28. Lucy
CHAPTER 28
Lucy
I dared a glance at him.
Liam stared out at the city lights against the night sky and it was impossible not to be awed by his beauty all over again. He looked like a Renaissance painting or maybe a statue of Adonis. It was unreal just how perfect he was, and the violence I could feel simmering under his skin only made him more beautiful in my opinion.
There was no room for softness in my life, not anymore. And even if there was a gentle alpha who wanted me, I wouldn’t know what to do with them.
If Liam wasn’t my client, I was almost positive I wouldn’t have been so resistant to this attraction between us…even if he were a legacy alpha.
Those words he’d spoken to Melinda had settled into my blood and bones, their claws sinking deep into my brain to hold on tight and whisper sweet promises to me.
Liam Valor would never try to force me to do anything I didn’t want to do, and that ridiculously overpowered aura of his would ensure that no one else would either, not even his pack .
Or so he said.
Liam kept doing things that confused me, and I needed to find out what his real intentions were or I was going to lose it.
Was any of this real, or was it just biological? I couldn’t figure it out, not when he made me feel like this.
“It’s raining,” he murmured, sliding his gaze to capture mine and making me wince when he caught me staring at him. His slight smile reassured me though – promising he liked that I was looking.
Liam reached out for me again, and nothing in the world could force me to look away from him, not when my heart was pounding in my chest and my breathing was starting to get shallow.
Drops of rain made soft sounds on the glass, creating streams of water and making the lights fracture until the room felt cozy. The sound was soothing, but not enough to override the way he made me feel when he tucked a loose curl behind my ear.
Like my entire body was on fire.
“Do you like the scent of oranges, Lucy?”
It took a second for his question to register and the moment it did, I immediately drained every drop of water in my glass. He made me ridiculously thirsty in so many ways. “Why do you want to know?”
“I’m just curious.” Liam laced his fingers through mine and then propped his chin on his hand to watch me, making my entire body stiffen in shock and disbelief at how familiar he was being. “You mentioned it last night, so I was curious.”
I did?
I must have.
His hand felt cool against my flushed skin and the contrast was making it hard to think.
Clearing my throat, I set the glass down, using it as an excuse to look away from his overwhelming focus and attention. “I prefer citrus scents in general, but if I had to pick one, I’d say oranges are my favorite. ”
It was kind of embarrassing to admit, considering what Liam’s pheromones smelled like, but I had to assume that’s why he’d asked me in the first place.
Liam Valor, a legacy alpha, wanted something from me …because I was an omega.
I kept my eyes on my empty glass, and tried not to freak out that Liam didn’t say anything to push me to answer. His expression was so endlessly patient as he waited, like he really did care about my happiness and safety. Nothing else.
Was it his alpha instincts or was it my omega pheromones affecting him? Maybe it was a little bit of both, because I’d never seen an alpha act like this around me – at least, not other than Frankie, and she had never been this intense.
There was actually an alpha in this world other than Frankie who thought there was something only I could do for him, because I was an omega .
My pounding heart suddenly stopped dead as something occurred to me.
What would he do when he found out how defective I really was? I’d never been able to help Frankie. How the hell was I supposed to help someone as strong as Liam?
“Is there a particular reason you like the smell of citrus?” Liam brought my hand up, forcing me to refocus on him, and I watched as he brushed those soft lips over my knuckles like we really were bonded, or at the very least, considering it.
All I could do was stare as he gave me such sweet affection, as if we’d known each other for years.
Like I was precious to him.
My palms were suddenly sweaty and I pulled my hand out of his as gently as I could, half surprised and half disappointed when he let me. “It reminds me of someone,” I admitted.
“Someone you like?”
“Someone I liked ,” I corrected. “It’s been a very long time since I last saw him though.”
My body wanted something, desperately , but I had to learn how to ignore it. I couldn’t let my weakness show or they’d feast upon me just as he had warned me…I couldn’t think about that either or I’d never make it through dinner.
“What happened?”
“He had to leave.”
“Hm. Why do you look so sad for someone who likes rainy days and oranges then?” Liam grabbed the bottom of my chair and pulled me closer so smoothly that I found myself staring up into those gorgeous red eyes once more.
I really wanted him, didn’t I? This legacy alpha who kept making me feel special.
Every time he did something for me…I wanted to give in to my instincts and trust him. I wanted to rely on his strength so badly, but I was terrified .
What if I gave in and then we went our separate ways after this case?
Even still…I wanted to tell him everything. I wanted someone to understand. Because even Frankie had never quite understood why I still thought about that boy.
“Sometimes I wonder what would have happened if he’d stayed,” I admitted, shifting in my chair so I was just a little bit closer to him. “But he always kept me at arm’s length. There was a wall between us that I never really understood. I don’t even know his name. But none of that matters anymore. It was a long time ago and we were just kids.”
