Ryder, Candy, and Monica all heard that. The four of them stopped mid-grind, all their heads turning toward me in perfect unison.
“Why are you asking if he’s gay?” Duke asked.
“Yeah, what’s going on over there?” Ryder added.
Before I could answer, Destiny did it for me. “It’s what’s not going on,” she said as she pointed to my lap. “So you’re not gay?”
I didn’t know what else to do but shake my head no.
She shot to her feet. “Then I’ve never been so offended! I have three years experience as a dancer! In my entire career, this is the first lap dance I’ve ever given where the customer did not get hard!”
I wondered what was bigger right now: the mortification on my face, or the shock on Duke and Ryder’s. My face flushed so intensely I felt like I was on fire. Every pore on my body was sweating, the wetness pouring down my back.
I needed a cover story now. And only one possibility came to mind.
“I can’t get into this tonight because Callie found out I’m cheating on her and she’s going to leave me and that’s all I can think about.” The words rushed out in a panic.
As often as our relationship was just being asshole rivals to each other, Duke and Ryder picked this terrible moment to be supportive.
But at least they seemed to accept the lie that my situation was only temporary stress caused by marital troubles.
They paid Candy and Monica for the dances as they dismissed them. The women walked off with an angry Destiny, trying to calm her down as they all vanished into the shadows of Tit For Tat.
“What do you mean, Callie found out?” asked Duke.
“She saw a text from Gwen,” I answered. Lies were always more believable with some truth mixed in.
Duke looked baffled. “So… wait… Callie didn’t already know about Gwen?”
“What? Fuck no, why would I have told her about Gwen?” I replied.
Duke and Ryder were looking increasingly confused, and maybe a little… grossed out?
“So you’ve been… cheating on her?” Ryder asked tentatively.
What was this bullshit? “What the fuck are you guys talking about? All we do is pick up women together. Duke, you cheat on Christine all the time. Ryder, I’ve never seen you stay faithful to any of your girlfriends.”
They both jumped to their feet.
“How dare you!” Duke yelled. “Christine and I have an open marriage! I told her about every one of those hookups! She gets more action than I do!”
Ryder was similarly furious. “And I tell every girl that I’m not ready to be exclusive with anyone yet, and if that’s what she needs, I’m not her guy! I tell them that before the first date!”
My mind was blown. Instead of standing to meet their energy, I shrank into the seat cushion. “I thought… I always thought we were all cheating together…” I stammered weakly.
“I can’t believe you thought I would do that to Christine! I could never betray her like that! She’s my wife!” Duke snarled.
“And why would I lie? There’s no reason to. Plenty of hot ass happy to have this dick on a non-exclusive basis.” Ryder held up his palm, which Duke high-fived.
I admired their coordination. Their palms slapped perfectly, but neither was looking at the other because they were both drilling into me with harsh, judgmental glares.
“I can’t believe you thought we were both cheaters all this time. That’s so insulting,” Ryder said.
“We’re ethical non-monogamists!” Duke hollered. He looked actually hurt. “Man, we’ve even talked to you about this before. Many times!”
I had no memory of those conversations whatsoever, but the parallel to how I missed Callie’s confession of her witch powers was immediate. Probably when Duke and Ryder had told me all this, I had been staring at some woman’s ass while I only pretended to listen.
“So, you don’t have any agreements with Callie? All those times we saw you pick up other women, you were just… cheating?”
I don’t think Ryder could look more sickened if he’d learned I was a serial killer with thirty bodies buried in the basement.
“Yes. It was all cheating… she didn’t know about any of it,” I admitted. I felt like such a jackass. Seeing the contempt and disapproval in my buddies’ faces brought a whole extra dimension of disgrace to my situation.
Duke and Ryder began to trade off berating me.
“How could you do that to her? Callie is such an incredible woman!”
“Way better than you, if we’re being honest.”
“We always wondered how you landed someone so out of your league.”
“And you didn’t even appreciate how much you scored with her?”
“You have a woman that incredible at home, and all you do is lie to her?”
I tried to mumble a defense. “I thought… I thought this is just what every married guy did. Take care of it privately, don’t let her find out.”
“Maybe in the 1950s!” Duke snapped.
Ryder shook his head. “Damn dude. Get with the times.”
“I don’t think she’s going to forgive me, guys.”
“I wouldn’t blame her,” Duke said.
“No one would,” Ryder agreed, cold contempt in his eyes.
“I don’t know what to do.” My voice came out smaller than I’d ever heard it.
“Well, get the fuck out of here for one thing,” Duke commanded.
“Yeah. Go home to your wife and start begging,” Ryder instructed.
“And pray she doesn’t realize how much better she can do than you,” Duke finished.
At that, the two of them walked off to leave me marinating in my debasement.
Well, that was almost as bad as if they had learned of the curse.
I sat there alone in the corner, the thumping bass of the club feeling like it was pounding directly into my skull.
Duke and Ryder’s condemnation was a blow I hadn’t seen coming at all. The truth was, I’d always used them to validate my own behavior. We were all doing the same thing, like all guys do.
Or so I had thought.
But it turned out they weren’t like me at all. They had been one hundred percent honest with all their women about what they could and could not give them. And it seemed that approach could not have worked out better for all involved. Why the hell hadn’t I ever thought of that?
Duke and Ryder had looked at me like I was the lowest piece of shit on the planet. Callie regarded me with rage and contempt. All the other women I’d tried to bone hadn’t held back with their low opinions of me, once they established the dick was out of commission.
The emerging consensus seemed undeniable. My friends, my wife, my lovers… they had given me a good long look the last week, and they all found me severely lacking.
Maybe they all just wanted to kick a man while he was down? I couldn’t be as bad as they all said… could I?
I pushed myself up from the chair, my legs feeling unsteady. Maybe Duke and Ryder were right that I should go back to Callie now, but I wasn’t ready to face her yet. The thought of being so completely under the thumb of my sweet, meek, tiny little wife…
For now, I just had to push away all these harsh judgments of me that were piling up everywhere. I had to keep myself together, and keep my focus on the doctor’s appointment tomorrow. It was my last hope.