Chapter 15
CALLIE
“Ihave to say, in my fifteen years practicing, this is the most one-sided divorce agreement I have ever drawn up.”
It surprised me that Grant, my handsome divorce attorney, was even old enough to have been practicing law for fifteen years. I might have been checking him out a bit too obviously. Damn, I really was thirsty for a rebound guy. The minute this divorce was done…
But I knew I wouldn’t have long to wait. Maddox would slink back any day now. Once the curse sank in for him, there was nothing he would refuse me.
“Do you really believe he’ll sign this?” Grant asked.
“Oh, there’s not a doubt in my mind.”
“I admire your confidence,” he said diplomatically.
“Trust me, it’s warranted.”
Gods bless his timing, because just then I heard the door open. “Callie?” Maddox called out. The booming, authoritative tone I was used to hearing from him was gone. His voice was tentative and questioning.
What a perfect tableau for him to return home to. Me, sharing a glass of wine with an attractive, square-jawed, strapping man in an expensive suit that emphasized his powerful build. “We’re in the kitchen, Maddox!”
He stopped dead when he crossed the doorway and saw the hunk I was with. I guessed his new position hadn’t sunk in fully yet, because he had the unbelievable nerve to bristle visibly at Grant’s presence. “Who the fuck is this?” Maddox demanded.
Annoyance surged through me. How had I ever put up with this man?
How could I have had such terrible taste?
“Relax, we’re not sleeping together. This is Grant, my divorce attorney.
He was just delivering the final version of our divorce settlement.
” I turned to Grant. “Do you have a pen? Maddox is ready to sign.”
Maddox’s anger flared as he stepped toward us, suddenly seething. “We can’t be at a final settlement when this is the first I’m hearing the word divorce! I haven’t agreed to anything!”
“Haven’t you, though?” I gave him a little “so sad” smile and dropped my gaze to his crotch.
His face immediately flushed red. That wasn’t something I had ever seen from him before. He wasn’t a blusher. He was so terrified I was going to reveal to the still-virile man next to me what had happened to him.
It was funny. In our entire relationship, I had never wanted to feel dominant over Maddox. This was a new sensation that I’d never sought, but I liked it.
“I take it you’re back because you want to try to earn my forgiveness?”
His shoulders tensed. “Yes.”
“I’m not surprised. I’ve given it some thought, and I am fine with you living in the basement for the time being.”
“The basement?!?” he yelped. That was the reaction I was looking for. It was a grim, unfinished space, dank, stuffy, and unventilated, with a persistent rodent problem we’d been struggling with since we moved in. The one dreadful space in this otherwise gorgeous home.
I took a leisurely sip of my wine. “I’m going to be clear with you.
The only way to possibly get me in a forgiving mood is for you to spend a very, very, very long time doing whatever it takes to keep me happy.
And right now there is nothing that would make me happier than you signing this divorce settlement. ”
“But I’m here to win you back!”
I scoffed. “That’s sweet. If you ever pull it off, we’ll get remarried. In the meantime, I want to be free to enjoy the same sexual freedoms you’ve taken for yourself, and I want to do it as an officially single woman. Sign the document. Grant, pen?”
Grant clicked the pen already in his hand and extended it to Maddox. What a smooth guy.
Maddox didn’t take it immediately. He was looking back and forth between me and Grant. Trying to work out his next move. The poor, trapped dummy. Nervousness flickered across his face. He clenched his jaw again. The struggle couldn’t be more obvious.
“What are the terms?” he said finally.
“Oh, they absolutely could not be worse for you. You turn over everything to me, every asset you have. One hundred percent of your money, your investment accounts, the house, all of your personal possessions… all three cars.” I loved the flicker of pain the last one produced in his eyes.
He loved those cars, more than he had ever loved me.
“Literally everything you own, every dime you have to your name, will be mine now. It’s very clear-cut.
I take all of everything, and you start your life over from absolute zero. ”
He opened his mouth, fury still radiating from his rigid posture.
“Let me stop you before you say something you regret. Think carefully before you speak,” I warned.
His body started twitching a little. He was so coiled and tense. An explosion was building inside him. He hated this feeling almost as much as I loved watching it.
“Just give me a night to think about it.” He was imagining there was a way out of this with just a few more hours of thinking!
“If you insist. Just be aware, taking a night to think about it will make me very… very… very unhappy. So unhappy that I might just bail on this whole situation, move far away, and never let you know where I’ve gone. How are you going to win my forgiveness if you can’t even find me?”
His face contorted in the most pained grimace I’d ever witnessed.
The new order was sinking in. He took the pen, bringing it to the paper with a shaking hand.
He wanted so badly to find a way out of this.
It was like his body was fighting him. The pen would be about to make contact with the paper, and then he’d jerk back a little, his hand trembling.
I watched him struggle with himself, the war playing out across his features.
He ground his teeth as beads of sweat formed at his temple.
But at last he recognized he had only one move. He signed, unable to suppress an anguished, gutted moan as he did so.
Grant shot to his feet. “Oh my god! I can’t believe he actually signed it!” He turned toward Maddox. “I can’t believe you signed that!”
I snatched the papers right back and countersigned. My marriage was over! I supposed technically they had to be filed with the court first, but I was not waiting for technicalities. In my heart, this was the moment I felt the marriage end.
The most incredible feeling of relief washed over me. I was free. I felt like I was flying.
Oh gods, it looked like Maddox had something he was going to say.
