40. Cassius
CHAPTER 40
Cassius
I’ve never seen anything so beautifully tragic as this omega, and that was saying something.
But that question…did she know? Did she figure it out somehow? I wouldn’t put it past her. Lucy was a fucking genius after all. It wouldn’t surprise me if she’d figured out who Liam really was, and that by default I knew who she was.
The look in her eyes though – I was pretty fucking sure I’d never seen that look in an omega’s eyes before. It was…haunted. There was a vicious cruelty in them that was all mixed up in grief and disgust.
I’d known something like this would happen, but I hadn’t expected whatever the fuck this was. Lucy was feeling scared and vulnerable, which made sense, but she was crying and I couldn’t figure out why.
Then, like it was nothing, she smiled at me and it felt like I was finally seeing who she really was. Lucy was giving me the opportunity to see into her soul, and I had no idea why, but I knew without a fucking doubt that this was about to blow up in my face if I wasn’t very, very careful.
I didn’t want to think about what would happen if she left because of me. Liam really would kill me then, if I didn’t beat him to it.
Maybe that was a dramatic way of looking at it, but Lucy had never been like other omegas. Yeah, I’d known what she was the moment I saw her, but the way she distanced herself – the vicious confidence she’d had when she’d pointed that gun at me…
Lucy was a different breed – as different as a legacy alpha to the rest of us, and I think I was finally starting to understand how.
I could see exactly what made her different as she looked at me through her tears, as well as the way she’d posed her question – turning it into a trap. If I lied to her and said I didn’t know anything about her parents…
My instincts were telling me she’d know I was lying, and that would be the end of whatever we’d started during her heat. There was no fucking way I was going to risk that, but if I said anything that implied I knew who she really was, that would fuck this all up too.
Liam and I really knew how to pick them, didn’t we? The first omega who didn’t overdose on his pheromones or mine, let alone both, and she’d waited until after the first wave of her heat to show me just how fucking insane she was.
It was impossible not to return that sardonic little smile of hers. Lucy was something else all right, and I couldn’t get enough of it.
“Do you want me to know why your father killed your mother?” I leaned back against the tub, sliding my hands up her arms to rest them on her shoulders just in case she tried something really crazy.
Like running away.
Her smile widened ever so slightly and then disappeared completely. Her gaze shifted from me to the water and it suddenly felt like she was a million miles away even when I could feel her skin against mine. “My father never told me why he killed her, but I think I know now.”
Fuck . What the hell did that mean?
“Alphas are born hungry. Did you know that?” Her clear, grey eyes slid back to my face, showing me just how much she’d been forced to understand that. “My father wasn’t an alpha though. He was an omega.”
Even though I already knew that, it still made me just as uneasy as it had the first time I’d read through the information Liam had on Daphne Thomas. It was the same exact feeling I’d gotten the first time I’d laid eyes on her too.
Lucy had always put me on edge.
Whatever had given her omega father the strength to kill alphas…Lucy had it too.
“I still don’t know why he killed her, or rather, what it was that pushed him over the edge,” she explained, trailing her fingers through the water like this wasn’t one of the more disturbing conversations I’d ever had. “But I do know why he decided to get rid of her.”
Never in my life was I more grateful for my ability to hide my thoughts and emotions from my body and scent than I was in that very moment. Her words were like a knife sliding between my ribs, aiming for the heart.
Lucy had made herself very clear whether she was aware of it or not.
I was something she needed to get rid of. How she planned to do that…I didn’t fucking know, but I’d better hurry up and figure it out or she’d destroy us all.
“My father was a blood splatter analyst,” Lucy continued, without a care in the world it seemed as the dried blood on her nails became liquid once more, endlessly swirling as she moved her fingers through the water. “He worked for half the police precincts in the city as a consultant, and was very good at his job, but my mother was an alpha…she worked in private security. ”
I forced my hands to stay relaxed on her shoulders despite how my instincts were screaming at me to tie her up and gag her before she said or did something I couldn’t fix. There wasn’t a single weapon on her, but I wasn’t an idiot. She didn’t need one to hurt me.
Or herself.
“See, she traveled a lot for work – going on tour with the omega she worked for all the time. Most of the year, it was just me and my dad while she traveled, and he used to lock himself up in his room during his heat cycle when she was gone. I had no idea what was going on back then, but I could hear him screaming .” Lucy’s gray eyes darkened ever so slightly when she met my gaze once more. “His cycle was regular, unlike mine, and when she wasn’t home, he was always in excruciating pain.”
Jesus fucking Christ, this was not going to end well, was it? I had no fucking clue what her point was going to be, but this was dangerous.
What the fuck would Liam do if he heard her talking like this? What would she do? Would anything change? Or was this just directed at me? No matter how much it would hurt, I really fucking hoped this was just directed at me. Liam would handle it, and we’d all be able to function normally again.
