Chapter Two #3
A different feeling, one that she refused to acknowledge, a stone settling deep in her gut, was there as well. A stone that grew, that pulsed and threatened to take over every part of her. A pervasive wondering, echoing a question over and over in the cavern of her mind.
Would she find that same sort of happiness? The kind that made her brother forget he was mad at his boyfriend over an anime the moment Kai alluded to their future together. Could Sammie have that someday, too?
It didn’t feel possible. She hadn’t had time to see her only remaining family member for two weeks. They’d hardly even talked, between work and the inevitable exhaustion brought on by said work. Life was so much already, how could she ever find time for anything more?
“I’m with Kai, actually,” Ivy said. “I’m pretty sick of all things volleyball at the moment. Been pulling extra hours prepping for the tournament.”
“You’re as bad as me.” Sammie braced her arms on the table, resting her cheek on a fist. “We really need to get a life.”
“I say start by quitting your job,” Atticus chimed in.
Both women turned toward him, and he pointed at Ivy.
“Not you. We need you.” His attention turned to Sammie, and even though she knew he was half-teasing, it still made something warm run through her veins, knowing that he could see how much her job was affecting her.
“Leave that place,” he continued. “Tell off that asshole of a boss you’ve got. Find something you like better that doesn’t run you ragged like this.”
Kai was nodding along. “You do have bags under your eyes right now.”
Ivy reached up and poked under Sammie’s left eye. “He’s right.”
“Fuck you both,” Sammie growled, glowering at her beer. “I can’t just quit.”
She could feel Atticus vibrating next to her and knew he was holding back something she wouldn’t want to hear.
Sammie sighed. “Just say it.”
“You could get a different job if you sold the house.”
The rock swelling in her stomach grew tenfold, transforming into something that threatened to spill out of her.
“I’m not selling the house.”
This wasn’t the first time they’d had this conversation.
It had come up several times over the last year or so.
Sure, in an ideal world Sammie would quit her job, tell Robert Everly to get sincerely fucked, and go find some place where everything she’d learned about brewing could be put to better use.
Somewhere that valued her and all her craft knowledge.
But Everly paid well. It wasn’t the gold standard pay rate for the industry by any means, but it was enough.
Enough for Sammie to have her small apartment, her Jeep.
Her grandmother’s house. Sure, she hadn’t been left with a mortgage, but her childhood home always, always needed something else repaired, and Sammie wasn’t about to let it fall into ruin.
“I think you should keep thinking about it,” Atticus said softly, draping an arm over her shoulders, hugging her to his side.
He had offered time and again to help with the repairs, but Sammie had refused over and over.
Atticus hadn’t wanted the house. He had never wanted to keep it, not once since the day it had ended up in their hands.
Sammie wasn’t going to let him pay for something he had let go of years earlier.
Even if he did have a pretty rich boyfriend.
“Maybe you can keep posting brewery stuff online,” Kai chimed in, his amber eyes wide and attentive. “Or something. There’s cash to be made with niche content.”
Sammie grimaced. She’d started making short videos about life making beer after Kai had sent her a few from other small breweries across the country.
Some of them were informative, some funny, inside jokes for others in the industry.
The ones featuring the beloved brewery cat, Gertrude, always pulled in a ton of views.
Sammie didn’t think anything she’d posted truly qualified as going viral, but it was a fun thing for her to do.
She’d found she liked being in front of the camera, was more comfortable with it than she’d expected to be.
It was a small thing she could do to help her keep hold of the joy she had initially found in her job.
And if she made a few bucks along the way, she wouldn’t be mad about it.
“Ooh.” Atticus’ eyes sparkled. “Should have made a post today about the hot delivery guy dropping off grain. People would love that.”
Kieran must have mentioned his delivery while at practice. Heat flooded Sammie’s cheeks. “I will not be doing that, actually.”
Ivy poked her side. “Then the whole internet will know about your little crush.” Kai snickered.
“Oh my god.” Sammie buried her face in her hands. “I hate all of you.”
It seemed as if everyone in her life knew about her little crush except for the person she was crushing on. Had been crushing on. For years.
“I don’t have time for…” She waved a hand while squeezing her eyes shut. “Any of that.”
“Boring,” Atticus said. “If Kieran is going to keep his head planted firmly up his ass, you should go out and have fun with someone else.”
“No.”
“Boooring.”
“No.”
Ivy held up a hand, interrupting their argument. “Maybe Atticus is right. A little fun never hurt anyone.”
Sammie watched as Kai’s brows shot up, as her brother glanced at him and was met with a tiny head shake. She frowned. What was that about?
“Besides, Kieran’s an idiot if he can’t see what’s right in front of him,” Ivy continued, eyes glued to her pint glass as she slowly turned it between her hands.
Atticus looked like he was going to vibrate out of his skin, and Kai was practically glaring at him.
Something was definitely up with those two, and it seemed to involve Ivy.
But when Sammie pointed a questioning look in Kai’s direction, he simply shook his head at her as well.
“And speaking of fun,” Ivy continued. “Have you looked at the last post I sent you?”
Count on Ivy to change subjects faster than Sammie could keep up with.
She pulled out her phone, clicking a notification to pull up the thread the two of them had going.
Over time they had fallen into the habit of sending each other every vaguely NSFW social media post they came across.
Sammie scrolled past a guy that was more or less molesting a lump of dough, past a masked trio making sounds that had Sammie glad her volume wasn’t high.
All the way down to the last post Ivy had sent earlier that afternoon.
“I don’t even like men,” Ivy said, leaning over Sammie’s shoulder to peek at her phone. “But god damn. And he’s wearing a hat, so of course I needed you to see it.”
Sammie did, in fact, have a thing for hats. The guy in the picture was wearing a black ball cap, plain, no brand insignias or team logos. The bill was pulled down low, shading most of his face, adding to the shadows already playing over his skin in the low lighting of the room.
The hat was all he seemed to be wearing.
His caption simply read, “More on my site, video tomorrow <3.” The heart was weirdly endearing, considering the fact that his page seemed to mostly be a tease for his truly not safe for work content.
“I do like hats.” Sammie scrolled further down his page as Ivy sat back with a smug, “You’re welcome.”
“Let me see!” Atticus leaned closer, peering at Sammie’s phone. She clicked the screen off.
“Nope.”
“So selfish.” He pouted, but Kai was sliding out of the booth, reaching out to tug at his arm.
“Vash needs dinner.” Kai pulled Atticus up to stand next to him, shoving enough cash into Sammie’s hand to cover their drinks and a tip for Zehra. Sammie suspected that he was using their kitten’s need for food as an excuse after reaching his social battery limit.
“And you look like you could use some extra sleep.” Ivy patted Sammie’s shoulder. She was right. But even with extra sleep, the grind would continue. Sammie would have to do it all over again tomorrow. And the next day.
Sammie bid goodnight to her brother and friends, taking the money Kai had left up to the bar to pay off a tab that Zehra tried to pretend didn’t exist.
An hour later found her in bed, having thrown together a quick dinner of leftover pasta that she scarfed down before eating a gummy and curling up with a book, ready to escape for just a little while before sleep carried her to another day.