“But this doesn’t mean I’m not still determined to win you back. Because I am! I’ve been thinking a lot, and I was wrong. I’m so sorry that I took you for granted—”
His words were coming out with such a rehearsed feeling that there was no reason to listen to them.
Not that there would be any reason to listen to them even if they sounded sincere and deeply felt.
I held up a hand to silence him. “Save it.” I turned to Grant.
“You’re a very attractive man, and I am eager for some no-strings-attached sex, now that I’m free.
Do you have any interest in having a rebound one-night stand with me? ”
“Oh, that’s very flattering, but I have a girlfriend.”
“Well, isn’t that wonderful!” I turned to my now ex-husband.
Mmmm, ex-husband. I loved thinking those words.
“Isn’t that something, Maddox? Look at how easily he turns down sex.
Because he wouldn’t want to cheat on his girlfriend.
What an inspiring example of integrity and fidelity, don’t you think? ”
Maddox mumbled something unintelligible.
“I’m sorry, we didn’t catch that.”
“Yes, inspiring,” he grumbled despairingly.
I turned my attention back to Grant. “It must be challenging sometimes, right? Staying faithful?”
“Oh, no, not at all! From the day we met, I knew she was the only girl for me. We’re actually taking a trip to Paris next month, and I’m going to propose.” The love was just beaming off him.
“It sounds like she’s a very lucky woman,” I said.
“Not nearly as lucky as I am.” Grant slid the divorce paperwork into his briefcase.
“Well, I’ll have this filed first thing in the morning.
” He shook my hand. “Congratulations, you are now a very wealthy woman.” And then he shook Maddox’s hand.
“And my condolences. Best of luck rebuilding your life.” Grant chuckled a little at that. Too bad he was taken.
Grant left. Maddox stood there, dumb, angry and sad. “Can we talk?” he asked. There was that meek, placating tone again.
“Sure, we can talk about your task for tonight. I want this kitchen to be spotless by the time I wake up.”
Given the fact that the kitchen was mostly clean, with only a few dirty plates and glasses from the meal I just shared with Grant, Maddox relaxed at that. He had been bracing himself for so much worse.
Which would now come. The wine bottle was nearly full, and, smirking at him while I did so, I tipped it over, sending it spilling all over the counter and floor. The sharp smell of pinot noir filled the air as it splattered everywhere.
He looked dumbstruck as I charged to the fridge and took out a carton of eggs, which I started hurling at the cabinets, the walls, the counter.
Yolk and shell sprayed everywhere, the wet smack of each impact satisfying in a way I hadn’t expected.
The release of smashing things felt so good, especially using my own hands and not magic.
As he stood there dully, I kept at it, pulling every messy item out of the fridge and hurling it around me. I took particular joy in shattering all the stupid hot sauces he loved.
Watching the food and jars smash everywhere, I was taken back to when we first started dating.
Not only had I handled all the housework during the entire duration of our marriage, but before we were even that serious, I had started cleaning his place whenever I went over!
Before we even lived together! Before we even talked about living together!
Why had I done that? Shouldn’t I have recognized his inability to clean up after himself as a sign of his immaturity, as a warning sign?
But all I thought at the time was: what a great opportunity to show this man what a wonderful wife I could be.
As I continued to smash away in a frenzy, rage consumed me completely, and I wasn’t even sure who it was at. Myself? Him? Both of us?
That question would have to wait. I was going to focus solely on the rage now, as I smashed a glass jar of pickles on the edge of the sink, the brine splashing up my arms.
I realized the fridge was now empty. Our kitchen (correction: my kitchen) had never been this filthy. Wine and truffle oil made the floor treacherously slick under my feet. Egg yolk dripped slowly down the cabinet faces. Jam and pickle brine mixed on the counter in a grotesque soup.
But I wasn’t done yet. I strode to the cabinets and began yanking open doors, pulling out wedding gifts with methodical fury. I smashed the set of plates from his aunt on the floor, one at a time. The glass cake stand from Brie’s mother exploded as I hurled it across the room.
I know Maddox would never remember what had come from where.
He couldn’t tell I was only destroying things from the wedding, that anything I’d purchased after that remained untouched in the cabinets.
But I knew. Every item I destroyed was a gift given to celebrate our marriage, our future together.
A future he’d been actively destroying with every woman he’d fucked behind my back.
It felt right to obliterate these tokens of a union that had been a lie from the start.
As I cracked the immersion blender from one of his frat buddies into pieces, I realized that finished it. Every wedding gift in this kitchen was now thoroughly pulverized.
I turned to Maddox, who was frozen and frightened. As he should be. “I’m going to wake up at seven tomorrow, and I expect to be served a perfect French vegetable omelet in a spotless kitchen.”
“But how can I make an omelet when there’s no food left? It’s after ten.”
“There are twenty-four-hour grocery stores.”
“But I don’t know how to cook French omelets!”
“Figure it out. The internet is your friend here.”
“But this is too much mess to clean up in one night!”
“You better hope it can be cleaned up in one night, because if it’s not, I will be… unhappy.” As I stretched out that last word, he appropriately quavered with fear. “And I’ve heard enough excuses from you.” I stepped toward him, holding his eyes. “Has it not sunk in yet?”
“I… umm… I love you,” he said weakly.
I continued to stare daggers at him.
His head bowed in surrender. “Where are the cleaning supplies?” he mumbled.
I had so completely carried this man he didn’t even know where to find the cleaning supplies in his own damn house. “I’m sure you can find them if you look hard enough.”
And at that, I exited to my bedroom and left my despondent ex-husband to wallow in filth like he deserved.