But if it wasn’t…
“My father relied on her too much,” Lucy told me, as if it were a simple fact and there was zero emotion attached to it. “He always went crazy when she wasn’t there, and he wasn’t strong enough to go back to the way things were before she came into his life…but she wouldn’t stay either.”
Lucy sighed and flicked some of the bloody water in my face, like I wasn’t doing a very good job of listening to her.
It pissed me the fuck off, but I had to remember this was more emotion than she’d ever shown me before. Lucy didn’t trust me outside of what I could do for her during her heat, and I couldn’t really blame her .
But now she was showing me something – letting me see through that marble mask of hers.
This was definitely a test.
I arched an eyebrow and tilted my head as I studied her, wondering how she and Liam could be so similar and yet so different.
Well, Liam tested me every fucking day of my life and Lucy wasn’t any different. I could handle this much, but if she tried to leave?
My hands involuntarily tightened on her shoulders and a spark of something truly nasty filled her eyes, but she smiled at me, and I knew I’d fucked up. She thought I was reacting to what she was saying, not the idea of her leaving, and I needed to fix it right the fuck now before that spark could turn into a blazing inferno.
“I know it’s bad manners to speak ill of the dead, but if she left him like that, even after knowing how it affected him, I don’t think she was a very good alpha,” I told her, digging my fingers into her shoulders hard enough there would be fresh bruises to add to all the others.
“You think so?” Lucy didn’t seem convinced, but that nasty spark turned into curiosity instead of disgust. “I don’t think she even knew how bad it was. My father didn’t want to worry her.”
Fuck, this wasn’t going well. Where the hell was Liam when I needed him?
“Regardless, even if she knew, I don’t think that justifies murder.” Lucy watched me closely, waiting to see how I would react.
“Maybe,” I admitted, forcing myself to release her shoulders to slide my hands up to her neck where I could feel her life pulsing in her veins. “But I can’t say I don’t understand why he did it, if that’s what was going on. Pain makes it impossible to think clearly.”
“For some,” Lucy agreed. Then she raised her eyebrow at me, mirroring the expression I’d made earlier. “But I prefer pain. It’s easier.”
“Is that so?” I tightened my hold on her neck, pulling her back against me. It wasn’t even a conscious action, but one born of instinct and need.
I wasn’t allowed to mark her first, but I wanted to bond her before she could run away. Then she’d never be able to escape me. Lucy could try to run away all she wanted after that, but I’d always find her.
Maybe I’d even let her get a little head start before hunting her down and chaining her to my chair so I could carve more than just my bond into her.
“Do you want me to hurt you, Lucy?” I raised my eyebrow again, mirroring her expression this time.
A flicker of that anxiety I’d scented earlier came back, and she watched me warily. I’d stolen control from her for just the briefest moment, offering something she might want, but I knew it wouldn’t last.
This girl was an enigma, and I didn’t think I’d ever really know all of her. That was fine. I didn’t care as long as she belonged to me – to Liam.
“Alphas are born hungry,” Lucy whispered, as if she hadn’t heard my question. “But so was I.”
“That doesn’t surprise me.” There were still marks on her neck from when I’d held her like this while she was knotted to me. Her delicate skin bruised so easily and I couldn’t get enough of it.
“Desire tastes different when you’re born hungry.” Lucy sounded like she was confessing in church to a priest, ashamed of what she was, but I couldn’t be more enamored.
“What does it taste like?” Would I be able to taste it on her if I kissed her now?
I licked my lips and studied hers, wondering how much force it would take to reopen the wound she’d given herself when I was fucking her .
“It tastes like desperation,” she confessed, those words little more than a whisper.
Ice slid through my veins and I went completely still, refocusing on her eyes to see it wasn’t just that, but devastation too.
She desperately wanted this, but knew she couldn’t have it, and Lucy was devastated by that.
Why? Why couldn’t she have it – have us? There was nothing in the world she might want that would convince Liam to let her go. She could ask for anything, even demand he give up his pack, and he’d do it.
“I’m always choking on this hunger…” Lucy reached for me, and I was frozen in place. There’d been another shift in her, and this time I couldn’t read what it was. “My father always told me that to be loved means to be consumed, and I think I finally understand what he meant.”
If that's what she wanted, I’d consume her right here and now until there was nothing left, but my instincts were telling me that wasn’t what she needed.
She needed to fucking understand there was nothing she could possibly need or want that we wouldn’t give her.
Then a fresh wave of tears slid down her face as she looked up at me, and I felt…like maybe…she’d ruined me all over again.
Lucy smiled through her tears just like the last time and said something I’d never, ever forget.
“Cassius, I want to eat you alive .”