16. Lucy
CHAPTER 16
Lucy
I didn’t dream for the first time in years. All I did was sleep and when I opened my eyes, the cool morning light was like a soft balm against my warm skin. The scent of oranges and tangerines swirled around me as rain pitter-pattered against the window.
Everything was soft and warm, but not too hot that I was sweating. It was the first time I had ever felt so…
I wasn’t sure what it was. Peace? Contentment? I had no idea. There wasn’t a single experience I’d had that was even remotely similar to this one.
Maybe it was close to when my mother had let me rest my head on her knee while she stroked my hair. It had always felt like nothing could ever touch me when I was near her.
My mother was an alpha – a very strong one too, but my father…
Omegas could be murderers just as easily as they could be detectives. They could even kill alphas if they put their minds to it.
And now I was alone with no family other than Frankie.
I closed my eyes and wished I could go back to sleep – back to that world where I’d been loved and protected .
But that world didn’t exist anymore.
Rolling onto my back, I stared up at the ceiling and then frowned. This wasn’t my ceiling. I sat up straight, grabbing my head when it suddenly felt like it was going to explode.
“You’re awake.”
Frankie’s familiar voice kept me from panicking, but this wasn’t my room and I had no idea where the fuck I was. “Can you please explain what’s happening right now?”
“You were feeling sick last night, but Liam was able to get you settled,” Frankie explained. “He suggested you stay at his place since his pheromones were helping you and he thought it would be best if I slept in here with you so you weren’t alone when you woke up.”
Right.
My cheeks grew hot as I remembered how he’d held me in his lap.
And I’d let him.
Eyeing Frankie next to me in the bed gave me déjà vu.
I’d woken up like this the day after hearing my father’s final verdict. We’d slept in the same bed for a long time after that day, and here she was, lying beside me just like old times. Except she was a lot farther away than she usually was.
The inches between us felt like miles.
“So, another alpha suggested all this and you were just…fine with it?”
Frankie gave me a sad little smile and shrugged. “Why wouldn’t we try everything? If it doesn’t help, then we can just go back home.”
Years of trying to help me and failing had really done a number on Frankie.
The white comforter was just heavy enough to make me feel cozy without suffocating me and the room was massive, but empty. The bay window on my side of the bed took up most of the wall, and the others had empty shelves as if this room was just waiting for someone to claim it .
The bed I was using in the center of the room had to be a king and the walls were painted a deep, soothing blue. There was nothing else in the room other than the nightstand painted the same color as the walls with a Tiffany-style lamp on it.
No bags, no phone…where was all my stuff?
Wait, what was I even wearing?
I lifted up the blanket and found I had nothing on but a huge, white shirt.
Was it Liam’s or Cassius’s?
For some reason, I couldn’t bring myself to be bothered they’d put me in this and nothing else, not when Frankie was so depressed. “I’ve told you a million times I don’t care if my pheromones are practically nonexistent. It’s actually better this way because there’s no alpha who can bully me into obedience.”
No, just my omega father.
The irony of that almost made me laugh. How many years had he gotten away with it because no one would believe an omega was out there killing people? Killing alphas? I hadn’t thought it was possible because they’d indoctrinated me so well.
I’d swallowed down those lies just like everyone else, and because of me , my mother was dead.
Murdered.
It was a shame my father was no longer alive. I would have liked to show him he wasn’t the only omega who could kill someone.
Would he have been proud of me then?
I sighed and wondered why Frankie hadn’t said anything else. She usually filled up my silence with her chatter and the emptiness between us was making me sick to my stomach.
Was she jealous?
Maybe she was angry with me for reacting to Liam’s pheromones the way that I had.
“Lucy…” Frankie threw off the blanket and sat up, turning aw ay from me. “Liam called his personal doctor to take a look at you. He gave you an IV for dehydration last night, but I made him wait to ask you personally for any blood tests. Would you do me a favor and let them see if there’s anything they could do to help? You don’t have to take any medicine if you don’t want to, but I’d like for you to at least have the option.”
She grabbed her pants from the floor and pulled them on, eyes on the door instead of me, avoiding me.
I studied my nails as I considered her request.
Did I want to be fixed?
There wasn’t really anything wrong with me if we took me being an omega out of the equation. I wasn’t in pain most of the time and even strong alpha pheromones didn’t do much more than give me a migraine. Every once in a while I’d throw up from aggressive pheromones, but it was much better than choking on air at their feet.
My omega instincts were always there even if it might not reflect in my scent. They pushed me to find an alpha to keep me safe – to find or make a family to care for, but up until this very moment, I’d thought I had all those things.
Sure, I wouldn’t have a scent-matched alpha to fuck my brains out during my rare heats, or have a child who would eventually present as an alpha or an omega, but I could have a beta child with a beta.
If Frankie didn’t see me that way though, then I must really be a failure as an omega. I wasn’t doing enough for her, or maybe she just didn’t want to be responsible for me anymore. I didn’t really know which it was, but either way it hurt .
“Is this because you think I’m defective?” It wasn’t an easy question to ask, but I had to know.