“Why does this boy remind you of rainy days and oranges?”
I searched his eyes, wondering why he wanted to know so badly, but it wouldn’t hurt to tell him.
Liam wanted me to trust him, so maybe I should. It would be a good test and maybe then I’d know…
Maybe I would finally understand why I was so drawn to him.
“It rained the day he had to leave,” I explained, unconsciously reaching up to touch the spider lily tattooed on my shoulder. “He smelled sweet like oranges and even though it was raining, he wasn’t using his umbrella despite having one. At first I didn’t understand why he would do that, but then I noticed he was crying. That was the first and only time I ever saw him cry.”
Sliding my hand up to the connecting spider lily on my neck, I wondered if I’d be getting another one this year.
How many years was I going to do this to myself?
Red spider lilies were summer flowers associated with final goodbyes when people part ways for good – they also guide the dead through the cycle of rebirth. Fitting, considering that boy had left during a summer storm.
Every year he didn’t come back for me, I would get a spider lily tattoo, and tell myself I needed to say goodbye for real this time because I’d never see him again. I had to say goodbye and move on.
That boy wasn’t coming back to save the girl I used to be. There was no point anyways since she was long dead and gone. Every spider lily inked into my skin was a reminder that I needed to accept that.
I’d been forced to become someone else to survive in such a hateful world without him – a world that kept trying to consume every piece of me until there was nothing left.
But…
Now there was a man who reminded me so much of that boy and in so many ways – a man who was sitting here looking at me with the kind of patience I desperately needed, the kind of patience no one had ever been able to give me.
The look in Liam’s eyes told me he could wait forever if need be as long as those pretty red eyes could see me…
Color from the LED lights painted his white-blond hair in a deep red, making his legacy eyes look even more intense. The sudden urge to touch his hair was overwhelming…I was consumed with curiosity. Would it feel as soft as it looked?
I reached out before I could stop myself and hesitated at the last second, worried he might not like it. “That boy asked me to wait for him and for whatever reason, I always think he might come back when it rains…but I don’t remember what he looks like, so how would I know if I ever saw him again?”
Liam’s pheromones shifted slightly, getting heavier the longer I held his gaze, as if he could somehow hear my thoughts.
I really wanted to touch his hair. “It’s been so long though that it’s just nostalgia now. Rainy days and oranges remind me of what my life was like before everything fell apart. Before I became an omega.”
Suddenly, I could smell the sweet scent of oranges and vanilla with a more intense note of sandalwood than I remembered Liam having.
The pheromones were strong enough I could even smell them through his scent blockers and my skin started to feel hot and tight, just like it had the night before.
It hurt everywhere he wasn’t touching me, and I was so fucking thirsty I might just die without another glass of water.
Every second he held my gaze felt like an eternity and all I wanted to do was beg him to hold me – to do something when every inch of me felt feverish and there was something slick making my underwear damp…something that deepened the scent of oranges until it was dark as night and unbelievably delicious.
In his presence, surrounded by his scent, I could finally breathe – really breathe for the first time since my mother died.
For whatever reason, Liam was the answer to all my problems whether I knew how to deal with that or not. His pheromones promised me the kind of safety and security no one else ever could. His scent would make any other alpha back the fuck off and those assholes would never try to make me do anything ever again.
Not if they were to catch even the tiniest hint of these pheromones.
My body needed his in so many ways …
“Can I touch you?” I had to be a little pheromone drunk because the urge to slide my fingers through his hair was impossible to resist.
Liam closed his eyes and I’d honestly never seen anything more attractive than this quiet resistance to whatever thoughts my question had stirred up. “Do whatever you want, Lucy.”
This would definitely cross a line.
He was my employer and I was the person investigating his brother’s death. The moment I touched him, the lines between our professional and personal relationship would blur and I could never take that back.
As if that weren’t bad enough, I knew exactly how dangerous and stupid this was considering how little I knew about him, but I slid my fingers through his hair anyway, marveling at the silky softness of it.
Pushing it out of his face made him look younger and softer. When I let go, it fell into his eyes once more and he looked through the gossamer strands with this desperate hunger …
That look was like a glass of ice-cold water being thrown in my face when I realized just how close I was to saying fuck it and doing something about that hunger right here and now.
It didn’t matter to me that those waiters could bring the food in at any moment or that if I kept provoking him, it would affect everyone in this building when he lost control…
None of that was enough to convince me to stop touching him.
Shit, I couldn’t do this. Not here. Not with him.
Not when I was pretty fucking sure I was losing my damn mind.
I had to get the fuck out of here before it was too late.