Chapter 5
Farrah
It was a clear summer night, and the Longhorns had just won the College World Series against the University of Georgia at our home field.
Walker had pitched the final game that had sealed the deal, and was on absolute fire; no one could get a hit off him.
The energy in the stadium was an electric sea of burnt orange.
I sat with some of my sorority sisters in the student section, our voices hoarse from celebration.
"I can't believe they did it! Oh my god, Walker was unreal tonight, Farrah!
" my sorority sister and closest college friend, Taylor, said.
The Bulldogs had been the favorites to win early in the series, until the Longhorns kept winning, one win after another.
Taylor and I had our arms wrapped around each other, jumping up and down excitedly, but I couldn't take my eyes off number forty-four.
The grin he had split his handsome face in half.
Walker was celebrating with his teammates right outside of the dugout when his dark green eyes glanced up toward where I was sitting and locked with mine.
He threw me a wink, immediately making my heart flutter.
It didn't matter how long I’d been with the guy; he always set my body on fire.
I blew him a kiss and turned my attention back to Taylor, who was currently fanning her face.
"Damn, that boy has it bad for you. Ugh, I’m so jealous you’re dating a tall, hot baseball player," she whined, and I couldn't help but laugh.
"Oh, shut up, Tay, you’ve got one football player and one basketball player currently after you, you’re doing just fine." I rolled my eyes. Taylor was tall and gorgeous, with dark auburn hair and bright blue eyes.
A sheepish grin appeared. "I like to keep my options open. Until one of those boys looks at me like that one down there looks at you, I'm not settling."
"Okay, fair enough." I held my hands up in surrender.
"Are you coming out tonight with us to celebrate?
" I knew Rainey Street was going to be crazy tonight, and I really hoped Taylor would come.
I was the more introverted of the two of us, so I usually did better when I was with her or with a group of our sisters.
Crowds gave me anxiety, and I knew tonight would be intense.
"For sure! I'm not missing tonight's party, are you kidding me?
Let's grab the rest of the girls so we can head out and get there before it gets too wild.
Is Walker going to meet us there?" Taylor led the way out of the stadium to meet three of our sisters who were waiting for us: Emily, Sophie, and Amy.
I nodded. "Yeah, he and some of the other guys will probably be an hour or so behind us."
It took us a bit to get over to Rainey Street, where all our favorite bars were, due to the insane traffic from the game.
Once we got there, we found an area to set up shop after getting our drinks.
The five of us were standing and chatting while another group of girls stood over to the right of us.
They already seemed a bit tipsy, as their voices were loud enough for our group to make out their entire conversation.
"Walker James is so fucking hot. He was insane tonight, and I think that only made me want to hook up with him more," a girl with long brown hair said. Taylor looked over at me, her eyes wide, acknowledging she’d heard what I’d just heard.
"Oh my god, I know," laughed the blonde friend. "I started following him on social media, and he accepted my friend request," she squealed like a little schoolgirl.
Now Emily was looking at me, sympathy in her eyes.
She knew I didn't handle this type of stuff well.
Walker had been getting a lot of attention from other girls this year, and it was really hard for me.
Sophie reached out and placed her hand on my arm to reassure me.
Amy just shook her head, looking pissed off as hell.
I tried to ignore them and continue our own conversation; it all came with the territory, I was quickly learning. But I could assure you that Walker and I would be having a chat about accepting girls' friend requests later.
"Girl, same. I DM'd him last night," the brunette replied.
"Stop it! I would be too nervous to. Did he respond?" the blonde asked with bated breath.
Just as the brunette was about to answer her, loud cheers erupted through the bar, causing all of us to turn in the direction of the entrance. In strode Walker and four of his teammates. Not noticing me in the back just yet, he turned toward the bar with his teammates.
I was about to continue my conversation with the girls until I noticed the blonde and the brunette beeline for Walker at the bar. I internally groaned, fuck. My friends followed my gaze and saw what was happening.
"Do you want me to go over there and get those bitches away from him?" Amy asked, balling her fist.
"Yeah, we can go run some interference," Taylor chimed in while Emily and Sophie nodded in agreement.
"No, it's okay. He’s a big boy and needs to handle himself." I started nervously playing with the straw of my drink, not able to tear my eyes away. The brunette placed her hand on Walker's back to get his attention. He turned around to see who was touching him and smiled down at her.
What the fuck, Walker?
Sometimes Walker was too friendly for his own good. They began chatting, and the blonde, deciding to give her friend this one, turned to talk to one of his teammates. The brunette started laughing and placed her hand on Walker's arm.
She needed to get her goddamn hands off him.
The blonde walked off with Walker’s teammate to talk to some other people off in the corner, leaving Walker alone with her friend.
They were now both laughing, and Walker leaned up against the bar, perfectly comfortable and content, evidently not wanting to leave this conversation to find me, his girlfriend.
Fan-fucking-tastic.
My blood was beginning to boil, but this was a good test for him, so I left it alone.
Just when I finally decided to force myself to look away, Taylor growled, "What the fuck!
" causing me to look back over at him immediately.