Frankie sat on the edge of the bed and took my hand in hers, wrapping her other hand around my wrist where our platonic bond felt like it was burning to nothing but ash. “I don’t think you’re defective, Lucy. I’m really sorry I said that yesterday. I was just projecting and I’ll make sure I never say anything like that again.”
“Right, of course.” I pulled my hand back and picked at one of my hangnails. “So, if I said I didn’t want treatment if there was a ‘cure,’ you wouldn’t be angry?”
“I don’t care as long as you’re healthy and happy.” Frankie tugged on one of my curls and I looked up, surprised to see tears in her eyes. “I’m sorry I wasn’t enough for you.”
“Why would you think that?” Did she really think I was unhappy with her? “Frankie, I couldn’t have asked for a better friend or alpha. You’re the only reason I’m even alive.”
She shook her head and looked away, angrily wiping away her tears. “You’re the reason I’m an alpha, Lucy, but I couldn’t even do that right. Liam Valor may be our client, but…I’ve never seen you sleep as peacefully as you did when you were in his arms.”
Guilt swept through me and I took her hand again, feeling like I’d lose her if I didn’t – as if she’d slip through my fingers even when she was right in front of me. “We can’t control what type of pheromones we get, Frankie. You’re a good alpha. It’s my fault you’re feeling this way. If I’d been a normal omega, you could have learned how to regulate omega pheromones with your own…”
Frankie’s sad smile made my heart feel as fragile as glass, cracking under the slightest pressure.
She squeezed my hand reassuringly and then pulled me in for a hug. “Let the doctor examine you. If for no other reason than you almost passed out yesterday and then had a panic attack, okay? It would help me worry less if you did.”
Despite my promise to never let another doctor touch me, I couldn’t say no. Not when she asked me like this, phrasing the question so this small act of submission would be for her benefit, not my own.
Sly little fox .
“Fine.” I hugged her tight and breathed in the scent of tangerines. “But I want my own clothes.”
Frankie laughed and kissed my cheek before pulling back. “Cassius grabbed us some stuff from the apartment this morning while you were sleeping.”
Cassius? I frowned and eyed the room I was in, wondering where the fuck my phone had gone.
“I’ll let them know you’re awake,” Frankie said, studying me like she was worried I’d try to run away if she left me alone. “Is there anything I can get for you? Some coffee maybe?”
I nodded and looked out the window again to watch the rain splatter against the glass like bugs delightfully committing suicide. “Coffee and my phone.”
Frankie opened the door and left without another word, leaving me alone in a stranger’s house. The sound of the door closing behind her confirmed my worst fear.
She’d given up on me.
I was no longer her responsibility, but Liam’s. Why? Because his pheromones affected me in a way hers didn’t? Why did that have to matter? Why was it so fucking important that she’d trust a stranger to help me?
How could he possibly know me better than she did?
I looked up at the ceiling to keep the sudden tears from falling and blinked them away.
How could she just give up without asking me if that’s what I wanted?
Frankie hadn’t asked me if I wanted to let Liam and his stupid pheromones take care of me. She’d just handed me over like the last fifteen years didn’t matter.
Why was fixing me so important to her?
I flopped back onto the bed and laced my fingers over my stomach to stare at the ceiling. I really shouldn’t take it personally. Frankie probably assumed I was defective because of what had happened with my father and hers. Because of that, she’d felt the need to take responsibility for me, and that single moment in time had triggered her pheromones.
Frankie had become an alpha right there in that courtroom. For me. Because that’s what I’d needed. Being an alpha had been everything to her…she’d leaned into it with more grace than anyone I’d ever seen. Frankie was a gentle alpha who had effortlessly kept me safe ever since I’d become an orphan.
She’d even left her pack. For me.
But I’d settled into my designation before they’d arrested my father. It wasn’t her father’s fault I’d perfumed way too young.
I was sick by normal standards and she couldn’t fix it, so her entire reason for existing was crumbling beneath her feet.
Objectively, I could see that, but it still hurt to watch her hand me over so willingly.
I ignored the knock on my door, but they didn’t wait for my permission. Frankie came through first, followed by the unfamiliar scent of clay, soil, and grass. It was the nice clean, earthy scent of a beta.
That was a relief at least. If the doctor had been an omega, this would have been a million times more difficult.
Ironically, omega doctors were far less empathetic than betas.
“Ms. Parker, I’d like to get your blood pressure and then I’ll need to do a few blood tests if that’s okay with you.” His voice was nice, but clinical.
I kept my eyes on the ceiling but offered him my right arm.
The door opened again and I turned my head to see Liam leaning against the doorframe with his arms crossed over his chest. Even in a T-shirt and jeans, he looked beautiful – like he should be in an ad for everything he was wearing.
I turned back to the ceiling as the doctor did what he needed to do. The pinch of the needle barely even registered and the sensation of getting my blood taken was familiar enough to ignore .
Who the fuck did Liam think he was to take me into his home? He’d even called his personal doctor to have a look at me, and stood in my doorway to watch instead of at least giving me the illusion of privacy.
