44. Lucy
CHAPTER 44
Lucy
This time when I woke up, I was surrounded by oranges, sharp apples, and vanilla with a hint of sandalwood and cedar. It was comforting and soothing enough I didn’t want to wake up, even if there was a prickle of anxiety in the back of my head.
My head felt foggy, but my body was finally cool and light – as if I’d been buried under a thousand pounds of lava and it was all finally gone. It was such a relief I felt tears prick my eyes and just barely managed to blink them away.
Liam’s arm was around my waist and his body was curled around me. Even his legs were all tangled up in mine as he slept. He was breathing so deeply I couldn’t help but wonder how long it had been since my last clear memory.
Fuck, I’d thought the way I’d felt in that car was the worst thing I’d ever experienced, but I’d been so very wrong.
The first twenty-four hours of my heat I was mostly lucid, but I didn’t remember many details or any conversations after what happened in the bathtub. The last clear memory I had was Cassius tying me up on the bed while Liam worked me into a frenzy.
Everything after that felt like a dream. I could remember bits and pieces, but there had been no sense of time. Just the dark room, the comfortable bed, Cas, and Liam.
I’d trusted them to do what needed to be done – fully, completely. I’d trusted them to take care of me no matter what that looked like.
This was why my father had been so adamant about avoiding sex with alphas. Because it was so easy to get addicted. I wasn’t stupid enough to think I’d been able to avoid it. Not when I was content in Liam’s arms while he slept with his hand on my stomach.
The way they looked at me was the most addicting thing on the planet and when my head was finally clear of their scent, I knew reality would shatter what was left of me. I would be forced to see everything had been nothing more than the obsession of an alpha exposed to an omega in heat.
Still, getting to experience this even if it was just once…
It was worth it.
Never had I experienced a heat like that. Not a single one had been that long or that intense, and the prickle of anxiety in the back of my head grew as I wondered just how long it had been.
My gut was telling me I didn’t want to know.
During my heat, time had no meaning when they kept me full and satisfied my every want and need. It was the only thing I could really remember. I’ve never been so out of it before, but I did know they’d made sure I was fed and hydrated whenever there was a lull. If it wasn’t that, they made sure I slept, but it hadn’t been much.
Every once in a while they’d take me to the shower. It had always turned into a fuckfest, but I’d been clean and whoever had stayed behind made sure the sheets were fresh and warm when I got back. Before the scent of our combined pheromones could ever weaken, whoever had disappeared came back to reassure me they were still there for me.
It was impressive really, just how well these two worked together. It was seamless and effortless. After that first time, I never had to worry when one disappeared because their pheromones were everywhere.
Even now, there were traces of Cassius’s scent all wrapped up in mine and Liam’s. It was strongest on my pillow and I breathed it in, ignoring the lurch in my stomach.
He may be gone, but based on the strength of the scent it hadn’t been for long. I highly doubted he’d left the house, but it was quiet enough to make me worry. Was he sleeping in the other room?
I carefully removed my hand from Liam’s and let out a shaky breath.
This was bad.
Why did I care where he was or when he came back? They’d gotten me through my heat and I finally felt normal again. They’d done their duty as alphas and now it was finally over. I couldn’t let them take responsibility for me any more than they already had.
Even now, I wanted all the things they’d promised me. I wanted it more than anything in the world, but that was just my omega instincts pushing me to find a way to take what I needed. If I wanted to continue living free from traditional expectations, I couldn’t give in. I had to prove I was unfit for the position of a legacy alpha’s omega.
Unfortunately though, I’d been wrong about Cas.
I’d tried to show him how stupid this was – that his precious Liam, the Valor pack…everything he cared about would be in danger because of me . Every choice up until now was one Cas had made to protect Liam, and for the first time in years, I’d seen Cassius Valentine break that pattern.
Why?
I might not have killed Cassius when given the chance, but I’d wanted to see his blood run until it overflowed the tub. I’d wanted to see what face he’d make if I slid that wicked sharp blade between his ribs.. .