There he stood, the brunette showing him something on her phone, then taking it from her, looking at it, and then showing her his phone.
I felt the tears stinging the back of my eyes, the anger intense, my jaw clenching.
I had had enough.
I stormed over toward them. Walker glanced in my direction, and once he saw me, he grinned. I wanted to slap it off his pretty face. The brunette turned to see who Walker was smiling at, and, somehow getting the hint, she threw me a half-smile and walked away.
Yeah, you better walk away.
Once I reached Walker, I grabbed his arm.
"Outside. Now," was all I said, immediately stalking towards the bar's exit.
I hated public confrontation, and the fact that everyone knew Walker in this bar made it especially public.
I stopped in an area that was off the sidewalk before I spun around to face him, eyes shooting daggers, anger rolling off me in waves.
Walker held his hands up in defense. "Whoa, Farrah, what the hell is wrong?" His brows were pinched together in concern.
"What are you doing, Walker? You win the College World Series, and now you think you can do whatever the hell you want?" I hissed.
"Um, not even a little bit? What are you talking about?" Walker looked at me, confused and completely unaware that what he had just done was inappropriate and disrespectful.
"What was that girl showing you on her phone?
" I didn't give him a chance to answer. "Why were you showing her your phone?
Did y'all exchange numbers or something?
She wants you, Walker. She and her friend were off in the corner, bragging about you accepting their friend requests, and one said she DM'd you.
" My heart felt like it was beating out of my chest, I was so worked up.
Walker shook his head. "No, she showed me that she DM'd me and said I must not have gotten it since I never responded.
I showed her my phone to prove that nope, I did get her DM and chose not to respond because I have a girlfriend.
" Walker reached out for my hand, and I reluctantly let him take it.
"Farrah, I’ve told you over and over again, you are it for me. "
I felt the anger slowly dissipating. "Then why are you accepting friend requests from random girls?"
"I don't know, I accept friend requests from everyone. Ever since this season, I get tons every week, and I don't go through them; I just accept them. I don't really pay much attention to it, honestly." He shrugged.
I took a steadying breath. "Okay, well, it bothers me, Walker. Girls can be crazy. And if you told that girl you had a girlfriend, why were you two over there laughing?" It was clearly my last-ditch effort to catch Walker doing something wrong.
Why? I wasn't sure.
Walker chuckled, which slightly pissed me off, because this wasn't remotely funny. "She was laughing, all sure of herself, that I didn't get her DM, convinced that was why I ignored her. I laughed because I proved her wrong."
I nodded, still hesitant to so easily concede.
"Okay." I wasn't sure what else to say; he had a response for everything.
I didn't recognize this insanely jealous version of myself, and I didn't particularly like it. I felt crazy and out of control. Walker slid his hand up my neck and to my jaw before pulling my mouth to his. My body instantly relaxed and melted into him as it always did. He swiped his tongue across my lips, and I opened for him. His tongue slid against mine as he moaned into my mouth. We stood there on Rainey Street, making out for what I knew was the last time—but Walker didn’t.
I wasn't stupid; the girl from the bar tonight was just a small preview of what the future would look like if he went on to play in the majors.
Baseball was supposed to end after college.
That had been the plan, but after this last season and the Longhorns winning the College World Series, I knew deep in my gut that baseball wasn't over.
Which meant Walker and I probably were.
My worst nightmare was confirmed shortly after the College World Series win. Walker got drafted to the Austin Aviators.
Walking out the door of his apartment was the hardest thing I had ever done in my life.
The look on Walker's face when I told him I couldn't do this anymore, couldn't do us anymore, would forever haunt me. It took every last bit of restraint I had left not to go running back into his apartment and tell him I’d had a momentary lapse of judgment, that I’d gone temporarily insane. The tears hadn’t stopped falling since I’d left his apartment, and that was a couple of days ago, but I knew deep down I had made the right decision for myself.
Most of our relationship had been about Walker and his dreams. He had worked his entire life to get where he was in baseball, and I was so proud of him, but I was also ready for my life to be about me.
My life had revolved around him for so long, and I was okay with that when we were younger.
At the time, it was exciting and fun. I was too young to really know what I wanted to do with my life.
But now? I had my own dreams I wanted to chase.
I guess you would call that maturity. Or maybe self-love.
We had been together for four years, and as incredible as it had been, everything was about baseball.
I was tired of it, but always too scared to say that out loud to him, and myself.
I loved him too much. It didn't really start to take its toll on me and our relationship until he played college ball, and even more so during the College World Series.
I wasn't shocked that he got drafted when the Longhorns won.
With how well he played his senior year and pitched in that final game, I knew that night it was a done deal, even if I didn't want to admit it.
After they won, I began mentally preparing for the breakup I knew was likely coming, because after this last year, I couldn't do it anymore.
If I couldn't handle the attention he got at the collegiate level—the girls, the messages, the way it always felt like I was competing for a place I thought was already mine—how the hell was I supposed to handle the level of attention he would inevitably get in the majors?
I hated what it was already turning me into.
Unbeknownst to Walker, what happened at the bar after the College World Series wasn't what made me want to end things; it was just the final nail in the coffin.