God, I hated him.
I hated alphas for always thinking they knew better – for telling us all we were nothing without them. They never had to say it in so many words since it was always painfully clear what they thought by their actions.
“When was your last heat?” the doctor asked in a soft and gentle tone.
“Three years ago.”
The silence that followed that statement was suffocating.
“Any other symptoms you’ve been having?”
I appreciated his professionalism, but I just wanted him to hurry the fuck up so I could get dressed and leave. “Alpha pheromones don’t affect me. Not even a legacy alpha’s pheromones.”
Other than Liam’s apparently.
“At all?”
“If they try to force me to submit, I can get pheromone sickness a few hours later which presents as dizziness, headaches, migraines, and nausea. Otherwise, no.” I didn’t dare glance at Liam. “Until yesterday, Frankie was the only person who could calm me down, but Mr. Valor was able to help me while she was working.”
I had to make sure to keep that distance between us.
Liam Valor was the son of my client and my point of contact. I was here to find out who’d killed his brother and why, not get myself a new alpha when I didn’t even want one. Whatever he thought was going on, he was wrong.
“What about Cassius Valentine?” the doctor asked.
His question surprised me enough I finally turned to look at him. “What about him?”
“Liam informed me Cassius used his pheromones with you as well. How did that go?” It was disturbing how innocent the doctor looked as he asked me that question, like he couldn’t possibly understand why this was a problem.
So, it hadn’t just been Liam, but Cassius too?
I looked back up the ceiling and tried to remember exactly what had happened, but I’d fallen asleep in Liam’s arms. Cassius had been at my back to keep me from running away, and I vaguely remembered the scent of his sharp apple joining Liam’s sweet oranges, but those added pheromones hadn’t made me sick to my stomach.
No, they’d been just as comforting as Liam’s.
“I don’t remember,” I murmured, hoping they would all just leave it at that. “If I didn’t throw up, then I guess it was fine.”
How was I going to avoid these two now? I had to work closely with Liam if not Cassius. Would he try to use his pheromones on me now that he knew they worked?
That others didn’t?
“That should be it for now,” the doctor told me as he placed a bandage over the tiny spot where he’d drawn my blood. “I’ll get this processed and we should have some answers in a few hours.”
“Good luck,” I muttered, pressing down on my arm to make sure the bleeding stopped. “I take it you want all my medical records too?”
“If you like, but I’m only interested in your pheromone levels over the years. Preferably from when you first perfumed,” the doctor admitted, patting my arm gently. “The rest isn’t important.”
That surprised me enough I looked at him again, studying his face to make sure I remembered it. He was wearing glasses and his hair was dirty blond, falling into his eyes just like Liam’s did.
“Could you take your glasses off?” I knew it was a weird question, but the doctor didn’t hesitate. He just smiled and pulled them off, leaning down so I could get a better look at him.
Blue eyes that leaned toward grey. They were nothing like Cassius’s intense blue and for some reason that made me trust this doctor a little more.
He wasn’t wearing a lab coat either, which would help me recognize him in the future. I didn’t bother asking his name since I wouldn’t remember it, but I did want to do some research on him later.
“Could you leave your business card on the nightstand?” I turned my gaze back to the ceiling to indicate I was done with my inspection. “I’d like to go back to work today. Is that possible?”
“I’ll have a more accurate answer for you once I see your blood tests.” The sound of a card settling on the nightstand loosened some of the tightness in my chest. “For now, I’ll let you decide what the best course of action is. No one knows your body better than you do.”
That statement had me outright staring at him.
It was unusual for a doctor to trust me like this instead of asserting they knew better thanks to all their years of schooling. “This isn’t some kind of trick, is it?”
He slipped his glasses back on and smiled at me. “No, of course not. But if I may make a suggestion?”
“Sure.”
“If you’re going to work today, you should have Liam or Cassius around you until we can figure out what’s causing your symptoms. If their pheromones are keeping you stable, you should take advantage of that until we can find an alternate solution.”
I glanced at Liam and wondered if he’d somehow known exactly what kind of doctor I’d needed.
Last night I told him things I’ve never told anyone other than Frankie, but I hadn’t expected him to actually listen and take those words to heart .
This doctor wasn’t just a beta who knew about omega pheromones. He seemed to be operating under the impression that there was nothing wrong with me other than a few unpleasant symptoms.
Would he still feel that way after he saw my medical records?
“Frankie, could you send him everything?” I shifted my gaze away from Liam to watch her awkwardly hand me a cup of coffee.
It almost shattered my glass heart when she smiled at me, looking so relieved I wanted to throw my cup of coffee at her.
“Yeah, I’ll send him everything,” she promised, leaning down to kiss my forehead. “Thank you, Lucy. I really think this is going to help.”
Help in what way?
I looked past her to study Liam again and wondered if this was the right choice.
My natural resistance to alpha pheromones didn’t work with him, and the longer I stayed near him, the more I was going to fucking drown in his scent until there was nothing left of me.