Cas had been willing to die for me. That much was clear, and I had no fucking idea why. It was driving me insane. Why did they care so much? Why were they both so goddamn perfect?
I fucking hated it.
Finding out that I was the daughter of a serial killer should have been enough.
And I’d seen the unease in Cas’s eyes when I’d mentioned my father was an omega, not an alpha. Knowing that an omega could find the strength to kill alphas made him nervous. As it should. Omegas were supposed to create a space where the members of a pack could grow and thrive while the alpha protected it and kept it safe. The omega created peace for their alphas and whoever they decided to call family.
Cassius and Liam were just too stupid to see I was a threat to their peace. Sure, I didn’t kill him today. But what about tomorrow? What about a morning I woke up alone and couldn’t handle it? These two were executives in a Fortune 900 company. There was no way I could expect them to stay by my side all day every day like Frankie.
But…they’d dealt with the situation better than I could have ever anticipated.
Cas had proven how little he cared about his own life while drunk on my pheromones. And Liam trusted me with Cas’s life. Or at least, he’d been curious enough to find out if I really would kill him.
That didn’t reassure me at all. Liam was too much like me for his own good. He’d even given me a knife, like he wanted to prove to me I couldn’t kill them, but I knew I could, which was why I’d done what I had.
What I’d tried to do a hundred other times.
It had scared Liam. I hadn’t expected that, but I felt like I should have.
Liam had truly believed I would slit my own throat, and I was still a bit shaken by that. No one else had ever believed me, but he and Cas hadn’t hesitated. The second I’d put the knife to my throat, they’d moved in perfect harmony.
These two…they made me want to trust them with my life.
But, would they feel the same way when I wasn’t putting out the scent of an omega in heat?
What would happen with twenty-four hours to detox from each other’s pheromones? What about when I put my scent blockers on, or when I learned to control my pheromones just like Cas and Liam?
Would they be giving me all the same promises?
Knowing the things I would say to get what I wanted right now, I knew there was a very slim chance they would. It wasn’t their fault though, it was mine . My pheromones had made them just as fucking insane as me.
Once they detoxed from my scent, things would go back to normal and I could try again. I could show them that had been just the tip of the iceberg.
I’d been hiding who I really was for so many years, and I knew without a doubt that showing them why I’d been wearing a mask for so long would get them to back the fuck off.
Seriously, how could they presume to make such wild claims even under the influence of my pheromones? Enough to insist I’d never be alone again.
What a fucking joke.
But the way Liam’s garnet eyes gleamed down at me had been…addicting. And oddly familiar. It was a look I recognized – one I’d seen in the mirror a thousand times before.
His fervent declaration that he’d never let me go should have terrified me—set off every warning bell and instinct I possessed, but all it had done was settle some of the frothing insanity boiling under my skin.
There had to be something wrong with them – something I was missing. Had to be. There always was when it came to alphas .
The anxiety I’d been ignoring grew and I couldn’t sit still anymore. I needed to see him.
Carefully, I rolled over and faced Liam. Orange candy and the coppery taste of blood still lingered on my tongue. My body was sore, but nothing hurt. Even the tearing down there seemed to be healed.
Maybe Liam was right. It was fucking insane to think I might really be a dominant omega, but I shouldn’t feel this refreshed after how roughly they’d treated me. The only thing that would explain why I didn’t feel wrecked was because my body was made to withstand a legacy alpha and then some. Otherwise, I’d still be broken and bleeding.
But, that didn’t mean they’d be able to withstand me .
Liam was still sound asleep despite me moving around and there were dark circles under his eyes that made me wonder when the last time he’d slept was. It looked like he’d barely survived my heat. Exactly how long had it lasted?
I needed to find my phone and see what time it was – what day. I needed to check in with Frankie and make sure she was okay or at the very least informed about my situation. It was the first heat I’d had without her and I didn’t feel as strange about it as I knew I should, not when Liam looked like a fallen angel with all those shadows on his face.
