Chapter 18 #2
But it was. In ten seconds flat, the car had flown so high into the sky that it had nearly disappeared from view. If it wasn’t for the brightness of the full moon reflecting off the polished metal, I would have lost sight of it entirely.
Callie’s hand switched to a flat “halt” position, and the car’s movement stopped. It hung there, miles above the earth.
My heart was racing, watching my precious convertible suspended so precariously. I wondered for a moment if I should say something or be silent. Which path was more dangerous? “Callie, baby, please…” I began, infusing my voice with a desperate tone I hoped would placate her.
“Shut the fuck up. You know what was one of the worst things about being married to you? You give the worst apologies of anyone I have ever met. Of course, despite your constant asshole behavior, you’ve apologized so rarely that I didn’t notice the pattern till now.
But the few times you’ve tried it, it’s always about you.
All you want to do is make a big speech.
You never want to have a conversation. You never want to actually hear from me about how I feel.
You just want to drop a lot of empty words about how bad you feel—now that you’ve been caught.
And if I’m really lucky, maybe you give some generic compliments about me being nice and sweet and pretty, and then you ask me for forgiveness before I’ve even said one word about myself!
Before you’ve asked me a single thing! Apologies are supposed to be about the person being apologized to!
As far as I can tell, you’ve never spoken one word of apology that was about anything other than your own need to escape consequences. ”
Everything she was saying felt uncomfortably true, but my heart was so consumed with terror about the danger to my precious car.
I didn’t know what to say or do. I just had to get her to bring the convertible back to earth safely, then we could talk about this.
“You’re right, I know you’re right, I’m so sorry Callie, I don’t know why I’m like this,” I rambled frantically.
She kept talking right over me. “You think that apology was anywhere near the scale of what you’ve done to me?
Years of betrayal, and you’re going to wash that away with a few hollow sentences?
Are you out of your fucking mind? I cannot believe what a spineless doormat I’ve been to you for our entire relationship, if you thought an apology that pathetic and empty would work.
When I told you I was giving you the car back, you actually thought you’d earned it! ”
“Baby, I understand. I shouldn’t have thought that was real—”
“Oh, but it is real. I am giving you the car back. Let’s get it back here right away.” And at that, she dropped her hand, the sparkling magic vanishing from her eyes.
And immediately my beautiful car, the most precious possession I’d ever owned, entered free fall.
“Callie, no!” I screamed as it plummeted down. “Please don’t do this! You know how much that car means to me!”
But she only laughed as it rocketed toward the ground. It landed with the most sickening scream of metal I’d ever heard. The car crumpled and shattered, jagged debris shooting out in all directions.
One of these sharp pieces was coming right at me. I didn’t even dodge. I was so beaten down I didn’t have reflexes anymore.
But it didn’t hit me. Instead, the debris struck a magical force field Callie conjured around the wreck.
The pieces hit the glittering energy and clattered harmlessly to the ground.
The magic dissipated a moment later, affording me a totally clear view of the utter destruction wrought on my beloved convertible.
As I looked at the smoking pile of smashed metal on the ground, the scene overwhelmed my ability to think. I fell to my knees, gasping for breath. I loved that car more than most parents love their children, and it had been reduced to a crushed steel pancake.
Callie dug in her pockets and pulled out the car keys. She tossed them to me, and I caught them dumbly.
“Here you go,” she said, gesturing at the ruined heap. “This is what that apology was worth.”
I remained on my knees, frozen and immobile. I had no words. I tried to speak, and only a whimper came out.
Callie groaned in disgust. “I’m going to go hang out in Nightshade Cove tonight. I’ll be back in the morning. See that breakfast is ready by seven as usual,” she commanded, before vanishing in a column of magical energy.
So, teleportation was among my wife’s magical abilities.
I didn’t even move for the next ten minutes. I spent all that time kneeling there, staring at the wreckage of my dream car. Clutching the keys so tightly in my balled fist, I actually drew blood.
At last, I recognized that there was nothing to do but accept this destruction and crawl back to my dirty sleeping bag on the cold cement floor of the basement.
It was fitting. The car had been purchased to celebrate what a successful man I had become. But I was no longer a man, successful or otherwise.
As bad as the loss of the car was, the absolute worst part of this evening was… Callie’s accusations hit home. I wanted so badly to dismiss her words as an irrational overreaction. But I couldn’t. The truth was, my apology had been exactly as feeble and self-serving as she said.
Yet somehow, before I’d said it, I had no clue.
That was probably the most damning fact of all.
Callie was correct that it was a terrible apology, but it was also legitimately the best apology I knew how to give.
How could I come up this short here? How could I have expected such selfish sentiments to move her?
I had always had such a high opinion of myself. But… based on what? My prowess at fucking around? What kind of measuring stick was that?
What was wrong with me?