Before I could think about what I was doing, I reached out and brushed the white-blond hair out of his face and then rubbed my thumb over his cheek as I remembered the clusterfuck of emotions I’d gotten to see in the garnet eyes of a legacy alpha – the first alpha to scent my pheromones and find them pleasing enough to fuck me.
That alone made him precious to me and always would.
Somehow, I had to protect him from all the dangerous shards of my soul.
It was hard to believe I was the reason he looked so exhausted and miserable. Was everything out of his mouth lies? Helping me through my heat must have been more of a chore than he’d let on.
Liam suddenly let out a soft sigh and I froze, holding my breath as I waited for him to wake up, but he was out cold. Just how far had he pushed himself and why the fuck would he do that for me? We barely knew each other, and he had no obligation to go that far for someone he’d just met.
So , why?
That word was starting to repeat in my head, pulsing like an infected wound. It would drive me mad all over again if I couldn’t get answers. I wasn’t sure I could ignore it this time, not like I had before.
I still had to work side by side with them until this case was over. Every time I saw them that question would prick at me until I was so distracted I couldn’t do my job properly. That why would push me to do things I wouldn’t normally until I had the answers I needed.
But I didn’t know how far I would go, and I didn’t know if there was even an answer that would satisfy me. That was what made me so threatening to their peace. I didn’t know how to stop pushing even when I knew I should.
Maybe…maybe they just needed an omega. One who was strong enough not to overdose on the pheromones I could still feel emanating from Liam as if he knew just how badly I needed them even when he was asleep.
He was addicting in every way possible.
I needed answers or I was really going to lose my mind. These two were everything the omega inside of me wanted and I’d never felt that way about any alpha before. Not even Frankie.
Slowly, I rolled back over and checked the nightstand for my phone. It was right there, as if they’d known it was the first thing I’d look for when I finally came back to my senses. My hand shook as I reached for it, terrified to see just how many missed messages I had.
It unlocked the second I swiped through the code and my stomach clenched with anxiety when I saw I only had one text, and it was from Frankie, saying Cas had called her and explained everything. She’d even said she knew I was in good hands and didn’t want me to worry, but that I should text her when I finally came out of the heat.
Of course I instantly responded, letting her know it was done, and that’s when I saw the date.
Two weeks.
My heat had gone on for two weeks .
Jesus fucking Christ, what the hell was wrong with me? How was that even possible?
I almost dropped my phone thanks to how badly my hand was shaking, but I managed to set it back on the nightstand without waking Liam up.
No wonder Liam looked half dead.
Why would they do this for me? Why not just sedate me?
I noticed the syringe was still on the nightstand, full of whatever it was the doctor had given Cas. It looked sharp under the soft yellow light from the lamp in the corner.
Why?
None of this made any sense.
I needed to find Cassius and get some fucking answers. If I didn’t get this shit under control, my life would implode. I wasn’t equipped to deal with a relationship like this, and I had no idea how to manage it along with everything else going on in my life.
Not to mention, we hadn’t been able to discuss anything without being under the influence of my pheromones. An omega in heat made alphas fucking crazy. I couldn’t take anything they’d said or done seriously. Everyone knew that.
What I would do if they kept saying and doing the same shit, even now…
I didn’t know.
That didn’t matter right now, not really. What mattered was finding out why my heat was thirteen days long and why they’d pushed themselves to the breaking point to take care of me.
I had to make sure they understood just how delusional they were being, and once I’d done that, I could leave and pretend like none of this had ever happened because I knew—I knew there was no way they could keep doing this.
None of it was real. They’d been under the influence of an omega in heat. That was all. It had meant nothing and to prove that, I needed to find Cassius. He hadn’t liked me before I’d gone into heat so it would be easy enough to get him to admit I was nothing but a job.
None of it meant anything no matter what they’d said.
All I had to do was prove it.